wrestling / Video Reviews
The Name on the Marquee: The 1st Annual WWF Survivor Series (11.26.1987)
Loading...-Again, a review I wrote nine years ago. The review from nine years ago came straight from the original PPV broadcast, so even watching the Network version probably won’t add much.
Originally aired Thanksgiving, 1987.
-We’re LIVE! from suburban Cleveland at the Richfield Coliseum, built on the former site of the Rodroddy Arena, which itself replaced the Johnnyolson Armory. They remove the screw-up from the live broadcast, where the show faded in on Howard Finkel giving time cues and prompting the crowd to cheer.
-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura. In a bit of a different way of doing things, Gorilla & Jesse get their own entrance to start the show. Gorilla speculates that tonight’s event will be a happening. Gorilla is anticipating the 10-team elimination match, which he expects to be a happening. There’s also going to be a women’s elimination match, which will be a happening.
-We go over the rules for the matches, since this is the first year and all. They make it a point to mention that team members can be eliminated by “referee’s discretion pending injury.” How often do you hear blown spots being anticipated like that?
-Craig DeGeorge talks to Team Honky. Honky declares his team the greatest team ever assembled, at a point in time when that absolutely cannot be disputed. Smart man.
-Gene Okerlund talks to Team Savage. They’re just totally drowned out by the sound of Honky’s entrance music, probably explaining why they eventually began pre-recording these interviews.
CAPTAIN RANDY “Macho Man” SAVAGE, RICKY “The Dragon” STEAMBOAT, JAKE “The Snake” ROBERTS, BRUTUS “The Barber” BEEFCAKE, & HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN (with Elizabeth)
Vs.
CAPTAIN HONKY TONK MAN, KING HARLEY RACE, HERCULES, DANGEROUS DANNY DAVIS, & OUTLAW RON BASS (with Bobby Heenan & Jimmy Hart)
-This crowd is STOKED. Hercules & Beefcake start. Lock-up goes nowhere, so Beefcake struts for the hell of it. Gorilla mentions that all the matches tonight will have two referees, but doesn’t sound nearly excited enough about it.
-Hercules catches Herc with a high knee and snapmares him. Beefcake hits his own snapmare, but gets shoulderblocked down. Hercules comes off the ropes and gets caught in a sleeper. He makes it to his corner and makes the tag, but it’s not clear which teammate he tagged, so Beefcake just hiptosses everybody in that corner, then slingshots Danny Davis in. Jake comes in, traps him in a standing wristlock, then backdrops him from that position. Gorilla makes an interesting note about the physics of that move, acknowledging that it couldn’t be done without Davis cooperating but justifying it with “Either Davis goes along with that move or Jake separates his shoulder.”
-Savage comes in briefly but defers to Steamboat, and the tag between those two should have been a bigger moment but it’s not. Steamboat hits a chop from the top, followed by a thrust kick. He charges at Davis in the corner but hits a high knee, and Davis tags the King. Harley whips him but Steamboat comes off the second rope with a chop. Blows are exchanged. Harley sends him over the top and Steamboat skins the cat. Harley does it again, Steamboat does it again. Harley tries one more time and Steamboat reverses and throws him over the top rope. Harley comes right back in with a belly-to-belly for two. Steamboat evades him and makes a quick tag to Duggan. Duggan clotheslines Race right over the top rope and beats the holy hell out of him, but ignores the referee’s count in the process, and Duggan & Race are both counted out. Unsatisfied fan in the background holds up a “Whack” sign as Howard makes the announcement.
-Jake & Bass restart the match in the ring. Bass misses an elbow and Savage heads in and rams him into the corner. Hard elbow follows and Savage snapmares and kneedrops Bass for a one-count. Bodyslam by Savage, but he makes the mistake of going after Honky in the corner and Bass attacks him with a clothesline. Honky sees his opening and stomps Savage, but Savage surprises him with a series of punches and Bass tags right back in. Elbow gets two. Savage ducks another elbow and hits his own. Bass applies a side headlock and Savage tags Beefcake without Bass seeing it. Savage sends Bass into the ropes and Beefcake meets him with a high knee to get the three-count and eliminate Bass.
