Ciocco’s GCW Presents: Joey Janela Spring Break The Immortal Clusterf*ck Review

Hello, all, and welcome once again to my corner of the 411Mania Universe! Ordinarily, I have a long and elegant introduction for every single one of you lovely people, but today, I am making an exception to that rule. The reason being is because, in reviewing this show, there is a much larger timeframe for it (according to Triller), and so I don’t want to spend even more time to smash out an introduction.

Joey Janela’s Spring Break: the Immortal Clusterf*ck is the culmination of the Collective Shows in Las Vegas, and to that end, we’re getting two matches to send us out on. However, one is simply not a match at all. Hailed as, “One Ring, Infinite Chaos, over 30 entrants”, the competitors in the 2026 version of the Immortal Clusterf*ck match will compete for the “Brass Ring” of the independent scene. But before we can get there, the GCW Ultraviolent Title will be on the line in a Hardcore Kingdom Steel Cage Match, as the Champion Otis Coger will defend against Matt Tremont.

Usually, I would also say, “All of this and, of course, so much more in store for us tonight,” but I mean, this IS a Clusterf*ck, so I don’t know what to expect in that regard. So, with that out of the way, let’s go get it!

As with all events that have taken place in Las Vegas NOT named WrestleMania, this show takes place in the Horseshoe in Sin City! Veda Scott and Righteous Rich are on the call tonight.

So, apparently the reason that Triller listed the show as four hours and 44 minutes (!) was because the show had a 45-minute countdown until it actually started. And I thought the countdown for the Big Gay Brunch was bad.

Once the countdown ends, we get the opening video package for GCW. It sort of kind of looks like the one that we got for the Big Gay Brunch yesterday.

We head to the ring, and the steel cage is already set-up. The guy (I’ll assume the ring announcer) says he is inside a steel cage. (Yeah, no shit, bro). He welcomes us to the final show of the Collective Weekend, the Immortal Clusterfuck. (Also, from here-in, when needed, I won’t be censoring the name, since both the ring announcer and Veda are not censoring themselves).

The challenger, Matt Tremont is out first, and the fans are clearly behind him as they sing his theme song. Matt throws his hat into the crowd, and the Champion, Otis Coger, is out next. The ring announcer does the in-ring (in-cage) introductions for both men. And look, I’m not saying every ring announcer needs to be Justin Roberts, or Lillian Garcia, or Mike Rome, but for fuck’s sake, this guy sounds bored and the audio keeps cutting out on him.

GCW Ultraviolent Title Match: Otis Coger (C) vs Matt Tremont

I never heard the bell ring, as Coger and Tremont start slapping each other. Coger makes the first mistake when he charges Tremont, but he crashes into a glass table in the corner of the cage. Tremont chucks Coger into the cage, which is lined with light tubes, and some explode. Tremont yells FUCK YOU and throws Coger into more light tubes. Tremont has a fork, and he cuts the forehead and gets around the eye of Coger. Back to the light tubes we go, and the fork spot follows.

Tremont screams this is his ring, and he shoves Coger against the cage and continues to hack at his forehead with the fork. Tremont screams the name of the company (in case you forgot what it was), as Tremont slams Coger to the mat. Tremont heads to the top, but Coger smashes him in the head with a light tube. Coger throws Tremont into a barbwire door, and he gets the matches first pin for a two.

Coger smacks Tremont with another light tube and then lays a glass table over the back of Tremont. He hits it with a chair, but it doesn’t break, so he tries again and it breaks. Tremont stands up only to sit right back down on the mat. Coger chucks a chair at the head of Tremont, then grabs two thumbtack bats. He smacks Tremont in the arms and then his bald head with the bats and goes into his pocket for the blade. He has Tremont pinned against the cage and cuts his face with the blade. Coger licks the blood off the blade and then is such a nice guy that he picks the thumbtacks out of Tremont.

Both men are a bloody mess, obviously, but now Tremont more so than Coger, as Coger proceeds to wreck all the light tubes over the body of Tremont. He uses the last light tube to break it in the mouth of Tremont. Headbutts from Coger, and Otis grabs a chair and places it over the head of Tremont. Coger heads to the top of the cage, but Tremont is up and he fires the chair at the face of Coger. Otis returns fire, but he misses his Swanton Bomb and hits the mat.

