Ring Crew Reviews: WCW Halloween Havoc 1996

• Scheduled Card:
1. WCW Cruiserweight Championship: Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. (c).
2. Battle for the Ring: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Eddie Guerrero.
3. The Giant vs. Jeff Jarrett.
4. Syxx vs. Chris Jericho.
5. Arn Anderson vs. Lex Luger.
6. The Faces of Fear vs. Mongo McMichael & Chris Benoit.
7. WCW World Tag Team Championship: The Outsiders vs. Harlem Heat (c).
8. WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Macho Man Randy Savage vs. Hollywood Hogan (c).

• Video package is all about how Hogan turned on WCW and joined the n.W.o, THOSE THUGS! Savage is face and feuding with Hogan because Hogan tried to steal away Liz…. again.

• Dusty, Tony, and Brain on commentary. Dusty says he has talked to hundreds of people stumbling into the desert (because the show is in Vegas) and they are all here because THERE’S A FIGHT IN TOWN! The PPV set piece design has a rip off of some comic book villain paying homage to the greatness of Slim Jim, the advertiser. Excellent.

• WCW Cruiserweight Championship: Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. (c). Brain says that Malenko is going to win the belt because he refused to let a bellhop carry his bags at the hotel meaning HE’S ALL BUSINESS TONIGHT, BABY! Tony calls this the “most anticipated cruiserweight title ever.” In a previous match, Dean stole one of Rey’s masks and he’s got it with him. Dean boots down Rey before the bell and folds him up with a BEAST back suplex for 2. Malenko with an Alabama Slam and wants the Texas Cloverleaf already but Mysterio legwhips him over WITH AUTHORITY! Good start. Even though he isn’t part of the crew, Tony calls in Tenay to fill us in on Mexican wrestling heritage presumably through the use of one of those Zack Morris cell phones. Mysterio flips out of some stuff and sends Malenko into the turnbuckle. Dean avoids a rana but eats a drop toe hold and a flying armdrag and he takes a breather. Mysterio teases a tope suicida. Mysterio is lightning quick here. Malenko tries to take a walk and bring the stolen mask with him. Mysterio cuts off his exit with a tope con hilo and now puts on the stolen mask to get his heat back. Back in, Rey with some punches in the corner and a victory roll for 2. Rey tries a headscissors and Dean counters to a side slam to slow him down. Malenko with a gordbuster and just DROPS REY ON THE ROPES! MASSIVE heel heat for that. Dean goes to a half crab. Dean switches to a half bow and arrow. Dean now with a HUGE belly to back suplex off the top. He covers for 1, 2, 2 ½. Malenko now with a headscissors submission. Like a true gentleman, Dean rolls over so Rey can get the ropes for the next spot. Dean with a hanging vertical suplex for 1, 2, 2 ½! Dean blocks a sunset flip but Rey with a small package for a close 2 count. Quite the deliberate pace here by Stinko as he goes to another resthold. Tenay chimes in and blames it on Mysterio’s grueling time schedule since “winning the World’s Heavyweight Championship.” I wonder if he got Zack Morris’s time traveling ability with that cell phone. Brain says that travel schedule is even harder when it’s all by bus. Dusty now wants to “interpretate” and says “this guy [Mysterio] could be TIRED. And when you’re TIRED, mentally—but I really believe from talking to him earlier, me and you, before we came on the air, right here at Slim Jim’s Halloween Havoc right here in the desert while a fight’s going on, he seemed confident of knowing what he has to do. This young man gets up for the task at hand.” Dean sends him off and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2. Tony: “THE YOUNG MAN KNOWS HOW TO KICKOUT, DOESN’T HE?!”

