Lest We Forget: ECW December to Dismember 2006

ECW December to Dismember
From James Brown Arena in Augusta, Georgia
December 3, 2006

A video promo hypes the Elimination Chamber main-event for the ECW World Championship.

MNM w/ Melina vs. The Hardy Boys

Matt and Mercury lock up to start things off. Matt gets a shoulder block and then scores with a hip toss. The two stand off after an equal exchange, leading to a Jeff and Nitro entering the ring. Matt wrenches Mercury’s arm and sends him into the buckle with the hold intact. Jeff tags in and continues to work the arm. Matt tags back in quickly and continues the assault. Mercury elbows Matt and tags in Nitro, is greeted with a hip-toss. Jeff tags in and hits a slingshot dropkick! One, two, no! Matt tags in, and he and Jeff hit a double back elbow followed by a frontflip senton/leg drop combo. Mercury runs in but gets tripped up, and The Hardy Boys hit a sweet double lift into an electric chair drop. Jeff tags back in and goes for a jawbreaker, but Nitro knees him in the ribs to stop it. MNM hit a double back elbow after a Mercury tag for two. Nitro hits a neckbreaker. STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS BY NITRO, BUT NO ONE IS HOME! Matt tags in and regains momentum for his team. Matt charges but eats a back elbow in the corner. Nitro goes up to the second rope, but MATT PULLS HIM OFF WITH A SITOUT SPLASH MOUNTAIN POWERBOMB! ONE, TWO, Mercury breaks it up! Matt hits the ropes but Melina grabs his foot. Matt chases her around the ring but fall victim to a clothesline from Mercury. Mercury tags in and MNM hit a double team gutbuster! Nitro tags in and hits a running knee to Matt’s gut for two. While the referee is distracted, Melina puts Matt in a head scissors. Mercury goes in and MNM hit a double team swinging facebuster! Nitro tags in lays into Matt with some punches before tagging back out. MNM go for a double team suplex, but Matt lands on his feet and drops them both with a neckbreaker! Matt tries to make the tag, but MNM cut him off and throw Jeff to the floor. MNM hit Poetry in Motion and mock The Hardy’s pose. Mercury goes for a Twist of Fate while Nitro goes up top, but Matt shoves Mercury off into the ropes, crotching Nitro! HOT TAG TO JEFF HARDY! Jeff hits his double leg drop for two. Jeff drops Nitro hit a Gordbuster! Matt clotheslines Mercury to the floor, then FOLLOWS UP WITH A PLANCHA! NITRO HITS A SUPERMAN DIVE TO THE FLOOR! JEFF IS UP TOP NOW- JEFF WIPES OUT EVERYONE ON THE FLOOR WITH A CROSS BODY! The Hardy Boys hit Poetry in Motion. TWIST OF FATE TO MERCURY! JEFF GOES FOR A SWANTON BOMB, BUT NITRO PULLS MERCURY TO THE FLOOR! Matt goes to the outside, but Nitro slams his head on the apron. Nitro scores with a springboard missile dropkick! One, two, no! Nitro starts to target the back of Jeff Hardy. Mercury tags in and MNM slingshot him into the buckles. Mercury applies a surfboard, but lets go to hit a fist drop. Nitro tags in, and the MNM members flip Jeff into buckles. Nitro hits a handstand leg drop for two. Jeff fights Nitro off, but Nitro goes to the eyes and throws Jeff violently to the floor. While the referee is distracted, Melina boots Jeff in the gut. Mercury tags in after Jeff is sent inside. Mercury covers after a double team leg drop for two. Mercury pounds away on Jeff’s back and tags Nitro back in. Mercury hits a backbreaker, and Nitro slingshots in with an elbow drop! Cover- one, two, Matt breaks it up! Jeff gets a sunset flip, but Mercury tags in before being taken down and pounds away on Hardy. Mercury applies a modified camel clutch. Jeff gets up, but Mercury gets an O’Connor roll. Hardy kicks out and sends Mercury out to the floor. Jeff crawls toward his corner, but Mercury yanks Matt off the apron. While they go at it on the floor, Nitro yanks Jeff back to the MNM corner. It’s the little things, folks. Nitro tags in. MNM goes for the double slingshot again, but JEFF SCALES THE BUCKLES AND TAKES OUT BOTH MEN WITH A WHISPER IN THE WIND! HOT TAG TO MATT! Matt cleans house on MNM. Matt sends Nitro into the buckles and follows up with a bulldog where he clotheslines Mercury! Matt dishes out Side Effects to both men! Cover on Nitro- ONE, TWO, NO! Matt goes up to the second rope. Leg drop off the second! One, two, no! Jeff tags back in. Matt gets Nitro up his shoulders and feeds him to Jeff. Mercury comes in and breaks it up, and NITRO HURRICARANAS JEFF OFF THE BUCKLES! ONE, TWO, NO! Nitro goes up top but Jeff stops him. Matt places Mercury up on the opposite buckle. DUELING SUPERPLEXES BY THE HARDY BOYS! Matt and Mercury go to the floor. Jeff covers Nitro, but Melina distracts the ref. Melina tries to slap Jeff, but he blocks it. Nitro tries to dropkick Jeff, BUT HE MOVES AND NITRO KNOCKS MELINA TO THE FLOOR INSTEAD! JEFF SCHOOL BOYS NITRO! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Jeff tries for a back body drop but Nitro kicks him as Mercury rolls inside. SNAPSHOT BY MNM! ONE, TWO, THRE-MATT BREAKS IT UP! Mercury disposes of Matt. MNM place Jeff up top. MNM set up for a Super Snapshot, but Matt breaks it up. MATT TAKES BOTH MEMBERS OFF MNM OFF THE SECOND ROPE WITH A TWIST OF FATE! JEFF GETS TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE- SWANTON BOMB ONTO BOTH MEN! Jeff covers- ONE, TWO, THREE! The Hardy Boys win the opening contest at 22:24!