Tremont is back to his feet, and he sets up a barbwire table in the corner, and Tremont hits Coger with a DVD through the table. The cover, but Coger kicks out at just one. Tremont pulls up Coger and puts him against the ropes. He goes into his pockets and pulls out electrical tape. He tapes both arms to the ropes. Coger tells him to fucking break it, Tremont says payback is a bitch, and Tremont smashes every other lightbulb available over his head. Atticus Coger is here, and he tries to get into the cage, but Tremont smashes a lightbulb. Christian Napier, another member of the Vandl48 group, sets up a ladder and he has their faction flag to protect from the barbwire.

Napier gets into the ring and hits Tremont from behind with a chair and breaks the lock so Atticus can get into the cage. Tremont manages to fight off the incoming members, but Otis smashes a chair over the head of Tremont. Otis climbs to the top of the cage, but instead of leaving, he tries a moonsault, but Tremont moves and he lands in the glass.

Tremont smacks all three dudes one and tapes both Atticus and Christian to the corner. He proceeds to smash Otis, Atticus, and Christian in the head with a chair. Otis tells Tremont to take it from his head, so Matt does just that. Tremont pulls out a bundle of light tubes and lays them on top of Otis and heads to the top. Frog Splash through the light tubes to Otis, and Tremont is the new champion!
WINNER: Matt Tremont (and NEW!)
TIME: 16:15
THOUGHTS: I grew up with ECW, even watched the original XPW and CZW, so these kinds of matches don’t bother me. That being said, the match was just fine. Your milage will vary depending upon whether you think your violence should be ultra or just normal. This fell somewhere in the middle, but I will give them credit for having the Vandl48 group try and get into the ring.
RATING: **3/4

Post-match, Tremont screams at Otis that this is his fucking title, he celebrates with the title up the ramp, and we see a dejected Otis in the middle of the ring.

Highlights from Friday Night’s Spring Break X event. More to the point, the Sandman’s retirement match against the Invisible Man. Apparently, Invisible Man had backup, but so did Sandman in the form of Mick Foley. Despite ALL of that, Sandman still lost his retirement match via roll-up.

Next, we get highlights from the tag team match featuring the reunion of Jurassic Express (Jack Perry and Marko Stunt) against KJ Orso (The former Fuego Del Sol) and Sam Stackhouse. The reunited Jurassic Express picked up the win, and after the match, Marko said he was fucking back and left.

Next up, it was the career match between the former members of BUSSY, Effy and Allie Katch. 1 Called Manders, Parrow, and Dark Sheik all got involved in the match. Instead of hitting Effy with the ring connector that Sheik gave her, she refused to hit Effy and hugged him instead. Effy had no such reservations and headbutted Katch, used a screwdriver, and hit a piledriver to end the GCW career of Allie Katch.

Next up, highlights from the match between Atticus Coger and the New Hayabusa. Apparently, Coger’s GCW World Title was on the line, and he retained the belt.

Next up, the show’s namesake, Joey Janela, faced Brodie Lee Jr. AKA The Negative One. Chris Bey made an appearance, but he wasn’t able to help Brodie out. Brodie hit Joey with his father’s discuss lariat but instead opted to submit Janela with the Sharpshooter. Brodie’s mother, Amanda, and his brother, Nolan, hit the ring after the match.

So, now I understand why this show is over four hours long, because they’re going back in time and showing highlights from shows dating back to 2024 and 2025. Well, I signed up to review the matches on this show, so I am hitting the 3x fast forward function.

Okay NOW that the ring has been cleared of all the refuse and the cage has been taken apart, it is time for the main event of the evening!

The 2026 Immortal Clusterf*ck Scramble Match

As I learned during those highlights from the other night, the ring announcers name is simply MLJ, and we learn that the first entrant is Man Like Dereiss, who performs his entrance theme to the ring, even though he keeps saying his voice is fucked. Dedication, though. Entrant number two is Marcus Mathers, who, instead of walking to the ring, he gets carried to the ring.

The bell rings, and we get CLUSTERFUCK chants. Dereiss and Mathers trade roll-ups with no one getting a pin. BTW, these are Rambo Rules, meaning pinfall, submission, or elimination by going over the top rope. They lock-up, and Mathers dropkicks Dereiss. Mathers sends Deriess to the apron, he hits a knee strike, but Mathers ends up on the floor. No elimination, though, because Mathers went under the ropes and Deriss through the middle rope.

