Universal Wrestling Federation (4.18.1987) Review

-One last bit of doubling back before we dive into summer. This is the first episode aired after the sale closed.

-We get a commercial for Buzz Sawyer’s wrestling school. This gentleman seems like a legitimate businessman who’s not going to engage in dubious practices.

-Coincidentally, the show opens with a Buzz Sawyer music video, set to “Immigrant Song” by Led Zeppelin. My roommate Rose: “Joel had GREAT taste in music.”

-Originally aired April 18, 1987.

-Your hosts are JR and DJ. “BUZZ SAWYER IS BACK IN THE UWF!” JR enthusiastically declares. A check of Cagematch says that this run lasted a total of four matches that happened over the course of two days.

HANDICAP MATCH: “Mad Dog” BUZZ SAWYER vs. JEFF RAITZ & KEN MASSEY
-Dark Journey observes that Buzz’s “ducks are scattered.”

-He slams Raitz down, bites him, and drops a big elbow. He dumps one opponent to the floor and just forces the other one to come in, and beats the hell out of him. Powerslam finishes. Sawyer then rolls up the other opponent just to make a point of pinning both of them. Buzz is one of the guys where I can see why promoters gave him chance after chance after chance. With his head on straight, he could have been some promotion’s top heel for years, but he got in his own way.

-Another commercial for Buzz Sawyer’s wrestling school. Order now and you’ll also get Brett.

-Bruce Prichard talks to Eddie Gilbert & Missy Hyatt. They address rumors that Missy and Eddie might be splitting up, and Eddie says that he didn’t want to risk Nickla or Sunshine or Dark Journey assaulting his lady, so Missy simply didn’t come to the arenas for a few weeks, for her own safety. Missy announces that she’s giving power of attorney and control of the money to Eddie, however, because she wants more free time to make nail appointments. And with that, Missy is off to crater another WWF TV taping.

UWF HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: ONE MAN GANG (Champion, with Skandar Akbar) vs. EDDIE GILBERT (TV Champion, with Missy Hyatt & Iceman King Parsons)
-So it just works out that Eddie ranked #1 in the UWF Top Ten (this was before John Ayres instituted his controversial “be more interesting” metric, remember). Eddie comes to the ring with his arm in a cast and declares that he’s not cleared to wrestle. And you’d think this is leading to Iceman being a substitute, but that’s not even happening. They simply announce that Eddie is forfeiting the match and Gang retains as a result, and Gang looks really, really confused as he’s declared the winner.

-Bruce Prichard talks to Chavo Guerrero, who has a really, REALLY off day while threatening Gary Young. He seems to draw a total blank on the phrase “like white on rice” and just kind of goes downhill from there.

-We get words from the Fabulous Freebirds. People may not like them, but at least they’re American! But you repeat yourself.

“Dr. Death” STEVE WILLIAMS & STEVE COX vs. WILD BILL IRWIN & ANGEL MOHAMMED (with Skandar Akbar, The Viking, and One Man Gang)
-That is just way too many guys for a clean finish, right?

-Cox and Irwin trade chops, and Cox flings Irwin in a series of of armdrags while JR reminds us that the UWF Training Academy is looking for new students. Thanks but no thanks, I’m really more interested in a lunatic teacher who runs off with my money before the first lesson.

-Williams tags in and backdrops Irwin. They collide on a double clothesline, but Doc recovers and lays into Irwin with rights and a headbutt for two. Angel tags in and gets press slammed by Doc. Steve Cox tags in and elbows Angel for two. Doc lays into both opponents as the Freebirds suddenly show up to beat the hell out of Devastation Inc. at ringside. Irwin grabs his whip in the melee and does a number on Buddy Roberts, apparently injuring his throat with a handle shot. And Buddy bites the condom as we go to commercial, so you know it’s serious.

CHAVO GUERRERO vs. MIKE BOYETTE
-Whip and a backdrop by Chavo as JR asks someone to research Boyette’s win-loss record, explaining the beginning of that angle.

-Gary Young comes to the ring with an envelope, taunting Chavo long enough for Boyette to sneak up and attack him. Boyette tries a leapfrog and, uh, shouldn’t have, and Chavo slams him and finishes this. Gary goads Chavo into chasing him, and Chavo catches up and grabs the envelope to get his check back, and it’s just confetti.

-LAST WEEK: Terry Taylor is missing at the start of his Tag Team Title match, leaving Chris Adams to go it alone until Terry shows up and cleans house with his suitcase.

-Sunshine is in the ring to run down all the women in the UWF because she was the first, and she’ll outlast the rest. She throws some shade at Missy Hyatt, so Missy comes to the ring and gets Sunshine on her side by making some nasty remarks about Nickla. Nickla storms to the ring to take both of them out, so Sunshine grabs Missy’s purse and KOs Nickla with one shot, then rubs her face in the mat. Dark Journey hurries to the ring to check on her fallen comrade, and they close the segment with an absolutely porntastic saxophone solo over the slo-mo replay.

SAVANNAH JACK vs. GARY YOUNG
-Breaking: Skandar Akbar heard that Dark Journey has some sort of new recruit in waiting, so he’s challenging Dark Journey to bring the new guy to the ring so Gang can defend his title against him this week, so that match is coming up next.

-Young clotheslines Jack and chops him. Corner charge misses and Savannah Jack slams Young down. Superkick looks to finish, but Iceman comes to the ring to make trouble with a rope. Savannah Jack sees him coming and knocks Iceman cold with another superkick. He starts to tie up Iceman until Eddie Gilbert shows up with the rest of the crew. They handcuff Iceman to the top rope, and Iceman whips Jack with a belt until the forces of good storm the ring.

-Bruce Prichard talks to Chris Adams & Terry Taylor. Chris Adams wrestled alone because he didn’t want to give his opponents the satisfaction of a forfeit, and he knew Terry Taylor WOULD be there. Terry drops his first hint of what’s to come, as he offhandedly admits that if the roles were reversed, he would have forfeited and then very quickly pivots into 100% babyface promo.

UWF HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: ONE MAN GANG (Champion) vs. DARK JOURNEY’S MYSTERY MAN
-Two minutes left in the show.

-It’s Buzz Sawyer, unexpectedly a babyface being led to the ring on a leash by Dark Journey. I wouldn’t have said no, either. Akbar immediately welches, noting that Buzz just showed up this week and therefore, he’s not even ranked in the top ten. No match.

6.4

The final score: review Average

The 411

Nothing special but nothing awful either.