Winners: The Hardy Boys
This was one of the best tag team matches of 2006. It was worked intelligently with great peaks and valleys. The finishing sequence was absolutely spectacular. Tremendous opener. 1 for 1.

Joey Styles and Tazz hype the Extreme Elimination Chamber. They throw it to the back with Rob Van Dam, which was an ECW.com exclusive that isn’t actually exclusive because it’s being shown right now. RVD says he understands the risks of tonight’s match, but that he’s fine with that.

Matt Striker comes out to the ring and cuts a promo. He mentions that he’s wrestling Balls Mahoney. Striker says he is here to restore order to a violent society. He says that he will be an Extreme Rules match tonight…in that there will be an extreme enforcement of the rules. That ruled. He tells the official to make sure there is no eye-gouging, hair pulling, moves off the top rope, or no foul language. He says we will see if Balls can wrestle under Striker’s rules.

Striker’s Rules Match: Matt Striker vs. Balls Mahoney

Striker’s face is on his trunks. Style makes a remark about him wanting to sit on his own face. Balls takes Striker down, but Striker hugs the bottom rope. The two lock up, and Striker pushes Mahoney into the ropes. Striker breaks with a shot to the ribs. Mahoney leap frogs Striker, which surprises him. Balls hits a hip toss and applies an arm bar, but Striker gets the ropes. Striker rolls out to the apron before tentatively re-entering the ring. Mahoney says some things, but neither the camera or fans can hear it. Mahoney turns to the crowd, and Striker decks him. Mahoney reverses a whip into the buckles, but misses charging it. Striker hits a divorce court arm breaker and then applies a shoulder lock. Striker pulls Balls to the mat by his hair. Striker continues to go after Mahoney’s arm. A “Striker sucks!” chant breaks out as he goes back to the shoulder lock. Balls rolls Striker up for two. Striker takes Balls to the mat for two. Striker hits some sledges to the arm and wrenches Balls’ arm. Striker applies a top wrist lock. Balls fights up, but Striker pulls him down by the arm again. Striker whips Balls into the buckles but eats a boot charging in. Balls hits some punches, but Striker takes him back down by the arm. Balls rolls through and gets up. Balls hits some more punches, but Striker cuts him off. Striker hits the ropes but Mahoney catches him with a sidewalk slam for two. Balls goes up to the top turnbuckle, but Striker shakes the rope and crotches him. Striker takes Balls down and applies a Fujiwara armbar! Striker wrenches back and Balls thinks about tapping. Balls makes it to the bottom rope. Striker tries to go back to work on the arm, but he is met with a back suplex. Balls drops Striker with some punches and then hits a back body drop. Balls throws more punches and drops Striker again. Balls sends Striker off but is caught with a boot. Striker hits the ropes BUT GETS PLANTED WITH A SITOUT SPINEBUSTER! ONE, TWO, THREE! Balls takes home the victory at 7:22.

