CHIKARA Review: Young Lions Cup VI, Night III

The Young Lions Cup tournament concludes tonight, with Vin Gerard taking on Fire Ant in the finals. One of these two men will walk away tonight as the winner of the sixth annual Young Lions Cup tournament, and the ninth Young Lions Cup champion. This is also the final show in the American Legion Hall in Hellertown, PA, as the building was shortly demolished following this show. In addition the tournament finals, many of the wrestlers from the first two nights are back in order to further make themselves known in the world of CHIKARA. Which wrestlers will come out looking like stars? Why the heck did Mike Quackenbush attack Shane Storm at Night 2? And who will be the new Young Lions Cup holder?

Commentary provided by Mike Quackenbush, Ultramantis Black, Louden Noxious, Leonard F. Chikarason, Bryce Remsburg, Larry Sweeney, and Shayne Hawke.

The Fabulous Three (Larry Sweeney, Mitch Ryder, & Shayne Hawke) vs. The Soul Touchaz (Marshe Rockett, Acid Jaz, and Willie “da Bomb” Richardson)

C-Red says the Soul Touchaz are back, and even though they came up short in the Young Lions Cup tournament, tonight they are back to prove themselves. They do the “ugonmakemebuymesom” hand shake, and leave. Willie stays behind saying he wants to sing to the camera, but Marshe pulls him along.

C-Red fires up the crowd, then the Soul Touchaz do their awesome “ugonmakemebuymesom” handshake for the crowd. Willie and Menthol Mitch start off. Willie pushes Mitch to the mat, and Mitch tells the ref that Willie pulled his tights. They get back up and Willie pushes Mitch down again. Willie celebrates with a moonwalk which irritates Mitch. Mitch gets up and is greeted with an arm drag by Willie. Shayne comes in and gets an arm drag of his own. Larry comes in and is also greeted with an arm drag. Marshe and Jaz come in the ring and the Soul Touchaz do the handshake again. They try doing it one more time, but the Fabulous Three attack from behind. The Fabulous Three try whipping the Soul Touchaz to the ropes, but the Touchaz reverse. The Soul Touchaz catch the Three with arm drags, then scoop slams. The Fabulous Three roll to the outside and console one another. Shayne Hawke comes back into the ring with Marshe. All three Soul Touchaz however began busting out double team maneuvers to take down Shayne, forcing Shayne to leave the ring. Sweeney comes in with Acid Jaz. Jaz immediately takes it to Sweeney until Sweeney rakes him in the eyes. Jaz recovers however and takes down Sweeney with a side Russian leg sweep. Jaz comes off the ropes twice with two leg drops onto Sweeney. On his third time off the ropes, Jaz breakdances on the mat into a fist drop onto Sweeney! I love that spot. Willie comes in the ring and headbutts Sweeney, causing him to flee from the ring. Mitch comes in and Willie takes him down. Willie lowers Mitch to his knees while holding his arm. Willie tells Bryce that Shayne and Larry pulled his tights, and while distracted, Willie bites Mitch’s fist! Bryce comes back and Willie tells him that Shayne and Larry were talking smack about Bryce. Bryce goes over to them and Willie bites his fist once more! Willie picks up Mitch to work him over, but Mitch pokes him in the eyes. The Fabulous Three begins tagging in and out and working over Willie in the ring. Shayne even pulled out a red bandana and tied it around his head to mock the Soul Touchaz. Larry goes for a pin with his feet on the ropes, trying to justify it by saying Willie was much larger than him. Mitch comes in and begins ramming Willie’s head into all the corners. Instead of hurting Willie, this actually fires him up. Willie throws Mitch into a corner for a splash but hits the post as Mitch moves out of the way. Mitch goes for an elbow, but Willie moves away from it. Willie finally makes the tag to Marshe who comes in taking down the Fabulous Three. Shayne stops this by poking Marshe in the eyes and leaving him to Mitch. Willie comes back with a flurry of punches to Mitch. Marshe tags in Acid Jaz. Acid Jaz spits out Swiss Miss cocoa, but Mitch ducks and it hits Shayne in the face! Shayne falls off the apron and Mitch follows. Larry comes in looking to clothesline Jaz, but Jaz ducks, and Sweeney is caught by an Ace Crusher from Marshe! Willie Richardson then jumps off the top rope and nails Sweeney with a big leg drop from the top rope. This is enough to get The Soul Touchaz an impressive victory! Very fun and good opening contest. **3/4

