wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s WWE RAW Review 8.15.22
Image Credit: WWE
Loading...Daddy’s home! Sorry for my absence; I’m sure you all missed me! Truth is, I like to keep you guys on your toes. Cant have Tony every week for over ten years. Gotta keep this relationship strong and full of surprises! Then again, I could just be creating a level of abandonment issues for all of you.
Great, now I’m sad.
It’s Monday…you know what that means.
We start RAW with The Judgment Day all dressed in fabulous black and Undertaker purple.
Rhea has the mic first, says they own RAW. He proved to Dom that she is his papi as she destroyed his soul.
Finn talks about how much we all love The Mysterios, but he doesn’t get it. For everyone that loves them, he’s got some BAD NEWS BARRETT!!!! They will not be here, because Dom had his soul crushed last week, and as for Rey, he was destroyed by Finn in the middle of the ring.
Priest talks about what he’s going to do to Edge next week. He heard what Edge said last week; he doesn’t need Finn and Rhea. He doesn’t sweat Edge. He doesn’t need anyone. Next week, he will put the final nail in the coffin. Beth will be feeding him through a tube for the rest of his life.
Rey Mysterio comes out nowhere from behind, dropkicking Priest to the outside. Rhea is the only one left as he sends Finn to the outside, and she asks for a hit to the face. Rey circles te ring, here’s Finn with a chair! Another dropkick go Finn!!! Rey clocks Finn across the back. Rhea leaves the ring. Why? I don’t know. In comes Priest. A chair shot for him! Another! He runs to smack Finn, but Rhea slides back in to stop the hit. Rey turns to Priest, Rhea rips the chair from him. Big Boot to Rey from Priest. A kick to the chest. Rhea grabs Rey. DDT TO REY ONTO THE CHAIR! Priest attacks with mounted punches. Finn to the top rope. Priest sets a chair on the chest of Rey. Coup De Grace onto the chair, which looked more fun than painful; at least for Finn.
We return to RAW to find out that Lashley will be in action tonight against AJ Styles for the title.
ASUKA hits and her masks remind me of Three Ninjas. She’s wearing her best Colt mask as she makes her way to the ring to team with Bliss against Nikki and Piper.
After Bliss makes her entrance, however, the music of Belair hits and out comes our champion. Asuka dances along to the entrance as Bianca makes her way down ringside.
Match 1: Asuka and Alexa Bliss vs Nikki A.S.H. and Piper Niven
Nikki and Asuka to start. Nikki came down in a leather jacket; dropping the cape. She drives some forearms into Asuka’s face. Asuak whisp her int othe ropes, hits a knee, tags in Bliss. Bliss enters, they double shoulder tackle Nikki down then dropkick Piper. Nikki and Piper on the apron. Hip attack sends both heels off the apron.
We are back and ASuka is running wild! She shoves Piper off the apron, dropkick to Nikki, another one. Hip attack in the corner, waist lock, but Nikki elbows. Misses, Asuka with a flurry of strikes, most kind of sloppy. German with a bridge and a pin for 1..2..NO!!! Nikki crosses her arms across Asuka and drops her on the back, then covers for 1..2..NO!!! Nikki screams in agony and frustration. She pulls herself up, ssends Bliss off the apron, runs over to Asuka, whips into the corner, Piper in, whips Nikki into Asuka, Asuka sends her over the top rope, elbow to Piper, shoulder from Nikki. Crossbody of the top and a cover for 1..2…NO!!! Bliss in with a dropkick, but she gets crossbodied by Piper, flattening her.
Piper is the legal woman. She grabs Asuka, looks for a powerslam ,but Auak drops and hits a back fist. Hip attack to Nikki on the apron. Piper with a surprise Michinoku Driver! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Piper heads to the top rope! Tries for a splash, but Asuka moves! Asuka pulls herself up. High kick to the side of the face. Bliss with a tag. Running kick to Piuper. DDT TO PIPER! Tag to Asuka! Codebreaker!