Winner: Balls Mahoney
Although the match made sense, it wasn’t compelling or entertaining. Even though it was just a little longer than seven minutes, it still felt like it went too long. 1 for 2.

A commercial plays for Brian Pillman: Loose Cannon.

Backstage, CM Punk warms up for the Extreme Elimination Chamber by shadow boxing. The camera cuts away to Sabu, who has been taken out backstage. He is not responding. Paul Heyman walks up asking what happened. A medical crew says he isn’t responding and they put him on a stretcher. The crowd chants “bullshit!”

Elijah Burke and Sylvester Terkay comes out to the ring. Burke hypes up The Elijah Express and “The MMA Fighting Machine” Sylvester Terkay. He says “The Man Bear” and himself are about to have a feast.

Elijah Burke and Sylvester Terkay vs. The FBI (Little Guido Maritato and Tony Mamaluke) w/ Trinity

Maritato and Burke start it off. Burke takes him down and gets cocky. It should be notes that Burke is wrestling with his hat on. Guido gets a drop toe-hold and steals Burke’s hat. Mamaluke tags in and gets a schoolboy for two. Mamaluke goes to a wristlock and tags Little Guido back in. The FBI hit a double hip toss and follow up with a double team elbow drop. Mamaluke tags back in, but Burke takes control. Terkay tags in and pounds away on Mamaluke. Terkay sends Mamaluke into the buckles but misses a running cross body. Mamaluke tags out and Little Guido goes up top. Little Guido goes for a cross body off the top but gets caught. Mamaluke tries to charge Terkay but eats a boot and goes to the floor. TERKAY THROWS GUIDO OUT OF THE RING ONTO MAMALUKE! Burke rolls Guido back inside and Terkay pounds on him. Burke tags in and covers after some strikes for two. Burke applies a chinlock. Guido tries to fight out but get sent into the buckles. Guido starts to fight off both men, but Terkay cuts him off. Terkay tags in. Burke stands Guido up and Terkay levels him with a kick to the chest. Burke tags back in. Turkay whips Guido into the buckles and Burke charges, connecting with both knees to Guido’s chest. Burke follows up with an STO for two. Burke applies a chinlock but Guido fights up. Guido rolls under a kick and tags in Mamaluke, who hits two dropkicks. Turkey comes it, and he stops both FBI members, but they take him out with a series of low drop kicks. Double flapjack to Burke! Mamaluke covers for two. Turkay throws Guido up the ramp. Burke throws Mamaluke into a forearm from Turkay. Burke hits The Elijah Experience- one, two, three! Burke and Turkay win with relative ease at 6:41.

Winners: Elijah Burke and Sylvester Turkay
This was basically an elongated squash match with a few babyface shine spots. The crowd chanted, “change the channel” mid-match, which tells you all you need to know. 1 for 3.

After the match, Turkay drops Little Guido with a Muscle Buster. People on the internet at the time claimed there was a “TNA!” chant, but it was really just one guy yelling it in a dead crowd.

RVD and CM Punk check on Sabu, who is put into an ambulance.

Daivari and The Great Khali come out. Daivari says some stuff in a language I cannot understand.

