411’s WWF Raw Report 2.11.02

411’s WWF Raw Report 2.11.02

Live Arkansas St.

Announcers are King and JR

Report done *EXCLUSIVLY* for 411 by PK

why the hell would anyone put hockey figures on a wrestling web site?!? what the shit? who gives a fuck about hockey or the nfl when they are investing there time trying to get the updates on wrestling news. instead i have to ween through mindless dribble about the fucking chicago bears and if bledsoe might play for them next year. bledsoe and the bears both suck and if the two are together next season, say hello to last place again! and about your wrestling news, it just proves what kind of man you are when your are cheering on goldust in your updates of raw. nothing like getting in the ring with another man and holding each other for purposes other than wrestling. thank god for the internet (“the house of lies”) that a confused young man like yourself can thrive in a website that lets you indulge in hockey dolls and golden flaming men. you probably like those hairy crack pokers chuck and billy… two men that make money for slapping each others asses and giggling! you also probably have every wrestling figure ever made and have them hanging around your bedroom, bathroom and a blow up kurt angle doll to snuggle with at night. what the hell, do you work for the toy department at walmart or k-mart and buy all the rare figures before any kids can get to them? update me with your tenacious feelings in your defense. hope to here from you soon!

CHARACTOR LIE

I have absolutely no problem with what was said there!

Before I go further, Widro, Grut, and myself went to the New York City Toy Fair yesterday, you can check out all the upcoming WWF figures being released by Jakks-Pacific over at 411 Figures.

We also, attended Heat at WWF NY last night, and upon review of the tape, there was a clear shot of myself looking into the camera! That was my 3 seconds of fame….Widro was standing next to me, but was looking away…fool….Grut, well he was drinking…big surprise. By the way, you can read Carlos’s Heat report right here.

RAW!….or wait, THE WESTMINSTER DOG SHOW!!!!

Intro….Torrie vs. Stacy in a Bikini Match.

The Undertaker comes out to a huge reaction, he liked it and said he knew he would get a big ovation for finally shutting up The Rock. Crowd then boos him, then chants Rocky. He then showed the clip of Rock costing Taker the Hardcore Title. He then says that when someone disrespects Taker like that, they get this. He then has them show the Tombstone on the limo. Taker says it doesn’t end there, he is just getting started. Ric Flair has decided to come out and confront Taker. Flair says that Taker is the most respected person in the ring and in the dressing room. But last Thursday night, all respect was lost. Flair says that Rock as a brain injury, and a concussion. Taker says that when the real owner gives him the word, he is going to bust Flair’s ass. Flair comes back with bad news for Taker. Rock will be at No Way Out, and will be ready for Taker, and Taker will be in the ring against Stone Cold tonight!

NWO stuff.

Commercials.

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

This will be non-title, and Edge’s ribs are taped up due to William Regal’s actions last week on Smackdown. Edge attacks Jericho right away. Jericho fights back with chops, but Edge nails a spin heel kick for 2. Edge off the ropes, Jericho comes out with a back elbow to take control. Jericho starts focusing on Edge’s ribs. Jericho with a bulldog, but misses the Lionsault, Edge goes for spear, but Jericho moves and Edge goes into the ring post. Jericho goes for a Walls of Jericho, but Edge rolls through for 2. Jericho hangs Edge on the ropes, and goes to get one of his belts. Edge gets up and spears Jericho for 2. Ref is distracted, Jericho slaps Edge in the ribs with the title belt, hits the Breakdown, Y2J wins.

Winner – Jericho

Vince McMahon arrives. Cole asks why he is there. He says that he wants to see the last Raw before the NWO arrives. Cole asks if he will walk Stephanie down the aisle, McMahon says perhaps.

Commercials.

NWO stuff.

WWF Rewind – Angle hitting the Olympic Slam on HHH on the chair, then pushing HHH on Stephanie.

HHH all decked up in a tux, but he wants a piece of Angle. Stephanie (and her big tatas) comes in to calm him down. He promises her not to go after Angle. He won’t break it, but he has to take care of something.

Goldust vs. Rikishi

Goldust starts quickly, but Rikishi hits a big Samoan Drop. Rikishi pulls Goldust into the corner, but when he goes for the Banzai Drop, Goldust puts his knees up. Goldust has Rikishi set up for a Shattered Dreams, but RVD comes out and drop kicks Goldust. They go back and forth, but RVD sends Goldust into a superkick from Rikishi, followed by another one from RVD. Goldust bails.

Winner via DQ – Goldust

Commercials.

Stacker 2 Burn of the Week – A doctor confirming that HHH & Steph are having a baby.

Arn Anderson gives HHH a package that arrived in Flair’s office.

Coach with Austin. He got scared, because they are in a dry county. He got a bunch of alcohol to drink. He then likes that he is there, because he gets to beat Taker’s ass. Sunday he gets Jericho…this What thing is getting ridicules.