Asuka with a submission! Bliss pulls Nikki off the apron and decks her in the face. Piper is all wrapped up! SHE TAPS! PIPER TAPS!
Winners: Asuka and Alexa Bliss
Still don’t buy Bliss and Asuka as a team, and I really wish they’d speed the eventual (hopeful) transition of Nikki from superhero to superscottie, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that this wasn’t too bad in-ring quality wise. Asuka did a bulk of the work, and she meshed well with Piper.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 9:00
After the match, Bianca, Bliss, and Asuka walk up the ramp, hands held high. From behind, Bailey and her peeps are standing in wait. They bicker, because even in H’s world, bitches be crazy.
Theory is backstage, says he’s still Mr. MitB, and the youngest US Champion ever, and the undisputed, hand-picked future of this business. He made a small miscalculation, but doesn’t make mistakes. He’s tougher, wiser, and more dangerous. Next time he has the chance to cash i—
Dolph is here! He says he’s been watching, Theory has been crushed out there! Brock, Roman, and he gets it. The contract Theory gots, he earned it, that’s why it mattered when he won the title.
Theory leaves that for him but he’s sure Dolph won’t be around when he does cash in. Dolph is nothing more than an over-the-hill has been. Theory tells him to pay attention, because when he wins the title, he will keep winning, and unlike Dolph, he wont screw up his career.
HEADBUTT FROM DOLPH!!! Damn, right to the chin. They tussle as we fade to black.
We come back and are informed that the two men continued to fight throughout the break, which is such a simple yet effective little extra nugget.
We have officials try to break the two up as they keep kicking at each other.
Commentary transitions to Lashley and his matchup with Ciampa last week.
Backstage, Ciampa is asked about his future. Ciampa says there are no participation awards here. He came to RAW to become a champion. The next opportunity, that’s what he will do.
Miz says the only reason Ciampa lost last week is because AJ interfered, and how to do we punish him? With a title shot tonight. COLLUSION!!!
Miz wants to award Ciampa a necklace with a trading card on it. Miz has the same one. They are AWESOME.
Ali and Alexander have a square promo that was too cheesy to take seriously.
Match 2: The Miz and Ciampa vs Cedric Alexander and Mustafa Ali
Ciampa and Ceddy to start. Side headlock from Ciampa, int a snapmare. He tries for a crossface, but Alexander grabs the wrist and gains control. Tight. Ciampa grabs the head from in front and flips Cedric, but Cedric gets another wiast lock from behind. Back elbow from Ciampa. Side headlock takedown. Tag to Ali, Cedric trips Ciampa down, spins him on his stomach, and Ali flips over the top rope with a senton. Tag to Cedric, and he hits his own senton. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Cedric with a chop to the chest. Whip is reversed, Ciampa drops down, gets kicked, distracts the ref, Miz grabs the hair, Cedric escapes, flips for a springboard, but while upside down, Ciampa dropkicks him in the face! Nice.
We come back to Cedric being covered for a 1..2.NO!!! Ciampa stops it! ALI FLIES FROM OUT OF NOWHERE INTO CIAMPA ON THE OUTSIDE!!!
Ciampa gets a surprise tag. Ali doesn’t know. ALI tries for a 450 on Miz, who is laid out. He is upside down1 DROPKICK TO THE FACE OF ALI!!! Fairy Tale Ending to Ali! Cover for 1..2…3!!!!!
Winners: The Miz and Ciampa
Cedric and Ali will have to rack up some wins IF they want this team to work, but for obvious reasons, not against Miz and Ciampa. I’m willing to see it play out.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 9:21
We are reminded of Kevin Owens cracking and murdering Ezekiel.
We get an odd photoshopped photo of Ezekiel in a hospital bed surrounded by Elias and other members, and a side video of Ezekiel’s Dad (Elias), saying this aint over.
Considering how often Triple H has dressed up himself, I can see this going further than we may want it to.
Drew McIntyre is here. He wants Washington to scream. He knows it’s a shock to see him here on RAW, but it might be even more shocking to see Roman on RAW. He says when he beats Roman, he will travel the world with it on his shoulder defending it because that’s what the title deserves and what the world deserves.
