The Ripple Effect 2.16.07 – Shawn Michaels

Don’t you hate it when one of your favorite things in life moves on?

I have a confession to make: since Spring Break of 2005 I’ve been intensely into the CW show One Tree Hill. I fully realize how clichéd the show is and how much respect teen soaps have among people of my target audience. But I just can’t help it; ever since I took the time to watch my older brother’s first season set, I’ve been hooked on the adventures of the Scott family and the various supporting players.

I’ve watched the show blossom from formulaic to inspired, from trite to imaginative, and never once have I considered reneging my fandom. That is, until this season.

When I think about the shows I watch on TV, I consider myself a very forgiving person. Not everything has to be Six Feet Under; a good storyline and believable characters will do it for me. But this season One Tree Hill has taken the strong foundation they’ve built and unnecessarily fucked with it, almost to the point of spoiling it.

I will cut them some slack, the writing staff has made the most with the decisions that have been made regarding this season. But the decisions themselves have reflected an alarming new trend in the show of shooting for the biggest surprise possible, regardless if it even makes sense.

Anyway, this is just frustrating me more so on to the world of wrestling, which tends not to frustrate me this time of year!

YouTube Wrestling Video of the Week

It took me a while to jump on the YouTube bandwagon, but when I first realized I could watch some awesome old school wrestling videos on it I wondered how I ever went without it. If you look hard enough, you can find some of your favorite matches, awesome promos, even embrassing moments (I actually watched the Mae Young birth sequence…don’t ask me why). Here’s where I encourage all of you to indulge in the pure nostalgic bliss you get from watching shit like this.

The YouTube Wrestling Video of the Week is:

!~ Andy Kaufman gives hygiene tips ~!

This was of course during the famous early ‘80s feud between Jerry Lawler, “The King of Memphis,” and famous comic/actor/artist/misunderstood guy Andy Kaufman. To say the feud was pretty intense would be an insane understatement, as Kaufman’s “I’m better than you” act toward the people of the South worked so effectively that people legit wanted to tear him apart. I remember watching the Kaufman “I’m From Hollywood” special as a kid and getting so pissed and wanting to beat his ass up. I did exactly what Kaufman was probably going for, and more power to him for it.

Reader Feedback

My apologies if you were trying to get your e-mails in for last week’s column. They are there this week though…all four of them.

First, from Matt N, who writes in response to my reshuffled SmackDown roster and claims to be my official BIGGEST FAN:

Smackdown changeroonies:
Carlito – Same reasons as you
Eugene – Freshen his character up a tad, he’d be all in love with new roster of wrestlers
Jerry Lawler – I’m up for seeing Cole / King again, they were good together in my opinion (I think Michael Cole is highly underrated when it comes to making a match entertaining, and I don’t give a shit if he knows the name of every move or not). I want to see classic heelish King again, worshipping rule breakers and screeching ‘Puppies!’ rather than appreiching talented women. This also means JR / JBL on Raw, which is so exciting that it is actually illegal in several countries
Edge – He could the Don of Smackdown rather than the go-to guy for a title match on Raw. Of course this leaves a void on Raw, but they didn’t have Scotty 2 Hotty moving brands just so he could appear on Heat you know…
Kenny – I’m already sick of this dingo on Raw, but I think I’d grow to enjoy the little tinker on SD
Sabu – I kinda want to see him spice up the crusierweight division, but is the CW division harsh on Sabu? Ah well, don’t do the cryme if you can’t do the tyme. Which brings us to –
Cryme Tyme – The idea of them not being exclusive to one brand sounds kind of grovy. If they got fired from Raw for being too naughty and that, they could roam around / commit crimes / break into shows / hang out in the crowd .etc. This would be unpredictable and entertaining, instead of them just getting a brief tag title run, then being put on Heat.
Champions by Summerslam thing:
WWE = Triple H (returning championship push, like Angle in 2003. Ha, I wrote that as though Vince needed a reason to push HHH other than the fact that he is banging Steph)
Heavyweight = Edge (he should be the main man on Smackdown for a while)
ECW = Marcus Cor Von (putting the title on Van Dam is too dangerous with that other company lurking about, add to that, he likes smoking the pot-Mat Striker line. Giving him the title also sends the message to guys like Samoa Joe and AJ Styles, who don’t want to go to WWE, that they could be main eventers. Plus, Cor Von pouncing the charisma out of Lashley: ooooh yeeeaah)
NWA = Kurt Angle (he’ll win it soon before he completely loses the plot and claims that the WWE never pushed him at all, Linda McMahon stole his lunch money and Stephanie raped him after a show) (Hey, 2 mentions of sex with Stephanie McMahon in one e-mail: cool. Although, is the idea of her raping someone allowed to be erotic … yes, yes it is)

You raise an interesting point bringing the King over to SmackDown. Lawler doesn’t want to be the heel to JR’s babyface anymore, and I think pairing him off with Cole could bring the asshole back out of him. JR and JBL could have some VERY entertaining banter, especially during a heel beatdown…good call!