• Now, they powder out for nothing so we’re back in. Back in, Dean goes to the sleeper and hooks in a body triangle. Tony showing how little the world knew about submission wrestling at that point says that maybe MYSTERIO dropped MALENKO down in the middle of the ring and let him apply the triangle for his own benefit. Rest assured though, Tenay used Preppy’s time machine to watch some UFC and he edifies the crew on the psychology of the hold. Dean throws him down by the mask and goes back to the sleeper. Dusty tries to put over the cruiserweight title and wants to say prominent and somehow mixes in traumatic to say “traumanent” and then says Rey “eats, sleeps, and breathes the cruiserweight title.” Dean with a beast Gargoyle suplex for 2. Malenko goes to the crucifix submission. Rey: “AHHHH MY BACK! AHHHH NO! NO!” They jockey for position on the top rope and knock each other to the floor. Rey botches some tornado whatever off the guardrail so Dean covers with the BLATANTLOWBLOW! Back in, Rey no sells and counters a tilt-a-whirl with a crossbody for 2. Rey with a springboard somersault seated senton and rolls up Dean for 1, 2, 2.7! Tony manages to plug Slim Jim’s 37 times recapping the match. More reversals as Rey with another razor thin roll up for 1, 2, 2.9! Dean with another vertical suplex for 2. Rey throws Dean to the floor and follows out with a springboard corkscrew moonsault to the floor. Rey with a springboard rana for 2. Crowd is really getting into the nearfalls. Rey tries another but Dean counters to the LOW DOWN POWERBOMB! Cover gets 1, 2, 2.99! Crowd is eating these up. Rey now with some knees up top but Dean counters to a GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB OFF THE TOP! Cover gets 1, 2, 3 to win it at 18:28. Strong match that slowed down a bit in the middle so Dean could mercilessly pulverize Rey’s ass all over the ring even if it was a bit slow. Crowd really seemed to come alive for Rey’s last few ranas even if they were not with them the whole way. ***1/2

• Lee Marshall complete with hornrims and a unibrow is in the back. He says Flair was supposed to be Giant’s opponent but instead he was taken out and he’s replaced by a fine athletic specimen, a charismatic performer… Sting? Luger? Macho? No, it’s Jeff Jarrett. Yes, that Jeff Jarrett. This is sort of the beginning of trying to sell Jarrett as a major free agent from WWF and that he could be a valuable member of the Horsemen. Whatever. Jarrett tries putting over himself and Flair as men of tradition but has this weird way of pausing and throwing in a completely disingenuous smirk and cackle that completely undermine him as a face. Jarrett says he isn’t impressed with monster trucks because they are having a match inside the ring. Jarrett says he won’t get ChokeSlammed tonight. Flair now enters in and entirely overshadows Jarrett just because he’s so much more awesome than him. Yeah, the moral of this story is that Jarrett should never replace Flair and that Jarrett is much better as a heel.

• Battle for the Ring: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Eddie Guerrero. DDP stole Eddie’s Battlebowl ring and this is for it, even though, according to Tony, DDP doesn’t know where it is. Nick Patrick, soon to be evil, is reffing right now with a brace on his neck. They smack each other a few times to start and Eddie with some GnP and DDP takes a breather. He sends Eddie into the barricade on the floor to come back. Back in, DDP works the arm but runs into a hiptoss and armdrag. Eddie lands on his feet out of a tilt-a-whirl and punts DDP right to the stones with the BLATANTLOWBLOW but no one cares it seems. In fact, DDP no sells so they can work a headlock TO. Dusty feels like Brain is ignoring him so he puts him on blast a couple of times as he rambles on about tradition. Dusty: “Speaking of tradition, Dallas is on top of this match.” Master of the seamless transitions, Dusty Rhodes. Eddie stays on the headlock. DDP counters to a front facelock and he pauses like this is hot shit and then goes for a double arm DDT but just kind of rolls under rather than whipping into the mat. He then rolls into a cover for 2. What the hell was that? Eddie counters out with a snapmare and a dropkick that hangs DDP up in the ropes. Dusty: “HE’S ALMOST HULLY GULLY!” Eddie boots him to the floor to a pop. DDP avoids a baseball slide and a plancha but Eddie lands on his feet and chops him down. That was cool. Eddie now sends him into the guardrail. Tony: “THERE’S POPCORN EVERYWHERE! HERE AT SLIM JIM’S HALLOWEEN HAVOC!” Back in, Eddie with the slingshot senton for 2. Tony talks about how slow Nick’s count is as Eddie with the LEATHERY chops on DDP that throw some sweat right into your living room on the video camera lens. DDP cuts Eddie off with an atomic drop on the ropes. DDP sends him into the stairs and then poses to big heat. Where did the notion that DDP sucks come from? I just don’t see it. I know like Macho, he wanted everything planned out but DDP’s a solid even very good worker at times. DDP brings Eddie into the guardrail (“C’MON GIRLFRIEND!”).