-Hercules and Honky both go right to work on Beefcake, trading off with armbars. Beefcake punches Hercules until the hold is broken, but the mighty Hercules does something mighty smart; as he falls over, he wraps his legs around Beefcake so he can’t move, so Honky tags back in and just attacks him and goes back to work on the arm. Beefcake hits an atomic drop to break free this time and instead of tagging, he just beats on Honky. The commentators declare that to be a fatal mistake, and they’re right, as some well-timed interference from Danny Davis allows Beefcake to fall victim to Shake, Rattle, & Roll. Beefcake is gone.
-Savage BOLTS in and Honky runs for his life to his corner. Hercules tags in and does some Austin-caliber corner stomping. He makes the mistake of Danny Davis, who gets overwhelmed quickly, so Honky tags in and sneaks up on Savage for an attack. Savage, having learned something from what happened to Beefcake, makes an immediate tag to Jake. Jake wails on Honky but gets caught with a knee. Hercules comes in and throws a series of punches for a two-count. He tags Davis back in and Davis tries headbutts and turnbuckle shots. He kicks and punches Jake in the corner, but Jake suddenly gets pissed and no-sells everything before drilling Davis with the short clothesline. DDT eliminates Davis, and the crowd shits themselves with joy about that one.
-Hercules attacks right away and drops an elbow, but Jake still has some life left in him. A melee starts to break out between the remaining team members and the two referees involved in this match have to break things up. Honky & Hercules pound Jake in their corner and Honky gets a two-count with a lazy cover. Honky tries a headlock, and Jake elbows free and drops him with a kneelift. Hercules tags back in and tries his own headlock. Jake nearly passes out, but revives and breaks out. Steamboat tags in and hits Hercules with chops from every direction. He chops Honky too, and mocks his dancing for good measure. Chop from the top by Steamboat, followed by a slam and a knee. He tags Savage, who finishes off Hercules with the flying elbow.
-So we’re down to Honky vs. the three guys in the world who hate him the most. He dodges a charge from Savage and hits a series of clubbing blows, but Savage catches him with a shot between the eyes. Steamboat comes back in and beats on him with chop after chop after chop. The Snake & The Dragon come together to double-team Honky. Snake & Savage double-team him too. Savage connects with a double-axehandle from the top. He atomic drops Honky over the top and onto the floor, and Honky declares “Fuck this!” and stays out there. He loses the match, but he avoids further injury and the possibility that he could have had to surrender his title. 1 for 1. Hercules and Honky’s restholds were a little much given the nature of the match, but overall a good bout. All the right spots were there and they paid off they generously paid off the curiosity factor with all of the former enemies working in tandem.
-Team Andre offers threatening words. Craig forgets the talk to Andre himself, and when he tries to throw it back to Gorilla, Andre screams “Shut up!” and says his piece.
CAPTAIN FABULOUS MOOLAH, ROCKIN’ ROBIN, VELVET MCINTYRE, & JUMPING BOMB ANGELS
vs.
CAPTAIN SENSATIONAL SHERRI, DAWN MARIE, DONNA CHRISTIANELLO, & GLAMOUR GIRLS (with Jimmy Hart)
-Gorilla plugs Jesse’s new movie, The Running Man, by declaring it a happening. Before the match begins, I simply want to say that Jumping Bomb Angels is the coolest name for a tag team ever.
-Sherri starts with Velvet. Sherri sends her from turnbuckle to turnbuckle and clotheslines her down. Bodypress by Velvet out of nowhere gets two. She tags in Moolah. The crowd boos Moolah, so congratulations to Ohio for being 30 years ahead of the curve on that one. Christianello tags in and Moolah slingshots her in, then slingshots her again. Velvet steps back in and elbows Christianello down. Dropkick and a slam get two. Velvet biels her and follows with a victory roll to eliminate Christianello. In fairness, she was only in this match because they needed a total of ten.
-Lelani Kai steps in to take her place but gets dropkicked down. Robin tags in and gets caught in the wrong corner. Dawn Marie (not that one) tags in and keeps putting the hurt on her. Martin tags in and gets bodypressed for two. Dropkick by Martin gets another two. Sherri hits a dropkick and Dawn Marie comes in with a double chop to the throat. Robin catches her with a clothesline, and another bodypress eliminates Dawn Marie. See Donna Christianello.