Daivari w/ The Great Khali vs. Tommy Dreamer

The referee sends Khali out to the floor. Daivari hits a knee to the gut off the bat. Dreamer reverses a whip but Daivari rolls out to the floor. Daivari gets inside and takes control. Dreamer reverses a whip and hits a hip toss. Daivari goes back outside. Daivari gets back in the ring but Dreamer hits a drop toe hold. Daivari goes to the eyes and dropkicks Dreamer to the floor. He follows up with a baseball slide. Dreamer reverses a whip that sends Daivari into the barricade! Both men get back inside. Dreamer hits a suplex. He hits the ropes, but Khali low-bridges him to the floor. The referee ejects Khali from ringside. Daivari takes Dreamer back inside and pounds away. Daivari wears Dreamer down and applies a chinlock. Dreamer gets to his feet and hits some elbows, but Daivari pulls him down and hits some elbows for two. Dreamer lands some strikes and applies a neck crank. Dreamer elbows out but misses a clothesline. Daivari applies a sleeper. Dreamer stays awake and Daivari hops on his back. Dreamer falls back and breaks the hold. Both men are down and the referee counts. Both men get up and exchange punches. Dreamer gets the best of it and drops Daivari. Dreamer hits a back body drop. Dreamer follows up with an inverted DDT for two. Dreamer gets Daivari up on his shoulder, but Daivari slips out. Dreamer charges but eats a back elbow. Daivari goes up top. Dreamer goes up to stop him but gets shoved to the canvas. Daivari misses a cross body. Dreamer crotches Daivari in the corner. E-C-W! Dreamer hits a running baseball slide. Dreamer goes for a DDT, but Daivari slips free and gets a school boy with a handful of trunks! ONE, TWO, THREE! Daivari steals one at 7:23.

Winner: Daivari
The crowd didn’t care about this match, and neither did I. This was entirely uninteresting. 1 for 4.

After the match, Dreamer chases Daivari up the ramp, but The Great Khali comes back out and chokebombs him on the ramp. Referees rush out to attend to Dreamer. Dreamer gets up on his own power and the crowd cheers him on.

A behind-the-scenes look at See No Evil is shown to hype the DVD. Fun fact: this movie was supposed to be titled “Eye Scream Man” at one point.

Backstage, Paul Heyman approaches Hardcore Holly, who is in his gear for some reason. Heyman tells Holly about the circumstances regarding Sabu, and tells Holly that he will be Sabu’s replacement tonight. Holly is pleased with this news.

Mike Knox and Kelly Kelly comes out for their tag team match. Kelly Kelly takes the microphone behind Knox’s back to wish him good luck in the chamber tonight.

Mixed Tag Team Match: Mike Knox and Kelly Kelly vs. Kevin Thorne and Ariel

The only “babyface” in this match is Kelly Kelly, who isn’t REALLY a babyface. Knox and Thorne start things off. The two lock up but Knox shoves Thorne off. Knox applies a wrist lock but Thorne breaks free. Thorne ducks a clothesline and clubs away on Knox. Thorne hits a back elbow. The crowd is SILENT. Thorne pounds away on Knox. Thorne goes for a back body drop, but Knox sends him down to the mat and follows up with a vicious clothesline. Knox lays into Thorne with some forearm. Thorne goes to the eyes of Knox and hits a clothesline. Thorne clubs the forearm of Knox. Knox hits some boots and punches on Thorne. Knox hits a scoop slam for two. Knox charges but eats a back elbow. Thorne goes after Knox but eats a bicycle kick. One, two, Thorne gets his foot on the rope. Knox applies a neck crank. Thorne tries to fight out but Knox cuts him off and goes to a front headlock. Ariel tags in. Thorne punches Knox. Knox has to tag out to Kelly Kelly. Kelly Kelly tags in. The crowd is now on their feet. Ariel hits a boot to the chest. Ariel pulls Kelly Kelly’s hair. Ariel tosses Kelly Kelly to the mat and stomps on her. Ariel hits some forearm and then chokes Kelly Kelly with her boot. The crowd is really into the women. Ariel works a choke. Ariel goes for a shoulder tackle but Kelly Kelly evades. Kelly Kelly tries to make the tag but Ariel stops her. Ariel hits an elbow drop. She tries to follow up, but Kelly Kelly kicks her away. Kelly Kelly goes to make the tag, but Mike Knox walks off on her. A loud “CM Punk!” chant breaks out as Ariel chokes Kelly Kelly. Ariel hits a chokehold STO for three at 7:43.

Winners: Kevin Thorne and Ariel
The crowd was dead until the women came in, but when they did come in, the action was really sloppy. 1 for 5.

After the match, Ariel pounds away on Kelly Kelly. The Sandman’s music hits! Sandman hits the ring and beats up Thorne with the Singapore cane! Sandman nails Thorne with some vicious shots to the ribs as an “ECW!” chant breaks out. Thorne tries to flee up the ramp, but Sandman follows him and hits him a few more times. Sandman cracks open a beer and drinks in celebration.

