411’s WWE Raw Report 02.20.06

They show us last week when Edge lost to Cena thanks to Mick Foley’s sorry ass. Then, of course, Edge speared Foley following Lita’s nut shot.

Cue the Raw intro. Cue the pyros. Cue thousands of screaming fans. All this can only mean one thing – another edition of Monday Night Raw!

Joey Styles welcomes us to Monday Night Raw from Trenton, New Jersey. Coach tells us about the Intercontinental title match between Shelton Benjamin and Ric Flair. King tells us about the Triple Threat match involving Triple H, RVD, and Big Show.

**Candice Michelle’s music hits**

The following is a women’s battle royal, and it is a #1 contender’s match. Introducing first, from Milwaukee, Wisconsin – Candice Michelle.

And making her way to the ring from Boise, Idaho – Torrie Wilson. Oh. My. God. She looks amazing.

**Be Yourself is all that you can do….**

The 2005 Diva search winner – Ashley.

**Maria’s music hits**

From Chicago, Illinois – Maria.

**I ain’t the lady to mess with…..**

And making her way to the ring – Victoria.

**Mickie James music hits**

And from Richmond, Virginia – Mickie James.

**Trish’s music hits**

And it looks like Trish Stratus will be taking this match in as well.

Match 1: Women’s Battle Royal

All the ladies attack one another as soon as the bell rings. Tilt-a-whirl into a sideslam by Victoria to Mickie James, I think. Victoria looking to throw Ashley out, but she hangs on to the apron. Maria comes for the assist and almost knocks Victoria out as well. Mickie James throwing some big right hands to Mickie James, but Maria turns it around. Candice with a kick to the ribs of Maria. Maria pounding away on Candice, but Victoria makes the save and clotheslines her. Torrie is almost out courtesy of Ashley, but Candice Michelle makes the save. Torrie thanks her and Candice pushes Torrie off the apron. Victoria wonders what the hell is going on and shoves down Candice. Mickie James almost had her tit ripped out by Ashley while Victoria strangles Maria in the corner. Ashley and Maria team up to throw Victoria out. Spinning back kick by James to Ashley. Bronco buster for Candice from Maria – that lasted a long ass time. Mickie grabs Maria and throws her through the middle rope. I guess she’s out. Mickie James going crazy on Ashley. Mickie gives the thumbs up to Trish. Ashley reverses a whip into the turnbuckle, but she gets a back elbow from Mickie. Mickie with a head scissors on Ashley – Mickie is trying to eliminate Ashley, but Candice comes out of nowhere and eliminates them both.

WINNER: Candice Michelle (4:01)

Candice on the mic: Check it out Trish. You want to know why I’m too hot for Raw. It’s not because of my Super Bowl commercials, and it’s not because of my appearance on the Tonight Show. And it’s not because I’m going to be on the cover of Playboy magazine, but it’s because when I beat you I’m going to be the new W-W-E Women’s Champion.

**You think you know me…**

Edge and Lita make their way to the ring. Lita walks up to Candice and grabs the microphone.

Edge: You wanna talk about being champion. Well, I should be champion! So get the hell out of my ring, toots – RIGHT NOW! Voice like that is like nails on a chalkboard. Hit the road, toots.

Candice leaves the ring.

Edge: Now to the issue at hand. You see last week I had John Cena beat. And the only reason I’m not standing here as champion is because of one man! (Triple H?) And that one man’s name is Mick Foley. (Oh I see) So, Mick – I hope you’re sitting at home nice and comfy on your couch. I hope you’re watching real close because I’m going to give you a personal lesson of what happens when you mess with the Rated R Superstar. You see for the past few weeks I’ve had a bunch of nobodies come up to me with your best Hacksaw Jim Duggan impersonation (HOOOOOO) – yeah, just like that calling my girlfriend a ho (HOOOOO). Tonight I take care of that because I challenged Hacksaw Jim Duggan to a match, and he accepted.

Lita on the mic: Hey – so Hacksaw. (HOOOOOO) Very funny. Hacksaw, you get your wall-eyed goofy butt down here because you’re going to find out what happens when you mess with my man – the Rated R Superstar.

**HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

And there he is – “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.

Looks like this match is up next!

