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Csonka’s TNA One Night Only: Classic Review
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TNA One Night Only: Classic Review
OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Gunner defeated The Great Sanada @ 4:55 via pin [**]
– Mr. Anderson defeated DJ Z @ 4:09 via pin [DUD]
– Bram defeated Sonjay Dutt @ 4:46 via pin [**]
– Austin Aries defeated Khoya @ 5:39 via pin [*]
– MVP defeated Davey Richards @ 8:25 via pin [**½]
– Eric Young and Bobby Roode went to a double count out @ 9:25 [**]
– Knux defeated Kenny King @ 7:45 via pin [*½]
– Rockstar Spud defeated Robbie E @ 5:30 via pin [*]
– Gunner defeated Mr. Anderson @ 7:55 via pin [**¼]
– Bram defeated Austin Aries @ 7:27 via pin [**]
– Rockstar Spud defeated Knux @ 7:01 via pin [*¾]
– Gunner defeated MVP @ 6:20 via pin [**]
– Bram defeated Rockstar Spud @ 1:35 via pin [NR]
– Brooke Tessmacher, Taryn Terrell and Rebel defeated Havok, Madison Rayne and Angelina Love @ 5:50 via pin [*]
– Gunner defeated Bram @ 6:30 via pin [**½]
– The show is a 16-man tournament, with the winner being crowned the winner of the TNA Classic Tournament. It was taped back in February.
Gunner defeated The Great Sanada: They worked a nice back and forth to begin things, Sanada tried to use his speed. Gunner got some run early, Sanada finally was able to take control, using some shady heel tactics. It started well and then just slowed to a point where nothing really happened. Gunner eventually fired up, voided the moonsault and then hit a sloppy F5 for the win. It was solid, but completely unspectacular. Outside of the finish looking a bit off, this was clean, but very uneventful.
Mr. Anderson defeated DJ Z: They did some grab ass early, DZ J played with his laptop to make the horn sound and then he laughed at Anderson. The bullshit continued as they worked a tease where Anderson stole DJ Z’s headphones. DJ Z attacked from behind to get the heat, and then yelled at Anderson for touching his headphones. DJ Z then messed around and danced with his headphones, Anderson got up and hit a mic check and that was that. Anderson then played with DJ Z’s laptop post match. There was almost no wrestling; they worked a match around headphones. It’s going to be a long night.
Bram defeated Sonjay Dutt: Bram wasn’t in the mood to fuck around, so he attacked Dutt at the bell and used his brawling style to control early. Dutt was able to use his speed to sidestep and send Bram to the floor, and then hit a cannonball dive to the floor. There was a very obvious edit in the match at about the 2-minuet mark, which came off as amateurish and also annoying. Dutt had this really good comeback segment, and then they slowed it down for no real reason, and lost the flow. The crowd also appears to be muted, or they don’t give a fuck; I can’t really tell. I have no idea why they changed direction mid-match, they had a nice little sprint going, mixing the brawling of Bram and the speed of Dutt. It oddly slowed to a crawl, Dutt then missed a high cross and Bram hit the DDT for the win. It was fine, but could have been better.
Austin Aries defeated Khoya: The glory of taping back in January, the Revolution is still alive and Austin Aries is still around. They did really basic power vs. speed stuff, where Khoya would toss Aries around and Aries would have to sell amazement at Khoya’s power. Khoya would choke out Aries in the ropes, Storm would get involved; it was really slow with not much happening. Clubbing strikes, slams and bear hugs by Khoya as Aries sold and sold and sold. Aries eventually ran around a bit and tried to tire out Khoya, he fought off Storm and then when Khoya ran into Storm, Aries picked up the win with a roll up. It was too long, and way too slow. Aries is good, but he isn’t a miracle worker.
