The Cult Of Personality Heat Report 11.16.07

First thing I want to do this week is say thanks to Scott Slimmer for the kind words he had for me in his Heat Report last week. Scott and I have both been on the site for almost the exact same amount of time, and it’s always nice to know you’re respected by your peers. I LOVE YOU TOO SCOTT!

Okay, before we dive right into this week’s episode, let’s hit the mailbag for some feedback from the Survivor Series feature. First, a correction from Jim Werndley:

Hello.
The column is good. However you said that after Test won the Immunity battle royal there was no real angle based on his being exempt from being fired. I seem to remember that there was a brief period where he did in fact commit dastardly deeds. He managed to upset The Rock, and they had a mini-feud which culminated in a match on Smackdown (more like a micro-feud then). Obviously this was another push for Test as by Vengeance the following month he was curtain jerking with Albert and Scotty 2 Hotty.

Keep up the good work.

I stand corrected. Ian C. Douglass has some questions for me:

Hey, Stu.

First of all, keep up the great work.

I want your opinion on something. The question on my mind is whether or not the WWE is making the best use of its licenses and trademarks – especially with respect to titles.

It dawned on me as I was on WWE Shopzone and saw the World Class Championship Wrestling DVD being sold along with a WCCW logo t-shirt. They WWE had a similar deal when they sold the AWA DVD, and it looks like they’re taking Dale Gagne(r) to court over the rights to the AWA name and original logo. The WWE seems to think that they own both.

Anyway, the point is that I think the WWE could build more interest in its titles by assigning different sets of rules toward winning each title… and also by giving some of the titles new names. For instance, it seems pretty logical that the ECW World Championship should ALWAYS be defended under hardcore rules.

The Tag Team Championships have been degraded by LOTS of things, but one reason in particular is the fact there are TWO sets of champions – The Raw champions and the Smackdown! champions. Just add a third belt to the Smackdown! belts – the younger of the two championships – and call it the SIX MAN tag team championship. You would resurrect part of the appeal of World Class Championship Wrestling/The Von Erich’s and you would also add more interest to the belts. Six man tags would become a Smackdown! exclusive. It’s also a great way to test market stables/factions to see which collections of wrestlers could draw ratings.

And finally, the money-in-the-bank ladder match would be better, in my opinion, if they used the Million Dollar Belt instead of a briefcase. That way, the winner gets an actual BELT to wear instead of a briefcase to carry around, and they would have to turn in the diamonds and gold for a shot at the REAL gold.

I’m just saying that if the WWE owns the rights to the names of WCW, AWA, ECW and WCCW/WCWA then they should really get full use out of them.

Please give me your opinion if you have time. Thanks.

I believe that WWE does own both names, the only time other than the Dale Gagner deal when I remember their being legal confusion over WWE’s rights to a name was when they were using the ECW name during the InVasion, and they didn’t own the name then, but they did get it later on. I like your ideas about making each of the championships unique in some way instead of just having two sets of titles, but the problem is that unless it fits into the (somewhat vanilla) definition of what WWE feels a title should be, they’re not going to pay much attention to it. Just look at the way the Cruiserweight Title and Women’s Title have been booked since, well, forever to see what I mean. As for using the Million Dollar Belt for Money In The Bank, I like the idea of their being something other than a briefcase, but the Million Dollar Belt in particular is just too closely associated with Ted Dibiase, so I don’t think that would work. Besides, the briefcase gives people a foreign object to hit people with.

One last thing before we get to this week’s episode, does anybody else think it’s ironic that Shelton Benjamin’s picture is the one being used for the past episodes of Heat? Not only is it kind of labeling him as “the past”, but it’s also kind of painting him as a Heat fixture, and that’s never good.

Carlito vs Gene Snitsky

Carlito looks really fucking happy on his way to the ring. As Snitsky comes down, Carlito gets this look on his face like “I gotta put THIS guy over?” Bell rings and Carlito goes to spit in Snitsky’s face, but Snitsky just tosses him into the corner and slams him, then drops a big elbow. Snitsky butterflies the arms, then goes for a snake eyes, but Carlito slips out the back and goes after Snitsky. Snitsky reverses a cross corner whip, but eats boot and Carlito gets a springboard dropkick for one. Unfortunately, he eats boot coming off the ropes again and Snitsky gets the Coat Hanger for the win in like two minutes. Welcome to Jobberville, Carlito. Population: YOU.

Winner: Gene Snitsky

Promo for Survivor Series and the Michaels-Orton match.