Ad Break

Match 2: Edge vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

We’re back as Hacksaw lands a big clothesline and sends Edge to the outside. Hacksaw starts a big USA chant. Edge up on the ring apron and Hacksaw delivers a few rights. Edge breaks that up and snaps Hacksaw’s neck across the top rope. Edge kicks Hacksaw and Hacksaw takes a tumble to the outside this time. Edge follows him outside and lands a big elbow. More rights from Edge. Edge slams Hacksaw’s head into the steel steps. More rights from Edge. Hacksaw fighting back now with some rights and lefts of his own. Hacksaw sends Edge into the steel ring post. Edge slides into the ring, and Hacksaw follows him in. Big dropkick by Edge sends Hacksaw to the mat. Hacksaw locks in a side headlock, but Edge lands a back suplex. Cover gets 2. Edge to the second rope, comes off, and gets a clothesline from Hacksaw. Hacksaw with some lefts and rights backs Edge into the corner. Hacksaw up on the second rope and gets a ten count from the crowd. Hooooooooooooo! Irish whip by Hacksaw. Hacksaw catches Edge and slams him into the mat. Three point stance by Hacksaw, but Lita grabs his leg. Hacksaw turns around and gets a spear. That’s all.

WINNER: Edge (3:32)

Lita grabs the 2×4, gives it to Edge, and Edge slams it into Hacksaw’s jugulars. Edge asks for a microphone and gets it.

Edge: Foley, did you see that? Did you see what I did to Duggan? And he didn’t do anything like you did to me. You cost me my dream of walking into Wrestlemania as the champion – you son of a bitch! So, I’m gonna make it real simple because I know you’ve only got one ear. Mick Foley versus Edge at Wrestlemania. And Mick – I’m gonna give you one week to accept my challenge in this ring and if you don’t come here I’m gonna come to Long Island, drag your sorry carcass into your backyard, and beat your ass right in front of your entire family.

Don’t forget about the Road to Wrestlemania Tournament Finals later on tonight. Big Show is starting off into the abyss backstage.

Big Show: The first time you lace up a pair of wrestling boots. You step into the ring; you’ve got one goal. That goal is to be the WWE champion. Then there’s this opportunity for you to be in the main event of Wrestlemania. I’ve been in the main event before at Wrestlemania 2000. Some people say I may have taken that for granted. But tonight I’m focused on what is in front of me. What is in front of me tonight is RVD and Triple H. Now, if I chokeslam RVD and Triple H I will go on to the main event at Wrestlemania. And if I chokeslam RVD and Triple H I also stop Triple H from going to the main event at Wrestlemania. I don’t know which is sweeter.

Ad Break

John Cena was in Bombay, India two weeks ago. Too bad for them.

**Kane’s music hits**

Making his way to the ring, one-half of the world tag team champions, Kane.

**Chris Masters’ music hits**

And his opponent, from Los Angeles, California, “The Masterpiece” Chris Masters.

Match 3: Kane vs. Chris Masters

Lockup – both men jockeying for position. Masters turns Kane around and backs him into the corner. Loads of rights by Masters. Irish whip by Masters is reversed by Kane. Clothesline missed by Kane, but that doesn’t matter because he’ll just nail three right hands to Masters and Masters will slide out of the ring. Kane follows Masters to the outside. Kane with a goozle on Masters, but he pulls Kane straight into the steel ring post. Big clothesline by Masters. Masters slides Kane into the ring. Masters with an elbow drop. And another. Masters stomps away on the sternum of Kane. Masters locks in a version of the Boston crab, but Kane gets to the ropes. Masters releases his hold at the three count, and then lands a big boot to the midsection of Kane. Masters picks up Kane and puts him on the top rope. Masters up to the second rope, but Kane lands a series of elbows that drops Masters to the mat. Kane on the top rope, comes off, and lands a big clothesline! Side slam by Kane. Big uppercut from Kane. Masters off the ropes, Kane misses the big boot – Masters turns him around, Master Lock! He almost had it locked in, but Kane picks up Masters for a Samoan Drop that never happens. Masters slides off – GOOZLE by Kane, but a boot from Masters. Master Lock again from Masters – NO, reversed by Kane into a Master Lock of his own. Masters breaks that up with an elbow. Masters off the ropes, big boot, cover and that’s all.

