100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA Operation: Big Freeze

Williamsport, PA – 3.12.2011

Commentary is provided by Bryce Remsburg, UltraMantis Black, Gavin Loudspeaker, and Leonard F. Chikarason.

Claudio Castagnoli is backstage. Pinkie Sanchez approaches Castagnoli, saying that he can not find BDK member Lince Dorado anywhere. Claudio says since Lince isn’t here, he’s out of the group. Tim Donst steps in to take Dorado’s place, telling Claudio he can handle two matches in one night. Claudio looks confident in his two men. We then cut to Da Soul Touchaz, who say they’re finishing their war with the BDK tonight.

Da Soul Touchaz (Marshe Rockett & Acid Jaz) vs. Die Brüderschaft des Kreuzes (Tim Donst & Pinkie “Pink Ant” Sanchez)

Donst uses Jaz’s bandana to bring him down to the mat in a headlock. Jaz reverses the headlock and takes Donst down as well. Rockett tags in and chops and punches Donst in the corner. Donst whips Rockett to the corner. Rockett comes out and schoolboys Donst for two. Sanchez tags in and gets right in Rockett’s face. Rockett chops him down and hits a flapjack. Rockett follows up with a powerslam. Rockett wheelbarrows Jaz and drops him onto Sanchez. Sanchez gives Jaz a flurry of strikes and applies a chinlock in the ropes. Jaz connects with a knee strike but Sanchez knocks him down with a clothesline. Sanchez and Donst cut the ring in half and gang up on Jaz. Jaz comes back by evading a yakuza kick and suplexing Sanchez overhead. Donst pulls Sanchez out of the ring to tag himself in. Jaz knocks him down with a right hand and tags in Rockett. He sends Donst to the apron and hits a dangling DDT. Sanchez attacks Rockett from behind, so Jaz throws Sanchez out. Donst schoolboys Rockett and puts his feet on the ropes to score the pin at 7:28. Solid match to open the show and further the BDK/Soul Touchaz feud. **

Madison Eagles comes to the ring. She says that she came to CHIKARA to wrestle the best female talent, and did so when she beat Sara Del Rey last month. Now she says she’ll be facing one of the best female Japanese talents in Toshie Uematsu tonight.

Madison Eagles vs. Toshie Uematsu

Isn’t it the best when the fans chant “USA” in a match that contains no US competitors? Eagles teases Uematsu with a test of strength since she is significantly taller than Uematsu. Uematsu and Eagles then go to the mat where they vie for control. Eagles stomps down on Uematsu’s knees for a two count. She pulls Uematsu’s heels over her neck to apply more pressure to her knees. Uematsu bites Eagles’ inner thigh to escape. Uematsu kicks her leg some more before applying a Camel Clutch. Eagles flips her over and stretches out Uematsu’s arms and back out across her knee. Eagles’ kicks her down and steps on Uematsu’s back while stretching her arms back. Eagles transitions into a Cattle Mutiliation. Uematsu escapes and chokes Eagles. Uematsu boot scrapes the side of Eagles head and applies a figure four leg lock while doing curls off the ring apron to apply more pressure. Uematsu gets in a few strikes back on her feet. Eagles drops her with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a double underhook suplex for two. Uematsu kicks Eagles’ leg out and dropkicks her in the ribs. Uematsu face washes Eagles before hitting her with a running kick to the face. She uses the ol’ Three Stooges nose grab to mock Eagles. Uematsu applies a Boston Crab. Eagles powers out but Uematsu reapplies the hold immediately. She transitions into a half crab while biting Eagles’ knee cap. Eagles escapes and kicks out Uematsu’s leg. She kicks Uematsu in the neck and hits a sliding knee strike. Eagles comes off the second rope with a clothesline for two. Uematsu escapes a brainbuster and taunts Eagles. She brings Eagles to the floor in a chase. Uematsu hits a running dropkick to the floor. She hits a top rope dropkick and a top rope splash for two. Uematsu small packages Eagles for two. Eagles gets her boots up to block a top rope attack. She hits the brainbuster for two. Eagles avoids another dropkick through the ropes but Uematsu takes her down with a huracanrana to score the pin at 14:34. This was an excellent match, featuring great back and forth from both women. I had never seen Uematsu before, but she certainly brought a lot to the table. Her and Eagles meshed really well and were able to get the crowd into the bout. Most of the womens matches lately have been fine, but this really stood out as something unique. ***1/4

Eddie Kingston comes out to address the crowd. He says tonight he’s supposed to fight “The Band” which he is clueless about. He then mentions he has to face Claudio Castagnoli tomorrow night in Brooklyn, which brings Claudio out. While Kingston is distracted, Tim Donst, Pinkie Sanchez, Sara Del Rey, and Tursas attack him from behind. Claudio slams Kingston and Tursas gives him a big splash. Claudio says he is going to destroy Kingston then leaves with the rest of the BDK. Kingston gets up and demands Claudio comes back out to continue their fight.