Michael Cole is shown to hype Armageddon in Richmond. Cole discusses the triple main-event of The Undertaker vs. Mr. Kennedy in a Last Ride Match, Kane vs. MVP in an Inferno Match, and the World Heavyweight Champion Batista teaming with John Cena to take on King Booker and Finlay.

Joey Styles throws it to Rebecca, who is backstage with Bobby Lashley. Rebecca points out that Heyman has had it in for Lashley. Clips are shown of his match with Big Show from a few days before. Heyman sent out his goons, and Test leveled him with a big boot. All four men beat him down Lashley while Heyman yelled at him. Rebecca asks if he can overcome the odds. Lashley says nothing will stop him. “One Man, One Mission: ECW World Champion.

Another video package is shown to hype the Extreme Elimination Chamber. In a nice touch, Sabu is still in the promo, which makes him being taken out the night of seem spontaneous. Each competitor is showcased. This might be the longest video package I’ve ever seen, probably because we aren’t even two hours into the show at this point.

Paul Heyman comes out to the ring with his henchman before the match. Heyman puts over the chamber. He says he was standing in the back and he realized what he created. Heyman says that Hulkamania will die with Hogan, “woo’s” will die with Flair, but ECW will live on long after him because of Paul Heyman. He talks about the “extreme” element of the chamber. He tells the live crowd that Sabu has missed his opportunity. Heyman says that this is the beginning of the “global phenomenon of ECW” lead by Big Show. Heyman has the chamber lowered.

ECW World Championship, Extreme Elimination Chamber Match: The Big Show (c) vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Rob Van Dam vs. CM Punk vs. Test vs. Hardcore Holly

Big Show is the first man out, and he picks a cell with a barbed wire bat. CM Punk taunts Big Show during his entrance before entering a pod with a chair. Test goes into a mini-chamber with a crowbar. Bobby Lashley is out next, and his cell contains a table. Hardcore Holly and RVD are starting things off. RVD gets the best of the initial exchange before taking a clothesline. Holly throws RVD out onto the steel outside. RVD hits a head kick and goes up top. RVD leaps off but Holly evades, and RVD GRABS ONTO THE CHAMBER! RVD leaps off the chamber but Holly moves and RVD lands gut-first on the top rope. Holly slams RVD onto the steel! Holly throws RVD into the wall of the chamber. Holly slams RVD onto the steel gain. Holly goes up top. Holly leaps off but RVD boots him in the face. RVD rolls inside, and hits a SLINGSHOT ROLLING THUNDER TO THE OUTSIDE! RVD goes for a suplex on the steel, but Holly reverses and suplexes him into the ring! Holly covers for two. RVD hits a low dropkick. Holly sends RVD off the ropes and hits a dropkick for two.

The clock strikes zero, and CM Punk is in! Punk throws a chair into Holly’s face, then takes out RVD with a springboard clothesline! CM Punk throws a chair at RVD, but RVD catches it and throws it back into Punk’s face! RVD monkey flips Punk onto a chair. Punk ducks a Van Daminator and a leg sweep, then LEGDROPS RVD’S SKULL INTO THE CHAIR! Punk takes out Holly with a springboard dropkick off the second. RVD has been busted open. PUNK THROWS RVD INTO A CHAIR WEDGED BETWEEN THE SECOND AND TOP ROPE! Punk then kicks the chair into RVD’s face! Punk goes up top with Holly on the outside. Punk flies off the top looking for a headscissors, but Holly catches him. HOLLY SLINGS PUNK INTO THE CHAMBER WALL! Holly covers on the outside for two before throwing Punk back in the ring. Holly drops Punk with a sidewalk slam for two. Holly picks up Punk for a suplex but drops him stomach-first on the top rope. Holly follows up with a big boot. Holly stomps RVD then throws Punk back inside. Holly crotches Punk on the top rope. Holly goes up top. Holly hits a superplex on Punk! RVD covers Punk for two. Holly then covers Punk for two. The crowd chants for RVD. Punk reverses a whip from Holly and hits a running knee. He tries to follow up with a bulldog but he eats a kick from RVD instead.

