WWF Prime Time Wrestling (3.27.1989) Review

-Originally aired March 27, 1989.

-We’re on location at Trump Plaza, and things are going much better for Bobby Heenan this year. The staff knows who he is, and all eleven of his bags have been delivered to his room. He tries to get champagne and caviar delivered to his room but charged to Gorilla’s room. Gorilla hasn’t checked in yet, which throws a wrench into his plans.

BUSHWHACKERS vs. DANGEROUS DANNY DAVIS & JOSE ESTRADA
-From Odessa, where tonight, we officially say goodbye to the most wasted push of the 1980s, as Danny Davis was launched with one hell of an angle, had the most nuclear heat of anyone other than Andre at Wrestlemania III, but couldn’t back it up long-term and got jobbed out in the span of two years. This is his last appearance on Prime Time as a wrestler.

-Estrada gets backdropped by Butch. Elbow by Luke. Danny fairs a little better with punches, and he goes to the eyes for good measure. Butch heads back in and gives him a boot to the gut. Butch chokes him out as Alfred Hayes pronounces a word very oddly and predicts that Hogan vs. Savage will be “the match of the decayed.”

-Luke bites Danny and clotheslines him down. Estrada heads back in and gets rammed into the turnbuckle. Something goes way wrong on an attempted bulldog and I don’t know what the hell either guy was going for, but the Bushwhackers just say the hell with it and go straight to the double gutbuster to end it. We hardly knew ye, Danny.

-Tony Schiavone makes his on-camera debut for the WWF, sans mustache because, as detailed on the WHW podcast, Vince told him on his first night with the company “We already have one announcer with a mustache.” Tony tells Bobby that Gorilla hasn’t bothered checking in yet because he went straight into the casino.

-They find Gorilla at the blackjack table and Bobby tries to fake his way through explaining who Tony Schiavone is. “That’s the voice you’ve been hearing on the show for the past month!” “Alfred?” Bobby goes hunting for the Uno table while Gorilla goes back to playing blackjack.

-One of my favorite Gorilla stories comes from Kerwin Silfies on Steve Austin’s podcast and it’s about this taping. They sit down and tell the dealer, “We’re going to pretend we’re playing blackjack, you just act like you’re dealing the cards.” Dealer explains that’s a gaming commission violation; he can’t pretend to do his job. So Gorilla agrees to bite the bullet and play blackjack while they tape all these segments. Towards the end, Kerwin sees Gorilla giving a waitress a tip with his chips, and Kerwin sees the value and asks “Did you just give her a $300 tip?” Gorilla nods and points to his chips, and Kerwin sees that Gorilla is up $11,000.

-We recap the Demolition/Powers of Pain feud, starting at Mr. Fuji’s great betrayal at Survivor Series. Next, we go to The Main Event but not really The Main Event, where Fuji blinds Ax and breaks his cane over Smash’s back, leading Demolition to demand a handicap match, an unusual challenge from the champions. Demolition compares the Powers of Pain and Mr. Fuji to the Three Stooges. Not even the good stooges. The Joe Besser version.

-Bobby Heenan hassles a cocktail waitress and you can smell the AquaNet through your screen 30 years later.

-Next, Gorilla’s favorite part of tonight’s program, a look back at the Red Rooster’s face turn, which means we get to watch Bobby get his ass kicked. I still can’t get over how they made Steve Lombardi look like a killing machine and then didn’t follow through with it at all.

-Next: the Hart Foundation/Honky & Hammer feud.

-Comments from Brutus Beefcake and Ted DiBiase. This was such a weird match for them to slap together for this show because they just renewed DiBiase’s push, and Brutus was about to go into a main event program.

-The Rougeaus promise to whack, whack, whack at Wrestlemania V.

-Brother Love drifts into the casino and assures us that he’s going to have the Piper’s Pit segment at Wrestlemania changed to The Brother Love Show. He pockets some of Gorilla’s chips, but gets busted by security.

-Next: Andre the Giant’s fake heart attack. I actually kind of dig the whole concept of the show, where they’re pretty much taking the week off and just making it a two-hour Wrestlemania infomercial. Jake says that the only way to become a legend in the wrestling business is to take out a legend, and Andre is taking the DDT on Sunday.

-Next: Warrior vs. Rude. Brother Love has a funny line about how Warrior might lose the match by forfeit when he forgets to change his watch for daylight saving time.

HERCULES vs. TIM PATTERSON
-Punches by Hercules as we get words from King Haku, vowing to make Herc bow down at Wrestlemania.

-Patterson throws forearms but gets clotheslined down. Torture rack finishes.

WRESTLEMANIA V REPORT
-Mean Gene runs down the full card. We get words from Strike Force. WWF Magazine actually did a great job of planting a seed around this time, with an interview where Martel says he’d really rather be a singles star and doesn’t want to be part of a tag team anymore.

BROOKLYN BRAWLER (with Bobby Heenan) vs. PAUL ROMA
-Joined in progress. Brawler has a chinlock clamped on and Heenan is demanding that the bell sound because it’s clearly all over. And that’s damn near all that’s happening. Paul Roma fights free and makes a little bit of a comeback, but Brawler rolls through a top rope bodypress and gets the win with a handful of tights. Nothing here.

-A recap of the explosion of the Mega-Powers. Well, there’s something here, by god. Hulk Hogan is glad that Wrestlemania V is finally here because his stomach keeps knotting up whenever he tries to talk about his ex-friend. We get one more solid gold promo from Savage. “No Pukesters to my left, no Pukesters to my right. Didn’t need ’em then. Don’t need ’em now.”

ROCKERS vs. BRAIN BUSTERS (with Bobby Heenan)
-Interesting thing for those who pay too much attention: The Rockers have their usual entrance music but…it’s not their usual entrance music. The instrumentation is different.

-Marty Janetty applies a side headlock. Tully Blanchard grabs the tights and turns it into a series of roll-ups. They go back and forth with side headlocks and headscissors as both guys keep countering each other. Tully slips away and tags Arn Anderson in. Shawn comes in and wrings the arm, and the Rockers are smart enough not to fall for Tully’s attempted ruse on the apron and just drag Arn to their corner. They snap both of his arms over the top rope.

-So Tully tags in and the Rockers, undeterred, just work his arm too. Brain Busters take control as we pause for a break. We return and I feel like we jumped WAY ahead because Arn is just soaked. Tully tags in and backdrops Shawn for a two-count. Shawn refuses to die, so Arn slingshots him into Tully for a hard right. Tully struts and Marty is dumb enough to be goaded by that, so he argues with the referee while Tully chokes Shawn and Bobby gives him a slap from the floor. Shawn reverses an Irish whip and the Busters collide, but Arn tags in just fast enough to stop the hot tag.

-Second time is the charm, though, so Marty heads in and cleans house. Tully trips him from the floor, and they set up for the spike piledriver, but Shawn yanks Tully off the ropes and comes off the top himself to make it a bodypress on Arn for…two, BARELY. All four men battle in the ring, but in a weird finish, Tully yanks down the top rope and Shawn tumbles out to the floor, and the referee calls for the DQ. Zuh? That’s not a WWF thing. Hell of a match, though.

6.5

The final score: review Average

The 411

So...I'm phrasing this carefully. For what it IS, it's a good show. For wrestling, it's completely skippable and you won't regret missing it. But for a primer on what Wrestlemania V was and the events leading to it, it was a fun watch.