Commercials.

Wedding singers getting ready.

The Godfather (w/ Escorts) vs. Kurt Angle

Angle runs out and attacks GF. Match was over in about 90 seconds. Angle makes GF tap out.

Winner – Angle

Angle gets on the mic. He’s fine with HHH’s special night. Although he thinks that Stephanie can do much better, he is there to take his own vows…on how badly he’s going to kick HHH’s ass at No Way Out.

NWO stuff.

Commercials.

HHH comes in while Steph is getting ready, he gives her a diamond ring.

Undertaker vs. Steve Austin

Jericho attacks Austin from behind while he walks down to the ring. Taker goes down, and throws him into the ring to start the match. Taker controls the start of the match. Anyone know how many times we have seen this match? Out of nowhere, Austin nails the Stunner. Jericho comes back out and attacks Jericho. Austin hits Jericho with a spinebuster, but Taker takes Austin out. Jericho waits until Austin gets up, then decks him with the title belt. Jericho throws Stone Cold’s cooler in the ring, and cracks open a cold one. Y2J nails Austin with a beer can, then decks in the head with the loaded cooler. Jericho toasts over Austin.

Winner via DQ – Austin

Commercials.

Jericho leaves the arena.

Booker T (w/ Test) vs. Tazz (w/ Spike Dudley)

Booker beats down Tazz to start. Tazz fights back, nails a series of suplexes. Booker comes off the ropes, hits an axe kick, and then gets the Spinarooni! Booker goes for a Book End, but Tazz spins around and locks on the Tazzmission. Test threatens to come in, Spike gets on the apron, Ref gets distracted, Test comes in and nails the bit boot, and Booker makes the cover for the win. Test then beats up Spike.

Winner – Booker T

Dudley Boyz are at WWF NY (like I was last night!). They want a rematch for the Tag Titles at No Way Out. It was No Way Out 2 years ago when the Dudz won the straps for the first time…they beat the New Age Outlaws.

Commercials.

Stacy vs. Torrie – Bikini Match

Nothing to say here, besides the fact that my fiancйe has just left the room…damnit.

Stacy dodges a charge in the corner from Torrie, Stacy rolls her up.

Winner – Stacy

Stephanie is upset that Vince won’t walk her down. HHH assures her that it is not about him, it’s about them.

Commercials.

Mr. Perfect playing chess with Eddie (I know him). Perfect throws Eddie’s attention off, switches some pieces, and wins with a checkmate…HAHAHAHAHA. He is Perfect!

Rob Van Dam vs. Christian

Christian comes out and attacks RVD. Back and forth action, Christian hits the reverse DDT, but only gets 2. He throws a fit, and RVD nails a 5*.

Winner – RVD

Goldust appears on the Tron. He tells RVD to get ready for the big screen, because he is challenging RVD for No Way Out.

HHH taking a sip of champagne. AA comes in, tells him that Linda has been calling.

Commercials.

HHH talking to Linda on the phone. Linda sent the package, in it is a tape, and the voice is the doctor from last week shilling a resort, and was obviously a phony. Linda tells HHH that Steph is not pregnant.

Stephanie talking to the wedding singers, Vince shows up, and says he won’t forget about what she did, but will forgive, and he will walk her down the aisle. Fink runs in and wants to tell Vince important news, but Vince kicks him out.

Commercials.

The Game comes out first with a smirk up his sleeve, this should be interesting. “Here Comes The Bride” plays. Stephanie & Vince walk down. They start a ceremony. The crowd is doing “WHAT?” after each pause by the priest. The Wedding Singers then sing. They have written their own vows. Stephanie says a bunch of mushy stuff. HHH then says that he is overwhelmed, and wants to tell her how he feels about her the first time he saw her and how he feels about her right now. They have been together for over 2 years, and have had their ups and downs. Last week he was the happiest ever when he found out about the child. Today after hearing what was just said, he sees her a totally different way, not just a loving wife, and the father of her child, and for what she truly is. A lying BITCH! She wanted this so badly that she used his emotions against him, and showed him a fake picture of their unborn child. He then tells her that he disgusts her. As of now, the marriage is over! HHH knocks out Vince, and tears apart the stage. Vince gets back up, and HHH hits him with a Pedigree. HHH then pushes Stephanie over, and throws down his wedding band.

Show over, go over to 411 Figures and find out new stuff on WWF action figures!

Non-wrestling Fun Fact – Some people will use any excuse to be perverts. Witness the fishermen of the East African coast who have regular coitus with the carcasses of the female dugong, an 8 foot long aquatic mammal. Coitus with the carcass is thought to be necessary to “lay the ghost” of the creature: otherwise it might pursue the hunter.

~PK