Instead of Claudio, The Band comes out. The Band consists Archibald Peck (dressed like a drum major) and Veronica (dressed like a member of the color guard). Peck grabs the microphone from Kingston. Peck says that Kingston is from the streets and is a thug, so he should know what they say about prison: it’s in your best interest on your first night in to pick on the biggest dog in the yard. Peck introduces himself and slaps Kingston in the face. Kingston responds by giving him an exploder suplex. Peck goes to the floor and Kingston follows. Veronica distracts Kingston long enough for Peck to regain control. He throws Kingston into the apron and the ring post. They both get in the ring and the bell rings.

Eddie Kingston vs. Archibald Peck

Peck steps on Kingston and goes for an early pin. Peck gives him a couple headbutts and a flurry of punches. Peck cranks on Kingston’s neck. Peck comes back with a flipping DDT. Peck comes off the second rope with an axe handle for two. Peck stomps Kingston down in the corner. Kingston then lights up Peck with chops in the corner. Peck comes off the second rope and gets met with an STO. Kingston takes him over with a suplex for two. Peck retaliates with a leg lariat for two. Peck hits the Play of the Day and heads up top. He hits a flying headbutt for two. Peck hits an enzuigiri. Kingston gives him a few elbow strikes. Peck flips over the corner and to the apron ala Ric Flair. Kingston throws Peck off the top rope. Peck ducks the Backfist to the Future, but Kingston catches him the second time and gets the pin at 5:03. I am all in on The Band. You could say I’m on the Bandwagon! *cue crickets* They entertained me with their goofy entrance and Peck showed a diverse and unique variety of offense. If that’s what he can do in five minutes, I look forward to seeing what he can do in an longer bout. **1/2

3.0. are hanging out backstage. Matthews says last month he wanted to have some fun with the UnStable. He apologizes for costing them their match against the Throwbacks, but are not happy that The UnStable cost him and Jagged their third point that same night. Jagged cuts a Hawk-esque promo with a “Boo Ya!” to end the segment. The two teams of four for the next match make their entrance. The UnStable come out in street clothes asking The Roughnecks (their partners) where their ring gear is. We soon find out where it is, as 3.0. come out wearing The UnStable’s gear. Jagged even put on eyeliner (in a very shoddy manner) to mock Vin Gerard even further. This feud just got another wrinkle added to it.

The Throwbacks (Dasher Hatfield & Sugar Dunkerton) & 3.0. (Scott “Jagged” Parker & Shane Matthews) vs. The UnStable (Vin Gerard & STIGMA) & The Roughnecks (Brodie Lee & Grizzly Redwood)

The Throwbacks and Roughnecks brawl on the floor while The UnStable and 3.0. brawl inside the ring. The Roughnecks and UnStable switch places. The Roughnecks send 3.0. to the floor and in come The Throwbacks. They throw The Roughnecks out and in come The UnStable. Hatfield takes STIGMA down with an armdrag. Hatfield sends STIGMA to the floor with a wheelbarrow armdrag. Redwood and Matthews comes in. Redwood hits some forearms. Matthews and Jagged hit a Samoan Drop/neckbreaker combo. They take down Lee with some tandem offense. Gerard and Dunkerton tag in. Dunkerton plays with Gerard’s cell phone that he brought in with him. Dunkerton then places Gerard’s shirt over his face. He gets punched by Shane Matthews and spun around. He tags in Jagged by accident and gets punched in the face again. Dunkerton hits a trifecta of punches to knock Gerard down. Dunkerton brings in a basketball since Gerard isn’t dressed to wrestle. The tip off sees Lee and Dunkerton face off. Lee gives Dunkerton a throat thrust as Dunkerton comes down from the jump. The Rudos attack the Tecnicos and another brawl ensues. Things come down to Lee and Jagged in the ring, where Lee takes Jagged down with the Truck Stop. Jagged gets beat down until he catches Lee with a tornado DDT. Hatfield tags in and fights off the UnStable by himself. Lee launches Redwood into Hatfield and then nails Hatfield with a lariat for two. Hatfield gets mauled by the Rudos in their corner. Hatfield escapes by throwing Lee and Redwood’s heads together. Matthews gets tagged in and takes Lee down with a headscissors. Jagged gives Lee three running knee strikes for two. The UnStable bring 3.0. to opposite corners and lay in some strikes. STIGMA German suplexes Jagged for two. Gerard pops up Jagged into a German suplex from STIGMA for two. Hatfield sends Gerard to the floor. Dunkerton knocks STIGMA down with a clothesline but then eats a big boot from Lee. Redwood puts Hatfield on his shoulders and Lee dropkicks him down for two. Gerard trips Jagged. STIGMA trips Jagged and brings him to the floor to block Jagged and Matthews from giving Gerard the Sweet Taste of Professionalism. Gerard tries a prawn hold, but Matthews sits down on it and pins Gerard at 14:19. This was all over the place, but in a way it worked. The meshing of the two feuds worked and proved that a lot of these guys have their best work in multi-man matches. It certainly was a great way to build up to both tag matches tomorrow night. **3/4

