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The Gratuitous B-Movie Column: Blue World Order
The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Issue #446: Blue World Order
Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that has never had to Taser itself to make sure it stays alive because, well, Tasers hurt like hell, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number four hundred and forty-six, I take a look at the new low budget post-apocalyptic sci-fi movie from Australia, Blue World Order, which is available on Amazon right now.
Blue World Order
Blue World Order, directed by Che Baker and Dallas Bland, is a confusing yet ambitious low budget sci-fi epic from Australia. It’s kind of choppy at times and way too long, but what it lacks in sense it makes up for it in sheer effort by both cast and crew. I’d imagine that if the movie is deemed a box office success, that the world will witness more stories within the Blue World Order.
The movie stars Jake Ryan as Jake Slater, a badass single father trying to survive in a world ravaged by both nuclear war and a bacteria that has somehow killed all of the world’s children. Well, all of the children expect Jake’s daughter Molly (Billie Rutherford). Molly isn’t running around with her father, though, scavenging for food and running from hunters and whatnot. Molly was rendered unconscious via a weird blue light while her father was attacked by a street gang and as the movie begins we find out that Molly has been “out” for two years. He feeds her, but since she’s out cold he can’t interact with her.
One day, Jake finds a camp of survivors led by a Dr. Harris (Jack Thompson). The survivors aren’t wearing masks, which is disturbing as Jake wears a mask so he doesn’t get infected by the bacteria. Why aren’t these camp people wearing masks? Jake brings Molly to the camp and finds out that the reason the camp survivors don’t have to wear masks is they’ve been infected with an “antidote” that makes them immune to the bacteria but also makes them the slaves of The Order, the new worldwide government. Basically, if anyone gets out of line, the Order will allow the antidote to kill them. At least I think that’s what’s going on.
Anyway, Dr. Harris is intrigued by the mere fact that Molly isn’t dead and hatches a scheme to knock out Jake so he can examine Molly and find out why she managed to survive the bacteria. When Jake finds out what the hell is really going on at the camp, he kicks a bunch of ass and gets Molly out of there. At the same time, local weirdo Madcap (Stephen Hunter) decides to tag along with Jake and convince him to go to the Tower, which serves as the headquarters of the Order. Madcap believes that a man with Jake’s ass kicking abilities can enter the Tower and, in essence, destroy it. If the Tower is destroyed, the Order won’t be able to control the world and its remaining population anymore. Madcap is a bit of an explosives expert, having built bombs for Jake to use to take out the Tower, but he doesn’t have the necessary skills, or moxie, to do it on his own. Jake isn’t all that interested in taking out the Tower at first, but he eventually agrees to do it when he realizes that the world sucks and there’s a real chance he might be able to change things. Maybe.
While all of that is going on, Master Crane (Billy Zane), the leader of The Order, is overseeing the creation of a new mind control regiment. With the help of ace scientist Marion Conners (Bolude Fakuade), this new mind control regiment will essentially allow the Order total control over the surviving population for the rest of human time. Will Jake be able to destroy the Order Tower before the new control apparatus is dispersed?
Now, had Blue World Order been about Jake trying to destroy the Tower and fighting off Billy Zane’s Master Crane and that’s it, the movie might have been a modern low budget classic. Maybe. Again, there’s quite a bit of plot going on in this movie, some of which I don’t think I completely understand. There’s a sort of “big twist” towards the end that essentially changes everything we thought we knew up until that point, a twist that the movie doesn’t really need. Again, had it been all about Jake destroying Master Crane’s The Order, Blue World Order would probably be awesome or damn close to it. Instead, what we have is a pretty good epic. Not great, but pretty good. And that’s okay.
When you look at Blue World Order, it’s amazing what directors Baker and Bland managed to pull off. The post-apocalyptic landscape is appropriately desolate where it needs to be and kind of lush in other areas. The Dr. Harris camp looks like a refugee camp. And the Tower is a nice mix of practical set and low budget CGI. Most of the special effects look quite good, especially the blue lighting effects. I’m also a big fan of the “blue eye” effect that happens when people die via The Order mind control. I mean, it’s just an up close CGI effect, eyes changing colors, but it still looks great.
