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Csonka’s TNA One Night Only: Rivals Review 2.05.16
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Csonka’s TNA One Night Only: Rivals Review 2.05.16
OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Eddie Edwards defeated Davey Richards @ 13:54 via pin [**½]
– Eric Young defected Chris Melendez @ 7:44 via pin [*]
– Drew Galloway defeated Eli Drake @ 11:15 via pin [**]
– Tigre Uno defeated Rockstar Spud @ 9:50 via pin [**]
– BONUS BOUND FOR GLORY TIME FILLING MATCH: Gail Kim defeated Awesome Kong to retain @ 10:05 via pin [**]
– Lashley defeated Mahabali Shera @ 9:35 via pin [*]
– Ethan Carter III went to a double countout Matt Hardy @ 10:33 [***]
– The Beautiful People defeated The Dollhouse @ 5:35 via pin [**½]
– Jessie Godderz defeated Robbie E @ 6:10 via pin [*½]
– Mr. Anderson defeated Bram @ 11:05 via pin [**]
Eddie Edwards vs. Davey Richards: Commentary plays this up as guys that just want to see who is the best. The early portion was counter wrestling and trying to avoid the other man to show off a bit. Mathews and Borash showed right away that they wee useless on commentary, as they discuss who has more Twitter followers, who dressed better and who howled better. This felt really slow as at the four-minute mark they were still messing around with the “feeling out process.” They also kept doing these little deals of back and forth and then doing stand offs, waiting for a reaction that never really came. Don’t get me wrong, this was not bad, but they largely did nothing for nearly 7–minutes. Richards finally took control, and worked the arm, using arm bars and even using a nice La Mistica. Edwards cut off Richards when he went for a back handspring elbow, hitting a cool flapjack. Edwards would target the leg. They then traded more counters and roll ups, with Edwards picking up the win. They went out there and for the most part did nothing for close to 14-minutes. It felt like a friendly grappling session at times, there was no real heat segment, and the crowd largely did not care. It was fine overall.
– Drew Galloway cut a promo; he plans to use his Claymore to defeat Eli Drake tonight.
– We get highlights, showing some of the issues that made Eric Young and Chris Melendez rivals.
– Young cut a pre-match promo, calling himself a pro wrestling God, a world-class man and wrestler, as well as a world-class maniac. No one will come to this ring because he has no equal. Well he’s wrong. Melendez played to the crowd and then said he was the one legged man who beat Young in an ass kicking contest.
Eric Young vs. Chris Melendez: Melendez charged into the ring and tired to take the fight to EY, but got cut off pretty quickly. They worked the same Young vs. Melendez match they always work; EY works a slow and methodical pace so that Melendez can keep up, they brawl on the floor a bit, and EY does basic heel tactics (eye pokes, chokes) to maintain control. Melendez would get quick hope spots only to get cut off. The crowd was mildly interested. EY too off Melendez’s prosthetic leg, tried to use it but the ref took it away. Melendez made a comeback, almost dropped EY on an ill-advised side slam and hit a dropkick. Melendez then got a near fall off of a missile dropkick, but EY hit two low blows and hit a piledriver for the win. This was not good in any way, and while I appreciate Melendez trying to live his dream, he is not a good professional wrestler.
– We get a video package for Drake vs. Galloway.
– Drake cuts a promo; he appreciates Galloway calling him a cockroach, because they are the most resilient things on the planet.
Drew Galloway vs. Eli Drake: They worked some disjointed counter wrestling early, it was largely fine but they had issues making it look smooth at times. They went to the floor for a bit, Drake caught Galloway on the way on to try and get the advantage and finally did with a neck breaker. Drake worked a slow and meandering heat segment, with no real focus or sense of urgency. Galloway made a comeback and hit a top rope lariat to turn the tide. Drake actually countered the claymore with a cool powerbomb, which got a near fall. Galloway fought back with rapid-fire rights, escaped a pinning combo where Drake had the ropes. This isn’t bad, but it feeling really long right now. Drake then went up top, and missed the big elbow drop. Galloway then hit the claymore and future shock DDT for the win. It was fine.
– We get highlights from am X-Division match between Grado, Spud, DJ Z and Uno.
Tigre Uno vs. Rockstar Spud: After a bit of goofing off, Spud worked the bad arm of Uno almost immediately. Spud stayed focused on the arm, but Uno used a run up the corner lucha arm drag to escape. Spud maintained control, working the arm and making sure to ground Uno. I liked what Spud did here, he was controlling and aggressive, but not to the point were he even subtly felt like a heel. He was just being the smarter grappler. Uno finally started to make a comeback, and when he did he largely no sold the five-minutes of arm work that Spud had just done. I mean, why invest the time to tell that story and then basically ignore it to hit your spots? That’s simply lazy. Uno continued his comeback in the ring, even getting a near fall off f the reverse rack slam. Spud then hit a code red to counter Uno, which got a near fall. They then both fired up center ring and exchanged rights to no reaction. They reacted a bit to Spud when he took control here, but they have basically lost the crowd. Spud headed up top and hit a forearm off the top. Uno countered the underdog into a sunset flip, and they did several pinning combos and Uno ended up with the pin. This had its moments, with a smartly booked opening stretch and I thought we were really heading for a good match. But then Uno stopped selling and they lost the crowd and the finish fizzled out.
