Dark Pegasus Video Review: Clash of the Champions XII: Mountain Madness/Fall Brawl II

Clash of the Champions XII: Mountain Madness/Fall Brawl II by J.D. Dunn Twitter.com/jddunn411 Brightkite.com/jddunn411 Facebook.com/jddunn411 Examiner.com September 5, 1990 Asheville, N.C.. Your hosts are Jim Ross and Bob Caudle. Opening Match: The Wild-Eyed Southern Boys (w/Bob Armstrong) vs. The Fabulous Freebirds (w/Buddy Roberts). This was supposed to be a six-man tag with Buddy rejoining the ‘Birds to face the Armstrongs and Tracy Smothers, but Buddy is injured. The Southern Boys are absolutely HYPER tonight, unleashing an onslaught of punches and dropkicks on the ‘Birds. Hayes upon ducking to the floor: “It ain’t goin’ right!” No shinola. These two had a series of TV matches that solved nothing, by the way. Roberts gives them some gruff advice, that might as well have been “cheat like the bastards you are.” That works for a while, as they isolate Tracy Smothers. Nothing to report. Scott Armstrong gets the hot tag and cleans house. Bob sneaks in and CLOCKS Michael Hayes, but Buddy cheats and attacks. Apparently, there are too many people in the ring because they keep botching stuff. Eventually, the Southern Boys hit double sunset flips on the ‘Birds at 8:34. I wonder if they didn’t have something better planned before the injury because this just looks like they went out there and threw something together. The ‘Birds leave Bullet Bob laying. *3/4 The Steiners show off their U.S. Titles and promise to come after Doom. Capt. Mike Rotunda vs. Buddy Landell. To take George Carlin out of context: “Whoooo made this man a Captain, might I ask?” Bob Caudle notes that Landell is looking to impress his favorite band, Skid Row. 48 and life you got it. 48 and life you know! Good Lord, this is boring. Headlocks, armbars, some cheating. Nothing in between. That’s just the match. Rotunda wins with a backslide at 5:35. Mike was in desperate need of a makeover, and he’d get one soon after. 3/4* Tony Schiavone catches up with the Freebirds who promise to continue the fine work of General Robert E. Lee… or something. I stopped paying attention once I saw the Confederate Flag painted on their faces. Wrestling gimmick in 1990, or Glenn Beck rally in 2009? Who can ever tell? The Master Blasters vs. Tim Horner & Brad Armstrong. Woof. The Master Blasters are two big dudes known as Steel and Iron. One of them you probably know. Horner and Armstrong are not “The Lightning Express” here, presumably because that would be something akin to marketable. No no no. Instead, Tim Horner is “White Lightning” and Brad Armstrong is “The Candy Man” (complete with Bow Wow Wow’s “I Want Candy” as his theme). Thankfully, Caudle explains that the Master Blasters are just sooty for working in the steel mills because it really looked like they were going for blackface. The Blasters totally dominate with power moves. Steel, the one you probably know, is just horrible at this point, catching Horner in a Fireman’s Carry and then VICIOUSLY… setting him down on his feet near the corner. The Blasters toss Armstrong and finish Horner with a double shoulderblock at 4:50. The big doofus known as Steel would go on to become Oz, Vinnie Vegas, Diesel and… Kevin Nash. The Blasters didn’t last long, with good reason. 1/4* Brian Pillman plugs the “Gauntlet,” which was a gimmick to push the B-Shows. You draw three names on the first show, and then you have to wrestle all three guys over the next few shows. If you defeat them all, you get $15,000. If you lose one match, the three guys get $5,000. This would be a good idea for something like WWE Superstars. The Nasty Boys vs. Terry Taylor & Jackie Fulton. Jackie is Bobby Fulton’s (of the Fantastics) brother. Despite his obvious talent and pedigree, he didn’t make it as much more than a preliminary wrestler in the big two, although he formed The Fantastics II with brother Bobby. His big mark would come in All Japan where he saw success as “The American Eagle,” a cohort of the Patriot. That would make him the Sam Wilson to Del Wilkes’ Steve Rogers. This would be the NWA debut of the Nasty Boys. Taylor and Fulton wrestle just like a good old-fashioned southern team. A lot of these guys were interchangeable. You could probably put Tommy Rich and Buddy Landell in there and have the same match. Fulton cleans house on the Nasties, even hitting a German Suplex. Knobbs catches him on a flying crossbody and powerslams him. That sets up Saggs elbow off the top at 7:11. Rather typical debut match for the Nasties. As soon as they got over, though, they bolted for the WWF. ** Sid Vicious only cares about winning the title, not about hyping any of the other angles Schiavone asked him about. Wild Bill Irwin vs. Tommy Rich. Ross gets bored and talks about colleges and high schools. Caudle seems interested, though. Irwin, if you’ve never seen him wrestle, is kind of like a roughneck Seamus. Lots of kicks to the head. He knocks Rich off the apron into the barricade. Ouch. Back in, Irwin misses an avalanche in the corner, and Rich finishes him off with a running Thesz Press at 3:59. Bleh. Irwin was pretty cool back in the UWF, but this is just filler. 