• Back in, DDP covers with the feet on the ropes and Nick counts 2 even though Eddie doesn’t kick out and he doesn’t see the ropes. Nick now claims did see the feet on the ropes. DDP with a flapjack to another big reaction. DDP now with a Bret Hart low blow elbow as Tony and Dusty trade barbs over whether the flapjack was indeed a “nosedive.” Tony: “How about that? That was a nosedive…. a NOSEdive. From way up top.” Dusty: “OK, Ton, that was a real good call. That was a nosedive, Brain.” Tony: “Thank you. That’s 3 times in 30 seconds.” Dusty: “Was that a nosedive too?” Tony: “Make it 4.” Brain: “A NOSEDIVE!” Tony: “I’m going to quit counting.” DDP with a beast gutbuster as Tony says he really wants that “elusive” Battlebowl ring. Well, it can’t have been that elusive if he stole it in the first place, but then again, he did promptly lose it back. DDP covers for 2. Tony has clearly lost control of the crew as Dusty refuses to put over the Battlebowl ring and instead says this is a match for the Guerrero family tradition which makes no sense. Brain says he wants to welcome the Guerreros to SLIM JIM’S HALLOWEEN HAVOC as well and hopes they bought a color TV so they can watch it like everyone else. DDP tries an ab stretch and wants the work the ropes but Nick sees it. Eddie with a hiptoss out but DDP comes back with a jawbreaker and an AWESOME tilt-a-whirl slam for 1, 2, 2.7! If they would focus, they’d realize this is a pretty good match. DDP now argues with Nick Patrick. They get into a shoving match where Nick WINS. Eddie with the roll up for the 1, 2, 2.9! Nick now chastises him down into the corner. DDP now offers a shake to Nick Patrick to mend the fences. That’s something I’m not sure I’ve ever seen. An angry heel who just shakes hands with the ref mid-match. I’m sure they’ll be a play on that later. Eddie with a poke to the eyes that Nick doesn’t see but DDP shitcans Eddie to the floor. Eddie sells the leg on impact. Back in, Eddie with a school boy for 2. Eddie now with a sunset flip for 2 as they go through a reversal roll up sequence. DDP ducks a shot and takes down Eddie with a LARIATO! This Vegas crowd is feeling DDP’s power stuff. Eddie comes back with a dropkick and now DDP goes for a dropkick or something and wipes out but takes the bump like a kamikaze pilot at 100 mph. Eddie comes back with Euro uppercut and another. DDP takes a breather but Eddie follows out with a crossbody off the top. Eddie looks out of it and unmotivated which is disappointing given how much gusto DDP is showing. DDP with a hotshot and a facefirst piledriver for 1, 2, 2 ½. DDP is now back to arguing with Nick over the count. DDP with the SPINNING LIGERBOMB! COVER GETS 1, 2, 2.9! Some jabroni yells at DDP so DDP taunts back: “YOUR MOTHER’S NOTHING!” DDP hits the Diamond Cutter but it looks ugly because Eddie doesn’t jump, still that’s enough to win the ring to become Lord of the Ring at 13:43. Post-match, Nick digs around in his pocket and comes up with the Battlebowl ring but then tries some pathetic sleight of hand to claim it was in DDP’s corner the whole match. Whatthefuckever.

• There’s just a lot going on here and hard to keep all of it straight – both guys resort to heel tactics and DDP though clearly the heel is more over with the crowd, Nick Patrick has a bad neck and though he leans heel is face here and his bad neck contributes nothing to the match, Tony says the match is all about the Battlebowl ring and then constantly brings up how no one has seen it and Dusty ignores that to talk about tradition a whole bunch and then screw up move names. Despite almost nobody being on the same page, I liked this mostly because it was clear DDP was working hard to get over and it showed. I read somewhere that Eddie broke some ribs during this match so take that for what it’s worth. ***

• Meanwhile, we get clips of a Macho promo and now Tenay is with Deano Machino. He cuts the generic, “I’m going to be a fighting champion and I’ll give anyone a shot that wants it” promo. Tenay now takes us out to an “official n.W.o interview.”

• We cut up high in the upperdeck to MDM Ted Dibiase on the stick to interview Giant. You’d think the n.W.o could afford better seats. Dibiase says Jarrett isn’t very smart to want to fight with the US Champ Giant. Giant says he’s going to stick Jarrett various places and then ChokeSlam him and metaphorically kill the Horsemen. EVERYONE GOES TO THE GLUE FACTORY!(?)