– We now get to watch the Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong match from Bound for Glory. In that match, Gail Kim defeated Awesome Kong to retain @ 10:05 via pin [**]. This also shows that they still cannot fill these PPVs with original content, something that has been an issue ever since they started them.
Lashley vs. Mahabali Shera: Shera is now wearing some orange, black and purple long tights. They worked headlocks and top wristlocks in the early going before heading into some power stuff. Lashley controlled, working the arm of Shera with kimura variations and slamming Shera to the corner while holding onto the hammerlock. Shera rolled to the floor, Lashley followed and Shera got control for a bit, but when they got back in the ring, Lashley hit divorce court for a near fall. Shera again fought back and sent Lashley to the floor and we got some slow floor brawling. Shera looks completely lost trying to control a match, Lashley is obviously trying to lead him and almost yells at him at times here as he just exists. They battled up top, and Shera hit a press slam on Lashley. He missed a charge, Lashley had to wait for him to get into position and then ht his spear for the win. Lashley really tried here, and early on it was looking promising, and then Shera took over and it fell apart.
– We get to watch the final few minutes of EC3 beating Matt Hardy in the finals of the World Title Series.
Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Hardy: Carter is working face here on his entrance, being nice to the fans and having some good interaction with them. Carter double legged Matt at the bell and they brawled right away. They then went to the floor, where Carter controlled and whipped Matt to the steps. Early on this actually felt way more like a match between rivals than anything else on the show. Carter controlled the opening minutes, but when he took the time to mock Matt, that is when he lost that control and Matt took over. Matt controlled and slowed thing down, working a sleeper for a bit. Carter escaped but then Matt went for a running bulldog and they got tripped up and both of them fell on their faces. It looked absolutely horrific. Matt then missed a moonsault, allowing Carter to make a comeback with the corner splash and TKO for a near fall. Both men countered the other’s finisher, and then Carter hit a wacky STO/front DDT deal for a near fall. They worked some good near falls, with the crowd actually into this and Carter got a near fall off of the twist of fate. Matt countered the one percenter and took a powder, Carter followed and they brawled on the floor for the double countout. This was the best match on the show, they had some nice back and forth, a nice homestretch and the near falls were good and the crowd actually cared. The finish is a bit deflating, but also understandable.
The Beautiful People (Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne) vs. The Dollhouse (Jade and Marti Bell) w/Rebel: They did some poor mic work and they brawled to start things off. Once the brawling ended, we got some nice back and forth between Rayne, Jade and Belle. Dollhouse then got the heat on Sky, and at times distracted the ref to use the numbers game to work over Sky. Rayne saved Sky from the package piledriver, Belle and Rayne then tagged in and Rayne ran wild for a bit and then it broke down and all four were in. Rebel used the MEMPHIS POWDER OF DOOM but accidentally hit Belle with it, and Rayne then hit cross Rhodes for the win. It was short, but that was for the better as they worked a really nice pace and delivered one of the better matches on the show.
– We get a video package on the rise and fall of the Bro-Mans.
Jessie Godderz vs. Robbie E: Jessie did some really bad mic work and then did a posing routine. Jessie claimed he won, but allowed Robbie to pose. Robbie then did a series of poses, shooting the middle finger to Jessie, who claimed that those were not sanctioned poses. Jessie and Earl Heber then argued, and Earl shot him the middle finger. That was three minutes of my life I will never get back. The match started with Robbie controlling, and of course some work on the floor. Back in he ring Robbie missed a high cross, and Jessie took control. Now I get that this match isn’t very good, but Mathews and Borash discussing where they are from for minutes here once again proves that they just are bad at their job. Jessie worked a lifeless heat, Robbie made a comeback, but Jessie cut him off. Jessie then almost dropped Robbie on a powerbomb attempt, which is something he does way to often. If you cannot do the move, do not do it; he’s going to hurt someone some day. Jessie then got a roll up and the tights to pick up the win. The first few minutes were solid, but then it got slow, there was no heat and Jessie almost dropped Robbie on a powerbomb. Moving on.
Mr. Anderson vs. Bram: Anderson’s mic did not drop, so Anderson had a stagehand stand on a chair and hold the mic over him so that he could do his announcement. But before he could do that, Bram attacked and the match started. After the attack and beating on Anderson, Bram slowed it down with a chinlock and worked some elbows and kicks. Anderson tried to make a comeback, and Bram used a low blow right in front of the ref. It was then that Mathews informed us that this was a no DQ match. That information would have been useful five-minutes ago Josh, BEFORE the match started. And it wouldn’t be a Bram match without FLOOR BRAWLING. I get that this is a rivals show, but almost every match has gone to the floor, so it just loses all effect. Bram used a chair on the throat of Anderson and then brought it back into the ring, and wedged it in the corner. They teased using the chair several times, and then Bram brought several more chairs into the ring. Bram set up two chairs to put Anderson through, they battled in the corner but Anderson fought back and Anderson tried a superplex, Bram fought back and shoved Anderson off through the chairs for a near fall. Bram then brought in a table, the chair that was in the corner fell out right before Bram was supposed to go through it so he had to post himself, and then Anderson managed a mic check onto the table and that was all. This was a slow plodding brawl, with little to get into and both guys locking into second gear and staying there. The crowd basically didn’t care, and barely reacted to the weapons, which is always a bad sign because the weapons are usually cheap heat.
* Next month’s PPV is One Night Only: Joker’s Wild.
* End scene.
* Thanks for reading.
“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”