WINNER: Kane (3:15)

Kane looks to put the turnbuckles on fire, but Masters locks on the Master Lock from behind! After about 15 seconds of that Masters tosses Kane to the outside. Masters taunts, but Kane sits up. Masters is freaked out, and he heads to the back.

Coach reminds us about the Intercontinental Title match tonight.

Ad Break

Wrestlemania XXII is 41 days away.

RVD in the back: This triple threat match tonight is for the WWE championship at THE main event of all main events – at Wrestlemania. There’s no other opportunity to strive for your entire career. That’s what tonight is all about – the gateway to immortality. All I have to do is win tonight and I’ll head to Wrestlemania. Nobody is ever going to forget Big Show, Triple H has already been there. Tonight this match belongs to be me – R-V-D.

They show us what happened last week when Vince and Shawn had their little confrontation at Shawn’s retirement party.

Vince McMahon is in the back. Out of nowhere comes the Spirit Squad. Vince says Shawn disrespected the Spirit Squad. He says he’s going to take four of them and they will make their debut tonight on Raw. Four members against one, Shawn Michaels.

Ric Flair will defend his IC Title against Shelton Benjamin NEXT!

Ad Break

**WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the Intercontinental Championship. Introducing first from Charlotte, North Carolina – the Intercontinental Champion, “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair.

Shelton Benjamin is in the back with his mama making sure she’s ok. He’s dedicating his win to her tonight.

**Ain’t no stopping me nooooooooooooooooow**

Shelton and mama make their way to the ring.

Match 4: Ric Flair vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton and Flair circle each other. Flair backs off and struts his stuff. Lockup into a side headlock by Shelton. Shelton off the ropes with a shoulder block knocking Flair to the mat. Shelton off the ropes again and Flair lands an arm drag. WOOOOO! Lockup again – Shelton backs Flair into the corner. No clean break from Shelton as he pounds away on Flair with a series of rights. The last one drops Flair to the mat. Big chop from Flair. And two more times for good measure. Flair sent off the ropes, shoulder block by Flair. Flair off the ropes again, but avoids an arm drag by holding on to the ropes. Shelton rushes at Flair and runs into a chop. Another chop from Flair. Irish whip by Flair and he lands a big a back body drop. More chops from Flair with the last one sending Shelton over the top rope to the outside!

Ad Break (2:00)

Ad Break Ends (4:54)

We’re back with Shelton in control. Shelton has Flair backed into the corner and lands some rights. Shelton argues with the ref a little bit so that gives Flair some time to chop the living shit out of him. Shelton hits the mat so Flair goes for a Figure Four, but Shelton kicks him to the outside. Baseball slide whiffs from Shelton – Flair with another chop on the outside. Flair looking to whip Shelton into the steel ring post, but Shelton counters it into a Samoan drop on the floor. Shelton rolls back into the ring. Flair begins to roll back in, but Shelton grabs him on the ring apron and lands a beautiful vertical suplex into the ring. Cover gets 2. Shelton sends Flair into the turnbuckle and Flair walks off and into a back body drop. Another cover gets two. Shelton lands a huge thrust kick to the back of the head of Flair. Cover by Shelton – 1…2… kick out. Knee to the back from Shelton. Shelton continues to work over the back of Flair. Shelton and Flair exchanging rights and chops. Whip by Shelton is reversed by Flair – reversed again. Shelton goes for a kick to the midsection, but Flair catches it – spinning back kick! Cover gets another two. Flair sends Shelton into the buckle, but rushes in and meets a back elbow from Shelton. Shelton to the top rope – comes off and nails a clothesline halfway across the ring. Cover gets two as Flair gets his foot on the bottom rope. Shelton rolls Flair to the center of the ring and looks to lock in the Figure Four. Flair kicks him off, but Shelton gets to the ring apron. Springboard by Shelton from the ring apron all the way across the ring and runs right into a chop. Cover by Flair gets two. Knee clip from Flair. Figure four forthcoming – he’s got it locked in! Shelton trying to get to the ropes. And he got there! Shelton pulls himself to the outside of the ring. Mama might be having another heart attack. She is leaning against the barricade. Referee Jack Doan is calling for some medics. Shelton grabs her air tank and nails Flair right in the ribs! Shelton in the ring with it now and he nails him again! Mama says she is ok now. T-bone suplex! Shelton with the cover and we have a new IC champion! Mama does a little dance!