• The Giant vs. Jeff Jarrett. US title isn’t on the line because Giant isn’t really champ. This would be the second time in a year that he had an angle based around stealing a belt, this time from Flair. Nick Patrick holds up the belt anyway and Tony almost runs down to the ring to accost Patrick for his screw up. Now, Flair gets his own entrance and he had to sub out because he has a “bad shoulder.” They go face to chest first. Jeff with a right hand and struts. Jarrett ducks some more stuff and struts some more. Flair for some reason is backed halfway up the ramp. Another right from Jarrett and now Flair is strutting down the aisle. Jeff tries a side headlock and Giant of course throws him across the ring. Jeff with some shoulder surges in the corner and Giant no sells and hairtosses him across the ring… again. Dusty and Brain repeat each other a few times without each other being aware of it. Tony: “That’s a good thing about your guys working together – it’s in stereo.” Brain: “One in English and one in Cowpasture.” Jarrett goes to the sleeper. Giant pushes him back into the corner and Jarrett no sells and reapplies. They redo the spot and Jarrett sells this time. Jarrett avoids a charge in the corner and goes to the rights. Jarrett gives him a throat thrust but Giant no sells and gives him a big boot. Giant covers for 2. Giant with a BLATANTLOWBLOW as Nick was busy talking trash to Flair. Giant with a backbreaker and works it as a submission. Flair steals the stick: “JARRETT GET UP AND KICK HIS NWO ASS!” Giant with another couple backbreakers for 2. Giant throws him around and goes to the hearhug as Tony talks up how this is a set up for the ChokeSlam. Jarrett bites his way free and hits some dropkicks but Giant won’t go down. He tries a slam but his back buckles and Giant covers for 2. Jarrett comes back with a couple burritos and a SLAPNUTS HAMMER! Crossbody gets 1, 2, 2.7. Giant avoids the Figure Four and kicks Jarrett to the floor. Giant tries a Stinger Splash on the floor but eats ringpost. Jarrett applies the F4 on the floor but Giant breaks it up with the goozle. Flair with the BLATANTLOWBLOW from behind and that’s enough for a DQ at 9:56. Typical David-Goliath stuff but, ya know, more boring. I will just say that Flair as always shows that he’s massively entertaining even from the sidelines doing nothing. *1/2

Post-match, The Horsemen come out to provide backup for Flair and Jarrett.

• Now, we take it back to Dibiase who says that Jericho is next and Syxx hops on the stick. Both say how good of an athlete Jericho is but Syxx will “crucify Jericho for WCW’s sins.”

• Syxx vs. Chris Jericho. Jericho is the ultra-green face who’s happy to be here and wants all the cheers he can get. Jericho avoids some kung fu and takes down Syxx with a German suplex for 2. Syxx kips up and grabs a headlock. They switch through some hammerlocks and Syxx with a shoulderblock. They both go for leap frogs and avoid spinwheel kicks in a sweet sequence. They get into a shoving match which Jericho wins as we see the Taskmaster, Konnan, and Bossman watching from the crowd. Jericho now with a shoulderblock and a monkey flip and a pair of armdrags. This is some crisp stuff. Jericho with a running clothesline and tries a pop up something but Syxx dropkicks him to the floor. Syxx follows up with a flip splash and throws Jericho into the guardrail. Syxx stomps him around and Nick Patrick, neck brace and all, wants the stop the match. The ref is injured worse than the wrestler and yet he thinks he can’t continue. That’ll help Jericho get over. Syxx with his kick combo and despite clearly being booked as a loser and having the ref fear for his safety, Jericho won’t quit yet. Syxx goes to the chinlock. Jericho escapes out but eats that double roundhouse that used to be a real bitch to block on SvR and sure enough Jericho can’t block it either. Syxx puts him on the apron and hits the BUZZSAW HAMMER OFF THE TOP! Syxx tries a dropkick in the corner but Jericho moves and Syxx eats BRUTAL bump into the turnbuckle. Jericho comes back with some right hands and a backdrop. Jericho with a roundhouse that sends Syxx reeling. Jericho with his springboard plancha to the floor. Jericho sends Syxx now into the guardrail. Back in, Jericho with the back elbow off the top for 2. Jericho gets hotshotted into the turnbuckle. Syxx tries a crossbody but Jericho counters to a midair dropkick for 1, 2, 2 ½. Jericho with a flapjack and the LIONSAULT! Jericho rolls him up for a very… slow…. 1 as the crowd turns on Nick Patrick for his favoritism. Dusty: “Somebody oughta call the law on Nick Patrick.” They both duck some clotheslines and Jericho with a springboard crossbody for another slow count but it’s not hilariously slow enough to be completely transparent. Nick is effective as the almost evil ref, but right now, he’s just sort of incompetent. Jericho argues with the ref and turns around into Syxx with the roundhouse to win it at 9:50. Really solid for what it was. Both guys were bumping like hell and throwing caution to the wind with some of their high impact stuff, and yet there was nothing spot-crazy here. Also, Jericho got to look strong against Syxx though I would have liked a more emphatic ending than a roundhouse. ***