-Lelani Kai comes in and so does Tateno. Lelani slams Tateno (I’m pretty sure Gorilla has them mixed up) and tries to pin her, but Tateno bridges and slides out from underneath her, which wakes up the crowd. Victory roll by Tateno gets two. Series of high knees and a bodypress, and suddenly, this crowd cares about this match. Itsuki comes off the top rope to enter the match. Kai has had enough and Sherri comes in and walks right into a double-underhook suplex for two. Robin comes in and knocks the wind out of Sherri for two. Sherri slugs back and Lelani comes back in and tries to keep inflicting more damage in the stomach. Robin stops her from doing that, but she gets caught in the wrong corner and slammed. Sherri suplexes her for a three-count.
-Tateno throws dropkicks at Sherri, but in comes Judy Martin. She swings Tateno across the ring by her hair and Velvet comes in to try to do something about it. Bodypress gets two. She slingshots Martin and Moolah comes back in to the deafening chorus of boos. Either that or they’re yelling “MOOOOOOOOOOOO-Lah.” Moolah gets the upper hand but can’t get the pin, so in comes Tateno. She misses a dropkick and Kai connects with double chops to the neck. Sherri comes in and faceplants her for two. Martin beels her across the ring, and Martin just attacks every opponent she can. Moolah comes back in with a slam and a snapmare. Side headlock by Moolah, but she gets caught in a double-clothesline by the Glamour Girls, and that’s enough to eliminate her.
-Bomb Angels go to work on Martin’s leg and Velvet clamps on a Boston crab. Velvet turns it into a surfboard, but she’s too close to the ropes and can’t get a submission. Sherri tags back in and drops the leg. She nearly kills Velvet on a botched gutwrench (right on her head, and she pauses to see if Velvet’s okay) but we go back to Bomb Angels vs. Glamour Girls. Martin gets a two-count on another bridge before we abruptly go back to Velvet & Sherri. Velvet does her giant swing and the crowd pops huge. She heads to the second rope and Sherri hooks her and tries for an electric chair, but Velvet turns it into a victory roll to eliminate Sherri.
-Martin attacks Velvet and just pummels her until Tateno can make the tag. Double underhook suplex by Tateno gets two. Lelani tags in and gets caught in the most impressive, most painful-looking legscissors that I’ve ever seen a woman do. Velvet tags back in and sticks with what works, going for another victory roll for two. She tries again, but Kai finally hits the electric chair that Sherri wanted earlier and that eliminates Velvet.
-So we’re down to Bomb Angels & Glamour Girls. They hit offensive moves in tandem and slingshot one Glamour Girl on top of the other. Interference from the apron turns the tide, but Lelani misses a top rope splash. Itsuki hits a bodypress from the top rope to eliminate Lelani.
-Martin takes control quickly. She faceplants Itsuki from a fireman’s carry position. Itsuki Heimlichs her and drops her right on her ass. Double backdrop by the Bomb Angels, and one of them dropkicks Jimmy Hart for good measure. Bodypress from the top rope eliminates Martin, and the crowd is just crazy for the surviving Jumping Bomb Angels. 1 for 2. Wow…I remembered this match being much, MUCH better, but it turns out we had to sit through a lot of dead weight, as the weaker workers in the bout seemed to get equal time to the ones who could really get the crowd’s attention, and it hurt the match a lot.
-Craig DeGeorge talks to the evil side of the ten-team match. Jimmy Hart, the hardest working manager in the building, has to change his jacket during the promo.
-Gene Okerlund talks to Strike Force & Friends. Martel declares a team motto of “Unity for Victory.” Truth be told, this is the first coherent promo I’ve heard from Strike Force since they came into existence.
CO-CAPTAINS STRIKE FORCE, ROUGEAU BROTHERS, KILLER BEES, BRITISH BULLDOGS, & YOUNG STALLIONS
vs.
CO-CAPTAINS HART FOUNDATION, BOLSHEVIKS, DEMOLITION, DREAM TEAM, & ISLANDERS (with Jimmy Hart, Slick, Mr. Fuji, Johnny V, & Bobby Heenan)
-Weird entrance for the heels, as the Bolsheviks enter first and sing the anthem, then the rest of the team enters to Demolition’s music. It’s Johnny V’s last night on TV for the company and he looks like he doesn’t want to be there. We break down the different rules for this match. Any time a wrestler is eliminated, his regular partner is automatically eliminated as well.