Post-match, Mitch asks Sweeney what happened. Mitch mentions all of Sweeney’s losses and that Sweeney always has an excuse. Mitch says he and Shayne Hawke have been accumulating wins and may be even the next Campeones de Parejas, and that the only time they’re on the losing end of the stick, it’s because of Sweeney. Mitch says deductive reasoning has led him to believe that Sweeney is nothing but a loser. Mitch leaves Sweeney in the ring telling Sweeney that he can’t associate with losers. Sweeney looks deflated in the ring, but the crowd applauds as he leaves and goes to the back.

Jimmy Olsen vs. Lince Dorado

Jimmy immediately pounces at the bell but Lince jumps over him. Lince dropkicks him down twice, and Jimmy deflects the third attempt. Jimmy tries to rip Lince’s mask off but gets pushed away. Lince comes off the second rope with a moonsault for the two count. Jimmy goes to the outside. Lince runs at him and gets tripped. Jimmy nails Lince with a hard elbow and some chops on the outside. He drops Lince on the apron, and Lince rolls back in. Jimmy once again tries to rip the mask off, but to no avail. Jimmy follows up with a stomp to Lince. Lince and Jimmy exchange chops, then Jimmy takes Lince down in the corner. Jimmy goes for a pin but only gets two. Jimmy locks a headlock onto Lince on the mat. Lince gets back to this feet and monkey flips Jimmy over. He goes for a standing moonsault, but Jimmy catches him with the knees. Jimmy continues to attack Lince while he lay on the mat. They get to their feet and Lince comes back with a flurry of chops. Jimmy however pushes Lince into the corner and gets him back down. Jimmy gets thrown to the ropes but banderas Lince to the apron. Jimmy again tries to pull of Lince’s mask but Lince fights out if it. Lince jumps off with a beautiful flying body press onto Jimmy! Lince follows up with a spnning heel kick and dropkick. He then begins chopping Jimmy in the corner. Lince catches Jimmy with a big flying knee in the corner and follows up with a bulldog. Lince hits a springboard moonsault for a two count only. Lince looks for the flip Urinagi, but Jimmy elbows out of it. Jimmy attempts the Overbomb but Lince gets out of that. Jimmy sends Lince to the ropes and attacks with a body block. Jimmy hits a great missile dropkick off the top rope for a two count. Jimmy picks up Lince off the mat trying to take off the mask. Lince catches Jimmy with an Enzugiri but only for the two count. After a small exchance, Lince hits the flipping Enzugiri into a submission! Jimmy grabs Bryce by his shirt and tosses him the other direction. Jimmy pulls off Lince’s mask, causing Lince to release the hold and cover up his face. Jimmy reverses the hold into a pinfall and the victory! Bryce notices that Lince’s mask was taken off, but it was too late to do anything official about it. Lince puts a poncho he was wearing over his head and puts his mask back on under that. Really great match; fun times! ***1/4

Mike Quackenbush Interview

Louden brings out Quack saying he has some explaning to do after attacking Shane Storm last night. Because this interview is extremely crucial for today’s current CHIKARA storylines, I feel it is only fair to share the entire speech with you. So here, verbatim, is Quack’s interview:

“I asked Leonard Chikarason if I could have a couple of minutes to come out here for an explanation for some stuff that went down yesterday. And when I am done, I am going to ask for an explanation of my own. I also want to take this time to apologize to official Bryce Remsburg as I certainly lost my cool after the match last night. No offense, Bryce.

About two months ago, after a show called “Deuces Wild” here, a group of the usual suspects and I got together in the back to get dinner after the show, swap stories, talk about the matches, all that usual business. Conspicuous by his absence was Tim Donst. One of the guys told me during the show, Donst had got dropped on his head and left with Ultramantis Black and his cronies. Tim Donst is a friend of mine, one of my students, and a guy I care about. So I got on my phone, I called him a couple of times, he did not pick up. And let me assure you there are few people that appreciate the seriousness of head injuries like I do. I called him, no answer, I called him, no answer, but the next day he picked up. He told me he had spent the whole night listening to Ultramantis Black trying to persuade him that he belonged in the Neo-Solar Temple. When Tim Donst said that, an unusual opportunity presented itself.