The editing and transitions could have been a little more consistent. There are times where scenes shift smoothly, and there are times where scenes just stop and then start up again, like there’s a little one or two second scene missing. That doesn’t happen often but when it does it can be quite jarring.
And then there’s the ending. While it sets up a sequel, which I’m all for, I’m not sure I agree with the way it sets up that sequel. At the same time, had the script been streamlined a bit and made easier to understand maybe the ending and the “big twist” wouldn’t be so, well, annoying. A movie like Blue World Order doesn’t need a twist. It needs to go from point A to point B without confusing the hell out of you.
Of course, there’s a chance that the plot and “message” of the movie will become more apparent after a second viewing. Or a third.
The cast is quite good. Jake Ryan is phenomenal as Jake Slater. He’s cool, he’s a badass, he’s some kind of martial artist, and yet he’s vulnerable. He’s a good father and a reluctant hero. He just wants to get on with his life with his daughter Molly. How is he going to do that, though, if she’s in a coma and there’s no one willing to help him?
Billy Zane is a total sleazebag as Master Crane. Zane is known for his sleaziness when he’s a bad guy (go ahead and watch any movie where he’s the villain and he’s the world’s biggest sleazebag). I do think it’s hard to pick when Zane is at his sleaziest in Blue World Order, though. In the future he’s just an awful human being, but, in the taekwondo studio flashback, where Zane has long hair, he may actually be even worse than he is in the future. And when you consider that Zane’s Master Crane created the bacteria that killed the world’s children, that’s pretty freaking amazing.
Stephen Hunter is both funny and annoying as MadCap, the guy who sort of becomes Jake’s partner in taking down the Tower. He’s kind of goofy at first, but the more he talks and the more he attempts to explain what’s going on the more you wish someone would just knock him the hell out. I’m still trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about for most of the middle of the movie.
Jack Thompson will freak you the hell out as Dr. Harris. At first, he comes off as a kindly doctor trying to help people out in the desolate future, but when he finds out that Molly is still alive he becomes a terrifying psychopath. Yes, he wants to examine Molly to find out why she’s still alive, but does he really need to chop her up to find out?
Bolude Fakuade is interesting as Marion Conners. At first, she seems like a random scientist within the evil machine that is the Order. When we find out who she is, though, you’re not sure if you should continue to hate her (she’s part of the Order! The Order!) or start to root for her. I rooted for her, but that could have been just me.
Blue World Order is a nifty, low budget sci-fi epic. It’s flawed, yes, but it’s also ambitious, so you end up rooting for it to succeed. I do wish it was shorter and leaner, a little more to the point, but it’s hard to get mad it for very long. It’s worth checking out.
See Blue World Order. See it, see it, see it.
So what do we have here?
Dead bodies: Depends on how you want to look at it.
Explosions: A few.
Nudity?: None.
Doobage: Red pepper cutting, attempted dog killing, spooky blue eyes, explaining how the world ended, a guy in a gas mask running through the woods, bug chasing, a very active bee’s nest, cliff hanging, lizard chasing, candle lighting, fly spitting, multiple flashbacks, water bottle throwing, off screen monster killing, gangs street fighting for some reason, face punching, tongue destruction, an extended martial arts street brawl, lightning strike, levitation, attempted child surgery, bondage, a tandem hill roll, multiple Taserings, a convoluted explanation of what’s going on, a low budget research lab somewhere, a lack of batteries, smoke grenade attack, memory watching, off screen torture, body slicing, electro torture, head-butting, a robot guard, a small scientists working on shit montage, a small car battery, body shocking, a giant sandstorm, exploding tower, cables, narrowly being crushed by an elevator, fat guy punching, laser gun attack, bloody metal arm removal, a secret room that’s actually an armory, a room where people are frozen in place while working, a sort of Mad Max riff, helicopter attack, a second laser gun attack, a mountain passageway, decapitation, slow motion kick across the field, forced double testicle kicking, knife throwing, and setting up a potential kick ass sequel.
Kim Richards?: Attempted, and it most likely happened off screen considering the movie takes place in a post-apocalyptic world.
