The Smackdown Breakdown – 10.20.06

WWE Smackdown
by J.D. Dunn

October 20, 2006

From Los Angeles, Cali.

Your hosts are Michael Cole and John Bradshaw Layfield.

MVP vs. Kane.
MVP claims that he wasn’t ready for the match last week, but he wants Kane now! MVP attacks at the bell, but Kane shrugs him off and fights back, so MVP ducks to the floor. When he gets back in, he attacks Kane’s knee. Again, Kane shrugs him off and hits a sideslam. Kane sets up for the chokeslam, so MVP kicks him in the nuts to draw a DQ at 2:51 and runs away. Well, that was money well spent. 3/4*

Elijah Burke (w/Sylvester Terkay) vs. Vito.
Vito has gone “French Maid” tonight. Terkay distracts Vito long enough for Burke to jump him from behind. Vito makes the comeback but misses a flying elbow drop. Burke takes over again, but his offense is pretty vanilla, boring the crowd. Vito makes another comeback with a flapjack and a clothesline. Burke appears to go low, though, and Terkay (the damn bully!) boots Vito in the head to give Burke the win at 3:30. I know Burke has better stuff in him than this. 3/4*

Matt Hardy and Gregory Helms argue over who’s better. Helms argues that he can beat anyone on the roster, which causes Teddy Long to appear out of thin air like a genie and make a match between Helms an the Undertaker.

William Regal says he will no longer be anybody’s buttmonkey. Well, not in those words. Instead, he’s going to be a pissed off British wrestler again, and he’s brought in Dave Taylor to kick some ass.

William Regal & Dave Taylor vs. Funaki & Scotty II Hottie.
Funaki and Scotty don’t even get a brief burst of offense to get the crowd in it early, which is a mistake because Taylor and Regal start methodically destroying Funaki early on, putting the crowd out of it for Taylor’s debut. Michael Cole pisses me off, noting how Taylor “almost instinctively” goes after the brace on Funaki’s knee. Yeah, that’s just something you have to be born with, Mike. Scotty gets the tag but gets his ass kicked as well. Taylor finishes with a floatover Butterfly Suplex for the pin at 4:50. Not that I don’t like Taylor, but his signing wreaks of the Johnny Ace-ization of the roster, where the focus is on old WCW rejects and bland rookies who won’t be allowed to outshine the vets. If they wanted a partner for Regal, why not Nigel McGuinness who is not only more entertaining than Taylor at the style but a younger, more dynamic athlete? *

Loser-Leaves-Smackdown “I Quit” Match: Chavo Guerrero (w/Vickie Guerrero) vs. Rey Mysterio.
They take it to the floor early as Rey hits a somersault senton over the top. Rey whips Chavo into the steps and then to the post. Chavo gets back in, so Rey grabs a chair and wears him out with it. Chavo still refuses to quit, so Rey hits the 619 and goes up. Vickie grabs Rey’s leg, allowing Chavo to recover and throw the chair in his face. Now, Chavo targets Rey’s knee with the chair and applies a single-leg crab. Chavo Pillman-izes Rey’s leg with a frogsplash to the chair, but Rey won’t quit. They brawl up the ramp where Chavo tries to suplex Rey off the landing to the floor. Cole goes into whiny bitch mode, which you probably remember from the Royal Rumble “I Quit” match between Rock & Mankind. “No! Put him down! Put him down, Chavo!” Thankfully, he calms down after a while. Rey knocks Chavo to the floor below and hits a seated senton. Rey actually busts out the Crippler Crossface, but Chavo won’t quit. Rey drops that and tries to crush Chavo’s trachea with a chair. Chavo tries to crush Rey’s knee with an equipment case, but Rey moves and shoves Chavo into a lighting scaffold. However, Chavo hangs Rey upside down on the structure so that he’s helpless. He hits Rey’s exposed knee (in theory) over and over with the chair, finally forcing Rey to quit at 13:28. This, I believe, is one of the few times that a babyface has cleanly lost an “I Quit” match. ***

The Undertaker vs. Gregory Helms.
Helms runs right at Taker and fires away, but Taker tosses him through the air. Taker goes for the chokeslam, but Mr. Kennedy’s music hits. Undertaker quickly dispatches Kennedy and finishes Helms with the Tombstone at 2:12. See, when it’s Kennedy, he’s stupid enough to ignore Benoit and be forced to tap out, but the Undertaker is able to fend off Kennedy, destroy Helms, pick up his dry cleaning, and stop by KFC on the way to his victory. I know there are some logical justifications for making Taker look better and smarter than Kennedy, but there are also justifications for letting a heel get a little bit a head. Just like I said last week, they’re protecting Taker at the expense of the feud. Even when Kennedy jumps Taker again, Taker is able to brush him off and send him running to the back. 1/4*

We get some sort of Diva thing with Nick and Aaron Carter. If you’ve seen “House of Carters,” you know that Nick and Aaron act more like Divas than anyone on Smackdown. I didn’t really pay attention to what the contest was supposed to be, but apparently it’s some sort of strip show. Layla has the best body, but Kristal definitely did give the best performance. Miz agrees with me, but the Carters overrule him, causing a big Diva fracas.

World Heavyweight Title: Booker T (w/Sharmell) vs. Batista.
Big Show and John Cena are at ringside to observe. Batista clotheslines Booker to the floor early, allowing Finlay to run down and clothesline Batista behind the ref’s back. Back inside, Booker hits a Book End for two. A sidekick gets two more. Batista cuts off a charge and hits a powerslam. Booker charges into a spinebuster for two. They take it to the floor again, and Big Show gets taken out in a collision when Batista spears Booker. Back in, Batista spears Booker again, but Big Show gets up, tosses Cena aside, and breaks up a Jackhammer for the DQ at 6:28. General Manager Teddy Long struts out and makes the logical tag match next week. This wasn’t a match so much as filler for a run in. *

Final Thoughts: Outside of Taylor’s debut and a pretty good match between Rey and Chavito, this was about as dull as you can get. The main event scene is on autopilot as they have no idea how to do anything interesting with these guys other than mix and match them to build to a match that doesn’t seem to be drawing much interest anyway.