Because at the end of 2007, on one of the episodes of our Podcast, Utramantis Black briefly remarked that he knew how Chris Hero came to know the reversal to the CHIKARA Special. He said it in such a way that most people wouldn’t remember it. But that though plagued me since the night I heard it. Since the night those words came out of Ultramantis’ mouth. So in that phone conversation, on that afternoon, Tim Donst and I hatched a little plan. Because, if we were to find out how the counter to the CHIKARA Special made it from our Tecnico session on a Tuesday night to Chris Hero, there was no one in a better place to figure it out than Tim Donst.

The CHIKARA Special, which I am willing to say the majority of the people in the room have not been in it, is a hold of solid nuance. And if you were put in it once or twice, maybe you could figure out how to put it on for yourself. But you could not know…you could NOT know the exact counter that I taught to my guys. You just couldn’t. And at “The Sordid Perils of Everyday Existence”, I saw Chris Hero use that exact counter in this ring. It was then I knew we had a traitor in our midst. So after eight weeks of vegan treats and 80’s face paint, Tim Donst, my inside man Tim Donst, heard the name we had been waiting to hear. And he made a b-line to ringside and he put it in my ear. And when I heard it, I could not believe. I did not want to believe what he was saying to me. And I looked across the ring, I looked at Shane Storm, and I knew it had to be true. I don’t know why; but Shane Storm, it’s time for you to face the music. So come on out here, because you owe me, and half the boys in the back, an explanation right now.

…Shane Storm, can you hear my voice?”

Leonard F. Chikarason comes out to tell Mike that he looked everywhere in the back, and he is not here. Chikarason says he never saw him and he had been there all day.

Quack says “If he’s not here, than that’s fine. Because he lives only 15 minutes from here.” Quack then tosses the mic to Chikarason, takes out his car keys, and leaves through the back door. This was AMAZING. Everything Quack said made sense, and it put all these current storylines into perspective. So much awesome; this is worth purchasing the DVD alone.

F.I.S.T. (Icarus, Gran Akuma, & Chuck Taylor) vs. Sami Callihan, Steve “The Turtle” Weiner, & Ultimo Breakfast

Someone made Burger King crowns that say “Kingston” on them, and Chuck puts one on his head. Callihan chases Chuck around the American Legion Hall, even under the ring! Ultimo and Icarus start off with the crowd chanting “WAFFLE HOUSE!” The two men go back and forth with Ultimo catching Icarus. Ultimo “mixes the batter” as he spins Icarus round and round, then nails him with the flapjack. Both men roll out of the ring, tagging in Akuma and Callihan. These two do an intense lock up and carry it all around the ring. These two go back and forth exchanging technical holds. These two men then beat the piss out of each other with kicks and chops. They try to exchange some more holds but each man ducks everything their opponent throws at them. Akuma rolls out of the ring and both men receive applause from the crowd. Sami tags in Turtle who comes in opposite Chuck Taylor. Turtle knocks Chuck down to the mat, and Chuck puts out his hand for the shake. After asking the fans for a handshake, he eventually does so. Chuck rakes the Turtle’s eyes. Steven however comes off the ropes and clotheslines Chuck to the mat! Ultimo is tagged on and he locks on a prawn hold. Icarus then locks one on Ultimo, Callihan locks one on Icarus, and Akuma locks it on Callihan. Turtle turns over Chuck with a boston crab which causes everyone to turn over! Akuma grabs the ropes which breaks the hold. Icarus and Chuck double dropkick Turtle to the outside, and Akuma tosses Callihan outside as well leaving Ultimo Breakfast alone with F.I.S.T. Akuma kicks Breakfast in the face, Icarus hits him the back cracker, and Chuck comes off with a backsplash! All this only leads to a two count. This starts the beginning of F.I.S.T. isolating Breakfast. All three men take turns tagging in and out to beat on Breakfast while taunting their opponents and the fans. Akuma almost had the two count with the Cheetah Swipe, but Sami jumped in to break it up. Sami even told Icarus straight up “I am going to stab you!” during the match, which was awesome. Akuma dropkicked Breakfast into his corner by accident letting Turtle tag in. This starts of barrage of wrestlers coming in and out. The tecnicos take out Akuma, leaving Breakfast and Icarus in the ring. Icarus goes for a pedigree, but it’s turned into the “He’s Toast” Razor’s Edge by Breakfast! Breakfast only gets the two count. Icarus manages to nail the Pedigree on Breakfast, but the count gets broken up by Turtle. Akuma and Callihan jump in and begin beating the holy hell out of one another. Everything you can think off from hard chops, hard kicks to the chest, head dropping, and giant kicks to the head all no sold by these two. It ended with both men getting to their feet then just collapsing from the pain. Such an awesome spot this was. Weiner throws all Icarus, Chuck Taylor, and Ultimo Breakfast to the floor to join Sami Callihan and Gran Akuma. Turtle then falls off the apron onto all five men. Sami and Icarus come back first into a scuffle. Icarus tosses Sami into the corner, and from out of nowhere all three F.I.S.T. members hit a double enzuigiri and dropkick onto Sami at the same time. Icarus and Chuck hit Sami with a double stomp/Death Valley Driver combination, and Akuma follows up with a moonsault heabdutt. Akuma picks up Sami for a Falcon Arrow to earn F.I.S.T. the victory! This was a surprisingly great match, with Sami and Akuma being the stars of the show. ***1/2

