411’s TNA Impact Wrestling Report 2.21.13

*****

PREVIOUSLY ON IMPACT WRESTLING: Eight man try to prove they are worthy of becoming the next #1 contender to the World Heavyweight Title while Bully Ray sits out due to injury. Hulk Hogan goes to announce who will get the title shot before The Aces and 8’s interrupt the proceedings. Who will Hogan choose? We’ll find out soon enough!

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We go “live” to the Wembley Arena in London, England as Todd Keneley welcomes the home audience. Mike Tenay hypes the Knockouts Title match before “Not Quite the nWo Theme” brings out GM Hulk Hogan. The London crowd gives Hogan a warm welcome as he struts his way to the ring. Hogan’s music cuts out and a “Hogan” chant permeates from the crowd. Hogan butters up the London crowd, calling the city “home”. Hogan recaps the end of last week’s show where The Aces and 8’s interrupted him mid-decision. Hogan looks on the bright side, saying this gave him another week to really think about who gets the title shot. Hogan introduces the #1 contender for Lockdown: BULLY RAY.

Bully Ray makes his way out with a look of shock on his face. Ray gets in the ring and Hogan hands him the mic. Ray is initially speechless then reminds Hogan that he’s injured with a partially torn quad. Hogan tells Ray he’s the toughest S.O.B. in the company. Ray thanks Hogan and says all he wanted was his respect. Ray says he wants to make Hulk happy as well as his wife by becoming the World Heavyweight Champion. Ray says they have bigger business to take care of, then suggests a six-man tag team match. On one side of the ring: three members of The Aces and 8’s. On the other: Ray, Sting, and…HULK HOGAN. Hogan says they have a deal and shakes Ray’s hand. “Not Quite the nWo Theme” kicks back up as the announcers are in disbelief.

• SEGMENT THOUGHTS: Nepotism for the win! This was heavily hinted at on last week’s show with Brooke lobbying for her husband so it wasn’t surprising (and about damn time Bully gets a title shot) but if I was one of the eight men who essentially wrestled for nothing I would raise a stink. That probably won’t happen though, unfortunately.

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Austin Aries and Bobby Roode talk backstage about their plan to take all the belts in TNA when they are interrupted by Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian. Daniels says they have a big eight-man tag tonight and Aries/Roode should follow their lead.

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-Commercial Break-

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Christopher Daniels & Frankie Kazarian make their way out for the first match of the evening, followed by the TNA World Tag Team Champions Austin Aries & Bobby Roode who enter to Roode’s music. Chavo Guerrero Jr. & Hernandez make their way out for the opposition, followed by Joseph Park who gets a huge pop and finally James Storm.

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Match #1: Chavo Guerrero Jr., Hernandez, Joseph Park, & James Storm Vs. Austin Aries, Bobby Roode, Christopher Daniels, & Frankie Kazarian

Storm and Daniels start the match off for their respective teams. Daniels with a side headlock and a shoulderblock after being whipped into the ropes. Storm responds with a back bodydrop and follows up by clotheslining Daniels out to the floor. Roode attacks Storm from behind and throws his former partner out to the floor. The other six participants make their way into the ring and brawl, with the good guys standing tall when the dust settles. The heels try to regroup as we go to commercial.

-Commercial Break-

Guerrero with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors takedown on Kazarian as we come back from break. Park tags in and the crowd goes wild. Park with a forearm in the corner but Kazarian pokes him in the eye. Park blocks an Irish whip and shakes off an attempted crossbody. Park turns his back, allowing Daniels to clip the knee. Kazarian brings Park to his team’s corner and slaps him in the face before hitting a forearm. Aries and Roode both tag themselves in and double-team Park before arguing with one another. They attempt a double suplex but Park sandbags them. Aries and Roode turn their attention to each other and Daniels tags himself in to bring some semblance of order. Daniels and Kazarian with a springboard legdrops, Kazarian now the legal man in the ring. Kazarian goes to tag Aries and Roode, but tags Daniels instead.

Daniels stomps the fallen Park and connects with a series of closed fists to the side of his face. Daniels rubs the sole of his boot in Park’s eyes before connecting with another right hand. Kaz, Aries, and Roode beg to be tagged in but Daniels says he’s got it. They all try to tag themselves in and all four start arguing with one another. Daniels and Kazarian whip Park into the corner but Park responds with a double clothesline. Daniels and Kazarian go for a tag but Aries and Roode bail on them.

While distracted Storm gets the hot tag and takes it to both members of Bad Influence. Closing Time for both members from Storm. Hernandez tags in and knocks Kazarian to the mat. Guerrero comes off the top with a Frog Splash. Storm drops Kazarian with a Last Call and Park hits a second-rope splash. Guerrero moves Park off and pins Kazarian for the 1…2…3.

