411’s WWE Smackdown Report 09.11.03

411’s WWE Smackdown Report 09.11.03
By Ashish for 411

– Tajiri & Nunzio vs. Rey Mysterio & Kidman
Rey gets a pretty damn good pop. Tajiri draws major heat, probably due to his pre-SD! promo against Alabama (check the spoilers). I smell a BONZO GONZO in this one. Solid match here. WWE’s cruiserweights rarely disappoint when given the opportunity. Finish saw Tajiri nailing a stiff kick to Mysterio for the win. It’s sad that WWE refuses to give the Cruiserweights any time to really create a memorable match. Instead they are all blurs of each other.
– Winners: Tajiri & Nunzio

– Everyone’s favorite wacky trio of Vince McMahon, the Big Show, and Sable are shown backstage reading the new WWE Superstars poster book (gimmie a break). Something’s missing from this amazing group of talent…and here she is…Stephanie. Stephanie insults her father, passing the blame to him for setting up Zach Gowen’s beating and flight at the hands of Brock Lesnar. Speaking of the MONSTER, he is behind Stephanie and she didn’t even notice! Sort of like the Siddler from Seinfeld! Someone give this guy some Tic-Tacs. Stephanie reminds the MONSTER of how he tapped out, un-MONSTER like, to Kurt Angle at Summerslam. Brock offers to wrestle someone tonight in a warm up match for next week’s Iron Man match. He offers to take on the Undertaker, Kurt Angle (that wouldn’t make much sense), and Zach Gowen. Sadly, none are here tonight. He can, however, fight the Big Show or Vince. But wait, Brock points out that he has already fought those guys (as opposed to the Undertaker, Kurt Angle, and Zach Gowen, who he obviously has never faced). Brock says the only person he hasn’t faced is Stephanie herself. Vince seems to like this idea since he thinks it’ll pop a rating (little does he know). He gives Stephanie the decision, fight Brock tonight or resign as Smackdown GM! FEEL THE TENSION!

– Torrie Wilson is backstage with Nidia. They chat it up with Dawn Marie about her upcoming match with SHANIQUA. Dawn, suddenly being the courageous one, says she must stand up to the evil SHANIQUA due to her recent bullying. You go, girl!

– Shaniqua vs. Dawn Marie
Match was kept short as it should have been. Shaniqua was dominating until the bountiful duo of Torrie Wilson and Nidia bounced to the ring, attacked SHANQ, and caused a DQ. SHANQ held her own until Torrie nailed her with a chair, thus halting the SHANQ ATTACK.
– Winner: SHANQ by DQ

– Backstage, Sable assures Stephanie that if she decides to quit, she’ll be more than willing to take her spot. What a sweet gal.

– Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno
Both guys got solid reactions. Solid TV match that was given enough time to build into something about average. A-Train ran in to help Rhyno but was unable to get the job done. Benoit countered a Rhyno offensive move into the Crossface for the win via submission.
– Winner: Chris Benoit

– Backstage, it’s more wackyness with the zany APA. They are playing poker with Matt Hardy. Matt shows some anger about how APA treats Bruce, while he of course treats Shannon Moore like crap. I get it.

– John Cena vs. Eddie Guerrero in a LATINO Street Fight
It’s street fight time. Something tells me a car will get involved at some point. Cena busts a flow to start as usual, and then the brawl begins, cars and all. Really well executed match that allowed the guys to live up to the gimmick. Finish saw Eddie nail a Frogsplash on Cena on top of the hood of a car. Man, both of these guys could be break out stars THIS YEAR if WWE had a clue.
– Winner: Eddie Guerrero

– The APA vs. Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore
It’s your usual APA squash here. Back and forth action until Bradshaw hits the big clothesline for the win. Glorified squash basically.
– Winners: The APA

– Brock Lesnar vs. Stephanie McMahon
Vince comes out to introduce THE MONSTER. Stephanie comes out and gives both guys a low blow, then leaves. I can see why Vince thought this would draw ratings. Anyway, since he is a MONSTER, Brock drags her back in. This brings out the anti-MONSTER, Kurt Angle, for the save. Yeah. Who even expects WWE to deliver on these main events anymore? WWE is taking a pretty big gamble and going in somewhat uncharted waters next week by giving up so much of SD! to the Iron Man match. Should be interesting.