WINNER: Shelton Benjamin (11:48)

Shawn Michaels walks in the back as he gets ready for his 4-on-1 match against the Spirit Squad.

Ad Break

Stacy Keibler keeps kicking ass on Dancing With the Stars. Call in and vote, jerks.

**Spirit Squad music hits**

The Spirit Squad hits the ring to take on Shawn Michaels.

**Oh….ooohh…Shawn**

And making his way to the ring, from San Antonio, Texas – “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels.

Match 5: Shawn Michaels vs. Four Members of the Spirit Squad

Shawn starts with some dude. Lockup – Shawn off the ropes, shoulder block by Shawn. Shawn off the ropes again – leapfrog by Kenny and he lands a hip toss. Dropkick knocks Shawn to the mat. Kenny tags in Johnny. Lockup into a side headlock by Shawn. Shawn off the ropes again. Shawn gets a kick to the back by Mikey and Johnny lands a sweet ass spinning wheel kick. Cover gets two. Nick gets tagged in as he pounds away on Shawn in the corner. Snap mare takedown into a back headlock by Nick. HBK up to his feet and powering ou tof it. Off the ropes goes HBK, and one of the members pulls down the top rope and Shawn goes to the outside. The one member that is not in the match pulls a trampoline out from underneath the ring. Kenny goes off the trampoline for a clothesline. Pretty sweet maneuver. Shawn into the ring – cover gets two. Standing bodyslam by Nick. Nick tags to Mikey. Backflip splash by Mikey. Shawn fighting back now with some chops. Irish whip by Shawn reversed by Mikey and Shawn nails a swinging neckbreaker. Tag to Kenny. Kenny to the top rope – great elevation by Kenny and he misses a leg drop from the top rope. Tag to another member. Shawn and the member exchange chops. Shawn off the ropes – flying burrito! Kip up! Inverted atomic drop by Shawn. Shawn comes off the top with an elbow drop! Tune up the band! Sweet Chin Music! Got it! Cover – 1…2….and it’s broken up by every member of the Spirit Squad. And there’s the bell.

WINNER: Shawn Michaels (5:47)

Spirit Squad continues the beat down – and here is……Marty F’n Jannetty! Holy shit. Marty and Shawn beat down the Spirit Squad and clear the ring.

Ad Break

**I spit in the face of people who don’t want to be cool**

Carlito makes his way to the ring.

Carlito on mic: Last year at Wrestlemania, Carlito humiliated Roddy Piper and Stone Cold Steve Austin just like I’m going to humiliate this guy.

Match 6: Carlito vs. Nick Burke

Carlito hits “this guy” with the microphone and continues to pound on him. This guy is Nick Burke. Carlito says he has an idea as he continues the beat down. Big backcracker by Carlito. Carlito lands his finisher and that’s all for that match.

Carlito on the mic: You might just say this idea…..is money in the bank.

WINNER: Carlito (:58)

Ad Break

During the break,Matt Striker told a bunch of people to buy, study, and live a GQ magazine. Matt Striker is in it apparently.

Time for another announcement. The second member of this year’s Hall of Fame will be Eddie Guerrero. Big Eddie chant goes throughout the arena.

**No chance that’s what you’ve got….**

Vince on the mic: I guess maybe you people thought I’d be angry and upset about what happened earlier in the ring when Marty Janetty came out here and beat the hell out of the Spirit Squad. But I’m going to award him. Next week I’m going to present a full time contract to Marty Jannetty. He really needs it. He has fallen on some hard times over the years. He really wants that contract. There you have it – next week I will present him his full time contract. But there is this one thing – umm…and that is just prior to presenting Marty Jannetty with his full time contract he has to do one thing. And that’s simply join a club. A rather elite club. And of course that would be the Mr. McMahon Kiss My Ass Club. Thank you very much – see you next week.

The Triple Threat match is next.

Triple H in the back: Wrestlemania – just the word sends a shiver up your spine. Wrestlemania – the greatest showcase of them all. A night when heroes are made and legends are born. A place where I have been more than any man alive. The champion will come to Wrestlemania will come so strong, so prepared, so ready to win – but he’ll have to look into the eyes of the Game. He’ll have to look into the eyes of the greatest wrestler in this business, and he will know he is ready to lose. Tonight I confirm the fact that I will wrestle for the WWE championship. Tonight I confirm the fact at Wrestlemania the king of kings goes back on his throne.