A lot of people have suggested moving Edge over to SD, and they all have the same reason: the glass ceiling. They say he could be the legit star presence that SD’s missing right now. I say being a two-time WWE champ within the past year doesn’t indicate any kind of glass ceiling, but I understand your argument.

Very interesting prediction with the Tripster winning the title back before SummerSlam. It’s crazy to think that it will be two years since HHH held a world title when WM 23 comes around. He’s gradually brainwashing us into thinking he’s overdue for a title run…resist!

From Brian Blaze, who humbly submits his predictions as to who’ll hold the world titles come SummerSlam time:

WWE: Cena
Cena’s simply not going to drop the title anytime in the future. After he runs through all the guys that can challenge him, the WWE is going to have no clue what to do. That is the only positive out of this because it could be simply glorious to watch them fumble.

World Heavyweight: Kennedy
While many say he isn’t ready, I really don’t care. Time in and workrate do not mean all that much in the E and while Kennedy may not be a Benoit, he can put on a damn fine match and has 50 times a better workrate than Batista. I think Taker gets the belt at Mania and Kennedy claims it from him after a few months. Either that or Kennedy wins the belt at Slam.

ECW: RVD. There’s no other real option here but Lashley definitely should not have this belt.

NWA: Samoa Joe. While I think Angle will get the big belt, I think it will be a short run(or he will lose and regain the belt) and he and Joe will have another 3-PPV feud with Joe being the one who holds it in the end.

I will say this: WWE has been doing a good job in recent weeks making Raw seem like something more than the John Cena Show. It’s not that I don’t like Cena, because I very much do. But there was a point in December during which he was feuding with Kevin Federline, Johnny Nitro, Umaga (and Armando), our King, and Finlay. There are some worthy guys on Raw being built up (HBK, Edge, Orton), but you’re right in making the presumption that Cena will hold on to the title.

I’ll be quite surprised if Kennedy gets his hands on the World title before the year’s over. It’s definitely a good sign that they stuck with him for the Rumble title match, but he’s not quite there yet. I don’t mean that in terms of talent, just general credibility. He’ll be just fine though, soon enough.

It’s funny, I made my RVD prediction about four days before I heard he was wanting his release. Now I feel like a dumbshit, but I hope you don’t. It really sucks for ECW that every single one of its big stars (Angle, Big Show, RVD, Sabu, etc.) have been removed from their positions for whatever reason. But we’ll get to the new ECW in next week’s column!!!

Now that Joe’s beginning to get title shots, I definitely wouldn’t be surprised if he got the title before SummerSlam. I just don’t want it to hamper the Christian Coalition, which is now by default the coolest stable in wrestling!

From Wes Andrews, who takes the “separate brand identities” thing to a new level:

I really agree that the brands need sharper identities (ECW
reminds me too much of Sunday Night Heat). I have a similar proposition:

RAW – think “classic WWF” with zany gimmicks and muscle-men. All the stuff
that Vince creams himself for, featuring the Intercontinental Title and
Women’s Title. Target audience: age 5-13 (and their parents). Taker,
Booker, Batista, Kane, Rey Misterio, Boogeyman, Big Show, Umaga, Cryme Tyme,
Great Khali, Kevin Thorn, most of the Divas.

ECW – think “classic ECW” with tough, hardcore wrestling and fantastic
lucha-libre. Featuring the TV title (renamed into a more hardcore name
perhaps) and Cruiserweight title. Target audience: age 14-19. Sandman,
Dreamer, HHH, Orton, Edge, Foley, Hardcore Holly, Shannon Moore, Super
Crazy, Chavo Guerrero, Gregory Helms, etc.

SMACKDOWN – think ROH with simple, gimmick-free wrestling. Featuring the US
title (maybe renamed into the Pure title) and the Tag Titles. Target
audience: age 20 and up. Shawn Michaels, Ric Flair, Chris Benoit, Finlay,
Regal, Rob Van Dam, CM Punk, WGTT, MNM, Hardy Boys, Cade & Murdoch, London &
Kendrick, etc.

There’s obviously some cross-over here, but this is the general idea. And
there would only be one World Champion; he’d jump from show to show.

Why I think you’ve got the major wrestling “subgenres” covered with this layout. I assume we’re accepting the “it would never happen but what if it did” line of fantasy booking here. I really like the way you’ve divided up the specialties. One thing that makes me think is the positioning of the lucha stuff. My gut would be to put on the wrestling brand (SD), but I think it has that “extreme” quality to it that would thrive on ECW. I approve!

And last, from Huthaifa Abdulhafeez, who submits his list of “extremists”:

I like a lot of your picks, just want to show you mine.

I would bring the CW division to ECW
So it would be
CM PUNK
GREG HELMS
CHAVO GUERRERO
JIMMY WANG
SHAWN DAIVARI
ELIJAH BURKE
JAMIE NOBLE
LIL GUIDO
KENNY DYKSTRA

Then you have a heavyweight division built around Lashley
LASHLEY
FINLAY
KANE
KEVIN THORN
UMAGA
PAUL BURCHILL
HOLLY
RVD
SNITSKY.

