100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA The Ghost of You Clings

Porterdale, GA – 5.4.2013

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Eddie Kingston
Campeones de Parejas: 3.0 (Scott “Jagged” Parker & Shane Matthews)
Young Lions Cup Champion: “Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti

Commentary is provided by Bryce Remsburg, Gavin Loudspeaker, Leonard F. Chikarason, and UltraMantis Black.

Gavin Loudspeaker kicks off the show with a protest song against Wink Vavasseur, set to the theme from The Monkees show. It requests that Wink submit his resignation.

A new wrestler named Shenron introduces himself. He says his opponent Chuck Taylor is talented but he has never faced an opponent quite like him.

Shenron vs. Chuck Taylor

Taylor knees Shenron in the stomach when he out impresses him. Shenron comes off the second rope to armdrag Taylor to the opposite corner. He knees him in the stomach again. Shenron headstands into a headscissors which sends Taylor to the floor. He dives after him and armdrags him to the wall! Taylor goes to commentary to complain and ends up being thrown back into the ring. Taylor brings him in from the apron with an Ace Crusher for two. He stomps Shenron down in the corner. Shenron gets two with a Yoshi Tonic. Taylor overhead suplexes him into the corner! He misses a quebrada. Shenron throws some kicks including one to the head. Taylor responds with Sole Food. Shenron hits the back handspring Ace Crusher for two. He sends Taylor to the ropes with a Frankensteiner and follows with a 619. He comes off the top with an armdrag for two. Shenron tumbles to the floor after missing a senton. Taylor release suplexes him onto the apron. Shenron kicks out. He flips off the top and spikes Taylor on his head with a reverse huracanrana! Shenron misses a twisting corkscrew quebrada. Taylor foes for the Awful Waffle. Shenron prawn rolls through it and gets the pin at 8:54! Talk about making a great first impression. Shenron wowed the crowd with his awesome offense. With a little more seasoning, he could be the next Rich Swann. Taylor was a tremendous opponent for him as their chemistry was similar to him and Ricochet. This was a very exciting away to open the show. **¾

The Colony (Fire Ant & assailANT) vs. Pieces of Hate (Jigsaw & The Shard)

Fire Ant escapes Shard’s hammerlock with a fireman’s carry. Jigsaw elbows Fire Ant off the apron. Shard chop blocks assailANT’s leg out and gives him a kneeDT. Meanwhile, Jigsaw suplexes Fire Ant back first onto the apron. The Pieces of Hate take turns dissecting assailANT’s knee. assailANT suplexes Jigsaw into a uranage slam. Shard pulls assailANT away but gets kicked to the corner. Fire Ant comes in with a high crossbody and the Yahtzee Kick. He suicide dives after Shard. He goes for it again but gets punched by Jigsaw in the mid-section. Fire Ant comes back with a tornado DDT. The Colony gives him the Ants Marching dropkick. The Shard takes the Ants Marching neckbreaker. Jigsaw breaks the pin. Fire Ant trades shots with him and The Shard. Shard superkicks Fire Ant into Jigsaw’s brainbuster for two. Fire Ant gives him a pump kick. Shard Jon Woo dropkicks assailANT. He tries a brainbuster on Fire Ant, but Fire Ant Burns Down the House instead. assailANT nails a twisting lariat. He catches Jigsaw coming off the ropes with a uranage for two. Jigsaw stomps his back and German suplexes him. Fire Ant breaks the cover. He spikes Jigsaw with the Beach Break! Shard kicks Fire Ant to stop the count. He gutwrenches him up into the Gory Bomb for two. assailANT goes for Get The Sugar on Shard. Shard counters with a waterwheel slam in the corner. A brainbuster and top rope double stomp puts assailANT away at 11:13. The Pieces of Hate continue to shine in tag action. assailANT and Fire Ant look more formidable the more they team. The action was great, the crowd was into it, and the right team won. Good stuff all around. ***¼

Gran Akuma vs. Sugar Dunkerton

Icarus is in Dunkerton’s corner. Dunkerton snapmares out of a wristlock. He traps Akuma’s head between his legs. As he’s playing to his hometown crowd, Akuma escapes and then rolls him into a Bow and Arrow. Akuma holds onto a side headlock. Dunkerton pops out. He locks the legs, does a little dancing, and falls back to add pressure to Akuma’s legs. He does a little Flair dancing when going for a figure four. Akuma kicks him away. Dunkerton butt bumps him like Iceman King Parsons. Akuma gives him a sole butt and fallaway kick in response. He dropkicks him in the neck. Icarus places Dunkerton’s foot on the bottom rope. Dunkerton does not appreciate the help. Akuma goes after his legs. Dunkerton turns over to reverse the pressure of a figure four leg lock. The hold is released and Dunkerton begins to throw punches and chops at Akuma’s chest. Akuma sends Dunkerton to the apron and kicks him to the floor. Akuma goes for a slingshot tope con hilo. Icarus moves Dunkerton out of the way to take the blow! In the ring Akuma sends Dunkerton off the ropes and catches him with a German suplex. He does the deal with a Falcon Arrow for two. He drops him with the mp4 for two. He goes up top but Icarus shoves him into the ring. Referee Dan Yost disqualifies Dunkerton at 7:51. Well that was going along fine until the finish. If it had some more time it could have kicked into the next gear and really been something neat, but as it was we just had a fine exhibition. **¼