Ethan Page vs. Tim Donst

Donst asks Ultramantis how he could be so naïve. He wants to know if Mantis really thought that no one would call him to check up on him after Deuces Wild. He wants to know Ultramantis really thought the fans would forget about him or that he would forget he loved apple pie. He said being with the Order wasn’t too bad; he was undefeated, he obtained three points with Hydra, and he learned some new tricks. He said he was going to use those tricks against Ethan Page tonight, and after that he was coming after Ultramantis for revenge.

Donst comes out to his old music, but comes out with Hydra and still has his black Neo-Solar Temple robe. He takes off the robe to reveal his old Mt. Rushmore tights and a haircut! Hydra is also pumped up for him! The fans chant “USA!” as they welcome back the old Tim Donst. Donst asks for a handshake, but Ethan Page slaps him instead. Donst then forces Ethan to shake his hand before Donst slaps him! Donst takes Ethan Page up for a Shiranui, but clips his neck on the top rope instead. Donst calls Hydra over, and Hydra plays air drums while Donst plays air guitar! Ultramantis marches out to ringside, grabs Hydra by the arm, and drags him out of the arena through the back. Meanwhile, Ethan Page has Tim Donst on the mat. Ethan gets Donst into the ropes, chops him, pelvic thrusts, chops him twice more, then throws Donst to the ropes. Ethan goes for a hip toss, and Donst looks to reverse. Ethan says he doesn’t like where this is leading, so he pulls a remote control out of his tights and presses rewind. Donst and Ethan rewind all the way back to the very first chop when Ethan decides to press play. They go all the way back to Donst countering the hip toss, when Ethan says “I knew this was coming!” and rakes Donst in the eyes. Ethan follows up with his own hip toss on Donst. Ethan takes the advantage beating down Donst. Ethan hits a mighty cool brainbuster/X-Factor type move. Ethan ends up outside of the ring jaw-jacking with the fans, and is caught with a dive through the middle ropes by Donst! Donst comes back in and Ethan works him over. Ethan nails the Doctor Bomb but only gets the two. Ethan tries to whip Donst to the ropes, but Donst turns it into the Donstitution for the victory! Good match between these two Young Lions. **3/4

