World Wrestling Federation from Boston Garden (9.6.1986) Review

SIVI AFI vs. PETE DOHERTY
-Bizarre pre-match commentary from Gorilla and Alfred, mentioning that Sivi Afi has asked to be called Toma from now on, and that he’s forming a tag team with Haku. So either plans changed or somebody’s drunk.

-They trade bodyslams and then Afi takes control with chops and a Wattskick. He takes a second shot at it and dropkicks Doherty out of the ring. Doherty paces around the ring, grinning like a madman while he stalls. Back in, he shoulderblocks Afi but runs right into a backdrop. Running headbutt gets two. Afi tries a chinlock. Doherty bites Afi’s ear and whips him into the corner. Doherty misses the charge and does a sick bump from it, landing straight on his head and neck on impact, and even Gorilla & Alfred can’t hide their disgust at the way it looked.

-Afi slams Doherty and then goes upstairs. Bodypress connects for three. That was actually a surprisingly energetic, decent match. 1 for 1.

U.S. EXPRESS vs. HART FOUNDATION
-Foundation is just great at the start, acting surprised at every pre-match instruction the referee gives, and when the bell sounds, Anvil straddles the rope instead of completely exiting the ring, just to irritate the Express.

-Brett (at least I think he’s still spelling it that way at this point) starts with Rotundo and immediately winds up on the wrong end of an armbar. They have an awesome exchange in the corner that’s too fast to call, and Rotundo slingshots Brett into Spivey’s boots to daze him.

-Spivey tags in and clamps on a side headlock, which has Neidhart hilariously flipping out for no reason in the corner. Brett goes off the ropes and tries a leapfrog, but he severely underestimates Spivey’s height and…uh…Brett needs out of the ring right now. Anvil tags in while Brett walks off the pain.

-Spivey shoulderblocks Anvil and Anvil sells it by laughing and pointing at Spivey, which the crowd pops like crazy for. Crowd is a perfect 50/50 split for this match and their energy is off the charts.

-Another shoulderblock and suddenly Anvil’s not laughing. Beal throw by Spivey and he applies a toehold. Brett runs in to break the hold, and the Express decides that if the Harts will cheat, so will they, so when the referee chases Brett back to the apron, the Express switches without a tag. Referee asks the crowd if a tag was made and the crowd sides with the Express. Alfred points out that Neidhart called the referee an idiot earlier on and suspects that the referee doesn’t care what the Express does at this point.

-Harts are laying a beating on Spivey. Harts take turn choking out Spivey while the referee gets distracted by Rotundo. Alfred says that the US Express showed some inexperience by being detracted, which made them susceptible to a hot spot.

-What?

-Rotundo tags in, knocks Brett off the apron, and uses Neidhart’s goatee to snap his jaw. Neidhart avoids a corner charge and now Rotundo’s in trouble. Decapitator gets two. Chinlock by Neidhart as both teams are now just switching off at will without tagging. Gorilla voices an opinion that tag team matches should have two referees. The man eventually became President of the WWF and never followed through on campaign promise #1.

-Brett gives Rotundo a hard knee from the apron and the crowd pops. If there’s one thing Boston wrestling fans can be total hipsters about, it’s that they were the first city in America to notice that the Harts were something special. They ALWAYS got a big pop in Boston, even in their heel bottom-of-the-card filler days.

-Rotundo gets caught in the wrong corner but manages to fight off both opponents and lunges forward even though he’s trapped in a bearhug.

-Back from another break, the Harts block a hot tag and Rotundo winds up on the floor. Back in, another hot tag is blocked, and then they do the false hot tag, because why not. Brett charges and runs into a boot as everybody in Boston continues to have the worst luck with corner charges. Rotundo rams the Harts into each other and finally makes his tag. Spivey rams the Harts into each other and FINALLY connects with a corner charge. Bulldog ALMOST finishes, but wouldn’t you know it? The time limit expires. Oh my GOD that was a damn near perfect tag team bout. 2 for 2.

INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE: RANDY “Macho Man” SAVAGE (Champion, with Elizabeth) vs. GEORGE “The Animal” STEELE
-Steele hits the ring and Savage has the title belt cocked and ready to smack him across the face, but Steele jut slams him and heaves him over the top rope and onto the commentary table. Steele immediately declares himself the champion and dares Savage to take the belt from him, but before we can build anything from that idea, the referee just grabs the belt and takes it away from both men. Boo.