Dunkerton grabs a microphone after the match. He tells Icarus that he waited forever for CHIKARA to come to Georgia. He didn’t come here to lose, or have someone cheat on his behalf to do it. He has to deal with the fact that he lost in front of his people because of Icarus. He’s tired of the politics and everything that comes with being in F.I.S.T. Most of all, he’s tired of Icarus. He declares himself a free agent and quits.

Amasis bets Kobald thought Wrestlecon was rough. He tells him that tonight will get a lot rougher. Tonight is just the two of them, and Kobald will experience a lot of pain and suffering.

Amasis vs. Kobald

Kobald attacks Amasis from behind during his entrance. They chop each other around ringside. Some fans chop Kobald as well. Ophidian makes his way out just as Kobald suplexes Amasis onto the floor! He then powerbombs him onto the ring apron! The match officially starts as Kobald brings Amasis back into the ring to further do damage to his back. Amasis fires back with some chops. Kobald has some of his own, but Amasis levels him with some clotheslines. He gets two with a spinebuster. Kobald bites his neck and delivers a powerbomb. They fight to the top rope. Kobald brings Amasis down with a super tombstone! Amasis somehow kicks out. Kobald misses the Demon’s Toilet. He throws some slaps at Amasis’ face. Amasis picks him up and drops him in an Air Raid Crash. He nails him with a rolling forearm strike for the pin at 5:42. There were some crazy spots that didn’t end up doing much. Yes, Amasis’ back was worked over for most of the match, but is it really necessary to bust out a super tombstone for no real reason? If nothing else, it made Amasis look tough for his encounter with Ophidian at Aniversario. **

deviANT explains that he jumped at the opportunity to become the new leader of The Colony: Xtreme Force. Last night he led them to victory and claims that tonight will be no different.

The Spectral Envoy (UltraMantis Black, Hallowicked & Frightmare) & Green Ant vs. The Colony: Xtreme Force (deviANT, Arctic Rescue Ant, Missile Assault Ant & Orbit Adventure Ant)

This was originally set as a trios bout, but with deviANT joining the Xtreme Force and Green Ant having no match after losing his Grand Championship match last night, it was decided to make this an Atomicos bout. Green Ant and deviANT trade control on the mat. The rest of the Xtreme Force attacks when Green Ant goes for the Cloverleaf. The Envoy jump in but Bryce Remsburg diffuses the situation. Frightmare jumps onto Missile who took off his mask at “The Shoulder of Pallas.” They trade slaps to the face. Frightmare delivers a yakuza kick. Missile attacks him in the stomach. The Xtreme Force goes for the mask, leading to a fight amongst all the competitors. Hallowicked and Mantis hit the Sidewinder on Arctic for two. Hallowicked and Mantis team up on deviANT. Orbit breaks Hallowicked’s pin after a Swanton Bomb. The Envoy is dragged to the floor, leaving Orbit to knee Frightmare in the face. The Xtreme Force team up on Frightmare and go after his mask. Mantis prevents this from occurring, but then ends up being beaten down himself. They toss him to the floor and bring Frightmare back in. Once again, they try to unmask him. He DDT’s Missile and tags in Hallowicked. He hits a step-up enzuigiri in the corner. Go 2 Sleepy Hollow follows for two. He goes after Missile’s mask as a measure of retribution. Orbit stops him and delivers a Roll of the Dice. Green Ant lariats him. deviANT takes him out but then falls to Mantis’ Cosmic Disaster. Frightmare gives Arctic the Frightmare on Elm St. Missile drops him with a brainbuster. The Envoy and Green Ant superplex the Xtreme Force back into the ring from the apron. Green Ant gets two on Missile with a sit-out Gourd buster. Frightmare dives onto the rest of the Xtreme Force. Mantis gives Missile an Uncle Slam. He goes for the Praying Mantis Bomb. Missile purposefully takes off his mask leaving it in Mantis’ hands. Bryce sees this as Mantis unmasking him and awards the match to the Xtreme Force at 12:07. This was another situation where a match was about to kick things up and then ended. It got a little bit further than some of the previous matches but I was really looking forward to where it was all leading. I guess we will have our answer in subsequent bouts. ***¼