• Meanwhile, Tenay is in the back with a frizzy, bedheaded Lex Luger. Seriously, Luger looks like he got a perm or was napping and then just blowdryed his hair for 40 minutes straight to get ready for this. Luger is beefing with Arn over whose fault the lose at War Games was. Luger then promos using gardening as an allegory for his relationship with Arn. No, really. I’ll let the Total Package speak for himself: “You planted the seeds, Arn. Now the crop has harvested and it’s NOT a garden of flowers – it’s CACTUS, THICKETS OF THINGS YOU’LL NEVER WANT TO SEE FROM LEX LUGER!” This goes on for another 30 seconds or so. So-so promo from the typically marbled mouth Luger.

• Arn Anderson vs. Lex Luger. Arn’s evil Horsemen music is pretty awesome with it’s alternate universe EVIL MELODY! Brain cracks about Luger’s hair and says he looks like Phyllis Diller. Then, master of transitions, Dusty tries to take it back to the match: “Bottom line, this match up here, also, smells of bad intentions, I’m talking about a REAL… bad… blood flow going on right here. I guarontee ya.” No one knows where Sting is because he was offered a deal to join the n.W.o but didn’t say one way or another on Nitro and then “disappeared.” Tony says Luger is favoring his ribs and lower back due to an attack from Arn though he is not bandaged. That’s going to be bad psychology one way or another. Luger’s either going to be selling the ribs and end up getting the victory or forgetting the ribs and getting the victory. Since he’s not bandaged up, I’m going with option 2.

• Arn clubs him down to start and rakes the eye and gives him one to the breadbasket. Arn with some shoulder surges and sends Luger across a couple of times. Luger lazily no sells and then flexes. Luger with a press slam and clotheslines Arn over the top. Lex with a NARCISSIST HAMMER off the apron and then drives Arn into the ringpost ribs first. Back in, Luger with a powerslam as the DOD cheers on Luger. Luger now with some elbows to the back and a backbreaker for 2 as Dusty is getting a bit testy because Tony keeps repeating him and covering the same points. Arn gets the elbow up in the corner but Luger crotches him on the top turnbuckle and works the back some more. Arn comes back with the SPINEBUSTER! FUCK YEAH! Arn now dumps Luger out and drives him into the apron and the guardrail. Dusty tries to explain the origin of one of his phrases (“Bulla Bulla”, “Buddy Holly said that to his girlfriend one time!”) that no one seems interested in as Arn gives some knees to the back to mild boos. Crowd is NOT into this. Arn with more knees to the back. Tony: “SLIM JIM’S HALLOWEEN HAVOC!” Arn now with the rope-assisted ab stretch and the crowd still doesn’t care about the cheating. Arn with some more whatever that Luger no sells so they can set up a missed DDT spot. Luger gets the boot up in the corner but Arn shoves him from behind and they bump the ref. Arn gets a chair but whiffs on a chairshot. Luger catapults him into the ringpost but they don’t really have enough room so Arn has to jump into the ringpost basically. Yeah, not good. Luger with a nice suplex on the floor as Mark Curtis is still selling a shove. Luger now waffles Arn with the chair a few times. Back in, the ref has recovered just in time to see Luger rack Arn and Arn gives up at 12:20. I just couldn’t get into it. Not a lot of chemistry between these 2 guys as Arn can be a methodical storyteller and Luger isn’t the most active seller in the world. Just not much to see. **

• Post-match Luger keeps the hold on FOREVER and Arn sells it like death as does Brain on commentary. Flair and Jarrett come out and Arn does a stretcher job. This would be one of Arn’s last hurrahs before drifting into semi-retirement and giving his spot to Curt Hennig.