-Volkoff starts with Martel. He hammers Martel for an early advantage, but Martel rolls him up for two. Martel throws punches and gets kicked down. Volkoff lifts him by the neck, but we’re still a few years away from somebody figuring out that you can slam a guy from that position. Zhukov tags in and gets caught in a bodypress right away for two. Tito tags in and Zhukov goes for the eyes to take control. He misses a clothesline and gets clocked with a flying forearm for the three-count, and the Bolsheviks are already gone.
-Ax runs in and axes Tito down right away. Elbow misses, and Tito tags in Jacques Rougeau. Jacques takes advantage quickly, so Dino Bravo tags in. He gets caught in an arm wringer and the Killer Bees take tag in and take turns working the arm. Davey Boy Smith tags in and headbutts Ax down, and he’s had enough, so in comes Smash. Tito and Dynamite Kid work him over until Dynamite gets caught in the wrong corner. Haku tags in and chops are exchanged. Haku headbutts him and the Bees step in to make a wish. Haku tags Jim Neidhart in and Neidhart gets grounded quickly. Paul Roma comes in to work the leg, but gets slammed down. Smash re-enters with a slam of his own. Ax does likewise. Haku clotheslines him. Tama comes in and trades blows with Roma, and Jim Powers tags in, only to get pounded by Demolition. Ax slams him across the ring and Jacques returns. He counters a backdrop but misses a bodypress from the second rope, and Ax pins him right away to eliminate the Rougeaus.
-Dynamite Kid comes in and he’s a house of fire. Tama tags back in and pounds away. Jim Powers tags back in and gets in a few punches before being clotheslined down. The Anvil comes back in and does a double-team move with Haku, but it only gets two. Paul Roma comes back in and avoids a charge, but Haku catches him before he can do anything, and Ax steps back in and axes him down. Roma fights back, only to get booted down. Here comes Greg Valentine with a shoulderbreaker for two. Suplex gets two. Dino comes back in and gutwrenches him. Legdrop gets two. Double tags bring in Blair & Smash. Smash misses a charge and Dynamite comes back in and takes Smash’s head off with a clothesline. It only gets two, and Smash kicks him into the bad part of town. Demolition destroys Dynamite and shoves the referee across the ring in the process, and they get themselves disqualified as a result.
-Bret Hart steps in and hits a hell of a piledriver right away, but Dynamite is able to kick out. Bret misses a charge and hits the post shoulder-first. Powers comes in to take advantage, but Hart is able to tag Tama. Tama clotheslines him and follows with a slam. Pump splash misses and Martel tags in and goes to work with a backdrop and London Bridge. Dropkick and a Boston crab, but he’s too close to the corner, so Tama tags in Jim Neidhart, who clotheslines Martel from behind for two. Martel is able to kick him away and Tito comes back in and connects with another flying forearm. Bret dives in to break up that pinfall, and hits Tito hard enough to KO him, so Neidhart rolls over and gets the three-count himself to eliminate the tag champs.
-Face side of the match is pissed about that and Neidhart gets triple-teamed. Powers and Haku tag in and can’t get much done. Valentine comes in and manages to stay on top of Powers for a while. Forearm by Valentine gets two. Powers goes low as the arena suddenly switches to MSG lighting for no reason, and here comes Jim Neidhart & Haku with another double-team effort. Backbreaker by Haku gets two. Chops by Haku & Valentine get two. Powers reverses a suplex but can’t get away from the heel corner. Decapitator by Bret & Tama. Bret suplexes Powers for two. Roma tags in and shows a little life, so Bret goes to the eyes and the Foundation double-teams him. Valentine comes back in and slams him down. Valentine goes off the top rope with a forearm, but Roma is able to roll over and tag Powers back in. Valentine & Bret double-team Powers, but the Killer Bees cause Bret to miss a dropkick, and Dynamite comes in and whips Bret into the turnbuckles for two. Suplex gets another two. Roma elbows Bret down and Bret’s had enough and tags in Haku. B. Brian Blair tags in and manhandles him. Davey Boy Smith assists with a clothesline. Headbutt by Smith, and Powers comes back in and rams Haku into the turnbuckles. He misses a charge and the Harts continue dishing out punishment on Powers. They stupidly allow him to make it to his corner and tag Davey Boy. Bret gets caught in a press slam immediately for two. Bret tags out and Davey Boy slingshots Haku in. Running powerslam gets two. Suplex by Davey Boy and a diving headbutt by Dynamite. Oops, Haku is Polynesian; Dynamite accidentally knocks himself silly with that headbutt. Thrust kick by Haku eliminates the Bulldogs.
