411 Video Review: Halloween Havoc 1993

Weird opening video to start featuring kids and a werewolf impersonating Tony Schiavone. Someone call wrestlecrap.

Live from New Orleans. Your hosts are Tony Schiavone (dressed as Jessie), Jessie Ventura (as a gynaecologist)

Eazy E is dressed as a General Custer- if General Custer was a huge fag.

Harlem Heat and the Equalizer v. Shockmaster, Ice Train and Charlie Norris

I thought the point of the opening match was to get the crowd fired up. Who would have ever thought one person in this match would be a five time WCW Champion and main event Summerslam. Harlem Heat were known as Kane and Kole- still had same music. Charlie Norris is the WCW equivalent to Tatanka. Ice Train and Kole (Booker) start. Randy Anderson is the ref- RIP Randy. Lockup- Ice gets headlock and knocks him down. Kole uses the knee but can’t slam him and gets slammed himself. Clotheslines by Ice. Tag Kane (Stevie Ray). Kane takes control but Ice blocks turnbuckle shot and gets rammed into it. Tag Charlie Norris. Tag Kole. Charlie takes control. Tag Shockmaster who works him over. Soon though Ice Train plays face-in-peril as the heels work him over. Train comes back and tags Charlie “Tatanka” Norris. Steamboat v. Kwan has been changed to Orndorff v. Steamer. Norris tags Shockmaster who slams Equaliser. Fans chant- Whoop there it is. Charlie Norris comes in and chops Equal for two. Norris eats foot on blind charge and becomes f-I-p. Kole misses from the top- hot tag Shockmaster. Tony: Don’t call him Uncle Fred. Shock bearhug slams Kole for the win. DUD Shock and Equal brawl post-match foreshadowing the worst match EVER

Equalizer went on to become Evad Sullivan the dyslexic Hulkamaniac, Ice Train was actually in WCW at the end as M.I. Smooth, Kole you know, Kane you know, Norris no one knows and Shock works indies

Gay General Custer is with the second referee for the Flair-Rude match- Terry Taylor.

“Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff (w/The Assassin) v. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat

Crowd chants Paula. Orndorff attacks to start and kicks his ass. Steamer comes back with chops but Orndorff remains in control. Steamboat rolls him up for two. Orndorff clotheslines him- Steamboat bails. Brawl on the outside- Orndorff slams him on ramp. And works him over. Steamboat flies back in but Orndorff moves and continues to kick his ass. Cradle gets some new counts. Steamboat hooks the arm and starts working on it. Crossbody-2. Back to the arm. Steamer rams it into post twice. Brawl on the outside- Orndorff’s shoulder goes into rail and Steamer keeps working on the arm. Orndorff comes back but misses an elbow and Steamer clotheslines him twice and works on the arm and continues to kick ass. Steamer turns away and Orndorff comes back and rams his head into mat and kicks his ass. He throws him into the crowd and works him over. Elbow-two. They both collide and a double-KO results. Orndorff tries the Flair pin but Nick Patric stops him. Steamer gets pinfall for two. Steamer throws him on the ramp and hits a top-rope chop. Atomic drop on ramp and Orndorff flies into ring. Top-rope chop-two. Double chop-two. Chops but Orndorff comes back. Steamer blocks piledriver with backdrop. Orndorff bridges up and Steamer slingshots him into post. Rollup-two. Belly to back suplex and flying bodypress but Assassin distracts ref so its only two. Steamer argues with ref and drives a shoulder into Orndorff for two. Another near-fall for Dragon. Steamer chops away and shoves the ref. Orndorff throws him over top and the Assassin headbutts him. Orndorff wins by countout. Match ran waaaaaaaaaaaay too long. Why couldn’t Steamboat go over? **

The announcers talk about how the Gold Belt is like a world title or something. No one cares.

Lord Steven Regal (w/Sir William) v. “The British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith

YES! YES! YES! My all time favourite v. My favourite current WWF wrestler. Damn- DBS is way over. Regal’s music is awesome. Buffer does the intros. I am pumped. Lockup- Regal is aghast at the grease and grime all over Bulldog’s body. Lockup- Regal works on the arm and gets a wristlock. DBS spins out and gets a wristlock. Regal rolls out and works on the arm. Regal takes him down and does some awesome mat wrestling. Regal works on the arm but Bulldog spins out and gets an armringer which Regal spins out of. Bulldog flips out of a hammerlock. Regal makes faces. Lockup- Regal does a cartwheel but gets monkeyflipped. Regal goes back to the wrist which Davey reverses so Regal snap mares him but Bulldog grabs the arm which Regal reverses into which Bulldog reverses. Lockup- Regal gets an odd chinlock. Regal goes back to armbar and then a European kravat. Botched monkeyflip by Bulldog. Five minutes elapsed. Bulldog gets a surfboard but it takes a while. Sir William distracts Bulldog and Regal kicks ass. Bulldog kicks him and gets flying bodypress for two. Regal knees him for two. Regal Roll-2. Submission hold by Regal. Regal whips him face first into buckle for two. European uppercuts and high knees by Regal. Sunset flip by Bulldog-2. Regal’s up first and attacks. He drives the knee in-2. Ten minutes elapsed. Tony yells at Gary Michael Cappetta or Sir William. Regal hooks another submission hold. Bulldog comes back but eats knee on a blind charge. Regal grabs a half nelson. Three minutes left. Bulldog powers out but Regal nails him and takes him down for two. Sort of Regal Stretch by Regal. Two minutes remaining. Tazzmission by Regal, Bulldog powers out but Regal keeps coming and kicks his ass. He gets another near fall. Bulldog gets weird pin. One minute left. Bulldog kicks his ass- Regal tries to bail but can’t. Powerslam-2. Fifteen seconds. Piledriver gets two but it’s a draw. Maybe I’m a bit biased but I love these guys. Regal rested a bit too much but there was awesome wrestling throughout. ***1/2