• Lee Marshall is in the back with Harlem Heat in a promo that’s over before I can even remember any of what they said, SUCKA!

• The Faces of Fear vs. Mongo McMichael & Chris Benoit. Meng and Mongo to start. Mongo dodges a kick to start. Shoulderblock goes nowhere. Meng no sells a clothesline and almost starts a fight with the ref. Mongo plows over him with a shoulderblock. Barbarian and Benoit now tag in. Barbarian with some CLUBBINGBLOWS and chops in the corner. Benoit slides behind and hits a bridging Northern Lights suplex for 2. Benoit tries a headbutt but Barbarian no sells and tries a Boston Crab. Benoit avoids and boots him down in the corner. Mongo and Meng back in. Meng challenges him to a Sumo standoff and Mongo obliges. Meng kicks his ass at that and hiptosses him across the ring. Mongo comes back with a couple chop blocks and another on Barbarian. That was actually a cool sequence of power bruisers. Meng boots him down from behind to end that flurry. The FOF give him a double headbutt. Meng with some more whatever as Mongo hits him with a DROPKICK(!). Unfortunately, he tries another but is too slow so Meng just waits for his millisecond hangtime to end. Meng tries a senton but Mongo avoids and tags in Benoit. Benoit with some chops but runs into the BEAAAAAAAAAAAAAST BACKDROP WILDBOMB COMBO! Barbarian covers for 1, 2,–Mongo breaks it up at 2. Meng with some choking as Barbarian tags in. Benoit heads up top but Meng crotches him. Barbarian just LAUNCHES him across the ring with a RELEASE OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY SUPERPLEX! Cover gets only 2. The FOF hit a double top rope headbutt and cover but Mongo again breaks it up. The FOF now with a hanging vertical suplex/splash off the top combo. Mongo decides he’s had enough of this crap and BLASTS Meng unprotected with his STEEL briefcase! Benoit now heads up top and hits a diving headbutt to win it at 9:22. Easily, the best FOF match I’ve ever seen or the best they’ve ever looked in a match. The only thing I would have changed about the match is having Benoit tag out and let Mongo come in to get the win, instead of Benoit seemingly no selling a bunch of stuff to hit a finisher. Otherwise, I loved this. ***1/4

• Post-match, Barbarian steals the briefcase and waffles Mongo with it. The Dungeon jumps the rail and they beat down the Horsemen because Flair and Jarrett rode with Arn to the hospital. Awesome beatdown by the FOF and the DOD.

• We cut back to Dibiase hyping up The Outsiders’ chance of winning tag gold.

• WCW World Tag Team Championship: The Outsiders vs. Harlem Heat (c). HH have Colonel Parker and Sherri with them. The Outsiders stall for a bit and steal the belts to pose with them. “Diesel” and “Razor” chants follow. Booker eats toothpick to start and Razor taunts. Booker with an armdrag and now we get more stalling from Hall as he postures around taking his time. Book talks over strategy with Stevie. Razor with some shoulder charges but Book comes back with a hook kick. C’MONSUCKA! Hall with a shoulderblock and avoids a leapfrog with a discus right hand. They redo the shoulderblock spot and this time Hall gets hiptossed to the floor after some less than thrilling criss-cross action. Stevie clotheslines Razor on the floor behind the ref’s back. Razor spits on Stevie to a pop as Nash tags in to big “Diesel” chants. Nash with hip checks in the corner. Stevie comes back with a clothesline and now he spits on Hall. Stevie pounds down Nash his future stablemate. HH with some slow crap so Book can hit the ax kick for 2. Nash comes back with a sideslam and tags in Hall. Hall gives Stevie a bulldog off the second rope for 2. Stevie no sells and comes back with a clothesline. Book goes to a chinlock. Hall recovers and Nash waffles Book from behind and that allows a Hall clothesline for 2. Crowd was into that false finish and boos the nearfall. Nash with a big boot. Nash with a Snake Eyes and that allows Hall to hit a clothesline behind the ref’s back to a pop. Hall blocks a hiptoss and hits a BOOK END ON BOOK! Cover gets only 2. Booker goes for a crossbody but Hall CATCHES HIM in the snap ab suplex. Nice. Hall flips off Sherri and gets smacked for his trouble. Hall now grabs her by the hair as the crowd is cheering the attempted domestic abuse. Instead, he kisses her still to a pop but Book gives him a spinwheel kick to cut him off. Crowd chants for Razor as he goes to a sleeper. Book sends him off and counters to his own to boos. Hall counters to a crotch on the top rope and covers for 2. Hall and Book collide for the double KO spot. Stevie Ray in with some clotheslines and he TROLLYELLS to boos. Stevie press slams Hall onto Nash and then Book disposes of Nash to the floor. Book hits the Harlem Hangover. The ref is distracted as Nash goozles Colonel Parker and steals his cane. Nash waffles Book a few times. Hall drapes the arm to win it at 13:05. Another boring pile of whatever. This is only interesting for the crowd being SUPER into The Outsiders and for the Diesel/Razor chants because Tony and crew are selling the n.W.o as major heels that endanger the future of the company, thugs, punks, etc. Yet here they are basically booked as faces acting like faces other than the cheating behind the ref’s back. **1/4