Back in the ring, and Dereiss hits a CUTTTER. We get entrant number three, and Alex Abrahantes is here with Sam “Hardway” Holloway. Halloway leaps over the top rope and he boots Mathers in the face. Sam chops Dereiss to the mat. Mathers with a dropkick to no effect. Entrant number four is here, and it’s Bustah and the Brain (Jordan Oliver and Alec Price). They go after Holloway and drop him with a double shoulder tackle. Combination moves keep Holloway off-balance, and Mathers comes in and hits a CUTTER to Halloway, as he rolls out of the ring.

Entrant number five are the new Backseat Boyz Tommy and J.P. Grayson. Okay, so tag teams count one as one entry. Creative, I guess? The Grayson’s take care of Price and Oliver, and Dereiss is back, but they take care of him. Bustah and the Brain are back, and we have ourselves a tag team show down. Price and Oliver lay them out with SUPERKICKS, but JP fires back with a handspring back elbow. We see Holloway and Mathers fighting on the floor. while Oliver and Price take care of one Grayson, while the other one hits a double Blockbuster. Angel Marcini gets into the ring, and she hits a moonsault on to everyone, including her own Backseat Boyz.

Entrant number six is Tombstone Thomas Shire. Shire wipes out Oliver and Price. The Backseat Boyz kick him, but they can’t take him over, and he instead chokeslams both of them, and they are eliminated!

The Backseat Boyz have been eliminated

Entrant number seven is out, and it’s Shotzi Blackheart! Shotzi enters the ring and she hits a dropkick to both Holloway and Shire. They try to work her over, but Shotzi with a double DDT to both men. Mathers ends up eliminating Halloway!

Sam Holloway is eliminated

Mathers and Shotzi mix it up, but Dereiss is back and he battles with Shotzi. Entrant number eight is here, and Abrahantes is back. This time he has found the man with the most hype, and he has Brick Savage. I feel like this is going to be a running gag throughout the whole match. Dereiss tries to chop Savage, but Brick smacks him one. The same treatment is given to, in the order, Mathers, Oliver, and Price. Shotzi tries her hand, she kicks Savage, but Brick catches her out of the air with a powerbomb.

Shire is back, as he collides with Savage in the middle of the ring (literally). Shire wins out with a knee strike to the jaw of Savage, but he takes too long celebrating and Savage hits him with a SPEAR! Entrant number nine is here, and it’s Spyder Nate Webb. Webb hypes up the fans to sing along and clap to Teenage Dirtbag. Well, that’s short lived, as we get entrant number ten. I don’t know who the hell it is, because the girl keeps singing, but the two guys lay in the boots to Webb. Oh, it’s B3CCA, but I don’t know who the dudes are.

Entrant number 11 is, apparently, the Backslide Girls. And they perform way better than B3CCA did lol. Entrant number 12 is another tag team entrant in the form of the Mariachi Mondas. They swing the team around that I don’t know and lay them out. B3CCA tries to smack these dudes, but the one dances with her and drops her.

Everyone is dancing in the ring, and an argument breaks out over gimmick infringement. The one Backslide girl tells them to stop fighting, and she thinks they are all in this together. Dereiss is confused, but eventually, EVERYONE dances in the ring, as the Backslide Girls and DeReiss sing and everyone dances!

Entrant number 13 is KJ Orso, and he wants this fucking bullshit to stop right now. They didn’t come to see this shit, they came to see a real star, like KJ Orso! KJ gets into the ring and proceeds to dress down everyone who is in the ring, and everyone proceeds to beat his ass! Shotzi goes to clothesline Orso, but he moves, and out does Dereiss!

Man Like Dereiss is eliminated

Entrant number 14 is in, and it’s Sam Stackhouse. He lays waste to everyone, and he eliminates both the Mariachi Brothers and the guys who came out with B3CCA.

Four fucking people have been eliminated

Instead of facing Stackhouse, B3CCA jumps over the top rope on her own. Stackhouse and Orso eliminate both of the Backslide girls as well. Webb is also eliminated.

Four more fucking people were eliminated.

Savage is back, though, and he takes on Stackhouse and Orso. Stackhouse eliminates Savage, but he eliminates Stackhouse out of spite.

Sam Stackhouse and Brick Savage are eliminated.

Entrant number 15 is 1 Called Manders. Apparently, Mathers, Oliver, and Price are still in this match, as they come face-to-face with Cowboy Way. Mathers get decked, and Cowboy Way overpower Price and Oliver. Entrant number 16 is Flyin Ryan O’Neill. He takes it to both Shire and Manders, and goes to eliminate Orso, but he lands on the apron.