The Osirian Portal vs. Sara Del Ray & Bobby Dempsey

Ophidian reminds us all that he made Bobby pass out at Café Culture. Amasis asks Sara Del Ray to go back to Egypt with him to be his queen. He says he can offer her his laundry, and to cook his dinner. Who could turn down such a flattering offer? Well, Sara can and did. Sara pushes down Amasis, who tells Ophidian to take her down. Sara uses her mat prowess to keep Ophidian down, even rolling him up for a two. Ophidian gets Sara in the corner, and runs up her body. Ophidian slips off and lands right on his head. Sara goes for a clothesline, but Ophidian bends backwards to avoid it. Sara nails Ophidian sending him outside. Amasis tends to his partner on the outside before getting in the ring. Amasis tells Sara he wants Bobby, so Sara tags out. Amasis requests a test of strength in which Bobby crushes him in. Amasis immediately drops down to his knees yelping. Amasis tries to attack Bobby but keeps bouncing off his massive frame. Sara comes in, and Sara kicks Amasis. Amasis bounces off Bobby’s stomach, and Sara kicks him back into Bobby’s stomach. This repeats until Ophidian jumps in. They get a tiny advantage, until Bobby and Sara hit each Portal member with a chest bump sending the Portal outside. Sara and Bobby chest bump each other in celebration. The Portal comes back in and takes down Sara with a double team face-first STO. The Osirian Portal took turns tagging and out to wear down Sara. Everything from keeping her on the mat with submission holds and locks to choking her in the corner. On many occasions Sara crawled over to her corner to tag Bobby, but The Portal managed to stop her every time. One moment had Sara biting the toes of Amasis in order to escape over to her corner, but even then Amasis was able to recover quickly enough to stop her. Ophidian was in the ring attack Sara in her own corner when Bobby tripped Ophidian and threw him out of the ring. This gave Sara the chance to finally tag in Bobby! Bobby comes in and takes down both members of the Portal. Ophidian thwarts Bobby with double knees of the top rope. Ophidian and Sara then begin going back and forth. Sara locks the Royal Butterfly onto Ophidian, but Ophidian elbows her in the head to relieve some pressure. Ophidian uses this to wrap on his own submission. Amasis takes down Bobby with a shoulder off the middle rope. Sara manages to get up and crash Ophidian into the corner. Amasis and Ophidian fight back against Sara, knocking her into the corner with the wheelbarrow arm drag shoulder block combination. They follow up with the Pyramid Plex on Sara, but Bobby breaks up the pin. Bobby attacks both members of the Portal into opposite corners. He pulls down the straps and crashes into Amasis with the cannonball. He tries the same with Ophidian, but Ophidian slithers out of the way to the apron. Ophidian leaps over Bobby for a sunset flip. Bobby crashes his weight down with an Earthquake Splash for the pin on Ophidian! Excellent match here, and Bobby and Sara now have two points! ***1/4

Eddie Kingston vs. Soldier Ant

This match is a nice little throwback to the BLK OUT vs. Colony feud from 2007. The two begin slapping the piss out of one another with Kingston getting the advantage. Kingston takes Soldier Ant down to the mat, making him carry his weight. Kingston locked on a submission, and when asked if he wanted to submit, Soldier Ant replied “Sir no Sir!” The entire story of this match was Soldier Ant doing his best to fight back but Kingston getting the advantage almost always. Soldier Ant would show his guts by slapping Kingston across the chest, but Kingston would hit him that much harder. Soldier Ant took Kingston to the outside where two men exchanged blows, but Kingston smacked Soldier so hard in the face that Kingston easily was able to toss him back in the ring. Kingston beat up on Soldier some more till Soldier threw Kingston out of the ring. Soldier Ant followed up with two consecutive dives to get some semblance of control. Soldier Ant got knocked down again by Kingston in the ring with two enormous suplexes, but the claps from the Chikarmy helped him get back up. Soldier Ant came back with saluting forearms to Kingston. Soldier Ant followed up with a saluting headbutt for the two count. Once back to their feet, Kingston went for another suplex. Soldier Ant grabbed the ropes to block. Eddie let go and nailed Soldier Ant square in the face with the Backfist to the Future! Eddie easily picks up the victory after that. Fans chant “PURPLE HEART!” at Soldier Ant for his effort. Surprisingly hard hitting contest between these two. ***1/4

Brodie Lee vs. Drake Younger

Brodie is muttering Claudio’s name. Brodie then simply states “DRAKE YOUNGER! WRONG PLACE. WRONG TIME!” and leaves.

This is a match that you would not be surprised to know how hard hitting it was. And my God was it ever!