• We take it up to the balcony where Hogan has commandeered Dibiase’s mic. Hogan plugs his busy movie schedule of 3 Ninjas’ sequels. Hogan’s haircut is… well… he’s Sting? It’s a blonde crewcut wig left over from his “acting” career but holy hell does it look dreadful. I can’t believe it. I’ve watched wrestling a long time and seen a lot of clips but I’ve never seen this do on Hogan before. Who the hell told him it was a good idea to come out with THAT look? He puts over taking time out of his schedule to come down here and beat up that old man, Macho. They start playing Macho’s music during Hogan’s ring intro and I’m sure for that Macho will do a stretcher job and get ChokeSlammed on the concrete by Giant to make sure that doesn’t happen again and Macho doesn’t step out of line.

• WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Macho Man Randy Savage vs. Hollywood Hogan (c). I just can’t get over Hogan’s hair. Take a look.

• Macho on the other hand looks gangster in this black and orange themed gear for Halloween. Macho’s monster truck gets its own entrance and I HAVE to have it. If I ever win the lottery, I’ll be the guy going broke buying kitsch like Macho’s monster truck. Macho gets the stick as the ref and Dibiase argue over whether or not Giant can stay at ringside. Randy Anderson FINALLY ejects Giant and Dibiase as Hogan relents only when Anderson threatens to declare Macho the winner and award him the belt. Hogan bails out and threatens to take a walk. Hogan steals Flair’s shtick of talking trash with the front row and then stalling for a while. Crowd is behind Macho clearly. Hogan is apparently going to go it with his sunglasses on. Hogan grabs a headlock and plows over Macho with a shoulderblock. Savage wants to try it again but Hogan take the low road and stalls some more. Now the crew is talking about Hogan like he’s Judas for turning on all the fans that used to cry when he’d had heat put on him. Hogan avoids the test of strength with some BLATANTCHEATING. Man, Macho looks like a jobber so far so things must be going according to plan. Hogan with a clothesline and more trashtalking. Hogan does this really weird strut that’s not like anyone else except maybe Bret Hart or Alberto Del Rio except more pronounced and dickish. More beating on Savage before he comes back with a SLIM JIM HAMMER OFF THE TOP! He steals Hogan’s glasses to a pop. Hogan comically oversells being afraid of Savage and begs off like this is a 3 Ninjas sequel or something. Macho boots him and pulls Hogan around by the toupee. Macho finally pulls Hogan’s rug off and puts it on. That’s a decent payoff for some of Hogan’s douchebaggery but I don’t suspect he’s done being a douchebag yet so it might all be for naught. Hogan takes a breather and Savage chases him down the aisle and now chokes him with the toupee. Macho sends him into the guardrail several times and then waffles him with a chair. Ref Randy Anderson pulls the chair away and of course Hogan steals it and waffles Macho back. Hogan with another chairshot and Brain wants the match stopped. Hogan gives Macho an atomic drop on the guardrail and kisses him for good luck. BUT WAIT! MISS ELIZABETH HAS APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE! AND SHE’S NOT WEARING BLACK! That’s Tony’s way of saying she’s probably with Macho rather than Hogan yet she doesn’t help him as Hogan chokes away.