Tim Donst comes out with Jakob Hammermeier, Veronica Ticklefeather, and Steve “The Turtle” Weiner. He says Aniversario is coming up on June 2nd. Last June 2nd, at “Chikarasaurus Rex”, Donst reminds us that he not only lost his hair but his passion for professional wrestling. Yet here he stands in the ring today. He feels it’s time for one of his followers to be enlightened again. He forces Jakob to sit on Turtle like a chair. He slaps him in the face a few times and begins shaving his head. Gavin on the microphone tells Jakob that he doesn’t need Donst and that he doesn’t have to take this from him. When Jakob shows the slightest bit of resistance, Donst slaps him down. Jakob looks very angry but takes no physical action.

Saturyne vs. Tim Donst

As Donst is yelling at his crew, Saturyne hops onto his shoulders and throws some punches. She rolls him forward for a two count and then puts on the Rings of Saturyne. She headscissors Donst to the corner and brings him out with a DDT. She goes for an apron DDT. Donst catches her and drops her onto the ropes. Donst then chokes Saturyne with his shirt. He powerbombs her back in the ring. Donst powerslams her. Saturyne kicks out, so Donst rubs his forearm into her face. He hits the Donst Cap. Saturyne armdrags him into the corner. With Donst’s group cheering him on, Gavin decides to even things up by cheering for Saturyne ringside. Saturyne headscissors Donst to the corner and dropkicks him. Donst is pre-occupied with yelling at Gavin when Saturyne hits another dropkick. Donst grabs Gavin and pulls him up to the apron. Saturyne O’Conner rolls Donst for the pin at 6:21! Obviously the match was nothing more than a conduit for Donst and Gavin’s issue to build, but it was fun while it lasted. **

After the match, Donst gives Gavin a Death Valley Driver. The referees yell at Donst, saying that Gavin isn’t a wrestler. Donst says he’s worse than wrestler because he chooses to be around CHIKARA. Donst on the other hand is stuck here. He holds the microphone up to Gavin and says for the first time he has nothing to say. Veronica hands Donst a pair of scissors so he can clip of some more of his hair. He goes as far as to eat his hair which is truly disgusting to watch. Gavin is taken out on a stretcher.

CHIKARA Grand Championship
Eddie Kingston vs. “Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti

Kingston keeps Angelosetti in a side headlock. He rolls him into a Gedo Clutch for two, then reapplies the headlock. Angelosetti chops Kingston in the corner. Kingston comes off the second rope with a knee to his neck, but it’s clear that his leg is in pain. Angelosetti notices and spears the leg out from under him. Of course, that becomes the target in his offense. He splashes and drops elbows on it before using the ring apron and ropes to do some damage. Back in the ring he splashes Kingston twice. Kingston slaps him in the face, so Angelosetti splashes his leg. He shoulder blocks Kingston in the corner twice. Kingston goes for a kick. Angelosetti catches it. Kingston trash talks him, so Angelosetti jams his foot and leg into the canvas. Kingston fights him off of the ropes. He comes down with a clothesline. He nails a short arm lariat for two. He signals for the Backfist. Angelosetti ducks it and powerfully gives Kingston a knee-targeted spinebuster. He busts out a Superfly Splash for two. He tries the Flea Flicker. Kingston fights out, but succumbs to a second spinebuster. When Kingston kicks out, Angelosetti puts on a half crab. Kingston gets the ropes. Angelosetti misses a splash in the corner. Kingston gives him a 2k1 Bomb for two. He hits a Backfist. Angelosetti shakes it off so he can dump Kingston on his head with a modified Flea Flicker! Kingston kicks out! Angelosetti heads up top. Kingston throws some chops to cut him off. He brings him down with a super uranage suplex for the pin at 14:18. This really made Angelosetti look strong. In a lot of matches he’s the tough guy who almost gets defeated, but here was able to look smart and undeterred in his quest for gold. I also appreciate that they took a different approach after the leg work and changed things up. I would not at all mind seeing Touchdown with the Grand Championship one day, but I for one am not at all tired of Kingston carrying the belt just yet. ***¾

Scott “Jagged” Parker says the measure of a champion is how long they’re able to hold the belts. The first time he and Shane Matthews were the Campeones, they were just happy to reach the Promised Land. This time around they know how to stay champs. They don’t care if they have to fend off all the Batiri members tonight, they’re planning on staying champions.