Before Drake gets in the ring, Brodie comes out and the two start wailing on each other. Drake delivers some chops to Brodie around the ring, and Brodie comes right back with thrusts right to throat. Drake slams Brodie’s face against the mat. Drake hops up to the apron and jumps right off with a senton to the standing Brodie. The two men continue beating one another, till Drake tosses Brodie into the ring. Drake comes at Brodie with a hard knee to the face. Drake beats on Brodie and takes him to the apron. Drake is now standing on the apron with Brodie inside the ring. Drake looks to suplex Brodie outside of the ring to the hard floor. Brodie thrusts Drake right in the throat to escape. Brodie grabs Drake by the throat and chokeslams him hard onto the apron!!! Seriously, this was nuts. Drake twisted in mid-air and landed on the side of his face and ribs. Nasty stuff. Brodie stomps away at Drake on the mat. Drake tries to fight back, but too much wind was knocked out of his sails from the chokeslam. Drake fights his way up, and Brodie catches him with a pump handle release suplex onto Drake’s head! Drake no sells and fights his way up. Drake locks one of Brodie’s legs. Drake nails a leg sweep in which Brodie also lands right on his head! Both men get to their feet and exchange slaps. Then they go after one another with a headbutt. Both men’s heads collide sending them both to the mat. Both men get up exchanging hard forearms. Brodie gets the advantage at the final second. Brodie goes for a big boot, but Drake catches it. Drake nails a suplex on Brodie but only gets a two count. Brodie and Drake fight some more with Brodie reversing a toss to the ropes. Brodie catches Drake with a Black Hole Slam and follows up with the Liger bomb! Brodie shockingly gets a two count only. Drake gets up in the corner. Brodie runs at him with the big boot, but Drake moves out of the way. Brodie crotches himself in the corner. Drake attacks Brodie hitting him multiple times in the head with his elbow. Drake lifts up Brodie for the Drake’s Landing, but Brodie slides off and pushes Drake to the corner. Brodie finally smacks Drake in the face with the Big Boot for the victory! Drake got a big standing ovation and a very loud “PLEASE COME BACK!” chant from the crowd. My lord this was fun. This was the most hard-hitting five and a half minute match you’ll ever see, bar none. ***1/2

Incoherence (Delirious & Hallowicked) vs. The Super Smash Bros. (Player Uno & Stupefied)

Stupefied is speaking in French to Player Uno. Uno replies to Stupefied by saying “Yes Stupefied, grilled cheeses ARE amazing!” He then adds the world record for the amount of grilled cheeses eaten in two minutes is 67. Uno says that all their attempts for points up to this point have been practice, but tonight is serious since they are facing the current Campeones de Parejas. They say they will earn their first point tonight! They once again miss a high five causing Uno to say “God, we suck!” This was awesome.