Test enters the match-up and nails Punk in the ribs with a crowbar. He then grates RVD’s bloody face with the crowbar. Test chokes RVD with the crowbar. Test tries to go back to it, but Punk drops him throat-first on the top rope. RVD hits some clotheslines and a kick on Holly before grabbing a chair. RVD WAFFLES TEST WITH THE CHAIR! RVD then nails Holly with it. CHAIR ASSISTED BASEBALL SLIDE TO CM PUNK! RVD goes up top- FIVE STAR FROGSPLASH TO CM PUNK! RVD COVERS- ONE, TWO, THREE! CM Punk has been eliminated! Test gets to his feet. RUNNING BOOT TO HARDCORE HOLLY! ONE, TWO, No? The referee stopped counting, but then says Holly is eliminated. Weird. RVD soars off the top rope with a side kick to Test! RVD goes onto of Big Show’s chamber after flipping him off. Big Show grabs onto RVD’s leg, allowing Test to nail him with a chair twice! TEST THROWS RVD OFF OF THE POD! Test then climbs on top of Big Show’s chamber. CHAIR ASSISTED ELBOW DROP OFF OF THE CHAMBER! Test covers- ONE, TWO, THREE! Test is alone in the chamber. Test recovers while time ticks off the clock.

Bobby Lashley is the next man to enter! However, Heyman’s goons come out and seal Lashley in his chamber! Test taunts Lashley. Lashley uses the table to break open the top of the pod. LASHLEY ENTERS THROUGH THE TOP OF HIS CHAMBER! Test tries to go up top, but Lashley kicks him to the mat. FLYING CLOTHESLINE OFF THE TOP BY LASHLEY! Lashley comes in and pounds on Test. Lashley sends Test into a pod! Lashley then violently whips Test into the chamber. Test pounds away on Lashley. Test chokes Lashley with his boot. Test grabs a chair, but Lashley boots it into his face. Lashley hits a series of clotheslines. Lashley follows up with a suplex. Test swings with a chair but Lashley ducks and hits him in the gut with a crowbar. SPEAR! Lashley covers- ONE, TWO, THREE! There is still 1:12 left on the clock. Big Show gets down to one knee, and Heyman gives him a pep talk. Lashley throws a table to Big Show’s pod, and then a chair. Lashley grabs the chair to prepare for Big Show.

Big Show enters the match with his barbed wire bat. Lashley swings his bat, but Lashley blocks with the chair. Big Show follows Lashley to the outside. Lashley ducks a bat shot and it gets stuck in the chamber. Lashley hits Big Show in the gut with a chair! Lashley then sends Big Show into the chamber a few times. LASHLEY THROWS BIG SHOW THROUGH A GLASS CHAMBER! Big Show is busted open! Lashley punches Show’s wound a few times. Big Show tries to flee, but Lashley fights after him. Lashley charges, but BIG SHOW THROWS HIM INTO THE RING! Lashley clotheslines Lashley to the mat and raises his hand up. Big Show goozles Lashley. HE GOES FOR A CHOKESLAM, BUT LASHLEY COUNTERS OUT WITH A DDT! Lashley wins an exchange of punches, but Show shoves him into the corner. Big Show misses with a corner splash. Lashley leaps up for a body press, but Big Show catches him! Big Show gets Lashley up for a running powerslam, but Lashley slips out. SPEAR BY LASHLEY! ONE, TWO, THREE! Lashley survives the chamber and wins the ECW World Championship at 24:41!

Winner: Bobby Lashley
What this match lacked in star power, it made up for with cool spots and weaponry. They would have benefited from less downtime and having guys like Punk and RVD stay in longer, but it was still a solid main-event. 2 for 7.

After the match, Lashley celebrates with the title. Lashley poses on the ramp to an insane amount of pyro to close the show.

The 411: The opener was fantastic. However, it was then followed by a boring mid-card made up of uninteresting matches. The main-event was alright, but it could not save a boring show. The chants of TNA and fans demanding refunds were played up at the time, but it was really only a somewhat vocal minority. Most of these chants were barely audible. Events like this make me annoyed with myself for being a completist. Avoid this DVD, but hunt down the opener on youtube.

Final Score:  2.5   [ Very Bad ]