Gay General Custer is out to Spin the Wheel and make the Deal. Vader spins and we get a Texas Death Match. I couldn’t make out all the other choices.

Dustin Rhodes v. “Stunning” Steve Austin for the WCW US Title

Buffer the Moron does intros. Lockup- Austin nails him and bails. Austin takes him down- Dustin blocks Crab and Austin begs off. Dustin gets headlock but Austin elbows him and works him over. Dustin gets a snap mare and hammers away. Austin gets a headlock and punches him. Headlock by Austin. Dustin comes back with a drop kick. Austin gets rammed twice into turnbuckle. Austin comes back with chops but misses blind charge and goes flying out- hurting his knee in the process. Dustin works on the knee. Austin goes to the eyes and takes control. Dustin comes back and gets the backdrop for two. Austin blocks bulldog by crotching him on top rope. Austin elbows him and Dustin is in Tree of Woe. Dustin comes back with rollup for two. Ewwwwwww stone Cold’s ass. Cradle-2. Dustin blocks StunGun with punches. Stone Cold rolls him up for two. Stone Cold bails and back and Austin does the Flair Pin for three. BUT WAIT! Nick Parick says the match must continue do to Austin’s cheating. Why didn’t he count three then? Dumbass. Dustin rolls him up for three. Boring for first eleven, last three were hot. For some reason Austin and Dustin never clicked in the ring- damn shame too cause a match between these two should’ve been awesome. *1/2 Austin lays him out with belt- Dustin blades.

Tony recaps last nights WCWSN match where the tag belts changed hands.

2 Cold Scorpio and Marcus Bagwell (w/Teddy Long) v. Nasty Boys (w/Missy Hyatt) for the WCW Tag Titles

Pier-4- Faces clean house. Nastys bail. Bagwell kiseses Missy- watch out- you could get warts. Sags and Bagwell start. Nastys kick Bagwell’s ass. Bagwell outsmarts them and the faces clear the ring. Back in- Scorpio and Bagwell keep in control. Rollup by 2 Cold-2. Bagwell also gets a near fall. Thesz Press by Bagwell gets two. Scorpio comes in and battles with Sags. Bagwell soon plays face-in-peril as the Nastys work him over and get some near falls. After an ETERNITY- Bagwell gets the hot tag. BUT WAIT! The ref didn’t see it. They do the Hot Tag for real and 2 Cold cleans house and hits a splash. Missy and Teddy fight. 450 Splash- ref is busy putting Bagwell out. Boot to the head- Nastys win. Soooooooo boring. DUD

Gay Custer is with Sid and the Col.

Sid Vicious (w/ Col. Rob Parker) v. Sting

Sid kicks his ass. Sting comes back with a bodyslam and clothesline. Suplex- Sid bails. Brawl on the outside and into the crowd. Back in- Sid gets a chokeslam and works him over blocking some Sting comebacks. Sting finally comes back and starts kicking ass. Two Stinger Splashes but Sting goes after Col. Col. accidentally trips up Sid and they argue allowing Sting the rollup for the win. Started out hot but got dull quick. DUD

Vader is getting ready with Harley. Cactus looks on.

Rick Rude v. “Nature Boy” Ric Flair (w/Fifi) for the WCW International Title

“Cut the music. What I’d like to have right now is for you all you fat, out of shape, Louisiana losers stand up and pay some respect to the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the World. Hit the music.”- Rude

Terry Taylor and Randy Anderson are refs. Buffer’s intros here are actually work and get me hyped for the match. That’s a first. He gets huge fireworks. “All of that for the challenger?”- Jessie