Delirious freaks out at the bell sending SSB to the floor. Delirious sings the Mario song like only he can, while running around the ring. Uno comes in to start things off. Delirious laughs at Uno for only being 8-bit, citing that he and Hallowicked are 1080 P. Delirious tells Uno to live in the now. Delirious also comments to Hallowicked that Genesis is cooler than him. Uno is in pain hearing this news, and a small portion of fans chant “NES!” to help out Uno. Delirious responds by trying to get fans to chant “SEGA CD!” Delirious and Uno then get into a verbal debate whether or not Sega CD sucked or not. They continue discussing many video game consoles, until Delirious says it’s time to wrestle. Delirious gets Uno in a wrist lock and headbutts his hand. Delrious says “Neogeo!” and takes Uno to the mat with an armbar. Uno gets up into a waist lock and says “Super Nintendo!” Delirious turns it around and says “Turbografx 16!” Uno gets Delirious in a headlock, but Delirious pushes Uno off the ropes. Uno yells “Nintendo 64!” as he runs off the ropes looking for a shoulder tackle. Delirious blocks and yells “3DO!” at Uno, much to the fans delight. Delirious goes for a shoulder block, but Uno blocks this one and yells “Wii!” Delirious and Uno then argue about Wii, until Delirious yells “PRINCESS PEACH IS A TRAMP!” The crowd goes “oh!” and Hallowicked hops around on the apron doing the universal “oh shit, you got served” hand motion. Bryce Remsburg falls down in the corner in disbelief. Uno gets pissed and slaps Delirious across the face. Uno is yelling at Delirious, but as Delirious stands up, he accidentally pauses Uno in place. Delirious gets confused, even blowing on the side of Uno like the old NES cartridges. Delirious goes to Hallowicked for help, but Stupefied walks in and un-tags Uno. Uno goes to attack but Delirious takes Uno down and tags in Hallowicked. The two use some lucha going back and forth, until Uno catches him with a giant Hadoken, which causes Hallowicked to leap in the air to the mat. Uno picks up Hallowicked and tags in Stupefied. Hallowicked and Stupefied put on a really awesome back and forth display with both men looking strong. Hallowicked catches Stupefied with a step-up Frankensteiner, but Stupefied tosses Hallowicked to the outside with a Frankensteiner of his own. Stupefied follows up with a dive through the middle rope onto Hallowicked. Uno and Delirious come in the ring as the legal men. Delirious gets the advantage, until Uno tosses Delirious over his shoulder. Delirious lands on his feet and hurts his foot. Uno hits a kneeDT on Delirious and tags in Stupefied. The Super Smash Bros. begin making frequent tags, isolating Delirious in the corner. Both men come in the ring double teaming Delirious. Delirious evades a clothesline from Uno, who ends up hitting Stupefied! Delirious rolls to his corner and tags in Hallowicked. Hallowicked comes in beating on Stupefied, until he tags in Uno. Hallowicked tags in Delirious who comes in working on Uno with kicks. Uno grabs Delirious’ bad leg and dragon screws him down to the mat. Stupefied comes in who dropkicks Delirious bad leg, then puts it in a submission. Stupefied tags in Uno. Uno tries to come off the top rope, but Delirious catches him with a headbutt to the stomach. Delirious tags in Hallowicked, and Stupefied also comes in. Hallowicked knocks Stupefied down, but Stupefied comes back with a spinwheel kick. Hallowicked catches Stupefied with a big chokeslam to the mat for the two count. Delirious comes back in to team up. Delirious puts Stupefied on his shoulders and tosses him in Hallowicked’s direction. Hallowicked catches him with the Go To Sleepy Hollow, but only gets the two count again. Incoherence tries to throw Stupefied into the ropes, but Stupefied stops and backflips into two kicks, one to each Incoherence member. Stupefied helps Uno perform a double Shiranui on Incoherence, but Uno only gets a two count on Delirious. The SSB perform a double ace crusher on Delirious, and Hallowicked makes the save during the pin. Hallowicked is hit with a tandem reverse DDT, and only get the two. SSB hits the Alabama Slam/lung blower combination! Delirious makes the save getting SSB only a two count. SSB throw Hallowicked to the corner, and the two begin bickering as to what move to perform. Stup tosses Uno the corner, but Hallowicked tosses him to the apron. Hallowicked elbows Stup who runs into him, then turns to Uno who is climbing up top and punches him. Hallowicked goes up top for a suplex. Uno pushes Hallowicked off the top, and Hallowicked walks into a superkick from Stupefied! Uno then nails the M. Bison Stomp on Hallowicked! Stupefied picks up Hallowicked for the Final Smash, but Hallowicked pushes Stupefied into Uno! Stupefied runs at Hallowicked, but Hallowicked ducks. Stupefied accidentally nails Uno with double knees to the chest! Hallowicked catches Stupefied with an AWESOME Yakuza kick, then the Rydeen Bomb on Uno. Delirious follows up with the Chemical Imbalance #2 on Uno, and that’s good enough for a three count! Awesome tag team match with hilarious stuff. Love it, love it, love it. ***3/4

2008 Young Lions Cup Tournament Finals
Vin Gerard vs. Fire Ant

Fire Ant comes out to “Heat of the Moment” by Asia, in a PIMP new neon-orange costume. The two take the ceremonial YLC finals picture with Leonard F. Chikarason and official Bryce Remsburg. Bryce holds the cup up for all to see.

