411’s TNA Impact Report 12.17.05

Last week on Impact:

Match #1 Jeff Jarrett © & America’s Most Wanted (Harris and Storm) © defeated Jeff Hardy & The Naturals (Stevens and Douglas)

AMW handcuffs Hardy and JJ sets up the table in the ring. Douglas is up and fights them off, but the numbers are too much. AMW gets the 3D to Douglas through the table!

We are back with Larry having Security hold Raven back. Raven wants his title shot. Larry says he lost last week. Larry has a surprise for him at Turning Point. Raven says he will drop Larry and he’ll never get up. Larry kicks him out.

Match #2 Samoa Joe killed Amazing Red

We are back with a tribute to the Chicago White Sox. Tenay is in the ring with AJ Styles, Sonjay Dutt and Chris Sabin. Tenay puts over the debut on Impact on Spike TV, the PPV’s and the X-Division. In baseball, it will be remembered for the White Sox. He introduces Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, Dale Torborg (THE KISS DEAMON!) and AJ Persznski. Bobby Heenan on my TV makes me happy. Dale holds the ropes for Heenan. Heenan says he knew when the Sox singed Persznski they would win the World Series. Persznski says it was a great year, and he has always been a wrestling fan. They give the X guys autographed baseball bats. Tenay says Persznski was dubbed, “The Phenomenal” one. Dale says Sabin has been impressive and he deserves it. Heenan has a jersey for Dutt. Styles is about to give Persznski something, but the Diamonds in the Rough are here. SIMON HAS A PROBLEM! He hates to be the one to break this up, but he has to be honest, he can’t believe that they are wasting time to give these baseball players awards. He mocks Persznski, and says he struck out and got to 1st because the catcher fell asleep. He asks what he hit last year? .256! That is 1 out of 4. If David or Elix were that bad he’d fire them. He better get on that then. He tells Persznski to take his average and the guy who failed in wrestling to go back home. Dale gets pissed and Simon says Persznski needs a DH! He slaps Dale. BRAWL~! Security is out and Persznski want some of the fight as we head to commercial.

Match #3 Konnan & Kip James w/BG and Killings defeated The Beasts of Burden

Terry Taylor with Team Canada. Roode shoves him out of the way. Roode says Christian had the chance, and he blew it. Christian turned his back on Canada, his home. Roode proves tonight that he is the greatest and he will show him how a true Canadian rolls. D’Amore says after all they were through, he sees who Christian really is. He had a chance to rule the place, they may have come up together and have been brothers, but that is over since he dropped D’Amore on his head. His new family is Team Canada, AMW and JJ. Tonight, he gets what is due to him.

Match #4 “Captain Charisma” Christian Cage defeated Bobby Roode w/Coach D’Amore

Mitchell runs down Sabu. He says Sabu keeps coming back and he found Abyss’ weakness. Mitchell says the only way for him to get rid of the fear, is to face it. Mitchell says Sabu knows how dangerous the match is. Is an artery is ripped open, you die. Abyss will rip his flash apart with the wire. When it is all said an done, Mitchell will pick up the flesh and feed it to his dogs.

Lights out.

SABU! The ring is magically now surrounded in barbed wire as we fade to a PPV hype commercial

What did you think of the show last week?

Impact 12.08.05 Totals

Thumbs Up – 27 – 62%
Thumbs Down – 3 – 7.50%
Thumbs in the Middle – 10 – 23.00%
Didn’t Watch Show, Read Recap – 3 – 7.50%

43 Votes

Thanks to all that voted, and remember at the end of this recap to vote for this week’s show!

Today on iMpact:

Samoa Joe © vs. Jay Lethal

Alex Shelley vs. Matt Bentley w/Traci

Rhino vs. Joe Doering

And in our main event: Team 3D vs. The Diamonds in the Rough (David Young and Elix Skipper) w/Simon Diamond

We get highlights of the PPV to open the show.

TNA iMpact Starts…NOW!

Tenay and West welcome us to iMpact and hype the show as well as last week’s PPV.

JJ is out to start the show. He asks Tenay what is up? He wants to know about the end of the PPV and Sting. Tenay plays dumb, and JJ says if TNA management wants a war, they got one.

JJ and Joe stare down as Joe makes his entrance.