Rude hits on Fifi so Flair kicks his ass. Woooooo! Standing vertical suplex gets one. Woooooo! Flair gets running clothesline and hammers away. Blind charge hits knees. Rude misses kneedrop and Flair hooks the figure four. Crowd goes batshit. Crowd chants Whoop there it is- AGAIN. That’s like the fifth time they’ve done that. Rude makes the ropes. Flair rams the knee into the post. Wooo! Flair works on the knee but Rude grabs the hair. Flair works on the knee while Rude grabs his hair. Rude chucks Flair out and Rude blocks a sunset flip and sits on him. He uses the ropes- Taylor stops him. Jessie is aghast. Flair gets a sunset flip for two. Flair flies at him and they tumble to the outside. Rude goes flying into a chair. Brawl on the outside. Do Jessie and Taylor have heat or something? Flair jumps off the buckle with a forearm. Flair chops him and tries the elbow again but it fails. Taylor blocks Rude from grabbing a chair. Jessie is going crazy. Rude rams him into rail and Flair does a Flair flop. Guillotine type manoeuvre by Rude and he works him over. Rude rests too much boring everyone including the cameraman. Rude swivels for Fifi and hits a top-rope chop for two. Another cover-2. More resting by Rude. Flair punches the abs, which never works and Rude kicks his ass. Flair flip takes out the cameraman. Rude nails him from top for two. Rude gets five near falls. Slugfest- Flair does the chops, Rude goes to the eyes. Clothesline by Rude-2. Again-2. Bearhug by Rude. It gets some near falls. Slugfest- Flair gets sleeper. Rude breaks. Rude goes up top but Flair moves and Flair hits the Rude Awakening for two. Backslide-2. Suplex-2.Flair goes up top but eats foot. Ref bump. Rude gets clothesline and covers- Taylor is too slow. Rude takes out Taylor. Rude gets the brass knucks but Flair reverses with a back suplex. Flair gets the knucks and nails Rude and covers for three?? Or two?? BUT WAIT!! Randy Anderson saw Flair use the knucks and DQs Flair. Huge bullshit chant. Match was good but way too much resting by Ravishing Rick. Flair busted ass to keep it together. **1/4 Rude kidnaps Fifi but Flair stops and figure fours him.

Rules for Texas Death Match-

1)No DQ

2)Falls don’t count

3) :30 rest between falls

4)Falls anyplace in building

5)Match will continue until one man can’t get to his feet before the ten count.

Vader (w/Harley Race) v. Cactus Jack in a Texas Death Match

Ah yes- I remember this. On WCWSN Vader was wrestling Cactus and then removed the padding, exposed the concrete and powerbombed Castus right onto the concrete. It was sick. It was brutal. It got both guys way over. Everyone figured assuming he wasn’t dead- Cactus would take a few months off and come back and battle it out in a hot rematch. That didn’t happen.

WCW decided to run an angle where because of the powerbomb Cactus suffered amnesia and moved to Cleveland where he hung out with homeless people and some lady kept doing news reports about it. It also involved some ugly chick playing Cactus’ wife and was just the worst thing ever. I was eight at the time and even I thought it was immensely stupid.

Cactus came back and reclaimed his bag or something from Yoshi Kwan to build the rematch. The heat for the Vader-Cactus feud wasn’t what it should’ve been all cause WCW is run by dumbasses. It sucks too cause the match could’ve drawn a huge buyrate and help WCW recover from 1993.

Match is non-title which is just too stupid for me to rant on. They pound the shit out of each other. Vader takes headgear off but punches post. Cactus drops his arm on rail and nails him with chair. Slugfest- Cactus wins. Cactus bites him and nails him with a camera. Cactus chairs him. Blind charge eats foot and Vader clotheslines him. Vader slugs away. Jack suplexes Vader on the ramp on the twice. Cactus hammers away and beats up Race. Cactus chairs Vader who falls off the ramp in. Cactus and Vader fall into the graveyard. They come back with Cactus bleeding. Vader blades as well. Cactus clotheslines him for three. Thirty second rest period. Vader up at three. Cactus nails him with a cactus. ‘Welcome to World Championship Wrestling’- Tony. Cactus elbows him off the ramp for three. Thirty second rest period. Vader up at five. Vader starts absolutely massacring Cactus. Cactus comes back and Nick Patrick sets up a table brought in by Cactus. Vader hammers away at Cactus but goes flying into the table. For two. Cactus tries to sunset flip Vader on the outside. Cactus drops Vader on the apron. He tries to fly out after him but lands on his head in the crowd. Sick. Vader just drops him over the rail. Yea- Cactus is sick. Vader chairs him. Moonsault gets three. Thirty second rest period. Cactus up at four. Vader kicks his ass. He throws him on the ramp and Cactus gets a sleeper. Vader FALLS STRAIGT BACK ON HIM! OH. MY. GOD. OH. MY. GOD. HOLY HOLY HOLY HOLY HOLY SHIT!

That ruptered Cactus’ kidney and he thought it’d end his career. Vader chairs him and DDTs him right on the chair. They check on Jack but Vader is all fuck that and pins him for three. Thirty second rest period. Cactus DDTs him on the chair but Harley Race tazes him in the leg. Vader wins. Wild, chaotic sick brawl. ****1/4 Cactus beats up Race post-match.

The Bottom Line- Very good TV title match and awesome main event. Everything else pretty much sucks. The main event is legendary so that’s reason enough to check it out. Use the FF button a lot though.

Mild Recommendation