Icarus discusses topics from the 90’s claiming they’re “hot” today. He also notes that he’s on a hot streak, and plans to continue his hot streak with Fire Ant. I get it! Icarus says he has not forgotten that Fire Ant was the guy who cost him his hair. Icarus says we will see “fire extinguished” tonight.

Fire Ant vs. Icarus

Icarus controls Fire Ant’s arm at the start. Icarus tries a backslide for two. Icarus grabs the ropes to break a wristlock. Fire Ant and Icarus do some Lucha before Fire Ant takes Icarus down with a fireman’s carry. Icarus rolls to the floor. He evades a baseball slide, but Fire Ant pops off the apron into an armdrag. In the ring, Icarus catches Fire Ant with a gutbuster as Fire Ant comes off the top with a crossbody. Icarus hops onto Fire Ant’s neck and follows out to the floor. Fire Ant whips Icarus to the corner and hits a flying antzuigiri. Icarus charges out with a spear. Icarus suplexes Fire Ant for two. He does so again, twice. Fire Ant comes off the second rope wiith a sunset flip for two. He hits the Yahtzee kick and a backdrop. He follows up with a brainbuster for two. Fire Ant blocks the Blu-Ray. Fire Ant blocks the Shiranui with a stunner. He wheelbarrows into a DDT for two. Fire Ant connects with an antzuigiri and goes for the Beach Break. Icarus escapes and hits the EVO for two. Icarus hits the Shiranui for two. Icarus gets two with a La Magistral cradle. Icarus gets into an argument with referee Jon Barber. This allows Fire Ant to hit a high crossbody for the pin at 9:20. This picked up during the middle, but the beginning and end left a little to be desired. Solid action from these two, but they certainly showed a lot more in Colony/F.I.S.T. tag and trios matches. **1/2

Sinn Bodhi is backstage. He says that he and The Batiri will win the King of Trios, and the crowning moment will see him standing over UltraMantis Black victorious.

The Osirian Portal (Amasis, Ophidian, & Hieracon) vs. Sinn “Kizarny” Bodhi & The Batiri (Obariyon & Kodama)

Batiri member Kobald accompanies his team to the ring. Amasis does a little dancing to reverse Kizarny’s offense. Amasis’ clotheslines have no effect. Kizarny does a tango with Amasis which Amasis doesn’t appreciate. He splashes Kizarny in the corner for two. Ophidian and Kodama tag in. They trade pin attempts but fail to gain the the victory. Ophidian rolls Kodama around into a Gedo Clutch for two. Ophidian backslides Kodama for two. Ophidian leans back onto Kodama’s back while locking his legs around Kodama’s arms. Ophidian rolls into a modified Anaconda Vice. Kodama escapes and Ophidian headstands into a headbutt for two. Hieracon tags in and double teams Kodama with Ophidian. Obariyon tags in and trades armdrags with Hieracon. Hieracon lands a headbutt and a dropkick before tagging Amasis in. They hit a nice succession of moves for a two count. Kobald trips Amasis into a knee strike from Obariyon for two. The Dark Army isolate Amasis in their corner. Ophidian comes in as Amasis hits the floor, but Kizarny immediately sends him out. Amasis continues to get pummeled until Amasis gives Kodama a spinebuster. Ophidian flies in with double knees to Obariyon. Hieracon sends Obariyon out with a top rope dropkick. Ophidian brings in Kizarny. Kizarny takes Ophidian down. Hieracon drops him with a stunner and a DDT. Ophidian follows up with a quebrada for two. The Batiri throw Hieracon and Ophidian to the corner. Hieracon uses Ophidian to hypnotize The Batiri and Kizarny. “Thriller” by Michael Jackson hits. The Batiri and Kizarny stalk The Osirian Portal ringside, twitching like the undead people in the “Thriller” music video. They stalk them back into the ring and begin doing the Thriller dance along with The Portal. The Portal break the hypnosis spell. Hieracon moonsaults onto Obariyon and Kodama on the floor. Kobald crotches Ophidian on the top rope, and the referee calls for the disqualification at 14:49. This was a fun trios match up until the lame finish. Kizarny really does bring a lot to the Dark Army both in terms of charisma and in the ring. The Portal were their usual fun selves and certainly have to be considered one of the top runners for King of Trios. **3/4