-Roma comes in and dropkicks Haku quickly for a two-count. Dino tags in and tries an elbow. He misses, and Jim Powers steps in. He tries for a monkeyflip and Dino blocks it. Dream Team gangs up on Powers. Valentine drops him throat-first on the top rope. Dino & Anvil chop Powers down for two. Bret hangs Powers upside down and stomps him into oblivion. Valentine clamps on a front facelock. Bravo backdrops Powers and follows with a side suplex. Valentine goes for the figure four, but Powers makes the tag without Valentine seeing it, and Roma sunset flips Valentine from the top rope to eliminate the Dream Team. Bye, Johnny V.
-Tags come fast and furious and the Killer Bees battle it out with Neidhart. Bret tags back in and circles the ring with Brunzell. Bees work the leg and Roma comes in to help make a wish. Side headlock by Bret and he gets sent into the ropes. He meets Roma with a punch and Tama. Tama faceplants Roma and headbutts him. Islanders elbow Roma and Haku slams him. Legdrop misses. In comes Brunzell to capitalize with a slam and a legdrop of his own for two. Hiptoss gets two. Bret’s back inside and he gets caught in the wrong corner. Roma comes in and goes to work with uppercuts. Fistdrop from the second rope gets two. Bret sweeps his legs to take him down. Back suplex by Bret gets two. Tama tags in and bites Roma. Double headbutt gets two. Haku misses a charge and Roma armdrags him. Haku fights back with kicks and chops. Dropkick by Haku. Dropkick by Anvil gets two. Powerslam by Anvil gets two. Roma evades Bret’s tactics and tags in Jumping Jim. Shoulderblock takes out both men. Brunzell recovers first and tries a slam, but Tama runs in and dropkicks Bret on top of him. Brunzell rolls through and comes out on top, and he gets the three-count to eliminate the Harts. Jimmy can finally take a breather tonight.
-Tama tags in and clamps on a nerve hold. Brunzell elbows free, but Haku tags in and acts quickly with a shoulderbreaker for two. Nerve hold by Haku. Islanders keep cutting the ring in half and Tama steps back in to apply his nerve hold. Meanwhile in the background, Bobby Heenan and the outside referee are doing a great little bit where the referee goes nuts every time Heenan sticks his hand in his pocket, and Bobby has to show him that he doesn’t have anything in his hand. Back in the ring, Brunzell hot tags Jim Powers and punches Haku. Powerslam by Roma nearly finishes, but Tama saves and the Islanders stomp a mudhole into Roma. Blair tags in and gets caught with chops and a high elbow from Tama. Bodyslam by Tama; elbow misses. Brunzell tags in and he’s all over both Islanders. Noggin knocker and a high dropkick, and suddenly we have a melee on out hands. In the confusion, Brian Blair throws on his mask and comes in with a sunset flip for the three-count, and the Killer Bees & the Young Stallions are YOUR Survivors.
-Okay, GREAT match, but a while back, I complained about how the WWF couldn’t decide from one match to another if the Stallions were jobbers, breakout stars, or a dominant team, and here, hell, even in the course of ONE MATCH, they couldn’t decide. Yes, they survived, and the point here is obviously to show that they could hang with the other top tag teams, but go back and read this recap again, if you had time. They eliminated the Dream Team on a fluke, and the entire story of the match was “Heels destroy the Young Stallions, but they keep barely kicking out, no matter how battered and bruised they get.” They looked like total nobodies. How do you push guys when you make them come across this ineffectual? Anyway, here’s the point…2 for 3.
-In case you missed it the first time, here’s Gene Okerlund to tell you how to order the commemorative Survivor Series t-shirt and program.
HOW “THE MILLION DOLLAR MAN” SPENDS HIS THANKSGIVING
-Ted boasts that unlike the rest of the WWF, he’s taking Thanksgiving off because he doesn’t need to toil and sweat. He has all the money he needs. And you know what? Let’s take a look at all of his dick-move vignettes. Here he is refusing to pay a kid who couldn’t do ten push-ups. Here he is kicking the basketball away from little Sean. Here he is making a woman who is either Linda McMahon or not Linda McMahon bark like a dog. Here’s Mister PPV making his PPV debut, kissing Ted’s feet. Here he is bribing his way into closing a public pool.
