Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 8.28.17

Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 8.28.17

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– IC Title Contender’s Battle Royal: Jeff Hardy wins at 16:20 [**]
– Enzo Amore defeated Noam Dar @ 3:03 via pin [*]
– Cesaro defeated Seth Rollins @ 10:22 via pin [***]
– Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus @ 11:04 via pin [***]
– Emma defeated Mickie James @ 1:44 via pin [NR]
– John Cena & Roman Reigns defeated Anderson & Gallows @ 6:10 via pin [*½]
– Raw Women’s Title Match: Alexa Bliss defeated Champion Sasha Banks @ 14:03 via pin [**¾]

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– Follow all of my reviews at this link.

– I reviewed the first four episodes of the Mae Young Classic, and you can check those out below…

* Episode 1
* Episode 2
* Episode 3
* Episode 4

– Booker T is stuck in Texas due to the hurricane, and since we’re in Memphis, Jerry Lawler is here.

The Miz Talks: He’s flanked by Maryse, Axel , and Dallas. But before he can talk, Kurt Angle arrives and interrupts him. Angle says that the IC Title will be on the line at No Mercy. He then makes a #1 contenders battle royal for tonight; the winner gets a title shot next week.

IC Title Contender’s Battle Royal : Participating are Balor, Dallas, Axel, Big Show, The Hardys, Jordan, Truth, Goldust, Hawkins, Crews, Kalisto, Anderson, Gallows, & Elias. Everyone attacks Hawkins and they toss him. Show runs wild a bit, Kalisto gets tossed by Dallas and Axel. It slows into mass brawling, the Good brothers and Balor eliminate Show; Elias breaks things up before they could share a too sweet. Dallas and Axel toss Truth, they go after Balor but he survives. Gallows and Anderson eliminate Goldust (remember when Goldust was going to announce his new masterpiece?) as we go to a break. Post break and this is just crawling along, as Matt hardy low bridged Gallows to eliminate him. Anderson and Matt brawl on the apron, Matt posts Anderson and eliminated him. Gallows pulls him t the floor for the elimination. Miz helps out Dallas and Axel. We’re down to Jeff Hardy, Elias, Jordan, Balor, Dallas and Axel. Balor runs wild and goes face to face with Jeff. They brawl, Jeff plays the hits, and then gets cut of by a slain blade and shotgun drop kick. Bray Fucking Wyatt then arrives to toss Balor. Why? Jordan tosses Dallas and Axel, but Hardy tosses he and Elias to win. Jeff Hardy wins at 16:20 [**] This falls into the, “well, that was a match” category. Jeff winning was a nice surprise, but this felt bland and too long. I like it because they aren’t sure what to do with the Hardys with the Revival being injured and Jeff isn’t getting any younger. Finally, hey Bray Wyatt, no one wanted you here.

– Alexa talks about her rematch with Sasha Banks tonight. She says the same thing a last week, she will win because Banks always fails at retaining the title.

– Enzo comes out and says the same thing as always. He then brags about Cass getting what he deserved for pricking on him. He also makes sure to mention that he was at the Mayweather vs. McGregor fights over the weekend.

Enzo Amore vs. Noam Dar: This is Enzo’s cruiserweight debut. I mean, you couldn’t give Enzo someone good? They attempted to do some grappling early, Enzo looked completely lost. Dar takes control as Neville watches on from backstage. Dar has things in check, but Enzo hits a sloppy looking eat defeat to pick up the win. Enzo Amore defeated Noam Dar @ 3:03 via pin [*] This wasn’t good at all, and in no way worked as a showcase for Enzo.

BROCK LESNAR HOPS AROUND WHILE PAUL HEYMAN TALK: They are here to praise Braun Strowman as the most worthy challenger to Brock’s title. Heyman gives Strowman the big verbal blowjob, putting over his Summerslam performance. He continued to praise Strowman for what he did last week, and we get footage. Heyman then heads into the hard sell for No Mercy, vowing that Lesnar will hunt Strowman down. Brock takes the mic, and say “suplex city, bitch.” This was a good hype segment for the title match at No Mercy.

– We get highlights from last week’s Cena/Roman Reigns drama. They sign their contract for No Mercy tonight.

Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro: Ambrose & Sheamus are out at ringside. Rollins takes early control, sending Cesaro to the floor. Cesaro back in and Rollins maintains control, hitting a standing moonsault for the near fall. They work back to the floor, with Rollins taking control as he and Ambrose back off Sheamus. Cesaro cuts things off with a tilt a whirl back breaker, and we head to a break. Post break, and Cesaro is working the heat, hitting rolling gut wrench suplexes for a near fall. Cesaro maintains control with ease, heads up top and hits the high cross, but Rollins rolls through covering for 2. Rollins then makes his big comeback, hitting an enziguri and sling blade. The blockbuster follows, but as Rollins heads back up top, Cesaro cuts him off with an uppercut. Rollins slips out and hits the buckle bomb, Ambrose takes out Sheamus but Rollins then got distracted and walked into an uppercut for the win. Cesaro defeated Seth Rollins @ 10:22 via pin [***] This was a good back and forth match, with Cesaro picking up the win with a non-finishing move. I like that, and feel that it’s a tool they could utilize more to make it feel as if matches can end at any time.

– Post match, Sheamus & Cesaro reveal that Sheamus is facing Ambrose next.

Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus: They work back and forth right away, until Ambrose sends Sheamus to the floor. Post break, they work up top and Ambrose fights off the superplex, shoving Sheamus to the mat. But he jumps right into the Irish curse, and Sheamus covers for 2. Sheamus then works into a stretch muffler, Ambrose fight but Sheamus hits a sitout powerbomb for 2. Sheamus now locks in the cloverleaf, but Ambrose makes the ropes. He then hits the tornado DDT for the double down. They make it to their feet, trade strikes but Ambrose hits the neck breaker, covering for 2. Sheamus works the strikes in the ropes, but Ambrose stuns him off the ropes. Ambrose up top, and Sheamus cuts him off with a Finlay roll off of the ropes. Sheamus calls for the brogue kick, Ambrose avoids, and hits the jawbreaker lariat. Rollins and Cesaro brawl, Rollins hits the flying knee to Sheamus and that allows Ambrose to pick up the win Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus @ 11:04 via pin [***] This was another good match, as they go 50/50 to continue to build to a rematch.

– Emma meets with Mickie, with Emma talking about trending on Twitter. Mickie makes fun of her for Jax killing her last week, as Emma rants about starting the women’s revolution. Mickie says if she loses, she’ll tweet whatever Emma wants, but if she wins, Emma can never take credit for starting the women’s revolution. Well that a horribly stupid stipulation.

Mickie James vs. Emma: This is a match based on hashtags. Emma has new theme music. Emma controls early, but James cuts her off, hitting a dropkick. James hits an awkward looking neck breaker; it looked like Emma tried to bump early. James hits kicks, but Emma sits down on a sunset flip and picks up the win. Emma defeated Mickie James @ 1:44 via pin [NR] #MovingAlong

– Emma repeatedly says she started the women’s revolution. Yup.

Cena & Reigns Sign Their No Mercy Contract: Kurt Angle is out to host the segment. Cena hypes his match with Reigns as Mania worthy. He claims Reigns has been protected, and says there is no protection from him. He wants to fight Reigns, and knows Reigns doesn’t want to fight him. Cena signs the contract and Reigns arrives. Reigns basically says that Cena is full of shit, and says Cena’s not a big of a deal as he thinks he is. He doesn’t care about what Cena’s done, because he retired the Undertaker at Mania. He says maybe he doesn’t need to fight Cena. Cena mockingly kneels to him, noting that everyone backstage knows he’s the big dog, but the fans aren’t sure. He admits to be polarizing and jokes about a heel turn, and calls Reigns a cheap ass, corporately created John Cena bootleg. You’re not the guy, you’re just a guy. Cena says he’s not taker, and not a broken down veteran with a bad hip. Cena then says that Reigns knows if he signs the contract that his empire will be over. Reigns says Cena is a spin master, and that the fans boo Cena because he sucks. Cena is such a dick here, telling Reigns if he wants to be a big dog he needs to learn how to cut a promo. Reigns calls Cena a phony, a yes man, and a bitch. He adds that Cena is a part timing fake ass bitch. Reigns doesn’t bust his ass so Cena can appear on the Today Show and come back when he wants with his shovel to bury young talent. Says that Cena doesn’t like him because he can’t bury him, because he’s the one guy that Cena can’t see. He won’t lessen his legacy to be the next John Cena when her can be the one and only Roman Reigns. Cena calls Reigns a fool and says that he is using the same material that everyone else does, and that is to blame Cena. Good job Reigns, it only took you 5 years to cut a half decent promo. Cena says that people think he has some magical powers and golden shovel, but he’s been hearing this shit for 10-years. Cena says he hasn’t main evented Mania in 5-years, he opened Summerslam and used his US Title run to introduce new stars. You took the US Title as a promotion, and the only reason he’s still here, because Reigns can’t do his job. Step up or step aside, he heard that Reigns was the guy to keep up with him, and says he can do this part time better than Reigns can do this full time. Reigns signs the contract and then tosses over the table. The Good Brothers now arrive, and says there isn’t enough room here for these egos. They declare that Reigns and Cena are not good brothers, and plan to beat down a few nerds. That was really great, I don’t always like the shoot stuff, but they were saying everything that everyone was saying and added some great heat to the feud. They made you feel that they hated each other, and should make for an interesting crowd at No Mercy. Cena was a fucking savage here. I absolutely hate that after trying to assassinate each other on the mic that they will tag together, it makes no sense and takes away from the segment. But they just can’t help themselves. This is shades of Cena & Rock facing Truth & The Miz.