Willie “da Bomb” Richardson vs. Tursas

Tursas brings Richardson to the corner. He hits a few elbows. Richardson reverses and lays in some punches. Richardson elbows Tursas on the top of his head. Tursas blocks a slam and forearms Richardson on his back. Tursas and Richardson hit each other with chops. Richardson pokes Tursas in the eyes when his chops prove worthless. Tursas goes to Richardson’s eyes in response. Tursas hits a dropkick and drops an elbow for two. Richardson tries a slam but Tursas falls on top of him for a two count. Richardson moves to avoid a second rope splash. Tursas stays standing as Richardson tries some shoulder blocks. A flying shoulder tackle takes Tursas off his feet for the first time in the match. BDK ring announcer Jakob Hammermeier grabs Richardson’s foot. Tursas hits a crossbody for the pin at 5:42. This was a good idea in execution, but it wasn’t as interesting or epic as I think they wanted it to come off. Doing this match in front of a brand new crowd may not have been the best decision. ¼*

Mike Quackenbush & Incoherence (Hallowicked & Frightmare) vs. Die Brüderschaft des Kreuzes (Claudio Castagnoli, Sara Del Rey & Tim Donst)

Donst and Frightmare start off. Frightmare slides through Donst’s legs, bringing in Hallowicked. He hits a step-up enzuigiri in the corner. Claudio throws Hallowicked to the floor. Quack flies in with a springboard huracanrana. He tries a wheelbarrow but Claudio slams him face first to the mat. Sara comes in and Quack throws Claudio into her. He sends Claudio to the floor with a headscissors. Sara cuts off Quack’s dive with a boot. Quack elbows her out. Donst cuts off Quack’s dive but Quack pokes Donst in the eyes and tags in Hallowicked. The BDK try to trap Hallowicked, but Donst accidentally hits overhand chops his partners intead. Quack flies in with a crossbody. Quack also escapes being trapped and Donst chops Sara and Claudio again. Hallowicked and Quack chop Sara and Claudio, and Frightmare flies in with a crossbody. Donst accidentally is chopped by Sara and Claudio. Incoherence dispose of Sara and Claudio. Hallowicked yakuza kicks Donst into a neckbreaker from Frightmare for two. Sara and Claudio bring Quack and Hallowicked to opposite corners. Quack and Hallowicked dropkick Claudio and Sara into each other and slam their bodies together as well. Quack and Hallowicked trap them in a rowboat stretch. Donst gets in the middle and gives Frightmare a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker before breaking the submission. Frightmare gets bullied by the BDK as they keep him away from Quack and Hallowicked. Frightmare rolls out of the ring to bring in Quack. Claudio press slams Quack neck first on the top rope. Quack now gets mauled by the BDK. Quack rolls out of the ring after Sara hits a German suplex to bring in Hallowicked. He has his eyes on Donst due to their past issues. Hallowicked’s distraction allows Sara to hit him with the Cappo Kick. Hallowicked gets beaten down while Donst mocks Hallowicked’s teammates. Quack charges in and knocks Donst down. Claudio and Sara get knocked down next to him. Both Quack and Frightmare hit dives onto the BDK team. They get sent to the floor with triple dropkick and then get taken down with a trifecta of dives. Back in the ring, Claudio pops-up Frightmare but Hallowicked rolls up Claudio for two. Sara goes for a slingshot but Hallowicked forearms him down. Frightmare hops off of Claudio’s back into a huracanrana on Donst. Quack and Incoherence apply stereo abdominal stretches to the BDK. Sara kicks Frightmare up onto Donst’s shoulders, and Claudio clotheslines Frightmare down into a powerbomb from Donst. Quack comes in and looks for a double DDT on Sara and Claudio. They back Quack to the corner and Donst goes up top. Hallowicked takes Donst down with a super fisherman’s buster for the pin at 16:44. This trios match was a lot of fun, and really kicked this show up a notch just in time. It’s almost a little sad that these exact teams aren’t in King of Trios, but the fact that the BDK team captain got pinned by Hallowicked means something in my eyes. An excellent way to conclude the show. ***1/2

Sara and Donst have a yelling match as they head to the back and Donst tells Sara he won’t be on his King of Trios team. Quackenbush and Incoherence shake hands with the fans ringside as they celebrate their victory.

The 411: "Average" is easily the best word to describe this show. The women's match and the main event were quite good, and the rest of the matches at least had purpose. The Band has so much potential, and showed a ton of personality and promise in the short amount of time they were given. To me, their debut and the two matches previously mentioned are the selling points of the show. You're better off saving your money for a different event, but you certainly won't be disappointed if you pick this up. Be sure to check out all of my CHIKARA reviews at my CHIKARA blog; "The CHIKARA Special" and all the CHIKARA news over at "The CHIKARA Special" Tumblr.

Final Score:  6.0   [ Average ]