-DiBiase enjoys a nice dinner, then goes for a pleasant drive in his classic car with the top down, even though it’s November. No problem, he’s wearing a fur coat. 3 for 4. Pointless segment, but really fun to re-live those golden moments.
-We go back to Gorilla & Jesse. They discuss Savage vs. Honky and Jesse defends Honky’s decision to run away. He pretty much wins the argument and Gorilla seems stuck for a rebuttal after Jesse presents his reasoning.
-We recap the 10-team match. Jesse thinks the finish was a travesty.
-We discuss the main event yet to come. Andre is returning to action for the first time since Wrestlemania III, and it’s inevitable that the match will come to Hulk vs. Andre at some point. Gorilla mentions that Andre will have a combined weight of more than one ton on his team, so apparently we’re filling time while Butch Reed and Rick Rude load up on spaghetti and fried food in the locker room.
SPECIAL INTERVIEW WITH CRAIG DEGEORGE
-What, REALLY? Did Ken Patera get his head stuck in a toilet right as they were about to send everybody out for the main event or something? Craig’s guest is Honky Tonk Man, who has no regrets about his actions earlier tonight. He issues a challenge to Hulk Hogan because he knows the Hulkster is jealous of him. He’s not even worried about Randy Savage at this point, because he’s nothing.
-Hulk Hogan, his teammates, and his forehead tampons are ready to face the mass of humanity on the opposing team. Somebody apparently suggested that Bigelow’s a face and therefore he should shave, and he looks really odd.
CAPTAIN HULK HOGAN, “Mister Wonderful” PAUL ORNDORFF, “The Rock” DON MURACO, KEN PATERA, & BAM-BAM BIGELOW (with Oliver Humperdink)
vs.
CAPTAIN ANDRE THE GIANT, KING KONG BUNDY, RAVISHING RICK RUDE, ONE MAN GANG, “The Natural” BUTCH REED (with Bobby Heenan & Slick)
-Damn, FINALLY! Heenan is so amped about Andre’s return that he introduces the big guy himself. Actually, that entire attitude is pretty infectious. The face side, Don Muraco in particular, just looks incredibly excited, and the crowd reaction does a wonderful slow build through their entrances right up to Hogan’s arrival. So before the match even starts, the right mood is already set in stone for it. Jesse has a pretty funny conniption fit upon realizing that the referee in the ring is Joey Marella, the man who issued the controversial two-count at Wrestlemania.
-Muraco & Rude start. They trade punches immediately and Rude goes to the eyes. He charges at Muraco and gets caught. Orndorff tags in and unloads everything he can on Rude. He rams him into Hogan’s boot and tags in the Hulkster. Hogan clotheslines him right into the ground and drops a series of elbows. He bodyslams him into position for a diving headbutt from Bigelow. Bigelow press-slams Rude and Patera tags in with a shot from the Weasel Whacker. He hits Rude so hard that he falls into his own corner. Reed comes in, but Patera is on top of him quickly. Muraco comes in and offers a dropkick. Orndorff throws a pair of dropkicks, and then punches Bundy on the apron for good measure. Reed tries to get some offense in, but Hogan and Orndorff double-team him, and Hogan drops the big leg to eliminate him immediately.
-Hogan turns his back immediately to celebrate and Andre steps in to wait for him to turn around. Hogan high-fives his partners in the midst of celebrating, and Joey Marella declares that to be a legal tag, so Hogan, after a lot of complaining, steps out and Ken Patera steps in. You could reason that Hulk should have just tagged in immediately there, but you could also argue that a tag can’t be made until physical contact with the opponent, so Patera’s stuck here. Andre says “fuck this” and I guess Bundy’s the legal man now.