Ad Break

The Wrestlemania big time moment is when Hulk Hogan slammed and defeated Andre the Giant.

Next week Trish Stratus will defend her women’s championship against Candice Michelle.

**WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLL…well it’s the Big Show**

Introducing first – one-half of the World Tag Team Champions – Big Show.

**RVD’s music hits**

Making his way to the ring from Battle Creek, Michigan – Rob…..Van…..Dam.

**It’s time to play the game…..**

And weighing in at 265 pounds, Triple H!

Match 7: Big Show vs. RVD vs. Triple H

Triple H blows out his water as Big Show sneaks up from behind. Show throws him into the ring, and the bell now rings. Show with a big slap. Irish whip by Show, ducks the head, and Triple H with the boot. Triple H off the rope again and Show lands a gorilla press slam. Cover gets two before RVD breaks it up. Show didn’t like that so he slaps the skin of RVD’s chest. Triple H gets one too. And RVD gets another one. Show with a big headbutt to Trips. RVD gets a right. Triple H gets yet another headbutt and falls to the outside. Irish whip by Show to RVD and he lands a big sideslam. Show goes to the outside and slaps the skin off Triple H now. Trips ambles around the outside as Show stalks him. Show with another slap and Trips lands into the front row of the fans. Show goes into the crowd to get him, and he lands yet another slap. RVD up on the barricade, and he lands a big kick to the back of the neck of Show. Show is draped across the barricade – R….V….D – RVD jumps into the crowd, but Show catches him!! Show follows that up by dropping RVD chest first on to the floor.

Ad Break (2:56)

Ad Break Ends (5:56)

Show remains in control as the break comes to an end. Show sends Trips into the turnbuckle. Goozle on RVD, but Show backs him into Trips. Show sends RVD from buckle to buckle. He does the same to Trips. RVD does a flip maneuver and gets out of the way of Trips. Somersaults from RVD avoids a clothesline. Big kick by RVD to Show. Show still standing. RVD and Trips working over Show and he still won’t go down. RVD lands a series of kicks so Show finally goes to one knee. Goozle out of nowhere and Triple H saves him. Show on two knees. RVD and Trips off the ropes – DOUBLE GOOZLE! Double chokeslam!! All three men are down! Clothesline to Triple H, clothesline to RVD. Headbutt to RVD by Show. Irish whip by Show to Triple H and he lands a huge powerslam. Cover gets two as RVD breaks up another pin. Show throws RVD to the outside through the second rope. Standing press slam by Show on Triple H. RVD up on the apron. RVD snaps Show on the top rope. RVD up top and he comes off with a leaping side kick to Big Show. Show rolls to the outside. Triple H misses a clothesline and RVD lands a dropkick. Clothesline from RVD. Spinning back kick by RVD. Split legged moonsault! Cover – 1….2… kick out! Whip by RVD – ducks his head and gets a face buster from Triple H. RVD catches Triple H in the act of a kick and lands another spinning heel kick. Rolling thunder! RVD is going to the top rope! Five star frog splash GOT IT! But Show is in the ring with a goozle. Kick from RVD – and a ton more. Another spinning back kick by RVD. Spinning heel kick by RVD takes Show to the mat. RVD to the top rope again! Triple H out of nowhere shoves RVD all the way to the barricade. Triple H is bringing a chair into the ring – big chair shot by Triple H! Pedigree forthcoming – GOT IT! Cover – 1…2….SAVED BY RVD!! RVD chants throughout the arena! RVD with a right to Triple H. Irish whip reversed b y Triple H – RVD holds on to the ropes and Triple H is backdropped to the floor. RVD to the top rope! FIVE STAR! GOT IT!! RVD going for the cover, but Triple H won’t let Chioda make the count. 1…2….KICK OUT! Shit! Triple H in the ring – Pedigree. That’s all. Go fuck yourself Triple H.

WINNER: Triple H (13:13)

**Cena’s music hits**

John Cena is here. Cena hits the ring and stares down Triple H. Cena lifts the belt into the face of Triple H as we fade to black amongst a chorus of boos.

Well, it’s easy to see Wrestlemania XXII is shaping up to be a big freaking DUD. See ya’ll next week.