The Judgment Day 2006 Breakdown

Judgment Day — 05.21.06

Live from Phoenix, Ariz.

Your hosts are Michael Cole and Tazz.

Opening Match, WWE Tag Team Titles: MNM (w/Melina) vs. Brian Kendrick & Paul London.
Nitro stalls to pose early, but Kendrick and London dominate with their quickness. The challengers bust out the Rockers old hiptoss into a double elbowdrop into a kip up. London launches Kendrick onto MNM, but he misses a flying crossbody, and the champs take over. Melina works in her headscissors. London and Nitro knock heads for a double KO, and Kendrick gets the hot tag. Kendrick cleans house but falls victim to the Snapshot. London makes the save at the last possible second. Kendrick rolls up Nitro, but the ref is arguing with Mercury. MNM takes over on Kendrick this time. It’s not often that matches are given long enough for two heat segments these days. MNM takes turns tossing Kendrick into each other’s boots, but Kendrick reverses a final attempt and tosses Nitro into Mercury. HOT TAG TO LONDON! London cleans house and gets a close two off an Oklahoma Roll. London dropsaults off Nitro onto Mercury, but Melina breaks up the count with the PRIMAL SCREAM! They do the Ultimate Warrior/Rick Rude spot with Nitro breaking up a suplex. London kicks out, though. An MNM doubleteams backfires, and Mercury knocks Nitro onto Melina. London rolls up Mercury in a Jackknife for the win and the titles (and a HUGE pop) at 13:43. Mercury and Nitro blame each other and get into a pull-apart brawl, with Melina clearly siding with Nitro. General Manager Teddy Long gets knocked down in the fracas. Hey! Stuff is happening. Interesting stuff. On a Smackdown PPV, no less. Good opener. **3/4

Chris Benoit vs. Fit Finlay.
Here’s the other match I was interested in. They go really old school — like Mr. Wrestling vs. Two-Ton Harris old school — with Finlay complaining about eyepokes and chokes to misdirect the ref’s attention. A stiff tie-up spills to the floor, and they get in each other’s faces. Finlay makes the mistake of slapping Benoit in the face, so Benoit slaps the taste of his mouth. Things finally enter this century with Benoit escaping a Gokuraku-gatame (Cross-Arm Choke) and hitting a German Suplex. Finlay avoids a Swandive Headbutt and grabs a chair, but Benoit dropkicks the chair into his face and completes the move back inside. It gets two. Finlay goes after Benoit’s surgically repaired neck with a forearm and a quarter-nelson. He can’t get a submission off a Dragon Sleeper/hammerlock, so he lays in more forearms. Benoit comes back with ROLLING GERMANS, so Finlay bails and grabs the shillelagh. Benoit avoids it and delivers a ROLLING GERMAN ON THE FLOOR! Back in, Benoit busts out the Triple Verticals and goes up, but Finlay pops up and cuts him off with a forearm that sends him to the crowd barrier. Back in, Finlay tosses Benoit’s shoulder into the post, but Benoit surprises him with the Crossface for the quick tapout at 21:10. That was a disappointingly quick and anticlimactic finish to what was shaping up to be a very good match. Surprisingly, Finlay evoked a 1970s style of wrestling — slow, deliberate and subtle — and the fans didn’t chant “boring” once. I guess that’s what having the respect of the fans can do for you. ***3/4

Melina (w/Nitro) vs. Jillian Hall.
The ref tosses Nitro early, and Jillian hits a Thesz Press early. Jillian snapmares her over and kicks her in the back like a shapely Toshiaki Kawada. Melina sends her into the ringsteps to take over. Back in, Melina locks in the bodyscissors and starts pounding her ribs. PSYCHOLOGY~! Melina kicks her in the ribs again and drops the double knees on her while she’s in the ropes. Melina misses a splash or an elbow or something. Jillian avoids a charge and gets a sunset flip for the win at 4:17, even though the replay shows Melina had her hand on the bottom rope. This was pretty good, but the fans just wanted to see naked chicks. *1/2

Krystal comes down to interview Melina after the match. Wrong time, bitch. It’s such a bad night for Melina, though, that even Krystal kicks her ass. Cole explains that Krystal was just trying to ask her a question, but she really didn’t.

John Bradshaw Layfield promises to end the feel-good story of the year. He spots Chavo Guerrero backstage. Chavo explains that he’s just there to cheer on his friend.

Cruiserweight Championship: Gregory Helms vs. Super Crazy.
Despite the fact that this match got next to no advance publicity on Smackdown, the fans actually get into it a little with an “ECW” chant and a “Super Crazy” chant. Crazy goes hard after falls early and springboards off Nick Patrick for a tope con hilo. Helms grounds the match as Cole and Tazz amuse themselves by arguing over whether Helms is still a high-flyer or a mat-based wrestler. Crazy comes back with a standing moonsault for two and a missile dropkick. Helms avoids a moonsault but misses the Shining Wizard. Helms hits the flipping neckbreaker and counters a huracanrana to a powerbomb and puts his feet on the ropes for the win at 9:55. **1/4

In the back, Melina and Nitro complains to Teddy Long about getting screwed over twice tonight. Teddy Long refuses to do anything about it, so Melina slaps him. Apparently, she slaps some sense into him, because he responds by FIRING NITRO AND MELINA! So I guess Melina is off to Raw and Nitro off to ECW?

Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle.
Jesus! My iced tea doesn’t condense as much as Mark Henry. The man makes $1 million a year and can’t afford a towel? Angle interrupts Henry’s pre-match promo and attacks Henry from behind. Kurt’s mouthpiece reads, “revenge,” I should note. Angle kicks Henry right in the face. Did I wander into a Low Ki match? They tease a German Suplex spot through the table, and Henry takes over with an avalanche. Henry goes after the ribs and back of Angle. Angle counters the World’s Strongest Slam to a DDT for two. DOWN COME THE STRAPS! Angle gets the Angleslam, but it only gets two. Henry cuts him off with a clothesline and hits the World’s Strongest Slam, but *it* only gets two. Angle counters another one to the Anklelock, but Henry rolls through, sending Angle to the floor. Henry sets up for the splash through the announce table, but Angle rolls out of the way. Henry settles for an avalanche against the ringpost instead. That’s enough for a lame countout victory at 9:10. After the match, Henry goes for more punishment, but Angle goes low and beats the hell out of him with a steel chair. The Anklelock Legscissors gets the tapout, but it’s a bit late for that. The officials pull Angle off him, but Kurt returns and Angleslams Henry on the announce table. **1/4

Elsewhere, Booker T and Sharmell discuss how great he is and make out.

Recap of the 2006 King of the Ring. Notice how they don’t point out Owen, Mabel, Shamrock, Billy Gunn or Brock Lesnar.

King of the Ring Finals: Booker T (w/Sharmell) vs. Bobby Lashley.
Lashley shoves Booker down and gets a corner clothesline early. Booker can’t get him up, but Lashley switches and just dumps him with a waistlock takedown. Booker knocks him to the floor and tries to take a countout victory. What a proud king he’ll make. Lashley makes it back in anyway, and Booker goes after the arm. Lashley makes the big comeback with a series of clotheslines, but Sharmell grabs his leg. Booker hits the thrust kick and the Book End, but Lashley kicks out at two. Lashley catches him trying to slip over his shoulder and powerslams him for two. Booker comes back with the Scissors Kick, but it only gets two. Booker misses an Ax Kick and gets speared. Sharmell hops up and distracts the ref long enough for Fit Finlay to run down and hit Lashley with the shillelagh. Booker hits another Scissors Kick to finish Lashley off and win the King of the Ring at 9:16. Lashley gets revenge by spearing Booker on his throne. Booker still manages to keep the crown on, though. Huge heel heat on Booker for his “coronation.” **1/4

The Undertaker vs. The Great Khali (w/Daivari)
Well, we had a good run. Khali “physically dominates” Taker to start. Taker goes up for the Old School Ropewalk, but Khali slams him off. Cole says that’s the first time anyone’s done that to the Undertaker. Ooookay. Khali continues to dominate. Even Daivari gets a shot in. Khali hits a big chop to the head and tries to pin Taker with a single boot. Guess how well that works out. Taker fires away to come back and hits that Old School forearm. The flying clothesline ties Khali in the ropes Andre-style. Daivari manages to untie him before he suffers too much damage. Khali misses another chop, and Taker goes for a chokeslam. The sheer physics of the situation force Khali to counter with an elbow and hit another chop to the head. Khali puts a boot in Taker’s chest and gets…gets the win…seriously? With a boot in the chest? (8:32). This wasn’t as bad as the Giant Gonzales matches, but it’s not something that deserves a rematch. Not sure what to make of what was basically a squash for Khali other than to offer up the possibility of a Taker move to Raw or possibly the earth opening up, releasing the Morlocks. 3/4*

World Heavyweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield.
JBL’s U.S Title is not on the line here, in case you’re reading this in 2009. Lots of trashtalk and mindgames to start. Rey goes for the 619 early, but JBL bails. Back in, Rey gets a crossbody for two. Rey points to the crowd to distract Nick Patrick and then goes low with a baseball slide. JBL tosses him into the steps to take over. He works Rey over methodically, even busting out the Triple Verticals. Rey has somehow gotten busted open. JBL boots him in the face for two and goes to the eyes to cut off a comeback. Rey counters a powerbomb to a rana and the 619, but JBL pulls the ref in front of the West Coast Pop. JBL powerbombs Rey as Charles Robinson runs down. ONE, TWO, TH-NO! JBL takes out Robinson for not counting fast enough. He brings in a chair and charges with it, but Rey dropkicks it back into his face. 619! FROGSPLASH! And we’re out at 15:56. Chavo Guerrero comes out to congratulate Rey. You’d expect a turn, but it doesn’t happen. **

Final Thoughts: While nothing was particularly exciting, there was nothing excruciatingly bad. There were even some shocking moments like the new tag champs, the dissolution of MNM, the firing of Melina and Nitro, Booker winning KotR, and Taker getting squashed. Based on wrestling alone, it’s a middling PPV, but there is just enough curiosity value to warrant a lukewarm recommendation.

Mild thumbs up.

J.D. Dunn