Entrant number 17 is out, and it’s the Texas Outlaws, apparently, they are the sons of Dustin Rhodes and the nephews of Cody Rhodes. Nice! Apparently, D’Lo Brown is also on commentary now. Shire and Manders eye up the Rhodes, but Flyin Ryan puts himself in the middle of their meeting. Everyone eliminates Ryan from the ring.

Flying Ryan O’Neill is eliminated

The Texas Outlaws bounce Mathers and eliminate him.

Marcus Mathers is eliminated

After some more jawing, the Cowboys EXPLODE in the middle of the ring! The Rhodes hold serve, but Price and Oliver are back. Wyatt Rhodes is eliminated by his own brother, and Bustah and the Brain take care of his brother.

The Texas Outlaws are eliminated

Entrant number 18 is out, and it’s Brooke Havoc! Havoc goes right after Shotzi, then goes after Shire. He catches her initially, but she plants him with a DDT. Manders is in. She lays in chops, Manders to his knees, but he hits one chop and she hits the mat.

Entrant number 19 is Dark Sheik! Sheik hits a spinning heel kick to Shotzi, and with Havoc, they take care of Manders. Oliver is back, but Havoc and Sheik (apparently known as My Chemical Homance) hit the High-Low on Jordan. Orso is back to break up their union, but Havoc spikes him with a DDT.

Entrant number 20 is here, and it’s Matt Mako. Mako and Havoc circle, but Orso shoves Mako into Havoc, but Mako with kicks and a Saito Suplex to Orso. The cover, but Orso kicks out at two. Sheik climbs to the top, but Mako cuts her off and hits a Superplex! He keeps hold and hits another suplex for a two.

We’re back to Havoc and Mako, but no, because entrant number 21 is here, and it’s Beast Man. Mako and Havoc go after him as he tries to get into the ring, but they can whip him, and Beast Man sends them into each other. Beast Man smashes both Mako and Havoc in the corner and then hits CANNONBALLS to both of them. Bossman Slam to Mako, Havoc attacks Beast Man from behind, but he powerbombs Havoc on top of Mako and pins both of them.

Matt Mako and Brooke Havoc are eliminated

Sheik climbs to top and waits for Beast Man to turn around. She jumps but goes splat off of his body. Beast Man goes to eliminate Havoc, but Havoc drags him to the apron. She hits a split legged moonsault and a 619, and the big man is gone!

Beast Man is eliminated

Entrant number 22 is here, and it’s Sean Ross Sapp! Hey, I follow that guy on Facebook lol. He flips off Bryan Alverez at ring side and rolls into the ring and knees Shotzi in the gut. He chokes out Shotzi with his boot, and he keeps starring back at Alverez. Apparently, Bryan is entrant number 23, much to the confusion of MLJ lol. A chop fight breaks out, and Bryan hits a SUPERKICK and pins SRS!

Sean Ross Sapp is eliminated

Orso with a SUPERKICK to Alverez and he pins him and then throws him out lol.

Bryan Alverez is eliminated

Orso goes after Shotzi, but she kicks him in the balls and scores with a DDT! Orso is gone!

KJ Orso is eliminated

Entrant number 24 is Stunt Marshall, who apparently is from Power Slap. He looks like a caveman in the year 2026. He slaps Shotzi, and then hits the floor and slaps Manders, Shire, and Oliver. Marshall with a German to Shotzi back in the ring, and entrant number 25 is Juicy Finau! Marshall wants some of that heat from Finau, while Shiek works over Manders in the corner. Marshall puts his hands behind his back, imploring Finau to slap him. Before he can, Marshall pokes him in the eye and slaps him. He gone and fucked up, as Finau headbutts him and slaps Marshall RIGHT out of the ring lol.

Stunt Marshall is eliminated

Manders wants to slap Finau, but he instead slaps Finau on the ass lol. Juicy slaps him for real, and entrant number 26 is here, and it’s Hollywood Hailey J with her dog! She goes right after Finau, and none of her strikes do any damage. He picks up Hailey and goes to eliminate her, but Marshall is back, and he helps to pull Finau to the floor!

