411’s WWF Sunday Night Heat Report 12.30.01

Hello and welcome to the last 411 Sunday Night Heat Report of the year 2001. Excuse me while I wipe the tears off my keyboard. Those Road Rules finales get me every time. At least I didn’t go through a one-week bout with depression like I do every time another season of The Real World ends. Just kidding folks.

Tonight’s show comes to us live from WWF New York. Our hosts are Tazz and Michael Cole, with special guest Rhyno. Tazz does not want to go inside to do the show because he has the best seat in the house to watch the ball drop in tomorrow’s New Year’s celebration. He tells us if he sees Dick Clark, he is going to choke him out.

Match #1- Albert vs. Billy Gunn w/Chuck Palumbo

It’s not Heat without the Ambiguously Gay Duo. I think it’s time to start calling them the Obviously Gay Duo. Albert mocks their matching headbands. They lock up and Albert pushes Gunn into the corner then knocks him down with an avalanche. Gunn bails but Albert follows him out. Albert misses a charge into the corner and Gunn hits a neckbreaker for two. Billy chokes Albert against the ropes. The ref pulls him off and Palumbo takes the opportunity to interfere. Both guys collide in the corner then kick each other at the same time. Both men are down. They get up and Albert capitalizes with a punch and an avalanche into the corner. Albert turns a military press into a michinoku driver. Palumbo stops the count. Albert big spins Gunn. While Gunn is down, Palumbo tries to interfere. Albert stops him but then walks into the famouser for three. After the match, the OGD hit a double team ddt and leave Albert laying.

Winner- Billy Gunn

We see a little Edge video package where he talks about his new entrance theme from Rob Zombie.

Backstage, Molly Holly gets hit on by Test. The Hurricane saves her from the “super stud”. Test challenges Hurricane to a match.

Match #2- The Brooklyn Brawler vs. The Big Show

Welcome to squash 101. Brawler gets a pop! He blitzes show but has no luck. Brawler bails and Show follows him out. Brawler rolls in and crotches Show when he tries to step over the ropes. Brawler hits some chops but a clothesline knocks him down in short order. Chokeslam= bye bye Brawler. Welcome to squash 101.

Winner- The Big Show

Interview time. Rhyno makes his way out and gets a big pop from the crowd atWWF NY. They half-shoot, talking about Shane’s suspension being the reason he decided to have neck surgery at this time. He says he won’t beg for a job, but that both Vince and Flair know what he has to offer. Tazz asks him about his favorite match from 2001. He like the Hardcore title match against Raven at Backlash. Rhyno’s New Year’s resolution is to be more intense.

We go to another poolside taped promo from Chris Jericho like the one from Smackdown. He cuts a cocky little promo, nothing special. He is better than us, and there is nobody left for him to beat up. He briefly considers retirement but thinks better of it.

Match #3- Crash Holly and Funaki vs. The APA

What’s with all the squashes tonight? Crash grabs the Mike and wonders who would ever book this match. He worries about having to beat the APA’s ass during this time of peace and joy. He invites the APA to go to the back and get some more guys to help them out. Crash and Funaki blitz, but just bounce off. Bradshaw commences the beating but Crash reverses his team’s fortunes with a missile dropkick. Farooq tags in but neither Crash nor Funaki want to get in the ring against him. Crash is stuck with the short straw but actually gets some offense in. Before getting decimates with a spinebuster, that is. Farooq drags Crash to his corner so he can tag Funaki, but he jumps off the apron. The APA double team Crash for a while. Farooq hits a big powerslam but Funaki breaks the count. Funaki is occupied on the outside by Bradshaw and Farooq puts the dominator on Crash for three. Comedy match.

Winners- The APA

Match #4- Test vs. Hurricane Helms w/Mighty Molly

Hurricane starts off with the advantage and hits a cross-bodyblock of the tope. He misses a kick and gets caught with a full nelson driver. Test throws Helms in the corner and pounds him. Big clothesline leads to a vertical suplex for two. Test misses an elbow drop and Helms hits a flying forearm. Rollup gets two for the Hurricane. The pumphandle slam only gets two for Test. Molly tries to interfere but Test knocks her down before she can. Test hits Hurricane with the big boot. The ref goes to check on Molly giving Rikishi a chance to run in and superkick Test. He puts Helms on top and the ref turns around to count the pin!

Winner- The Hurricane

That’s the end of the show. Happy New Year everybody!!!! See you during the week in 411’s Main Event and next Sunday for Sunday Night Heat!

ANDY GARCIA!