USWA Championship Wrestling (4.28.1990)

-1990 cannot be 30 years ago. That doesn’t seem correct.

-Originally aired April 28, 1990.

-Your host is Michael St. John, and it’s like they forgot to start rolling tape because he’s in mid-sentence as the show starts.

-We head to a house show match pitting Jimmy Valiant against Jerry Lawler. Ref is bumped right as Valiant has Lawler finished off, and Ronnie P. Weeble heads to ringside and passes a chain to the King. Right hand by the King knocks out Valiant, and Jerry Lawler recaptures the USWA Title.

-We go to the Memphis studio, with Dave Brown and Jerry Lawler on commentary.

DIRTY WHITE BOYS (with Dirty White Girl & Ronnie P. Gossett) vs. KEITH HAYNES & PORTER BAILEY
-Porteau gets surprised by a bodypress early on, and the commentators are thrown off by the strong showing from Porter Bailey. Tony Anthony tags in and slams him down as the fans taunt Gossett with a “Porky” chant. Haynes tags in and takes a beating. DWBs connect with a double-headbutt. Dropkick and a clothesline by Porteau. I need to say that my only knowledge of Porteau prior to this was his run as “The Pug” in the WWF and it’s surprising to see how much star power he actually has here as a scumbucket hick.

-Commentators are both noting how long this squash is going by Memphis standards. Suplex by Porteau gets two. Hart Attack with Anthony coming off the second rope to finally end it.

-We get the promo for this week’s house show run. Ronnie P. Gossett and the Dirty White Boys will team up for six-man action against Jeff Jarrett and the Southern Boys, and Gossett insists that he has a heart condition that precludes him from getting in the ring. Tony Anthony yanks Dirty White Girl by the hair and warns the faces that “This belongs to me!!!”

-Next, Jerry Lawler reminds us that he was the real star of the team years ago when he and Jimmy Valiant were tagging up. And now Valiant has the gall to want another match against Lawler to try to get his belt back.

SUPERSTAR BILL DUNDEE vs. HOLLYWOOD JOHN TATUM (with Jessica)
-Off to the Sportatorium, which is really a sad building to look at here. It has that “poorly promoted indy show” look to it now where fans are occupying three seats each with their arms sprawled out and assuming the full Fat Southern Sheriff posture while watching the show.

-Tatum armdrags Dundee right away and does a hilarious dance to celebrate, as there’s just not a semblance of rhythm anywhere in this guy’s body. Tatum rings the arm and celebrates. The story of the match is that any time Tatum does ANYTHING, he stops the match cold to celebrate by kissing Jessica, so it’s a matter of time before Dundee does it and gives us our house show issue.

-Tatum takes Dundee’s leg out, but Dundee blocks the toehold and kicks him away. And sure enough Dundee makes a move for the woman and Tatum is furious. Dundee gives her a liplock and Tatum is so damn mad that he punches the referee down and gets himself DQed. Jessica’s embarassed, Tatum is furious, and the booking is lazy. Dirty White Boys and Southern Rockers are STILL FEUDING and now they’re doing the same angle with singles guys.

JEFF GAYLORD (with Skandar Akbar) vs. RAGIN’ CAJUN
-Despite the awesome name, Cajun is actually just model #3X-41 from the Pale Bearded Man factory where southern wrestling promotions buy their jobbers.

-Gaylord elbows Cajun while Akbar does guest commentary. Clothesline by Gaylord. Torture rack by Gaylord, but he just drops Cajun instead of trying to win with it, and a top rope clothesline wraps it up for Gaylord.

-Jeff Gaylord warns the “Super Dwarf” Bill Dundee that he’s coming for the Southern Title. Gaylord has a GREAT look but this really hammered home why they gave him Akbar for a manager.

JEFF JARRETT vs. DOG OF WAR
-Akbar is still doing commentary and does some expository dialogue about how Dog of War has done some paid favors for Devastation Inc. in the past. Jarrett hiptosses Dog of War. Dog of War goes to a 19-year-old slim blonde girl in the front row and says something to her and she stands up ready to fight right there.

-Dog of War throws punches and pounds away at Harrett in the corner. JJ comes back with a clothesline and sunset flips Dog of War for three. JJ goes over to have words with Akbar after the bell, but the referee wants none of these shenanigans.

SOUTHERN ROCKERS (Tag Team Champions) vs. ROCKIN’ RANDY & KEITH ERIC
-Back to Memphis. Keith must not rock all that much.

-Rex King starts off hot with armdrags and forearms. Toehold by King, which Lawler says is an illegal hold but then he can’t exp;lain why. Rockin’ Randy tags in and he has a short night, as King bulldogs him and pins him immediately.

BILLY JOE TRAVIS vs. JAMES RATH
-Joined in progress from Dallas to close the show. Back suplex by Travis. Jobber comes to life for a moment, but the comeback is cut off and the Vader bomb finishes.

5.7

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

Memphis just continually comes off as the more fun place to be on these shows. The Dallas stuff is lower-energy and totally depressing.