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The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (3.27.1993)

January 31, 2016 | Posted by Adam Nedeff
Smoky Mountain Wrestling
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The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (3.27.1993)  

-Originally aired March 27, 1993.

-We’re in Sevierville, TN, at the elementary school again.

-Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Dr. Dutch Mantell. Dutch Mantell draws the Beat the Champ challenger: Bobby Eaton.

-So Riggins gets a mini-push and then goes right back to being a jobber. That’ll teach him. I’m not sure what, but it taught him something. Dutch is staying at the broadcast table for this one because the team can kick ass just fine without him.

-Golden launches Riggins WAY across the ring, and Riggins immediately tags in Lynn Fields. Stable stomps Fields and then works his knee, which sets up the Fuller leglock. Fields passes out from the pain immediately, which is fine because the Fuller leglock also works as a pinning combination, so the Stable gets the win that way.

-Bob Caudle talks to the Stable. They’re on their way to Pikeville, KY to kill people at Bluegrass Brawl.

-Lee darts into the ring and punches Santo into oblivion in very un-face-like fashion. Powerslam follows, and the Cancellation finishes.

-We go to Knoxville last weekend to see the Russian Revolver match between Kevin Sullivan and Brian Lee. The roll of the dice led to a Singapore spike match. Four boxes are placed in the corners of the ring and one of them contains a Singapore spike. Hopefully, we don’t screw this up and have David Penzer grab THAT, too.

-Nut shot by Lee. Sullivan realizes the wooden box itself can be used for a weapon, and he hits the palms of Lee’s hands really hard, which stuns him so fast it causes a nerve awareness disorder and Lee sells an injury to his face. Night Stalker tries to interfere, but Tim Horner makes it in time to brawl with him and hold him back, so things are even…but then another Sullivan henchman shows up. The referee tries to break everybody up while the henchman finds the spike and moves it to one of the empty boxes, for…a reason, I guess.

-And then Brian Lee gets the spike first anyway. He stabs Sullivan with it a few times, but Sullivan blinds him with a fireball and gets the three-count. God, the wheels are falling off this feud. Henchman interferes, it helps Lee, and then Sullivan wins anyway?

-Brian Matthews talks to Jim Cornette about Bluegrass Brawl. The Heavenly Bodies will win and fuck you Kentucky seems to be the gist of it.

-We go to “Central Park in New York City” where DWB has a loaded gun tucked in his pants so he can deal with muggers. DWB has a melon, a sack of dirt, and a sack of flour to form a facsimile of Tracy Smother’s body, plus some beer bottles because he hears that Tracy wrestles with a few of these in his system every time he wrestles, which is why he has a spotty win-loss record. DWB destroys each item one at a time with a chain, like a really hardcore version of David Letterman. The bag of flour and the beer bottle are particularly impressive visuals when he puts the chain to them. He basically slices the bottle in half.

-Smothers monkeyflips Daniels and applies a hammerlock. Armbar follows. Smothers connects with a flying forearm, and the jawjacker finishes. Dirty White Boy shows up and whips Smothers with the chain and chokes him out. Tim Horner, Dixie Dy-no-mite, and Reno Riggins come to the rescue, and since Riggins lost earlier, he’s due for some success, so White Boy gets out of the ring.

-Bob Caudle talks to Tracy Smothers, who says that just like a yankee, DWB has to attack people from behind. Friday night at Bluegrass Brawl, he’s going to kick some dirty white ass, which could probably be handled with some two-ply Charmin.

-They finally pay off the “Dr. Dutch” nickname from the past few weeks by revealing that Dutch got his degree in psychology, so he tapes an interview with Kevin Sullivan in the ring, in an empty, dark venue, and examines him. He feels persecuted by SMW and he wants to be a nice guy. They go match through match over all of the options in the Russian Revolver match. Side note: I feel like Russian Revolver match would be more effective if they did it as a two-out-of-three falls match somehow. Scatter three matches throughout the night so you can still do stuff like “Texas Death Match” or “Stretcher match,” but you can do a big plot twist in the third fall with the babyface getting his specialty match or something like that.

-Commissioner Armstrong hard-sells the Smoky Mountain street fight this Friday night. Arn Anderson wears a Four Horsemen shirt and reminds everybody that the symbol wasn’t just something that looked cool. It was a mission statement, and the Horsemen delivered over and over again. Arn Anderson tells a story about getting his heart broken by a girl in St. Louis and continuing to date. “The more I get hurt, the more I like it.” And that means the fact that he’s wrestling with a bad knee is just going to make him like dishing out pain even more. “If any of the six other guys wanna bow out, please do. The life you save could be your own.”

BEAT THE CHAMP TV TITLE: “White Lightning” TIM HORNER (Champion) vs BEAUTIFUL BOBBY EATON (with Jim Cornette)
-Side headlock by Bobby Eaton, and Corny grabs a ringside photographer and badgers her to get a perfect shot of Bobby applying the hold. She gets the photo, at which point Cornette immediately yells at her for being too close and tells her to go away.

-Boston crab by Eaton. He gets free and goes to the arm while Bob Caudle says that Commissioner Armstrong will have an announcement in the next few weeks about the legality of the three-man version of the Heavenly Bodies.

-Horner applies a figure four. Cornette whaps Horner with the tennis racquet to break the hold. Eaton chokes Horner and goes for a slingshot suplex. Horner lands on his feet and presses Eaton against the ropes (with Mark Curtis leapfrogging to get out of their way), going for a sunset flip, and Cornette takes another shot with the tennis racquet, and that one dazes Horner long enough for a three-count. Bobby Eaton is YOUR new television champion.

-Brian Lee awkwards his way through a promo for Bluegrass Brawl, the words sputtering out of his mouth like a stickshift exiting an icy tunnel. Turn this guy and give him a mouthpiece already.

-The Bodies “celebrate” Eaton’s win, although Tom Pritchard seems irked.

The final score: review Not So Good
The 411
I liked the main event and the Dirty White Boy skit, but the Sullivan/Lee feud just grows murkier by the day and leaves me hoping Bluegrass Brawl is an actual blow-off for it, because the thought of even one more week of it gives me gas.