411’s WWE Smackdown Report 05.01.03

WWE Smackdown for May 1, 2003. Taped from Manchester, NH.
Report by Brad Jennette, EXCLUSIVELY for www.411wrestling.com

The video rolls, the pyro hits and we are TAPED FROM MANCHESTER… it’s WWE Smackdown for May 1, 2003.

This week I try out the Joe Somar grading system!

Los Guerreros vs. Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore
Guererros control the early portion of this match by working over the leg. Crash sneaks in a book shot and acts like he’s reading the book when the ref investigates. HAHA. Matt comes in and controls Eddie with some chokeholds and a full nelson. Eddie hits a suplex and tags out but the ref doesn’t see it and sends Chavo back to the corner. With the ref distracted, Team Mattitude hits a double dropkick on Eddie. Crash cheats again so Chavo dives on him from the apron. Eddie makes a comeback and hits the rolling suplexes on Matt but Shannon breaks it up. Matt and Shannon hit a double team neckbreaker as a pier 4 brawl breaks out. Chavo hits Matt with one of Team Angle’s title belts and Eddie finishes with the froggy style on Matt. Team Angle runs down and try to get their belts back but Los Guererros run off.
Winners: Los Guererros (C)

Backstage, Stephanie talks about the signing of Mr. America. She signed him without ever meeting him. Well that’s a great idea. Team Angle shows up and they want their belts back. Steph decided to make a tag team ladder match for the straps at Judgement Day. I’m so there.

Replay of the Big Show-Rey Jr conflict. That was still a pretty nasty bump Rey at Backlash.

Stephanie comes out of Mr. America’s locker room with a shocked look on her face. Who could it be?!?!

Big Show vs. Funaki
Funaki gets in a few hope spots like a missle dropkick and a tornado DDT but ends up getting big booted and clotheslined. This was a total squash.
Winner: Big Show (F)

In the back and production guy tell Stephanie that Vince is on his way to the arena.

Backstage, Big Show gets looked down upon for what he did to Rey. A-Train seemed to be the only one who thought it was cool.

And NOW the segment of the WEEK.

WORD LIFE! John Cena comes out and gives us some freestyle goodness. Brian Kendrick interrupts with total Flava Flav style old school rap gear on. I’m talking the clock around the neck and everything. He wanted to be known as Spanky from here on out. He also wants a rap battle with Cena. Spanky makes Brian Hebner start the beat (and its good!) and he cuts a hilarious rap with the crowd’s help. He pokes some fun at Cena’s haircut and that causes Cena to snap and beat the shit out of Spanky. Cena hits the DVD which has been renamed the FU and leaves to massive heel heat. This was pure awesomeness and my words don’t do it justice.

Backstage, the FBI con a stage hand out of his money with their magic dice.

Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. FBI
This started off as a singles match but turned the referee turned it into a tag team match between Chuck and Johnny vs Benoit and Rhyno after Nunzio ran in. The first part of the match was good but below average by Benoit’s standards. Benoit grabs a crossface off a reversed press slam but Stamboli makes the ropes. Stamboli dominates for a while but gets hit with a snap suplex and one leg of the german suplex trifecta. Benoit hits the flying heatbutt and Nunzio runs with a chair setting up the tag portion of the match.

This part was better. Rhyno starts out on fire, hitting Check with a clothesline and a belly to belly before getting distracted and superkicked. The heel take over and work the back as Tazz brings up how the back is also affected after neck surgery. Palumbo hits a belly to back suplex that gets a 2 count and Stamboli slaps on a BEARHUG! Rhyno escapes and tries to comeback but gets caught and cheapshotted again. Rhyno hits a spinebuster and makes the hot tag to Benoit who is a chopping machine. Stamboli gets bumped into the ref, taking him out as Benoit hits the GERMAN GERMAM….but Chuck holds onto the ropes on the last one and Benoit rolls him up. Nunzio pushes the pin over and the ref comes to and counts the slow pin.
Winners: Johnny and Chuck (C- for the singles match, B- for the tag match)

Backstage, Steph tries to call Vince but gets his voice mail. Brock arrives and they shoot the shit.

Kurt Angle hype video is shown complete with the old school NFL films type voiceover to the video.

Brock comes out and put Cena over for a tough battle at Backlash. Then in a twist, he actually shows some emotion and talks about how the Big Show will pay for what he did to Rey Rey. Show joins us and they make a match for Judgement Day. Why God Why!?

Mr. America debuts TONIGHT!

Team Angle vs. John Walters & Erin Stevens
Team Angle brings a picture of Kurt to the ring, complete with Kurt’s MEDALS along for the ride. Team Angle totally kills these kids with their leapfrog/splash combo and the star spangled blaster for the pin. These guys got less offense then Funaki. Team Angle demands Los Guererro’s return the tag team titles. The cheating faces come out and give up the belts but steal Kurt’s medals when Team Angle isn’t looking.
Winners: Team Angle (D , I like em too much to give em an F)

Torrie and Sable tease us with some lesbian like actions. They are tagging up tonight.

Torrie & Sable vs. Nidia & Dawn Marie
Torrie gets overwhelmed by the heels and Nidia works on the leg (!) after a chop block. Dawn hits a splash and goes back to the leg (!) and keeps on the leg. Dawn tries another splash but misses and Torrie goes for the tag….but Sable walks off the apron. Dawn grabs a….straight leg crab for the tap out. What the hell was that?
Winners: Dawn and Nidia (F)

Backstage, Vince arrives and Steph realizes her blunder over who she actually signed. Vince isn’t happy about it.

Piper’s Pit
Our guest is Holly….Mr. America. Piper gives the rub to O’Haire after his beating of Rikishi at Backlash when “Real American” hits the speakers. He walks, talks and acts JUST LIKE HOGAN!!! Piper’s reactions are awesome. Piper gets back on the stick and says that he really is Hogan but Mr. America thinks that is just ridiculous, brother. Mr. America starts going on a Jim Duggan-like rant about America when Vince comes out. He’s threatens to use legal action (see, a lawsuit) against Mr. America for violating the contract he made with him just a few weeks ago. Instead of doing that, Vince decided to FIRE Mr. America (YES!!!). Mr. America informs Vince he has an iron clad contract that says he can’t be fired or suspend. Vince gets pissed and tries to tear the mask off, but Mr. America fights him off. Mr. America fights off Piper and O’Haire as well and our show ends with Mr. America waving Old Glory as red, white and blue confetti falls from the sky.

End of Show.