John Cena & Roman Reigns vs. Anderson & Gallows: JIP as Gallows controls, Cena makes the comeback but as he shows off for Reigns, he gets cut off. The Good Brothers work the heat, Reigns seems amused as they cut off the ring, working a lackadaisical heat. Gallows misses the elbow drop, and Cena gets the tag. Gallows runs wild, hits the drive by on Gallows, and then hits the superman punch on Gallows and Anderson. Gallows spears Anderson as Cena hits the AA on Gallows and the tag team partners that don’t get along win. John Cena & Roman Reigns defeated Anderson & Gallows @ 6:10 via pin [*½] This was just there, and very flat. There was no drama, the match didn’t need to take place and all it did was continue to slot Anderson & Gallows as losers. This never should have taken place, that promo segment needed time to settle in and be absorbed by the audience.

– The Drifter is here to debut a new song. He buries Memphis, which allowed Lawler to cut him off and play hero. Lawler brings out Pelvis Wesley from Southpaw Regional Wrestling. Pelvis dances and Elias attack and beats him down. He hits drift away and stands tall.

– Miz and crew walk. He’s upset that he has to face Jeff Hardy next week, claming Jeff didn’t pin anyone. Miz walks away in disgust.

– Banks cuts a promo on tonight’s title match, she says that Bliss talks too much, and tonight she will successfully defend her title and put Bliss in her place.

– Sheamus & Cesaro shill Burger King.

– Tomorrow on 205 Live, it’s Enzo, Cedric Alexander, & Gran Metalik vs. Drew Gulak, Noam Dar, & Tony Nese.

Raw Women’s Title Match: Champion Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss: Bliss attacks at the bell, going for several pin attempts and even pulling the tights. Banks quickly fights back, grounding Bliss. The dropkick follows, and Bliss takes a powder to the floor. Banks follows with meterora off of the apron and we take a break. Post break, and Bliss is in control, grounding Banks and working the arm. Banks tries to fire up, gets to her feet and is then immediately slammed down. Bliss then lays the boots to Banks, and works a bow and arrow variation. Bliss takes her to the buckles, lay in the boots again but Banks slams her to the corner and hits clotheslines. Banks hits the charging knees, but Bliss then rolls to the floor. She then heads up top, but misses the high cross; Banks gets a roll up for 2. They trade near falls until Bliss hits a big right and a code read for a near fall. Ground and pound by Bliss, hits the knees but misses the standing moonsault. Banks slams Bliss to the corner, they trade strikes and Banks then hits the charging knees, and heads up top. Bliss cuts her off, they battle up top and Bliss hits the superplex and both are down. Banks then locks in the Banks statement, but Bliss rolls out. She hits the DDT and wins the title. Alexa Bliss defeated Champion Sasha Banks @ 14:03 via pin [**¾] This was a pretty good match overall, but due to the lack of heat, felt like a 205 Live main event. I am not a fan of Banks failing to retain, again, or the quick title change for no real reason. That’s been happening too much as of late. So we’re either going to Bliss vs. Jax or a three-way with Banks involved.

– Nia Jax arrives, they celebrate and she then attacks Banks. She raises Bliss on her shoulders and then hits the electric chair drop, turning on Bliss. She stands tall and poses with the title.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

~GLORIOUS~

5.7

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

The show started out really flat with the battle royal and Enzo’s cruiserweight debut. It picked up with Ambrose & Rollins vs. Cesaro & Sheamus in good singles matches. The Emma vs. Mickie stuff was all bad, but the Cena vs. Reigns promo was straight fire. The John Cena & Roman Reigns vs. Anderson & Gallows match wasn’t needed at all and was a poor decision, while the main event was pretty good. Outside of the Cena vs. Reigns promo segment (the only must see thing on the show), the show was pretty forgettable and not very good.