MVP defeated Davey Richards: MVP is wearing his cool Punisher gear tonight. We had a lot of stalling from MVP, fixing he gloves, stretching and the like. Richards then got a pair of arm drags, and mocked MVP by stretching and checking his boots to stall a bit. Hey picked up the pace a bit, and went to the floor where MVP took control for the heat as he slammed Richards into the barricade and then the steps. MVP controlled until he missed the corner kick, Richards picked up the pace during the comeback and laid in a series of kicks. Richards then got a near fall off of a German suplex, but fan into a flapjack and the play of the day got a near fall for MVP. Richards would go for the double stomp; miss and then MVP got a roll up with the ropes for the win. It slowed down the stretch a bit, but it was the best thing on the show so far.
Eric Young and Bobby Roode went to a double count out: Young and Roode were working a solid opening stretch as Borash and Mathews discussed wanting to be on the Knockouts workout show on Youtube. Seriously. Young did a ton of stalling, going to the floor to threaten a fan and such. Roode controlled the early portion with mat wrestling, until Young used some cheap shots and chokes to take control and get the heat. Young’s heat segment was really boring, and there were fans in the front row checking their phones and no paying attention at all. It was OK, there was nothing wrong with it, but it was really bland. Roode fought back with rights, and picked up the pace well with clothesline and then the spinebuster for a near fall. Young hit the top rope elbow for a near fall, teased the piledriver but Roode escaped and then they brawled to the floor. They then brawled and we got a double countout. Considering the matches they had in the past, this came off as a real disappointment. The layout was poor and didn’t highlight anything that made their previous matches so good.
Knux defeated Kenny King: Another match with a lot of stalling to begin, King bailing to the floor and then doing pushups. Once they got done playing grab ass, they did some speed vs. power stuff, and King finally took control with a stun gun and missile dropkick. As King got the heat, Borash and Mathews told a story about someone throwing a burrito as King danced around with Knux’s hat and cane. Is it really too much to ask these two idiots to actually commentate on the match? Seriously, as King worked a heatless heat segment, Mathews talked about going to a Tennessee Titans game and how the football players were not as big as the TNA wrestlers. I understand that the match is boring, but focus here. Knux made a comeback and hit his charging cross body, but King hit a series of kicks and got a near fall. King raked the eyes and then they blew the Macho Man stun gun spot. Knux caught King as he flew into the ring and hit a downward spiral for the win. It went too long, and the crowd did not care. Cut out some of the bullshit and condense this down and it’s a better match.
Rockstar Spud defeated Robbie E: Robbie cut a pre-match promo, mocking Spud’s accent and taking a selfie. Robbie repeatedly ran away from Spud and took selfies, while Borash and Mathews had a discussion about Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory. Spud then took selfies and then went into the crowd to take more selfies. The ref and Spud then took a selfie together, and then Spud finally went on the attack but was but off almost immediately. Robbie hit some suplexes and then controlled with the side headlock. Spud finally made a comeback, laid in rights and then a shining wizard, which Mathews called about 7-seconds before it happened. Spud then hit the underdog for the win.
Gunner defeated Mr. Anderson: So we have a face vs. face match here, with a playful beginning where the friends try to one up each other. They worked basic back and forth grappling, working counters and slowly pickup up the intensity. They worked to the floor, and Gunner eventually sent Anderson to the post. Back in the ring and Gunner had control for about 15-seconds, and then Anderson made a comeback and missed the senton. Gunner hit a sloppy (again) F5 for a near fall. Anderson then hit a mic check and Gunner kicked out. This thing has such an odd flow, and the crowd being almost silent is not helping things. Anderson hit the Finlay roll off the second rope and then hit the senton to no reaction, and it got a near fall, as Gunner got a crucifix and got the win. It had its moments and they certainly tried, but this had no juice to it. They shook hands post match and hugged, because friends, fuck yeah!