Vin Gerard slaps Fire Ant before the bell rings. The bell rings, and Fire Ant attacks Vin in the corner. Fire Ant comes at him with a barrage of chops then tosses Vin from post to post. Fire Ant nails a cannonball in the corner then tries to lift up Vin for the Beach Break. Vin however rolls to the outside to avoid it. Fire Ant dives through the second rope onto Vin, then beats him on the ground. Fire Ant stalks Vin around the ring slapping him multiple times. Fire Ant tries to lift Vin up for a Fireman’s carry, but Vin rips at his mask to get out. Vin beats on Fire Ant then rams him back first into the ring post. Vin tosses Fire Ant back in the ring and begins slamming his skull against the mat. Vin lifts up Fire Ant by the feelers and suplexes him back to the mat. Vin locks on a headlock and picks up Fire Ant. He attempts a suplex on Fire Ant, but Fire Ant turns it into a pin for two. Fire Ant rolls him up again for a two. Fire Ant goes for his wheelbarrow stunner, but Vin nails a wheelbarrow suplex instead! Vin gets a two count. Worker Ant hobbles out on his crutch to support his fellow stable mate! The fans chant “FIRE ANT!” as Vin chokes Fire Ant using the ropes, and his hands. Vin stomps away at Fire Ant when Soldier Ant comes out to lend his support. The locker room begins emptying out with every masked Tecnico coming to Fire Ant’s aide. Fire Ant works his way up and hits Vin Gerard with multiple fireman’s carries. Vin throws Fire Ant in the corner. He leaps up to the top looking for a back flip, but Vin runs in with his signature hip check to Fire Ant’s face. Vin hits the hip check once again, but gets a two count. Vin mocks the crowd by chanting “Come on Ants!” as Fire Ant lay on the mat. Vin chops Fire Ant and slams him in the corner. Fire Ant tries to hulk up, but kicks him back down. Vin whips Fire Ant to the opposite corner, and once more he tries to hulk up. Vin chops him and tosses him again, but Fire Ant hulks up! Vin attempts to beat him down twice, but Fire Ant attacks back both times. Fire Ant goes up top, but Vin pushes Bryce into the ropes causing Fire Ant to crotch himself on the top rope! Vin and Fire Ant both end up on the apron, and Fire Ant takes Vin down with a fireman’s carry off the apron to the floor! Both Fire Ant and Vin lay on the ground trying to regain composure. Fire Ant gets in the ring at the count of seven, while Vin milks his time on the outside, coming in at the count of eighteen. Fire Ant immediately pounces on him, but only gets a two count. Fire Ant chops away and hits his wheelbarrow stunner. He follows up with an AMAZING flying Enzuigiri off the top rope! Fire Ant follows up with a back senton on Vin off the top, but only gets a two count! Everyone claps and slaps the mat as Fire Ant beats on Vin in the corner. Fire Ant tosses Vin to the other side. Fire Ant follows, but Vin grabs his leg and locks in the STF! As he lay on the mat, the fans chant “FIRE!” with all their might. Vin hits two consecutive powerbombs but only gets the two count. Vin tries to mock the Tecnicos by locking in the CHIKARA Special, but Fire Ant rolls him over. Vin goes for a powerbomb again, but Fire Ant turns it into the Beach Break! Fire Ant goes for the pin 1-2-no! Vin kicks out at the last second. Fire Ant chops Vin and puts him on the top rope. Fire Ant looks for the Beach Break off the top, but Vin reverses with a huge powerbomb. Even with his feet on the ropes, Vin only gets a two count. Vin locks on the STF again with the fans chanting “FIRE!” and “PLEASE DON’T TAP!” Bryce lifts Fire Ant’s arm. It drops once…twice…Fire Ant resists the third time! Vin Gerard picks up Fire Ant and curb stomps him three times into the mat! Vin locks on the STF once more. Bruce checks him arm, but Fire Ant makes sure his arm doesn’t even go down once! Fire Ant grabs the ropes, but Vin rolls with him to the outside of the ring. Vin locks on the STF on the outside of the ring on the floor! Vin reminds everyone he has till twenty. After having the STF locked on for awhile, Vin drags Fire Ant’s lifeless body away from the ring and gets back in the ring at the count of thirteen. Fire Ant takes some time to get consciousness, but gets in the ring at the count of nineteen! The fans go absolutely bat shit insane in a surreal CHIKARA moment. In a state of disbelief, Vin goes for his standing Shooting Star Press! He hasn’t done that move since he was Equinox! He misses, and Fire Ant hits Vin with two big Enzugiri’s. Fire Ant hits Vin Gerard with a Burning Hammer, but Vin gets right back up no selling! Fire Ant picks up Vin Gerard and nails the Beach Break for the three count! Fire Ant is the new Young Lions Cup Champion! Holy cow; that was the best match I may have ever seen in CHIKARA history. Holy crap. You have got to see this; sweet lord. ****1/2

All the masked Tecnicos hit the ring, lifting up Fire Ant with the cup and hugging him. The fans all stand and applaud while chanting “FIRE ANT!” The Colony rolls a knocked out Vin Gerard to the floor while the celebration goes on.

The 411: The main event of this show justifies your purchase entirely. The emotion, the crowd reaction, the story behind the match, and the in ring performance of both men are all out of this world. It is such a surreal thing to watch; I really dig it. If that isn’t good enough for you, Quackenbush’s storyline-crucial interview, the six man tag with F.I.S.T., Drake vs. Brodie, and Incoherence vs. The Super Smash Bros. should also sway you to buy this one. This is right up there with AniversarioCT folks; go get this damn DVD.

Final Score:  9.5   [  Amazing ]