-Steele gives chase and Savage uses Elizabeth as a human shield for a moment, but he gets distracted by yelling at her, so Steele finally gets his hands on Savage and brings him into the ring, choking him and bulldog-ramming him into a turnbuckle. Savage is so overwhelmed that he already goes into the tights and pulls out a Steele-style foreign object. Steele takes shaking it off, so Savage goes for the aerial attack, and an axehandle gets two. Steele kicks out so hard that he launches Savage through the ropes and onto the floor, and Savage crawls under the ring and emerges on the other side for a sneak assault.

-Savage tries a clothesline, but Steele counters him by chomping on his arm. Savage sends him over the top rope and Steele fetches a chair and they battle over that. Both men end up on the floor and Savage rams Steele into a barricade, knocking it over. Steele heaves two more chairs into the ring and whacks Savage with one hard enough to send him to the floor. Referee calls for the bell, and Savage just gets the hell out of there the moment he hears that bell. 3 for 3. It was short, but one thing I have to say, for a pair of guys who were undeniably a style clash, they seemed to have fun in there together. Post-match, Savage runs at 100 MPH back to the ring with the foreign object in his hand again. Steele just smacks it out of his hand, and Savage just U-turns and hauls ass back to the locker room. Heel Savage was FANTASTIC. Steele consoles himself by munching on a turnbuckle, and since he’s distracted by that, Savage tries ushering to the ring again for a sneak attack, and Steele just beats the hell out of him all the way back to the locker room. Again, not a technical masterpiece. Not even close, but it was exactly what pro wrestling ought to be–FUN. Speaking of which, post-match, Savage brings a little kid in from the crowd and teaches him how to eat a turnbuckle, and the commentators are just having a hell of a time watching this. I hope this kid never fell out of love with wrestling and still watches it.

PEDRO MORALES vs. RENE GOULET
-Goulet’s career is winding down, as he’s not even wearing his glove anymore, and he is now clean-shaven and is pretty unmistakably the guy who stepped in to separate brawls three years later.

-Side headlock applied by Pedro, and yeah, Goulet’s career is definitely winding down because the commentators are just burying the crap out of the poor guy, noting that he hasn’t won a match in at least a year, and he recently shed 25 pounds and it didn’t appear to do him a damn bit of good and he shows no sign of improvement.

-Goulet wrings the arm. Morales reverses but Goulet shows a little fire and throws him to the floor. Goulet goes to the top rope and teases a flying elbow, and the crowd does not give a crap. Gorilla even laughs at him for suggesting it.

-Boston Garden is buzzing in eager anticipation for the end of this match. Morales keeps trying to get back into the ring and Goulet blocks every attempt. Morales finally makes it back in and shows some signs of life. Goulet targets the eyes to block a comeback. Morales gets a backdrop and an atomic drop for two, but then Pedro rolls up Goulet for three. 3 for 4. So there was that.

BIG MACHINE & SUPER MACHINE vs. KING KONG BUNDY & BIG JOHN STUDD (with Bobby Heenan)
-Giant Machine isn’t in the corner, and this whole premise is just dead in the water when Andre isn’t there. Bundy tries a sneak attack to start, but it goes horribly wrong, and then goes horribly wrong when the Machines legit can’t get him in the air for a bodyslam spot. They slam Studd successfully though, so Heenan is out another $15,000.

-Referee gets the teams in order. Studd and Bundy gang up on Super Machine, but he fights back with rapid-fire punches, almost in the style of some sort of ax. Bundy tags in and tries an avalanche just to finish this immediately, but Super gets out of the way and elbows him down. Everybody tags and Big Blackjack Machine slugs it out with Studd. Super tags in and 100% does the kind of offense he would do when he became Ax. Studd manages to stun him with an elbow. Studd holds Super up so Bundy can clothesline him, and if you’ve watched wrestling at all, you know how that goes. The match comes to an SNME-style dead stop as the heels get into a shouting match and Bobby Heenan has to intervene and calm his boys down. The big boys make peace and whatever Heenan says, it worked, because before long Super is writhing on the mat and Studd & Bundy are stomping their own respective mudholes.

-All four men end up in the ring and we have a donnybrook. Super and Bundy brawl on the floor, but in the ring, Big wallops Studd with an elbow that appears to knock him cold, and that looks like the end of the match, but Heenan runs in and breaks the pin, and dazes Big so badly while doing it that he appears to be using a weapon. Referee calls for the DQ. 3 for 5. Super and Bundy were game but the other two didn’t do anything for me. Post-match, Bobby Heenan is feeling so cocky about holding his own against the Machines that he grabs the mics and offers to get in the ring with his men for a six-man match, if the Machines want to find another guy to join them. So now we’re just pretending Andre doesn’t exist, period.

CORPORAL KIRCHNER vs. KING HARLEY RACE
-Odd entrance, as Race comes to the ring wearing his cape as usual, but he’s hatless. Repeat, hatless.