• Hogan yells at Miss Elizabeth as Macho school boys him from behind for the 1, 2, 2 ½. Crowd is popping big for Macho. Hogan does the moon spot as he’s decided to ape Flair and Zbyszko’s entire routines in one match and still manage to suck. Hogan with a right hand and COMPLETELY ignores Macho to turn around and yell at Liz some more. This sucks. Macho clotheslines Hogan to the floor and Hogan begs off. Hogan hides behind Liz to big heel heat. Hogan is now too lazy to even cut Macho off at the pass and instead needs a running start for it. Macho no sells and gives him a running knee. Brain has an aneurysm selling this as THE END OF HULKA….errr…HOLLYWOOD-MANIA! Hogan repeats the hide behind Liz spot. Brain says the only reason Liz is out here is because she’s n.W.o, brotha! Hogan witih the big boot and goes for the Atomic Leg Drop of Doom. Liz pleads with him for mercy even though Savage hasn’t taken anything in the last 10 minutes other than a couple chairshots and a SHOULDERBLOCK. Hogan’s all “I won at Wrestlemania V and am winning tonight. Forget this bum” but Liz still don’t cooperate. Hogan goes for the leg drop but whiffs. Tony: “NEVER BEFORE HAS HE BADMOUTHED A WOMAN IN BETWEEN HIS BIG BOOT AND LEG DROP IN HIS CAREER!” Sound analysis from Tony. Savage is still laying around like he’s tanning at the beach while Dibiase slips Hogan a weapon. Hogan makes it obvious to EVERYONE by parading around the ring so Liz can steal the international object. Hogan says fuck it and takes out the ref. YES! YES! YES! END THIS MATCH! Savage now bumps Hogan. HOLY MOSES! NICK PATRICK HAS COME OUT! Savage with another bodyslam and wants the Macho Elbow AND HITS IT! HE COVERS FOR 1, 2, —-22222222! Nick Patrick’s phantom neck injury acts up on the three count. THATNOGOODBASTARD! Savage bumps Patrick. Hogan goes for the blind waffle but Savage blocks and steals the foreign object. Savage waffles Hogan to a pop. Macho goes up for another Macho elbow but Dibiase distracts. BUT WAIT! THE GIANT HAS COME BACK OUT! Giant decides Macho has to pay for upstaging his shitty monster truck gimmick last year and gives Savage a ChokeSlam on the floor. Giant drapes Hogan’s arm as Nick Patrick recovers to count the 1, 2, 3 at 18:35.

• Yet another 20 minute sacrilegious no show. Not even bombs over Baghdad have caused this much strife and suffering to people in the desert. This was trying to be Hogan-Macho at Wrestlemania V and Warrior-Macho at Wrestlemania VII and it wound up being neither. This would not be the first or last time Hogan tried to rip off one of his WM’s classics and came up empty big time. *

• Post-match, Macho is carried out by trainers. Hogan is “out cold” so Giant dumps some water on him to help him regain his bearings. Hogan “sells” being passed out all of 3 seconds before deciding to cut a promo. BUT WAIT! WHAT IS THIS MUSIC!? WHAT IS THIS!? It’s Hot Rod, Rowdy Roddy Piper! Hogan begs off and hides behind Giant. They exchange pleasantries as Hogan tries to suck up and say he didn’t mean he ruled wrestling. He meant he kind of was on a committee that governed wrestling that included Piper and—SHUT UP! Piper says he’s here for a Reality Check and HE’S THE ICON! There’s a cool section on Piper’s DVD where he talks about how the next few weeks on Nitro guys like Hogan, Flair, and Macho were all basically fighting over that Icon tag and getting gear with “icon” written on it or just little additions to their attire. So if you’re wondering where all this “icon” talk comes from in pro wrestling, this is a good starting place. Anyway, this goes on for a while as they retread movie careers, WM I, The War to Settle the Score, etc etc etc. Seriously, the PPV ends as they KEEP TALKING! THE PPV IS OVER! Piper might still be talking in the MGM Grand somewhere holding PPV companies across the country hostage.

The 411: Four average to good matches and a "spectacle" main event that must be seen even if it sucks. Marginal recommendation.
Final Score:  6.0   [ Average ]