Bram defeated Austin Aries: They did some teases of going to the floor, Aries would get back in to frustrate Bram; they did this a few times. Aries sent Bram to the floor, he went up top but Bram crotched him and then pulled him to the floor where he slammed him to the apron a few times to get the heat. Bram worked the old chinlock for a bit, but Aries made a comeback and got the last chancery. Bram raked the eyes to escape. Aries managed to send Bram to the floor and then hit the flying axe handle, Bram cut off the shotgun dropkick, they had some back and forth and then Aries would get the shotgun dropkick for a near fall. Bram hit a low blow and the DDT for the pin. Leave it to Bram to have a boring match with Austin Aries.
Rockstar Spud defeated Knux: Knux mocked Spud for being short, and dropped to a knee to allow Spud a sporting chance. So Spud got a headlock and Knux stood up and walked around, giving Spud a thumbs up. Knux then did cartwheels, Spud tried and failed. Spud tried a roll up, but you see Knux is too big and he could not pull him down. Knux actually did some athletic stuff here, Spud threw about 43 body shots and tired himself out. Knux dropped him with one punch, and then pummeled him in the corner. They then went into the big man vs. little man formula, trying to sell the underdog story. That’s all well and good as both were serious, but the playful tone at the beginning felt out of place when they went to this. Spud eventually countered a powerbomb into a rollup for the win. There were hints in here of a good match, they did some good and fn stuff together, but it felt as if they were piecing parts of three different matches together here. That’s a fault of the agents.
– Post match Ethan Carter III hit the ring and attacked Spud, slamming him to the barricade repeatedly. This was back when Carter was wearing the big arm brace. Carter mocked Spud on the mic and unfortunately this crowd is dead, because they didn’t react for the angle at all. The TNA fans love Spud and usually give Carter a lot of shit; there was nothing here.
Gunner defeated MVP: MVP talked a slot of shit early and then slapped Gunner, which led to them brawling a bit before MVP powdered. Commentary mentioned this is passing, but should have reinforced the fact that MVP is fresher because of the double countout earlier in the show. MVP took control, doing the chinlock variation and then repeated covers. They did a lot of back and forth striking here as well, it almost woke up the crowd. MNVP hit the corner kick and then the XPLODER for a near fall, Gunner then countered the play of the day and hit the F5 for the win. It was fine, but the road to the finish was completely rushed and came out of nowhere in a bad way.
Bram defeated Rockstar Spud via count out: Bram got on the mic and claimed Spud was too beaten to face him tonight. He demanded the ref start the count for Spud. A taped up Spud managed to make it to the ring, and Bram stopped the count. Spud played the valiant babyface here, and no one cared, which is a shame. Bram yelled at Spud, then hit the DDT and that was it.
Brooke Tessmacher, Taryn Terrell and Rebel defeated Havok, Madison Rayne and Angelina Love: Havok worked over Rebel to begin, Love and Rayne then wanted in when the damage was done, but argued for so long rebel tagged in Brooke. Rebel tagged back in and the heels got the heat, as Havok tried to break her in half. Typical heel stuff here, taking the ref, cheap shots on the face, but whoever thought that Rebel working the majority of the match is a fool. Show was bumping so awkwardly here, and her overall selling lacked. We finally got the tag to Taryn, she ran wild on Love and got a near fall off the second rope dropkick. It broke down, we got moves, and Taryn won with a cutter on Love. That was largely a mess.
– They completely dropped the crowd lighting here, I would assume people left and they had to cover it up.
Gunner defeated Bram: Gunner and Bram are in the same place, ending he theory that they are the same guy. They brawled right away, with Gunner sending Bram to the floor and then hitting a slingshot plancha, which then led to more brawling. Bram eventually tossed Gunner into the barricade, and then got the heat with a chinlock to grind things to a halt. Gunner eventually fired up, no sold the turnbuckle shots and then fired away with clotheslines and a slingshot suplex for a near fall. They worked a solid homestretch, with some good counters, but little to no crowd reaction. They tried. Gunner finally hit the F5 and that was all. It was one of the better matches, but basically a short and average match.
* End scene.
* Thanks for reading.
“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”