Winners: Chavo Guerrero Jr., Hernandez, Joseph Park, & James Storm (12:19)

• MATCH THOUGHTS: A fun match due to everything besides the actual action. The bickering between all four of the heels was excellent and the ending sequence with all the good guys getting in their licks before making the pin was awesome. Also does England love Joseph Park or what? Guy’s reaction almost beat Hogan’s.

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-Commercial Break-

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LAST WEEK: British Bootcamp winner Rockstar Spud drops Robbie E with a right hand.

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Robbie E makes his way out to the ring alongside Robbie T. His opponent, the debuting Rockstar Spud makes his way out second to a good reception from his home country.

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Match #2: Rockstar Spud Vs. Robbie E [w/ Robbie T]

Robbie E takes advantage early with a series of stomps and a back elbow. Spud mounts a comeback with a dropkick, sending Robbie E into the corner. Spud goes for a splash but Robbie E gets his boot up. Robbie E ascends to the second turnbuckle and connects with a flying forearm right across Spud’s throat. Spud fights back with a series of rights but a knee to the gut stops the momentum. Robbie E whips Spud in the corner but misses a splash and is dropped with a series of clotheslines. Spud follows up with a tilt-a-whirl standing DDT then heads to the top turnbuckle. Spud misses the top rope legdrop and Robbie E tries to grab Robbie T’s clipboard. Robbie T refuses to let go and shakes his head. Spud takes advantage of the distraction and rolls Robbie E up for the 1…2…3.

Winner [via Pinfall]: Rockstar Spud (2:45)

• MATCH THOUGHTS: Those familiar with the British independent scene probably will chide me hardcore for this but Rockstar Spud did not impress me in the slightest. Size doesn’t matter but there’s small and there’s scrawny and he’s definitely the latter. Also a win over Robbie E doesn’t really mean anything anymore, let’s be honest.

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POST-MATCH: Robbie E berates Robbie T in the middle of the ring, slapping him in the face. Robbie T turns around, throws the clipboard down and takes off the cardigan. Robbie E makes a hasty exit as Robbie T stares him down intensely.

• THOUGHTS: Look just break them up already and stop wasting TV time with the slow-burn.

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-Commercial Break-

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Velvet Sky makes her way out for the first title match of the evening, a four-way elimination match for the Knockouts Championship. Gail Kim makes her way out second, Miss Tessmacher third, and finally the champ herself Tara out last without boyfriend Jessie Godderz in tow. Knockouts executive Brooke Hogan then makes her way out to oversee the action. The match is next!

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-Commercial Break-

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Match #3: Tara (c) Vs. Gail Kim Vs. Miss Tessmacher Vs. Velvet Sky in a Four-Way Elimination Match for the TNA Knockouts Title

Tessmacher and Kim fight in one corner, Sky and Tara in the other. Tara goes for a pin on Tessmacher for 2, then Sky rolls her up for another 2. Sky and Kim fight in the corner while Tessmacher tries a victory roll on Tara who reverses it into a victory roll. Tessmacher rolls out of the ring, and Tara/Kim take turns beating on her. Sky tries to fight back but Kim pearl harbors her to stop it. Tara with a corner splash on Sky and Kim follows up with the midsection splash. Tara with the tilt-a-whirl side slam for the 1…2…Kim breaks up the count for some reason. Kim and Tara start trading rights but Tara gets the advantage with a back bodydrop. Tara chokes Kim in the corner but misses a corner splash. Kim turns her attention to Tessmacher on the floor. Tessmacher reverses an attempted ringpost ram into a bulldog on the floor. Tessmacher rolls back in and it’s 2 on 1 against Tara. Tara tries to roll out but Sky grabs her on the apron. Tara drops her throat-first on the top rope, but Tessmacher brings Tara back into the ring. Tara suckers Tessmacher in then drops her throat-first on the ropes. Tara bodyslams Tessmacher then connects with a top-rope moonsault. Sky runs in and hits the “IN YO’ FACE!” but Kim breaks up the count and throws Sky out of the ring. Kim then pins Tara herself for the 1…2…3! Tara has been eliminated.

Tessmacher and Kim go toe to toe in the ring and Tara sadly stalks off. Tessmacher gets the advantage and heads to the top turnbuckle. Kim crotches Tessmacher and goes for a superplex but Sky runs up and powerbombs Kim as she suplexes Tessmacher. Sky covers Kim but only gets a 2, then tries Tessmacher and once again gets a 2. Sky goes for the “In Yo’ Face” but Tessmacher rolls her up. Sky reverses that roll-up into one of her own for the 1…2…3. Miss Tessmacher has been eliminated.