1/2* WCW Top Ten. Luger is the #1 contender for Sting’s title. The Steiners are the #1 contenders for Doom’s World Titles. More importantly, the #10 tag team is Mike Rotunda & Tim Horner. Does Rotunda know Horner is cheating on him with Brad Armstrong? Stan Hansen snorts, coughs and farts his way through a promo as he finds out he’s only ranked #6. Women’s Title: Susan Sexton vs. Bambi. I don’t foresee this breaking us out of our rut. In case you were wondering, no the NWA didn’t have a proper Women’s Title, or at least WCW didn’t (don’t ask, it’s a longer explanation than it’s worth). This is for the LPWA Title. I’ll just talk a bit about that since this match is blander than a Jay Leno joke. The LPWA was Tor Berg’s answer to G.L.O.W., and while G.L.O.W. was more “sports entertainment,” the LPWA was more about athletic competition. Sort of a forerunner of SHIMMER in that regard. The roster was fairly respectable, boasting Malia Hosaka, Leilani Kai, Judy Martin, Peggy Lee Leather and Sexton. They even had a PPV main evented by Leather (in her Lady X gimmick) and Terri Power. If you’re thinking the name “Terri Power” sounds familiar, you probably know her as “Tori” (stalker of Trish Stratus, later girlfriend of Kane and X-Pac, eventually Raven’s “ninja”) in the WWE. Now, would you fork over your money to watch Tori in the main event? Bambi small packages Sexton, but Sexton reverses it for the pin at 4:11. Bleh. You can pretty much write off American women wrestlers until 2005. There just wasn’t an appetite for it. WCW would sever the contract with the LPWA a few months after this, but the LPWA would stay in business another year. 1/2* U.S. Tag Team Titles: The Steiner Bros. vs. Maximum Overdrive. In more big stiff news, Maximum Overdrive is Jeff Warner and Tim Hunt. Just picture Mike Awesome and a roided-up Will Arnett. I can’t tell them apart, but one guy is Hunter and one guy is Silencer. Want to know how you can tell a bad wrestler? If he whips his opponent into the ropes and hits a move for two and then hauls him up and Irish whips him again without any move in between – that’s horribly uncreative. I can do that on Raw vs. Smackdown all day. Silencer does at least once in this match. Anyway, MO is just here to make the Steiners’ power moves look that much more impressive. Rick finishes Silencer with a doubleteam Top-Rope DDT at 6:23. I’ll be generous because watching the Steiners toss big guys around is always entertaining. ** Stan Hansen vs. Z-Man. Hansen absolutely mauls Zenk without surcease. LARIATOOOOOH! Zenk, that used to be your head. Hansen impresses with a MURDERDEATHKILL at 3:19. We barely got time to check in with Lex Luger, who assures us he’s not intimidated. This looked like Tie Domi targeting some kid in junior hockey. For point of effect – this kid’s voice kept going through my mind as I watched the match STOP! STOP! HE’S ALREADY DEAD! 1/4* Lex Luger isn’t impressed, though. He’s got his mind on Ric Flair. U.S. Title: Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair. Flair is *challenging* for the title here, which is odd. Both guys want the title to challenge Sting, although Luger purports to be Sting’s friend. He overpowers Flair early and clotheslines him over. Ref: “Um… that was… his momentum?” Back in, Luger roars out of the corner with a lariat. Flair feigns a shoulder injury and then suckerpunches Luger. Problem: Do guys like Luger, Sting and Steamboat *ever* learn from match to match? Flair goes to work on Luger’s leg. He does stop to threaten Ted Turner and Jim Herd. Luger slugs his way back but takes the good ol’ thumb to the eye. Flair goes up but gets caught and slammed off. SUPERPLEX by Luger. Flair goes back to the eyes, and a crossbody takes them both to the floor. That gives Stan Hansen an opening to run in and strangle Luger with the bullrope. That’s a DQ at 15:30. Typically great Flair vs. Luger match. Using it as a backdrop to a Luger vs. Hansen feud seems a little counterintuitive, though. ***1/2 The Black Scorpion promises to reveal his identity if Sting can beat him. NWA Heavyweight Title: Sting vs. The Black Scorpion. I know even the booker of the Black Scorpion angle has disowned it, but I still think it’s kind of cool in a comic bookish way. I mentioned in one of my myriad of reviews that Al Perez, who is playing the Scorpion for this show, was one of the guys considered for the revelation. I believe it was our own Mike Campbell who said, “Wait? What!?!” or words to that effect. As I understood from wherever I read it years ago (I’ve read a *lot* of stuff about wrestling over the years, so you’ll have to forgive me for not remembering where a tidbit comes from now and then), WCW, as usual, didn’t communicate the angle very clearly to Perez, so Perez actually thought he was under consideration for a main event push and was upset when it didn’t happen. Of course, as we all know now, the Scorpion was *supposed* to be Dave Sheldon, aka the Angel of Death, who was one of Sting’s running buddies very early in his career. Since the Angel was only over in the UWF and Stampede, though, that didn’t make much sense. The Scorpion chokes a lot, lest he use a signature maneuver and be found out. Then again, Perez didn’t have many signature moves. Sting fights back, but his big failing is trying to go after the mask. It’s a distraction that allows the Scorpion to take over. Sting pins the Scorpion after a Stinger splash at 8:13. Suck it, Perez. 1/4* After the match, Sting rips off the Scorpion’s mask to find… another mask. Turns out that this Scorpion is just the “Lefty Donovan” of Scorpions. The real Black Scorpion comes out and stares at Sting from the ramp. Ha ha! Screw all of you who waited to see the Scorpion’s identity.

The 411: A horrible show outside of the Flair/Luger match and the perverse entertainment involved in watching the Black Scorpion angle. Some of the interesting angles carry this show above its wrestling pedigree, but not nearly enough for a recommendation. Thumbs way down.
Final Score:  3.0   [ Bad ]