Gratuitous: Australia, 2022, Billy Zane, Billy Zane with long hair, Billy Zane as a taekwondo expert, an Australian guy arguing with a Russian guy over which sport takes longer, baseball or cricket, flashbacks, self-Tasering, a lack of batteries, a tower, a robot guard, propping open an elevator door, multiple DeLoreans, a “big twist,” and setting up a potential kick ass sequel.
Best lines: “Take the cleaver and strike the object,” “Six people. No masks,” “Look at you, holding a baby,” “What is this place? It’s home. To many,” “I go where she goes. No exceptions,” “That’s a nice jacket, asshole,” “Nice one, bug,” “Tell me where the fuck my daughter is!,” “Wait! You’re not Jenkins!,” “They call me MadCap. I don’t care,” “Don’t wait to kill the last child on Earth,” “She’s the Holy Grail, Jake. That’s why you have to help us,” “How was your life before the war?,” “Tell me about the bombs,” “Your very thoughts betray you!,” “The update doesn’t interest you, Marion?,” “Go upstairs so we can start… world peace!,” “Hey, that’s mine!,” “If he is alive where is he?,” “She’s the only child alive! We need to know why!,” “Time to kill your world,” “You’re getting snot all over me!,” “Dad said you were taller. Did he?,” “There could be guards. Yeah, that’s guards,” “These weapons are like nothing I’ve ever seen before,” “You’ve gotta be playing with my balls,” “Saving humanity? You stole humanity!,” “They are formidable. And they are hard to kill,” and “Even if they have the will they don’t have the skill.”
Rating: 7.0/10.0
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I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svFOsT2wiv4
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Things to Watch Out For This Week
–Showdown in Manila: This all-star, low budget action flick features Alexander Nevsky, Casper Van Dien, Don “The Dragon” Wilson, Cynthia Rothrock, Olivier Gruner, Mathias Hues, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Tia Carrere, and Mark Dacascos, who makes his directorial debut with the movie. It starts out as a sort of buddy cop action flick, but when the story shifts to the jungle it’s all out badass action star war. Check out my review of the movie here, and then check it out on DVD or Video On Demand. If you’re an action movie nerd you won’t be disappointed.
–Jigsaw: I missed this eighth Saw movie when it was in theaters this past October, which I’m still annoyed about because I love the Saw movies (well, the sequels mostly. The first movie was just okay) and my streak of seeing all of the sequels in a movie theatre is now over. Phooey. Anyway, this seventh sequel was a box office success of some sort as there are rumors of a ninth movie in the pipeline over at Twisted Pictures and Lionsgate. How the hell can that even happen? I’ll find out when I finally see Jigsaw. Anyone out there see this? Does it make sense at all?
–Geostorm: I missed this big budget special effects extravaganza when it was in movie theatres, too, but from the flick’s box office take it looks like most of us missed it. I saw the trailer for it multiple times and, man, it looks weird and kind of dumb. The special effects look amazing, though, which is what these kinds of movies are usually all about. I’m hoping that it isn’t as bad as the reviews and its reputation suggest. Anyone out there see this? Anyone at all?
–The Houses October Built 2: I saw the trailer for the first The Houses October Built multiple times on multiple DVD releases and thought the movie looked kind of freaky. I never bothered to actually see the movie, though (just didn’t have the time to see it and then, at some point, I just lost track of it). This sequel looks just as freaky. And how cool is it that there’s a direct-to-video sequel to a direct-to-video horror movie out there? How often does that kind of thing happen in this day and age?
–Dance Macabre: This early 1990’s horror flick stars Freddy Krueger hisself, the immortal Robert Englund, and, for the life of me, I’ve never heard of it. I don’t remember ever seeing this in any of the video stores I frequented back in the day, nor do I remember seeing it on cable (this looks like the kind of movie that The Movie Channel would have run into the ground back in 1993 or so). The fine folks at Shout! Factory/Scream Factory are releasing this on Blu-ray with a director commentary track and an interview with Englund. Am I the only one freaked out by the trailer for this movie, with Englund apparently playing multiple characters under heavy makeup?