Juicy Finau is eliminated

Entrant number 27 is Killer Kelly! Kelly enters the ring and she grabs both cheeks of Hailey. Strikes and a forearm to the back of the head from Kelly, who licks Hailey’s face. Hailey tries to slap Kelly, but she catches both of her arms and she delivers a headbutt that knocks them both down.

Entrant number 28 is Erica Damea. She enters the ring and goes with after Sheik, catching her in the corner with a Cheeky Nandos. Sheik fires back with a crossbody block for a two. Entrant number 29 is Gisele Shaw. Shaw goes right after Erica and lays her out, then proceeds to wreck Shotzi, Sheik, and Hailey. Shaw with a clothesline to Hailey, but Kelly with a chop and a DVD to Hailey. Kelly and Sheik go spinning, but Sheik with a SUPERKICK to Hailey. Shotzi with a poison rana, but Shaw with a SPEAR to Shotzi. Damea picks up Shaw, but Shaw throws her out instead!

Erica Damea is eliminated

Kelly bites the ass of Shotzi, Hailey, Shaw, and Sheik. EAT THAT ASS chants, so all the other women bite her ass and then eliminate Kelly.

Killer Kelly is eliminated

Shaw and Sheik do battle on the top rope, but they both lose their balance and they both hit the floor.

Dark Sheik and Gisele Shaw are eliminated

Entrant number 30 is a four pack, consisting of Terry Yaki, Jazzy Yang, Jay Lucas, and Bobby Flaco. They hit the ring and take out Bustah and the Brain before focusing on Cowboy Way. Entrant number 31 is here, but first, Alex Abrahantes is going to give it a third shot tonight before introducing the Invisible Man! Holy crap, he’s my pick to win the damn thing!

Invisible Man takes out Manders in the aisle and lays out everyone in the ring! Well, except for Price and Oliver, who think they have the Invisible Man, but he outsmarts them and eliminates both of them!

Bustah and the Brain are eliminated

Cowboy Way go after the Invisible Man now, but Manders is eliminated, and then Shire!

Cowboy Way has been eliminated

Jazzy is going to give her best, but the Invisible Man hits the STUNNER for the pin!

Jazzy Yang is eliminated

Flacco goes after him, but he’s gone!

Bobby FLacco is eliminated

Jay Lucas goes after him, but his powerbomb is reversed and he is eliminated!

Jay Lucas is eliminated

Terry Yaki gets in some shots, but the Invisible Man takes him around the world and throws Yaki out of the ring!

Terry Yaki is eliminated

Entrant number 32 is another four pack of Ian Maxwell, Channing Decker, Halex, and Emily Jay. It’s a fun exchange, but Maxwell and Halex are eliminated quickly. Jay and Decker isolate the Invisible Man, but he ducks and Jay kisses Decker. The Invisible Man rolls up Jay to eliminate her. Decker introduces a chair to the match and hits the Invisible Man, but the man who air forgot reverses, wraps the chair around the neck of Decker, and chokes him out for the submission!

Four more fuckers are eliminated

Entrant number 33 is out to Enter Sandman! But it’s not Sandman, it’s Joey Janela out in a Sandman shirt! We have a real fight on our hands here, but Janela gets the better of the Man with a scoop slam and he chokes him. Irish Whip from Janela, but he runs into the boot from the Man! Janela begs off, but he hits a palm strike. BRAIN BUSTER, proclaims Janela, but he does one better with a stalling Avalanche Vertical Suplex! The cover, but the Man kicks out at two! What a trooper!

Janela fires back with a Destroyer! A second one! A third one! A fourth one! A fifth one, but Man kicks out at two! Janela loads up the band, says I LOVE YOU, and SUPERKICKS the Man and eliminates him!

The Invisible Man is eliminated

Entrant number 34 is out, and it’s Star Man! Yes, THAT Star Man from NES Pro Wrestling! They do a pose off, but Janela gets jealous and attacks Star Man. Star Man is back with strikes, but he glitches and gets stuck lol. Janela blows on him like he was an NES cartridge, but it doesn’t work. He looks for the reset button, but it doesn’t work. Janela unzips the back of his mask, and it’s Starboy Charlie! Charlie with a standing twisting press for a two. He heads to the top, but he misses the Cosmic Swirl. Janela with a DVD, but Charlie kicks out at two. Janela looking Package Piledriver, but Charlie escapes and he hits a Sunset Flip to eliminate Janela!