Heat’s Greatest Tag Team vs Two Jobbers

Okay, new rule: if the jobbers’ names don’t appear on screen, I’m not going to go out of my way to hunt them down, and I will just refer to them as Jobber. If they have a tag team partner, he will be referred to as Other Jobber, and so on. Shelton takes a side headlock and turns that into a wristlock, then converts that into an armbar. Jobber tries to whip Shelton into the ropes, but Shelton reverses and elbows him in the face. Tag to Haas and Jobber tags out to Other Jobber, but Haas whips him into the corner a couple of times and cranks on an armbar of his own. Haas takes Other Jobber down and starts dropping knees on the shoulder, then tags out to Shelton, who comes off the top with a knee to Other Jobber’s arm. Shelton with a shoulderbreaker, and Other Jobber tries fighting back, but Shelton gets a kick to the head and starts crossfacing the bitch. Shelton knocks him right back into the corner for the tag back out to Jobber who tries some token Jobber offense, but Shelton lands on his feet on a vertical suplex and gets a beckbreaker. Tag out to Haas who gets a hotshot on Jobber, and Shelton hits the Beverly Bros leapfrop, then Haas with a belly to back suplex for two and an overhead belly to back, then Shelton gets the T-Bone suplex for three.

Winners: Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas

Promo for Survivor Series and the Undertkaer-Batista Hell In A Cell match.

Match For Survivor Series World Tag Team Title Shot: Brian Kendrick & Paul London vs The Highlanders vs Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes

Why are Benjamin & Haas not in this match? This is my first chance to see Cody Rhodes wrestle, and my first reaction is “Wow, he’s in a lot better shape than his dad and brother!” Coach says Cody wants to impress Hardcore Holly in this match. Sure he does, he doesn’t want to get stiffed like every other rookie Hardcore’s gotten within five miles of. Robbie and London start, and Robbie with a knee to the head and rams London into the corner, then tags out to Rory. Rory whips London in, but London ducks a clothesline and hits a dropkick, inverted atomic drop, and a Frankensteiner. Standoff, and Rory tags out to Cody Rhodes. Here we go. Handshake and a lockup. Rhodes with a headlock and a takeover. London gets a legscissors and Cody kicks out to his feet. They repeat if two more times before Rhodes keeps the damn headlock. London fires him off into the ropes and Rhodes with a crossbody for two. Tag out to Kendrick and a double Japanese armdrag for two. Kendrick with a front facelock, Rhodes slams him off, but Kendrick takes an armbar coming down and holds onto Rhodes The Third. Kendrick whips Rhodes into the rope, leapfrog, but Rhodes reverses a hiptoss into one of his own, then swats off a Kendrick dropkick and another standoff. Rhodes takes a Russian and goes into a side headlock. Well, he knows how to wrestle. Wristlock and a tag out to Hardcore. Hardcore starts working Kendrick over with chops, but eats boot on a charge into the corner and Kendrick gets a high crossbody for two. Hardcore with a powerslam for two, cross corner whip, but misses another charge and Kendrick with a rollup for two. Kendrick with a crucifix for another two, and a big Frankensteiner for two, but Holly just kicks him in the gut. Kendrick reverses a whip by Hardcore and gets a dropkick, then Kendrick and London with a double clothesline to take Holly over the top. London misses a high crossbody to the outside, and Holly sends him back inside. Big vertical suplex by Holly for two. Tag out to Rory, who starts pounding away on London, and gets a falling forearm for two. Tag out to Robbie, and he starts working London over. Big headbutt gets two for Robbie and he starts pounding away again. Robbie gets another two, then goes to the rear chinlock. London tries fighting out, but Robbie smacks him back down and tags out to Rory who gets a surfboard with the knee in the back. London escapes and gets a sunset flip for two, but Rory with a double axhandle and starts whaling away on London again on the mat, then tags out to Robbie. Robbie with the usual for two. London starts fighting back, but Robbie takes a single leg into a front facelock. I’m really digging all this actual wrestling. London escapes that, but tag out to Rory who starts beating London up some more. I’m not giving it much detail because it is just brutal pounding, but Rory and Robbie look like they’re stiffing the crap out of London here. Back to the surfboard and then butterflies the arms again, but London back Rory into the ropes and gets an armdrag. Rory misses an elbowdrop and tags to Robbie, and he cuts London off from making the tag. However, London kicks away and tries to make the tag again, but Robbie pounds on him some more. London with a big kick and falls into the corner and tags to Rhodes, who comes in and starts going to town on Robbie. Big bulldog on Robbie for two. Rory comes in, but Kendrick with the Cactus clothesline over the top. Rhodes goes to go up top, but Hardcore tags himself in and hits the Alabama Slam on Robbie for the win, and Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes are going to challenge for the World Tag Team Title at Survivor Series on Sunday night.

Winners: Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes

I have to admit, I never really watched much Heat before taking the recapping gig, but I’m really enjoying how it’s a throwback to the old WWF Superstars style with a couple of squash matches and then a real match to close the show. I’m also really liking how much they’re obviously slowing down the in-ring style to make it a)less dangerous and b)more reminiscent of the pre-Attitude style. When I see guys catching their opponents in a Russian and really working them with front facelocks, say what you will, but I dig the old school, and I don’t mean Undertaker’s move. You can tell I haven’t been watching much WWE lately.

Anyway, fun show this week. Thanks again to everyone who’s been reading the Survivor Series feature, and I’ll see you all right back here next week. Peace.