Kim immediately attacks Sky from behind as a “Let’s Go Velvet!” chant breaks out. Sky gets the boots up in the corner then repeatedly clotheslines Kim to the mat. Kim reverses an Irish whip but gets caught with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors takedown. Kim fights back with a running dropkick. Kim goes for the cover but ref Taryn Terrell breaks it up when she sees Kim using the ropes. Kim rams her shoulder in Sky’s midsection in the corner then goes for a splash but Sky moves and goes for a roll-up. Terrell yells at Kim to let go of the ropes as she tries to block the pin attempt, before finally ripping her off sending Kim to the mat. Sky follows up with the “In Yo’ Face!” for the 1…2…3. New champ. Gail Kim has been eliminated.

Winner and NEW Knockouts Champion [via Pinfall]: Velvet Sky (8:33)

• MATCH THOUGHTS: I’m not a Velvet Sky fan so I’m not really that excited for this but a lot of people seem to dig her so I won’t get all whiny about it. Maybe now that Sky is champion, and TNA can exploit the sex appeal, the Knockouts division will actually have something going on.

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Hulk Hogan and Sting are backstage getting ready for their upcoming six-man tag team match. They shake hands and Sting leaves the dressing room, running into Bully Ray. Ray makes sure Hogan is cool with this and Sting reassures him. Ray says he’s excited to be tagging with Hogan and Sting, and Sting says he’s happy to be tagging with Ray. Sting says “let’s tear some heads off” as we go to commercial.

-Commercial Break-

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A recap of AJ Styles’ bad year plays as Mike Tenay announces that we will get an update on Styles on next week’s show.

• THOUGHTS: Finally. I have missed AJ Styles far more than I admit.

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STORYLINE RECAP: Kurt Angle mentors Wes Brisco and Garett Bischoff but they end up being Aces and 8’s members. Also Samoa Joe is involved.

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Garett Bischoff makes his way out, Aces and 8’s music blaring, for the next match. His opponent, Samoa Joe, makes his way out second with an intense look on his face.

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Match #4: Samoa Joe Vs. Garett Bischoff

Joe charges in but Bischoff hides between the ropes to force the ref to create space. Joe tries for a kick and a clothesline but Bischoff ducks both and bails to the outside. Joe chases him back into the ring and Bischoff takes advantage with a series of axehandles. Joe mounts a mini-comeback but Bischoff pokes the eyes and clips the knee. Bischoff applies a leglock but lets it go quick. Bischoff works Joe over in the corner, but Joe doesn’t feel a thing. Joe hits a series of jabs but Bischoff takes Joe down and chokes him on the mat. Joe fights back with headbutts but Bischoff sticks the thumbs to his eyes before taking him down with a running shoulder tackle for 2. Bischoff with a side headlock but Joe elbows out. Bischoff rakes the eyes again but runs into a back elbow. Joe follows up with a series of clotheslines followed by a Yakuza kick and a running senton. Joe kicks Bischoff repeatedly in the corner ending with a running kick to the head. Joe sets up for the Muscle Buster, but out comes Wes Brisco to interfere and cause the DQ.

Winner [via Disqualification]: Samoa Joe (5:07)

• THOUGHTS: The finish was obvious from a mile away, but Joe did manage to get a watchable match out of Bischoff. And to Bischoff’s credit he totally one hundred percent fits as a heel. Just looking at him makes me angry.

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POST-MATCH: Brisco and Bischoff double-team Joe until Kurt Angle runs out and chases them off. Angle grabs a mic and says he’s happy he got Brisco a contract because the pain he’s going to inflict will be legal. Angle then says he and Brisco will face-off at Lockdown in a steel cage (obviously).

• THOUGHTS: Angle/Brisco might actually be a pretty good match so sign me up.

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-Commercial Break-

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Kenny King makes his way out for the next match of the evening. His opponent, TNA X-Division Champion Rob Van Dam, makes his way out second. Sorry to put you asleep by stating the obvious.

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Match #5: Rob Van Dam (c) Vs. Kenny King for the TNA X-Division Title

King attacks RVD before the bell, sending him out to the floor. King follows him out and rams him back-first into the ringpost before slamming him on the floor. King breaks the count and chokes RVD on the barricade while jawing with the fans. King rolls RVD back in and covers him for a 2-count. King connects with a bodyslam but RVD moves out of the way of the springboard legdrop. RVD kicks King into the corner then hits a series of shoulders to King’s midsection. King reverses a corner Irish whip but gets an elbow in the face during a splash attempt. RVD goes to the second turnbuckle but King pulls him off and mocks him before a pin attempt. King whips RVD into the ropes and connects with a spinning leg lariat for a 2-count. King continues the assault then plays to the crowd before going for another cover. 2-count.