Joey Janela is eliminated

Shotzi is still alive, and she hits Charlie with a corner DVD for a two. Jawbreaker from Charlie, but he takes too long and gets powerbombed by Shotzi for a two. Entrant number 35 is out, and it’s Jimmy Lloyd. Jimmy goes after Shotzi and eliminates Charlie with an Electric Chair Drop.

Star Man Charles is eliminated

Entrant number 36 is up next, and it’s Don Freeze. Freeze enters the ring and drops Lloyd on his face and hits an enziguri. Cartwheel back elbow into a Northern Lights Throw from Freeze. Entrant number 37 is Maya World! World enters the ring and puts her sunglasses on Freeze. She tries to put her jacket on him, but it only goes around his shoulders. Maya tries to roll him up, but Freeze won’t fall. He catches her off the ropes, she flirts with him and uses it to try and slap him. Maya off the ropes with a flying head scissor and a SUPERKICK! World to the top and she hits the moonsault, but Freeze is out at two.

Entrant number 38 is LJ Cleary! He keeps coming back out from behind the curtain until he gets the response he wants lol. World goes to attack, but Cleary tells her to stop, and he kicks her in the face. Freeze in, but Cleary kicks him in the balls and hits an enziguri.

Entrant number 39 is Monomoth! He hits the ring and hits a Thesz Press and lands punches to Cleary. He does it a second time and hits a thrust kick to LJ. Monomoth with a Bronco Buster to Cleary. World slaps him on the ass, and we learn that entrant number 40 is D’Lo Brown, complete with his WWF theme song and wearing a Bears hoodie.

Brown hits the ring and does his his pose. Cleary wants to show Brown how it’s done. He shows Brown step-by-step how to do his pose, but Brown says get the fuck out of here and throws Cleary out of the ring!

LJ Cleary is eliminated

Freeze is back and he hits some strikes, but Brown avoids his charge and scores with the Low Down! He throws Freeze out of the ring!

Don Freeze is eliminated

Monomoth is back, and he says he doesn’t know who D’Lo is. The nerve lol. Strikes and a dropkick have no effect on Brown. Brown implores Monomoth to lay in the kicks, but Brown is more bored than anything else lol. Brown takes Monomoth and throws him out on top of Cleary and Freeze.

Monomoth is eliminated

Maya is back, and she spins D’Lo around. D’Lo says AW HELL and tries to deescalate the situation. Maya slaps D’Lo and Brown tries to powerbomb Maya out of the ring, but Maya with a Rana sends Brown to the floor!

D’Lo Brown is eliminated

I almost forgot that we had anyone else entering the match, but entrant number 41 is Nixi XS. She enters the ring and circles Maya. Maya says she’s cute, and Nixi says thank you. Entrant number 42 is out, and everyone is very quiet because it’s Sleepy Ed. Ed lays down his pillow in the middle of the ring and says it is sleepy time. Nixi quietly tries to pin him, but Ed rolls her over and puts her in a literal sleeper. Nixi escapes and yells for Ed to WAKE UP. Well, I don’t know what that will do, but I hope it unleashes a beast or something.

Entrant number 43 is literally six dudes down to the ring. One kid named Maddox plants Shotzi with a cutter. Sam and Jack Osbourne take care of Maddox, and we get a POSE! Apparently, they are collectively known as the North Shore.

Entrant number 44 are a trio of Dinosaurs, because why the hell not? We have a blue, brown, and pink dinosaur! Two members of the Northern shore use each other to poke the dinosaurs in the eyes! They celebrate their handiwork way too much, and it allows the dinosaurs to eliminate all six members of North Shore!

The Entire North Shore has been eliminated

Sleepy Ed is back, and he takes a swig of Nyquil! He spits on two of the dinosaurs, putting them to sleep. The blue dinosaur tries a full nelson but doesn’t realize that his arms are too short. Ed sprays the Nyquil at him.

The Dinosaurs have gone extinct

Number 45 is Parrow! Sleepy Ed sprays Nyquil in his face and tries to slap him with his pillow, but Parrow pours the liquid down the throat of Ed. Naturally, this puts him back to sleep, so Parrow has to be extremely careful to not wake up Ed. Parrow can’t pin him, so he shoves Ed out of the ring and tells someone else to come down.