Campeonatos de Parejas
3.0 (Scott “Jagged” Parker & Shane Matthews) vs. The Batiri (Obariyon & Kodama)

Matthews wins the opening exchange with Obariyon, sending him out with a dropkick. Jagged armdrags Kodama to the corner. Kodama flubs a slingshot Frankensteiner, but elbows Jagged to the floor and moonsaults onto him from the apron. Matthews controls Obariyon by his arm. Jagged suplexes him and drops an elbow for two. He amrdrags Kodama to the corner and leg lariats Obariyon. 3.0 team up on the Batiri as Ophidian and Kobald make their way ringside. A distraction from Ophidian allows Kobald to snaps Matthews neck on the top rope. Obariyon and Kodama ram Jagged’s hurt ribs into the ring post! As Jagged is being checked on, Obariyon hits the Rapture DDT on Matthews to earn the first fall for the Batiri at 6:03. Matthews gets beaten and battered in the second fall as his partner recovers backstage. Matthews manages to suplex Oobariyon ont Kodama to get a respite from the beating. He fights Kodama on the apron. Kodama leaves him to take a Rapture DDT on the apron from Obariyon. The Batiri seem content to get a count out victory, so they leave Matthews for dead. Matthews however makes it back into the ring. Matthews fights off of Kodama’s shoulders, shoving him into the corner to crotch Obariyon on the top rope. Matthews rolls up Kodama for the pin and to get the second fall at 10:53. Once again Matthews finds himself being overwhelmed having to fend off both Batiri members. Gran Akuma helps bring Jagged back to the ring. Kobald spears Akuma! Matthews drops Obariyon with a spinebuster but gets jumped by Kodama. He clothesline the Batiri down and tags in Jagged who’s ribs are now taped up. He throws fists at all four Batiri members. He’s too hurt for a Samoan Drop to Kodama, yet musters him up for a Gory Bomb. He pops Obariyon up into a spear from Matthews. Kodama breaks the pin. He goes for a Frakensteiner but gets put in the Boston Crab instead. Obariyon drops an elbow on Bryce Remsburg! Matthews gets Obariyon to tap out to the Crab but Bryce is still out. Ophidian accidentally spits his red mist into Kodama’s face! Kobald sneaks in for a spear and ends up nailing Ophidian. Bryce recovers to see Obariyon tapping out, calling for the bell and giving 3.0 the win at 15:20. There were a few too many missteps in this match and a crowd that seemingly checked out after the Grand Championship match. While Jagged being taken out was clever, it didn’t add all that much drama to the bout. I would have switched the order of the title matches in hindsight, but what can you do? **¾

Bonus Pre-Show Match
Platinum Championship Wrestling Showcase
The Washington Bullets (Jon & Trey Williams) vs. The Empire (The Jagged Edge & Shane Marx)

Ms. Rachel is in the corner of The Empire. Trey and Jon make frequent tags to work over Marx’s arm. Marx pokes Trey in the eye and tags in Edge. Trey rolls him up when they’re set to lock up. Jon dropkicks Edge into Trey’s crucifix pin. Edge knees Trey in the stomach and delivers a clothesline. Jon holds Marx in a Camel Clutch and Trey dropkicks him in the face. Edge knees Jon from the apron and Marx nails a clothesline. Edge targets his attack on Jon’s back. Jon rocks Marx with a couple punches, but then gets dropped with a spinebuster for two. Marx positions him in the corner. Jon knees Edge to the floor and pescado’s after him. This brings in Trey with some clotheslines to Marx. He throws a couple boots before delivering the Captain Morgan stomp. Edge breaks the cover. Trey bodyscissors Edge so Jon can kick him in the face. Trey drops Marx with a Rough Ryder for two. Trey eats a chop block/lariat combo. Jon makes the save and sends Edge out. Trey goes for a pescado but Edge catches him. Trey shoves him into the ring post. Jon gives Marx a back cracker into Trey’s Ace Crusher for the pin at 8:15. This was arguably one of the better showcase matches CHIKARA has seen. Neither team went too crazy given that they were in a pre-show bout, but I really liked what I saw, especially from the Bullets. **½

The 411: The card is just about split down the middle. Half of them are really good and worth your time while the others' were too short or didn't have much effect on the landscape as a whole. It's not a bad show, as does have lots of story advancement, but a lot of matches fell short of delivering on expectations. Some of that has to do with booking, some of it has to do with how much time was given, but no matter how you slice it it makes for an average CHIKARA show. If you really want to see Kingston vs. Angelosetti I'd say it's worth your money and time but otherwise you can skip right over to Tag World or Aniversario. You can purchase the show on DVD, mp4, or steam it On Demand over at Smart Mark Video. Be sure to check out all of my CHIKARA reviews at my CHIKARA blog; "The CHIKARA Special" and all the CHIKARA news over at "The CHIKARA Special" Tumblr. In addition to that, you can check out a lot of promos from CHIKARA DVDs over at the CHIKARA Special YouTube Page. Be sure to follow me on Twitter as well!

Final Score:  6.0   [ Average ]