Samoa Joe © w/Bloody Towel vs. Jay Lethal

Lock up and a headlock by Joe. Off the ropes and he takes Lethal down. Arm drag by Lethal, and a take down and Joe back with takedowns and they stand off. Kicks by Joe and Lethal is down. Irish whip and a reversal and dropsault by Lethal, cover and a count of 2. Another dropkick for 2. Off the ropes, Joe stops him, reversal and an atomic drop by Joe. Running YAKUZA by Joe. SENTON back splash and Joe is now in control. Chops by Joe now, Irish whip and the running knee to Lethal. Face wash and running boot. Rear choke by Joe now, Lethal battle up and escapes. Snap powerslam by Joe. Sets Lethal up top…MUSCLE BUSTA! Kokina Clutch and Lethal taps.

Winner: Samoa Joe @ 3:32 via Tap Out

Competitive squash here for Joe. They gave Lethal some offense, so if they end up bringing him back, he won’t look like a complete jobber..

Commercial time

Buy Morphoplex, it will keep Traci’s pants off! The following message was paid for by the friends and supporters of Steve Cook.

We are back with Konnan and Killings. Shane Douglas wants to know why? Konnan says he never trusted Kip, and Kip got what was coming to him. Konnan tells Ron he knows how he is and Kip isn’t family. Killings asks why, they were all like brothers. Konnan should have talked to him with this. The Kru is done now, they have too many problems. Killings is tired of being lost, and doesn’t know who he can trust. Killings is done with it. Konnan says he will handle this.

Alex Shelley vs. Matt Bentley w/Traci

Tenay puts over the Turning Point PPV. Alex works over Bentley with right, Bentley escapes an arm bar and gets a dropkick. Rights to Alex, Irish whip, reversal and a 2nd rope dropkick by Bentley gets 2. Bentley tries a suplex, reversal and Bentley with rights to Alex. Spin kick by Alex and Bentley is down. Apparently JJ and Shane Douglas are going around the backstage area to find out more about Sting. Back suplex by Alex, figure four face lock and then a stomp deal that is sweet looking. Chops to Bentley, then knees. Off the ropes, and charging double knees by Alex. A DDT and a cover for 2 on Bentley. Shannon Moore is on top of the stage watching on with a sign that says, “The X-Division needs to get PUNK’D.” Bentley in control, atomic drop and an Enziguri gets 2. Flatliner by Bentley and another cover for 2. Right by Alex, sweet roll up and Alex wins!

Winner: Alex Shelley @ 3:56 via pin

Solid for the time given, and Shelley WINS! HOORAH!

In the back with Franchise and JJ. JJ finds AMW and says they are giving TNA a war. They are looking for Monty, and Gail Kim is back. She says they need to talk, and she is pissed about Jackie Gayda. She wants answers, and JJ says they will talk much later. They go to look for Monty.

Commercial time.

We are back with Franchise, Abyss and Jim Mitchell. Abyss shows his scars and Mitchell says Abyss is being overlooked in the NWA Title picture. Abyss has given a lot and gets nothing. All they hear about is Rhino and his hard times. Mitchell says that is nothing compared to what Abyss has gone through. Abyss is set on winning the NWA title, because he IS the weapon of Mass Destruction. If anyone gets in his way, the end result is doomsday.

Scott D’Amore is here, and he has a “business proposal” for Mitchell. At least it wasn’t an “indecent proposal.”

Rhino vs. Joe Doering

Boots by Rhino to begin. He beats down Doering and chokes him out. Doering rammed to the corner and rights by Rhino. Doering gets a few rights and takes Rhino to the corner, right by Rhino and a clothesline. Off the ropes…and a shoulder block by Rhino in the corner. Belly to belly by Rhino. GORE, GORE, GORE and that’s all.

Winners: Rhino @ 1:51 via pin

Rhino calls dude a bitch and says he kicked his ass. They chant, “you got screwed” for Rhino. Rhino says it took JJ and all of his bitches to keep the NWA title. He beat JJ’s ass and made him bleed. They will cross paths again soon. Team Canada, I will go through each one of you until I get to that bastard Coach D’Amore. And I will cut him in half with a GORE,GORE, GORE!

Squash.

JJ is talking to the Diamonds in the Rough. They are with him and JJ wants to know is they saw Monty. He tells them to take care of Team 3D. Gail wants to talk now. JJ says it has to wait, but she wants to talk now.

Commercial time.