Logan Cavazos is entrant number 46, and apparently, this is the Twink Gauntlet. It was so nice, we had to do it twice. Parrow smacks him one and wants another Twink, so entrant number 47 is Juni Underwood. Juni enters the ring and wants Parrow to look down, but he won’t and calls him fucking stupid, so Juni just poked him in the eye. Parrow throws Underwood to the corner and wants another Twink. Anikan Murphy is entrant number 48. They hit the ring and Parrow chokes them out. Parrow wants another Twink, and here comes Devious Chas at number 49. MLJ says that the Twinks have been unleashed, and they attack Parrow. They try to take out Parrow, but he escapes and eliminates all four at once.

All the Twinks have been eliminated

Parrow takes Sleepy Ed and powerbombs him from the ring.

Sleepy Ed is eliminated

Classy Ali is entrant number 50. He puts his jacket and sunglasses on Parrow, but he throws him out of the ring.

Classy Ali has been eliminated

Sturdy Sal Musetti is out with his football at number 51. he throws the football to Parrow, who catches it, and it allows Sal to hit an overhead suplex. Sal charges Parrow again, but Parrow smacks him with the football and throws Sal out of the ring.

Sturdy Sal has been eliminated

Entrant number 52 gets Bonnie Tlyer’s I Need a Hero, and it’s Cereal Man! Cereal Man enters the ring and hits Parrow with a cereal box. He opens the box and empties the contents into the mouth of Parrow. Cereal Man with a big punch and he sprays cereal everywhere. Cereal Man takes off his costume and boy, did I think my physique was bad lol. Parrow eliminates him.

Cereal Man is eliminated

Nixi XS is back. She twists the titties of Parrow and takes him to the corner with a kiss and stomps. Nixi with a Meteora in the corner which she continues to work, but Parrow hits a short powerbomb. Parrow eliminates NiXi from the match.

Nixi XS is eliminated

Entrant number 53 is CPA! He won the Parrow Twink Gauntlet the day before, so Parrow might have vengeance on his mind. Everyone is losing their mind, including Parrow, who waves his hands like he just doesn’t care lol. CPA goes to take off his shirt, but Parrow says no shirt lol. He rips off his tie instead lol. CPA grabs it back, and he puts a tie on Parrow’s belt lol. DO MY TAXES chants, as Parrow batters CPA in the corner. Parrow hits a shoulder breaker and waves someone else to come out.

Bear Bronson is entrant number 54! Bronson and Parrow go face-to-face. Scoop slam by Parrow, but Bronson flips him off and says fuck you before hitting a Blackhole Slam. Entrant number 55 is Gabby Forza, complete with her cone hat. Bronson feeds Parrow to Forza, who hits a SPEAR! Forza scoop slams Bronson on top of Parrow, and together, they eliminate Parrow!

Parrow is eliminated

Gabby and Bronson kiss in the middle of the ring! Bronson tries to eliminate her, but Forza hits the Jackhammer on Bronson and he is eliminated!

Bear Bronson is eliminated

In all the confusion, Hollywood Hailey J is still alive. She shoves her title belt in Gabby’s face, and she takes her out. Entrant number 56 is 25 Cent! Gee, I have NO idea who he is supposed to be named after lol. Hailey leans in so Cent can slap him, but she slaps him instead. Cent rolls up Hailey for the pin!

Hollywood Hailey J is eliminated

The real Jimmy Lloyd is entrant number 57. Lloyd takes a chair into the ring, and he gets on his knees to be at face level with Cent. Cent with strikes, but Lloyd kicks him in the face. Michinoku Driver from Lloyd eliminates Cent.

25 Cent is eliminated

The first Jimmy Lloyd is back, and he does mirror movements with the second Jimmy. The real Jimmy smashes the fake Jimmy with a chair to the head and hits a sit-down Driver for the pin.

Not Jimmy Lloud is eliminated

HEATH SLATER is here entrant number 58. Slater lays into Lloyd and scores a quick pin.

“We Think” Jimmy Lloyd is eliminated

Mullet Man is entrant number 59. Mullet Mania is running Wild, BROTHER! He enters the ring and Slater sidesteps him and hits a thrust kick. Slater lays in the shots, but Mullet Man MULLETS UP, BROTHER! Mullet Man with the big boot, but he misses the leg drop! Slater drops the leg proper, but he kicks out at two. Entrant number 60 is Tombstone Jesus. He hits the ring and attacks both men before eliminating Slater!

Heath Slater is eliminated

Mullet Man and TJ do the YOU spot back and forth before TJ lays in chops. Mullet Man turns the tables, but TJ charges Mullet Man in the corner. Hop toss and a stomp from TJ. Gabby returns to the ring and goes after TJ and puts him on the apron. Forza off the ropes and she SPEARS TJ to the floor!