Interesting list…I would tell you what I think of the choices, but you read the ECW column so I assume you already know what I think. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, click here, here, and here.

Thanks to everyone who sent e-mails, and keep them coming!

A Reason to be Thankful this WM Season!

As a general rule, members of the IWC tend to view the wrestling product first and foremost in terms of its shortcomings. It’s basic human nature, especially for guys who write as a hobby/job; we thrive on the art of criticism and hunger for the most profound and entertaining way to deliver our criticism. Hell, I’d bet that half of us started working for 411 just to prove to ourselves that we indeed have better ideas than Vince.

However, all of us (writers and fans alike) have a reason to be thankful in the months of February and March of 2007, and this year we are privy to one of the sweetest treats left in the business.

In 1995 at WrestleMania XI, Shawn Michaels beceived his first WWF Championship match the company’s biggest show, going up against fellow Cliq member Kevin Nash. The match was by no means a classic, but it certainly fulfilled its purpose and set the stage for great things to come for HBK.

When next year’s show came around Shawn picked up his game against a very worthy opponent. The “Iron Man” match against Bret Hart is often mentioned as one of the finest athletic showcases in wrestling history. There was no interference, no weapon-throwing and no ref bumping. In essence, all the bullshit was thrown out the window, and HBK and Bret just did what they do. The result was pure beauty and Michaels looked positively superhuman afterward.

Two years later, Shawn helped ring in the Austin era in grand fashion with an intense bout at WM XIV. Looking back on it you can see the pain Shawn withstands with every step as he wrestled what was pretty much everyone thought would be his last match.

Six years after THAT, following a four-year forced retirement, a courageous comeback, a month-long run with the Big Gold Belt and a great match at WM XIX with Chris Jericho, Shawn found himself in the title hunt yet again, as he, HHH and Chris Benoit put on what this writer still thinks is the quintessential WM match. As Scott Slimmer discussed in his Top Ten Shawn Michaels Matches column, Shawn took what could’ve been a really good HHH/Benoit match and made it legendary.

So now it 2007, as of February 5th HBK is getting his fifth chance to fight for a world championship on the biggest stage in wrestling (this puts him third on the all-time list behind HHH and Hogan). Instead of rumored matches ranging from Cena/Umaga to Cena/Khali to Cena/Edge/Orton, we’re getting one of the most intriguing modern-day dream matches I can think of. To sweeten the pot, these two immensely popular superstars have never feuded in the nearly two years they’ve wrestled on the same brand. To put it simply, I’m fucking stoked!

The most popular argument I’ve heard against this match is that they need to put some new blood in the main event, which would favor some Edge/Orton involvement. And I would’ve agreed wholeheartedly three weeks ago. But two things put that notion to bed quickly: Shawn’s promo the week before the Rumble, in which you could just see the fire in his eyes in a way that was absent before HHH’s injury, and the image of Cena catching Shawn’s superkick and getting in his face the night after the Rumble. The moment I saw HBK and the Champ stand toe to toe, I knew this feud could work.

It’s that feeling of confidence you get when Shawn’s in the ring, that knowledge that he’s simply going to deliver, that’s kept him so over through the years. He’s developed that by performing at the highest level every night, whether he’s wrestling Chris Jericho or Chris Masters. Think of it this way: he’s fighting the company’s top star on its showcase PPV a full nine years after his supposed “retirement.” The scary part? This match is probably going to be better than the one nine years ago. And unlike Hogan, nobody can legitimately argue that he doesn’t deserve to go up against today’s champions.

The reason I say all this is because I don’t want wrestling fans taking this main event for granted, like I almost did. Shawn Michaels is the most consistently great performer of the past twenty years and is STILL at the top of his game. I cannot sufficiently stress how amazing HBK’s accomplishments are and how valuable he is to the company. We’re witnessing something very special here, and I don’t want WWE to disappoint with either the buildup or the match itself…at least I know Shawn won’t.

So I ask the IWC to please not get cynical and to accept the certain goodness that will come from this feud. I trust no one more lead us through the Road to WrestleMania than the guy who stole Diesel’s heat, beat Bret at his own game, made Austin into a phenomenon and gave us the match many consider as the zenith of wrestling fandom.

Until the night of WM 23, I’ll be at my TV every Monday night (except this past one), waiting for the next installment of the most potential-filled feud WWE has run in a LONG time. And in my dreams will be visions of a “You Can’t See Me”/Nip-Up combo. April 1st…I’m so there!

Closing Time

I hope you guys really take this HBK thing to heart…no one is better prepared or better equipped to take the biggest stage of all and entertain us like his life depended on it.

Anyway, next week I’ll be back to take a look at the one angle left that can take the shambles of the new ECW and pack into as stable a ball as possible. If you don’t understand the analogy, it’s OK; I don’t really understand it myself.

Let me leave you with this quotation by one of President Bill Clinton’s cabinet members:

“Clinton was an idiot…you may forget what your name is or where you live, but you never forget oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”

Ponder that for a while, and have a great week!