-Hiptoss by Race, and he’s feeling so cocky that he takes his sweet-ass time doing anything else. He pays for it immediately, as Kirchner just springs up and armdrags him around. GREAT strength move by Kirchner, who lifts Race completely off the mat with just an armbar and slams him back down. Race makes the ropes to break and tries a suplex, but Kirchner lands on his feet and slams him. He armdrags Race back into the armbar, and the commentators are just driving a bulldozer over Kirchner on commentary, expressing surprise that Race is having such trouble against a “Johnny-come-lately” and saying that this match lends credence to the criticism that Race hand-picks his opponents. DAMN.

-Kirchner charges and Race ducks, sending Kirchner out to the floor. Brainbuster on the concrete, which is a crazy spot that Race did with Lanny Poffo in MSG, and it baffles me because you can do a MAJOR angle with that and that’s twice now that I’ve seen Race do it as just-a-typical-move. Gorilla even fumfers for a way to explain how Kirchner moved his arm just in time to weaken the impact of the move because it’s just absolutely not feasible that he’s even still alive.

-Kirchner mounts a comeback, slapping Race so hard that he falls over the top rope. Race tries to get back into the ring and we get a funny spot where Kirchner gives him a right hand on the apron and Race just sprawls out and tumbles slooooooooowly down the steps and back down to the floor. Race tries climbing the ropes to get back in, but he gets slammed off. Kirchner goes in for the kill with a forearm, but Race rolls out of the way. They collide on a shoulderblock and both men are woozy now.

-They battle for a suplex, with Kirchner winning but only getting two with a lazy cover. Sleeper by Kirchner is broken by a low blow. Race headbutts Kirchner through the ropes and Kirchner hits the table in his way out. Race comes out to try to finish him off, but Kirchner just rams him into the table and springs back into the ring. Race makes it back in time and clothesline Kirchner down. Elbow gets two. Kirchner keeps fighting back but Race keeps finding a way to counter and they end up on the floor. Kirchner heads to the top rope to try to finish it, but Race rolls through the impact of the bodypress and rolls him up for three. This was an unexpectedly GREAT match, as Race just let it all hang out for the expected squash match, and both guys turned it into one hell of a fight. 4 for 6.

COUSIN LUKE vs. COWBOY BOB ORTON
-Orton misses a corner charge, but Luke’s connects. He follows with a double axehandle for two. Gorilla notes that Luke used to wrestle barefoot, but he’s now upgraded to sneakers and that seems to have improved his technique.

-Bearhug by Luke as ringside audio technician Nelson Sweglar calls this match for Cousin Luke. Gorilla says it’s a losing bet. Orton is able to break the hold and drops Luke with a series of punches. Luke fights back with Polish hammers to Orton’s ears. Hard Irish whip by Luke and he follows with a charge, but this time, Orton is ready for him and raises the knee, and Luke quite convincingly takes a hard shot and drops, and Orton gets an easy win. This was surprisingly good for a four-minute foregone conclusion and felt like a decent TV feature match. 5 for 7.

TAG TEAM TITLE: BRITISH BULLDOGS (Champions) vs. NIKOLAI VOLKOFF & IRON SHEIK (with Slick)
-Ring looks like a dumpster by the time Nikolai is finished singing, and Slick gives this white reviewer a hilarious look at what an afro combined with hat hair looks like.

-Davey Boy starts with Sheiky Baby while Gorilla notes that the only belt in the WWF that Sheik hasn’t held is the Tag Team Title, because he previously held the World Title and the Tag Team Title.

-What?

-Sheik gets hiptossed and slammed. Dynamite tags in and works the arm, but winds up eating Volkoff’s boot. Sheik tosses Dynamite to the floor and Volkoff pounces, sending him into the post. Back inside, a backdrop by Sheik gets two. Volkoff tags in and goes to work on the torso , but Dynamite gets a lucky tag and Davey Boy shocks Volkoff by applying a bearhug and lifting him with it. Sheik tries to break the hold but Davey spins around so Sheik hits his own partner.

-Sheik tags in properly and immediately takes control with a gutwrench. Camel clutch looks to finish, but Dynamite breaks it. Davey Boy cradles Sheik out of nowhere. Volkoff reverses it behind the referee’s back, and then Dynamite reverses it back, and Davey Boy gets the three count to retain. 6 for 8 just for the part after the match where a fan throws garbage at Slick, Slick sees exactly which fan did it, and HITS THE KID WITH HIS CANE.

7.5

The final score: review Good

The 411

That was an unexpectedly strong show. Thumbs up!