Tombstone Jesus is eliminated

Mullet Man tries to attack Forza, but she lays him out. Shotzi is back and they eliminate the Mullet.

Mullet Man is eliminated

Vipress is out as entrant number 61. Vipress goes for Shotzi and kisses Shotzi! Gabby breaks this up and goes after Vipress. A lot of reversals occur before Vipress slides a small package in, but Forza kicks out at two. Vipress and Forza elbow one another, but Shotzi is back. They take out Gabby with double SUPERKICKS.

We’re not done yet, as entrant number 62 is Frank The clown! He has a mic. He says GCW has tried to embarrass him for a decade, and that ends tonight. No more 14-year-old Brodie Lees, no more invisible man, no more bullshit. He calls everyone virgins and says as of now, this is FTCGW. He wants all the ladies in the ring to join his group so they can burn this carny company to the ground. They all low blow Frank and they kick him on the mat.

Slade is out at number 63. He throws a trash can at Frank and kicks it and pins Frank to eliminate him.

Frank the Clown is dead

Slade goes on to attack all the ladies in the ring before entrant number 64 is here, and it’s The Production (Derek Dillinger and Katie Arquette). Slade goozles Dillinger, but Arquette spins him around and headbutts him, allowing Derek to attack him with his director’s sign. They take care of everyone else in the ring, and Arquette rolls CPA through into a splash from Dillinger, but that’s just a two. The Production take WAY too long talking shit, as Vipress, Forza, and CPA eliminate them.

The Production are eliminated

Tara Zap is entrant number 65. She grabs a chair from under the ring and threatens a stagehand with it before hitting the ring and smacking Slade with the chair. Forza goes after Tara, Gabby with the Gorilla Press, but Tara counters with a DDT.

Entrant number 66 is “Mr. Intensity” Toby Klein. Klein goes after Slade at ring side and then in the ring. Connor Claxton is entrant number 67. Connor has a chair with him, but he doesn’t actually use it. Claxton eliminates Tara with a sit-out driver.

Tara Zap is eliminated

According to MLJ, entrant number 68 is the final entrant, and its Dr. Redacted. Commentary says this is entrant number 69, but I counted 68 total. Whatever the case, Redacted has a barbwire table, and he puts Claxton through it. Klein takes advantage by pinning him.

Connor Claxton is eliminated

Apparently, the dude that Toby came out with, Billy Graham, is in the match, but no longer.

Billy Graham is eliminated

The Doctor hits Gabby in the head with a chair, and Slade eliminates her.

Gabby Forza is eliminated

Dr. Redacted just eliminated himself. Apparently, he was trying to get after Claxton.

Dr. Redacted is eliminated

And we’re down to Slade, CPA, Shotzi, and Vipress. CPA has removed a shirt, and he hits the 1099 to Slade! HOLY SHIT! Slade catches him with a kick, and then he slams Shotzi on top of CPA. Slade eliminates CPA.

CPA is eliminated

And Slade press slams Vipress out of the ring.

Vipress is eliminated

Slade has the chair and smacks Shotzi with is repeatedly. Slade tries a third chair shot, but Shotzi low bridges Slade to the apron and he hits the floor!

Slade is eliminated

WINNER: Shotzi Blackheart
TIME: 2:23:18
THOUGHTS: First of all, a heavy suspension of belief and reality is needed to get into a match like this, and a sense of humor certainly doesn’t hurt either. Having said all of that, it’s understandable why they call this a Clusterfuck, because that’s exactly how it was treated. Not only did GCW mine their own talent to compete in this match, but they pulled performers from all over the place to partake in this match. I appreciate how they try and make this match feel and look different, but at the end of the day, it was indeed, a clusterfuck.
RATING: ***3/4

Shotzi celebrates her victory by smashing the chair in the ring. And with that, we are done!

6.5

The final score: review Average

The 411

Joey Janela's The Immortal Clusterfuck was certainly a GCW run event, and you can take that however you please, but on a show with two matches and a metric ton of highlights in the middle (no wonder the show was listed at four hours and 44 minutes), it all comes down to how much you love Ultraviolent matches and Gauntlet style matches. If you love them, then this is for you, but if you don't, well, you probably won't care for it very much then. It was fine for what it was, nothing more, nothing less.