-Patera launches right into Bundy with more cast shots and a hard clothesline. Orndorff tags in just as Bundy backs off and tags in the Gang. Gang punches him and Orndorff punches back again and again. He Irish whips the Gang but meets a knee when he charges. Rude comes back in and gets clotheslined right back down. Bodyslam and an elbow by Orndorff get two. Muraco clotheslines Rude, and Hogan takes a free shot from the apron. Rude goes to the eyes and the Gang comes back in and clubbers Muraco. He misses a charge and Patera tags back in. He hammers Gang with the cast. Bodypress gets two. He keeps up the cast-assisted offense with an Irish whip and a high knee. Gang goes to the eyes and traps Patera in the wrong corner. Gang applies a front facelock as an ECW-volume “Andre sucks!” chant erupts. Gang works Patera over in the corner a little more and goes back to the front facelock. Patera revs up and throws more cast shots. Double-clothesline hurts both men, but Gang falls on top of Patera, and he accidentally gets the three-count to get rid of the Olympian.
-Hogan goes right to work on the Gang. Bigelow comes in for a double-team effort. Double-shoulderblock dazes both men. Rude tags in, but so does Orndorff. Suplex by Orndorff. Elbow by Orndorff. Backdrop straight onto Rude’s ass and Orndorff calls for the piledriver. Bundy attacks him from behind to prevent that and Rude rolls Orndorff right up to eliminate him.
-Rude poses to celebrate and Muraco capitalizes on that. Bigelow offers a suplex. Hogan returns and connects with a high knee. Muraco comes back in with a powerslam that takes Rude out of the match.
-Bundy is fresh and he’s able to work Muraco over well, but he misses a kneedrop and Muraco smells blood. He goes after the leg until Bundy goes after the eyes. Gang tags in to add his two cents. Muraco comes back with an Irish whip. He tries a bodyslam, but collapses and Gang lands on top for a close two-count. That seems familiar. Andre headbutts Muraco from the outside and Gang splashes him to eliminate The Rock ’87.
-Bigelow steps in and tries a sunset flip, but Gang sits on him. Bundy tags in and drops the knee. Clothesline is sold with a 360 by Bigelow. Kneedrop gets a two-count when Hogan makes the save. Another knee, another two. Bigelow is back in and throws punches. He’s weak, though, so the Gang fights him and chokes him over the top rope. Bundy steps back in. Knee to the gut and a forearm by Bundy. Gang continues dishing out the hurtin’ on Bigelow. He elbows the Gang down. Bundy comes back inside and adds more of the same. Andre, as fresh as fresh can be, tags in and takes a shot, but Bigelow ducks and tags Hogan. Holy SHIT, this crowd has been waiting all night. Hogan & Andre trade chops and punches. Hogan rams Andre into the turnbuckles. He knocks Bundy & Gang off the apron. Axe bomber by Hogan. He goes off the ropes and Bundy yanks him by the leg and pulls him to the floor. Gang & Bundy both block his re-entry, so Hogan slams both of them on the floor, but that takes enough time that Hogan winds up getting counted out.
-Hogan puts up a huge argument about that decision, so the referees announce that if Hogan doesn’t leave immediately, they’ll stop the match right now. Hogan’s pissed, but in this case, his bad sportsmanship is actually pretty justified. There was interference in plain sight of the referee, and the referee continued issuing the count even as he saw that Hogan’s attempt to re-enter was being thwarted by the illegal men in the match. So, yes, Hogan actually got a raw deal on this one.
-So we’re down to Bigelow vs. Andre, Bundy, and Gang, and fortunately, Bigelow was being pushed so hard and so effectively that there’s actually suspense to that. Bigelow hammers Bundy and clotheslines him down. Elbow gets two. Running headbutt and a falling headbutt for another two. Dropkick by Bigelow. He goes back to work on Bundy’s leg. Bundy reverses an Irish whip and goes for the Avalanche, but he misses. Slingshot splash gets the three-count, and out goes Bundy.
-Gang steps in and pounds away for a near-fall. He keeps pounding and pounding before heading to the top rope, but Bigelow rolls away and Gang eats the canvas. Bigelow rolls over and gets the three-count.
-But there’s nothing left in Bigelow’s tank after that, so Andre squashes him like a bug. Butterfly suplex finishes him off, and Andre the Giant survives. Hogan bolts back to the ring and knocks Andre silly with the title belt, clearing the ring and closing the show with some quality posing and “Real American” while Heenan screams at him about signing a contract. 4 for 5. A 25-minute match that felt like seven or eight minutes. Shockingly fast-paced by the standards of pretty much everybody involved, and the energy level from everybody and the collective storytelling made it a great main event.
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