We are back with Franchise with Larry Z. Larry says Raven is lacking control and TNA management wants him to end it. At Final Resolution he will choose a match and opponent for Raven. If he wins, he gets his title shot, if he loses he is gone from TNA forever.

Team 3D vs. The Diamonds in the Rough (David Young and Elix Skipper) w/Simon Diamond

Team 3D hits the ring and beats down Elix and Young. Reverse 3D to Elix for 2. Neck breaker by Ray. Off the ropes, Elix to the apron…flip in and Ray levels him with a clothesline for 2. Young is taken to the floor, press slam by Devon on Elix and he tosses him all the way to the floor! Young and Simon check on Elix and we head to a commercial a @ 1:48.

Back from commercial @ 5:40, that was long. Ray is tripped up by Simon and Elix takes control. Tag to Young, and they beat down Ray. Rights by Young, and he chokes out Ray now. Boots to Ray and Ray fights back with slaps and chops. Dave Hebner is watching on and taking notes on the match. Elix is back in and he works over Ray with kicks. Ray no sells and fires back with rights. Elix gets a forearm and then nails Devon. Young is in and they double team Ray. Boots to the head of Ray and Elix tags in and more kicks to Ray. Back and forth with shots to each other, roll up by Ray for 2. Elix rolls him up for 2. Bubba Bomb by Ray! Both men are down and looking for a tag. Tags to Devon and Young. Devon is control and a shoulder block to Young. Neck breaker to Young. Spinebuster gets 2 as Elix saves Young. Off the ropes, clothesline to Elix. Irish whip and a clothesline to Young. Ray is in and tosses Elix. Reverse 3D to Young, Simon is on the apron and he grabs Devon. Elix in and nails Simon! Opps. Ray has Elix on his shoulders…DEADLY DEVICE! Young is in…3D FOO! 1…2…3.

Winners: Team 3D @ 11:04 via pin

The last few moments when Devon got the hot tag picked up, but this was a rather ass match. ASS I SAY!

JJ is with Team Canada. D’Amore says he talked to Monty and he says Monty doesn’t like them much. He asks Gail what is wrong and she is all pissy and JJ and Team Canada head to the ring.

Commercial time.

We are back as we get highlights of the Video Game awards. JJ and AJ were there. They say JJ and The Rock “bumped into each other” there.

JJ, AMW, Mitchell and Abyss and Team Canada are all in the ring. He says TNA is bringing in all of these outside guys like Cage and Rhino. This past week they teased Sting and he’s another one. JJ says TNA will get a war. JJ wants to know who is with him. D’Amore says he and Team Canada are with him. He asks AMW and they shake with him. He asks Abyss and Mitchell, he puts over Abyss for all he has done and says Abyss has gotten nothing. Mitchell shakes with JJ after Abyss nods yes. JJ calls out Monty.

Monty is here. JJ, the Serengeti is not a wild life refuge. It is not a nature preserve. It is a place for Monty to run wild and not to be limited, like TNA has done to him. Let me loose! He listened to JJ and he has never liked JJ and he has been a liar, but JJ is right. Monty doesn’t play political games and what JJ says makes sense. Monty has 3 rules, kill or be killed hunt or be hunted and survival of the fittest. ROAR JJ! The Alpha Male is ALL IN! They shake and hug. Monty says LET THE WAR BEGIN!

Lights out…scorpion symbols all around and Cage, Rhino and 3D are on the ramp. They stare down and we fade…

Final Impact Thoughts: I am kind of torn on this episode. The “main event” was ass, but keeps 3D rolling. Joe and Lethal was fun, and Shelley finally got a good win under his belt. Rhino’s match was a squash, but sets him up well still. Not a lot of wrestling, but they did a lot of storyline work which I thought was good. I do enjoy JJ trying to take on “TNA” and having Christian, Rhino and 3D there as the opposition until Sting arrives. This has to set up for the BIG title loss by JJ, and hopefully not to Sting. I also enjoyed the advancement in Larry vs. Raven, short and to the point. Having Moore and Hebner involved could be good, as Moore could be fun in the X Division, and I am curious how they will use Henber or the Hebners. So while the wrestling wasn’t a lot of even spectacular, they really are trying to create good stories, which has been a major mark against them.

If you missed the show tonight, remember there is a replay Monday’s at Midnight!

READER PARTICIPATION: What did you think of the show? Click your choice and send away!

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Next week I will have the poll results at the beginning of the recap, along with the “Last week on Impact” recap.