King with a snap suplex, transitioning quickly into a full mount/strike combo. King goes for a couple of pins but only gets 2. RVD kicks King in the face while lying down but King quickly responds and rakes the eyes. King wraps RVD up in a seated abdominal stretch to wear him down. RVD gets to his feet and goes to break out but King connects with a forearm to the back. RVD catches King with a spinning leg lariat during a corner splash attempt. RVD rams King face-first into the corner then kicks him in the face. RVD follows it up with two clotheslines and a superkick. RVD goes for a corner monkey flip but King lands on his feet and responds quickly with running knees. King follows up with the Royal Flush (sort-of) and goes for the pin. 1…2…kick out!
King pulls the kneepads down and goes for more running knees but RVD moves out of the way. RVD follows up with the Rolling Thunder then finishes King off with the Five Star Frog Splash for the 1…2…3.

Winner and STILL X-Division Champion [via Pinfall]: Rob Van Dam (6:22)

• MATCH THOUGHTS: Kenny King is to Rob Van Dam as Dolph Ziggler is to John Cena. Just pull the damn trigger already, guys.

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We cut to the backstage area, where Brooke Hogan tries to talk Hulk Hogan out of wrestling tonight. Hogan says he needs to do this tonight for his family then hugs his daughter before heading out. Brooke tells Hogan to “have fun!” as he walks through the door.

• THOUGHTS: Yup he’s boned.

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-Commercial Break-

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Devon, Mr. Anderson, & D.O.C. make their way out for the main event, representing The Aces and 8’s. Sting makes his way out first for the opposing team. Bully Ray makes his way out second, sans Sting facepaint and the two head into the ring to scare the Aces and 8’s out of the ring. “Not Quite the nWo Theme” hits but Hulk Hogan is nowhere to be found. They kick up his theme song again but Hulk is still nowhere to be found.

• THOUGHTS: So since all six men aren’t out I guess that means the match won’t…oh the ref rang the bell? Nevermind.

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Main Event: Sting & Bully Ray Vs. The Aces and 8’s (Devon, D.O.C., & Mr. Anderson)

The Aces and 8’s attack Sting and Ray from behind as the bell rings. Devon and Anderson focus on Ray while D.O.C. attacks Sting. But the good guys fight back and take control as we go to commercial.

-Commercial Break-

The Aces and 8’s are still in control as we come back from break. D.O.C. tags in and repeatedly clubs Ray before pinning him for 2. D.O.C. continues the assault and knees the seated Ray in the face before tagging Devon in. Devon trash talks Ray then hits a running forearm drop. Anderson tags back in and continues to assault Ray in The Aces and 8’s corner. Ray tries to mount a comeback but the numbers are too great. D.O.C. tags in and does some damage before Devon quick tags in to do some more damage of his own. Devon applies a reverse chinlock but Ray escapes with a back suplex.

Ray goes for the tag but Devon holds on, tagging in Anderson who hits an elbow drop. Ray uses Anderson’s leather vest to get up but Anderson drops him once again. D.O.C. tags back in and hits a series of rights in the corner. Ray fights back with chops and the two repeatedly trade blows. Devon tags in as Sting tries to get the crowd to wake Ray up. Devon hits the ropes and runs into a spear. Sting finally gets the hot tag and lays waste to all three Aces and 8’s members. Sting ducks a clothesline and D.O.C. takes Devon down instead. Sting connects with a Scorpion Death Drop on D.O.C. for the 1…2…Anderson breaks up the count. Sting drops Anderson and sets up for Ray’s top rope headbutt, but out come The Aces and 8’s ringside who have Brooke Hogan and Hulk Hogan hostage. Ray runs out to scare them off and checks on Hulk while Sting eats a boot from D.O.C. for the 1…2…3.

Winners [via Pinfall]: The Aces and 8’s (11:26)

• MATCH THOUGHTS: Not even Bully Ray could save this match from being anything other than boring but hey…at least The Aces and 8’s finally won a match for once! Granted they had to outnumber Sting and distract his partner and everything but still…finally.

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POST-MATCH: Anderson, D.O.C., and Devon take turns attacking Sting while Ray and Brooke check on Hulk on the entrance ramp. The other Aces and 8’s members enter the ring and pose as the show cuts out.

*****
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