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B-Movie News
–There’s a new trailer for Ash vs. Evil Dead Season 3 and it’s insane!: Season 3 of the best show on television begins in just a few short weeks (Sunday, February 25th) and the fine folks at Starz have released another trailer and it’s goddamn insane. Go ahead and check it out below and then get even more excited about the show. That’s what happened to me when I first saw the trailer.
How the hell are Ash and his team (Pablo, Kelly, and Ash’s daughter) going to fight off that gigantic deadite that we see at the very end of the trailer? Jesus Christ, man, February 25th can’t get here soon enough! Ash vs. Evil Dead! Yeah!
–New movie The Misguided featuring Katherine Langford set to appear in Los Angeles on January 26th: Written and directed by Shannon Alexander in his feature fil directorial debut, The Misguided is set to run at the Arena Cinelounge in Los Angeles, which is an independent theater that plays independent movies (Kickboxer: Retaliation is set to play there, too, for one weekend). The plot is as follows:
“University dropout Levi is chronically incapable of holding down a steady job or relationship. Having suddenly become single and homeless, he ends up in the home of his drug addict brother Wendel. Shortly after, Levi begins a romance with his Wendel’s ex-girlfriend Sanja, and plans to start a new independent life for the two of them in a new city. But when he learns of a deadly predicament Wendel faces, his loyalties between those closest to him and his sense of familial duty are at odds, and his loyalty assist his brother results in a tricky scheme of subterfuge.”
The movie stars Caleb Galati, Steven J. Mihaljevich, Jasmine Nibali, and Langford.
So if you’re in the Los Angeles area from January 26th on and can get to the Arena Cinelounge, why not give it a shot? Yes, the movie will appear via Video On Demand soon after its brief theatrical run, but, again, if you’re in Los Angeles, why not make an effort to see it on the big screen?
–There’s a book about Phantasm: Ravager?: Yes, and it was released this past Tuesday via Harker Press! Written by the guy who did the awesome Phantasm Exhumed, Dustin McNeill, this new book is titled Further Exhumed: The Strange Case of Phantasm Ravager and is all about Phantasm: Ravager. Considering how in depth McNeill went with Phantasm Exhumed, you just know that you’re going to learn tons of stuff about the last Phantasm movie.
Check out the announcement about the book over at Bloody Disgusting and then go and track it down. It will no doubt be worth getting.
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Who is the Douchebag of the Week? Go here and find out!
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Next Issue: Dementia 13!
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Interviews
david j. moore
Jino Kang
Vladimir Kulich
Paul Mormando
Shahin Sean Solimon
Michael Matteo Rossi
Tyrone Magnus
Hector Barron
Jeffrey Orgill
Michael Baumgarten
R. Marcos Taylor
Don “The Dragon” Wilson
Paul Kyriazi
Eric Jacobus
Juju Chan
Luke LaFontaine
Marco Siedlemann
Sam Firstenberg
Amariah Olson
Alexander Nevsky
Mathias Hues
Kristanna Loken
Steve Mitchell
Albert Pyun
Brad Thornton
Mathieu Ratthe
Damien Power
Kelsey Carlisle
Mike Dwyer
Nicholas Bushman
Brahim Achabbakhe
Etcetera
Richard LeMay
Andrew David Barker
Cynthia Rothrock
Leslie Simpson
C. Courtney Joyner
Shahin Sean Solimon (2)
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Well, I think that’ll be about it for now. Don’t forget to sign up with disqus if you want to comment on this article and any other 411 article. You know you want to, so just go do it.
B-movies rule. Always remember that.
Blue World Order
Jake Ryan– Jake Slater
Billy Zane– Master Crane
Jack Thompson– Dr. Harris
Stephen Hunter– MadCap
Bolude Fakuade– Marion Conners
Bille Rutherford– Molly
Bruce Spence– Whippett
(check out the rest of the cast here)
Directed by Che Baker and Dallas Bland
Screenplay by Che Baker, Dallas Bland, and Sarah Mason
Distributed by Random Media
Not Rated
Runtime– 110 minutes
Buy it here