He knows there are rumors about his back, and they are true, but mostly because he’s been carrying the load of twenty men for three years in the WWE, and he does it with a smile. This isn’t a job, this is a damn dream. That’s why he’s here on his day off.
He lists some new names like Ciampa and Kross (Cross? Croxx?).
There’s one name he didn’t mention (there is several names he didn’t mention, actually), but Kevin Owens is here.
Drew likes this possibility, too.
Owens calls this convenient, how he comes out, THEN Drew says his name. Owens doesn’t understand why, as big and good as Drew is, he still comes out to pretend to be something he is not. He talks wit this big, loud voice. Carries a sword, wears a kilt – Does he think this is Medieval Times? He is delusional, because he has not been carrying anyone else’s weight.
Owens has been the same for 22 years. He is Kevin Owens, and he is as real as it gets in this business. It appears people like him may have forgotten what Owens is about. His fault, sorry, he’s been coming to work and having fun, but something dawned on him when he got here…Owens got goosebumps because at Battleground, Sami Zayn and he had the fight of their life and left it all in the ring. They gave people a match they still talk about. THEN he realized there’s a side of him that’s been missing for far too long. He misses the old Kevin Owens. He says after whoever wins between him and Roman, he’s coming for them.
Drew is tired of people making shit up just to get a reaction. Saying things like Drew not knowing who he is. Someone recently alled him the chosen one. He was the chosen one fifteen years ago. Then he got fired. Then he worked his ass off. He didn’t call WWE, they called him. He beat Brock, Goldberg, Randy, everyone, don’t dare look him in the eye and pull that BS again. Maybe it’s time to stop talking.
“We’re wrestlers in a wrestling ring. Let’s just freakin wrestle.”
Kevin Owens is down.
Holy cow.
Match 3: Kevin Owens vs Drew McIntyre
Match in progress. Owens sends Drew into the post in the corner, then runs in with a cannonball. Owens pulls Drew into the center of the ring and hits a senton, then up to the middle rope and hit a moonsault. Cover for 1..NO!!!! Forearm scrape from Owens. Drew sends Owens to the outside, hits the ropes, but Owens is back in the ring to stop him. He sends Drew to the apron, rushes the ropes, and Drew hits a right hand. He locks the head and wants to suplex Owens to the outside. He lifts, Owens holds onto the ropes, hangs up Drew. Sends him into the post head first. Owens to the apron. Frog splash off the apron onto Drew!!!
We are back and Owens has Drew center ring in a cravat. Drew escapes. Right hand from owens. Belly to belly. Another! A third! Drew kips up. Wants Future Shock, but Owens kicks, hits a DDT of his own. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Drew counters, covers…1….2…NO!!! Drew up to his knees, then to his feet. He grabs Owens, right hand to the face. Chop to the chest. He sits Owens on the top rope. Right hand to the dome. Drew climbs, locks the head, pulls up for a superplex, Owens crotches him!!! Drew falls back. Owens punches him into the Tree of Woe. BUT DREW PULLS HIMSELF UP AND GRABS THE HeAD! Headbutt from Owens! He hops down, hits the corner, running cannoball!!!!! Owens to the top rope! Frog Splash!!!!! DAMN THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Owens to the top rope!! SWANTON BOMB!! Cover! 1..2…..NO!!!! Crowd bit on that one! Owens is frustrated, this time moving slow, heads to the top rope. Drew is uP! Right hand to Owens! Gets Owens onto his shoulders! Drew with a WHITE NOISE!!!! Cover for 1..2…….NO!!!!! Drew counts! He wants Claymore! SUPERKICK FROM OWENS!!!! He goes for a Stunner, Drew hits a Glasgow Kiss instead! SUPERKICK AGAIN! CLOTHESLINE FROM DREW!!! Right hands back and forth from each men. They go at it in the center, over and over, tiring themselves out, knee from Owens, he sends Drew ot the ropes, pops up, Drew floats over, hooks under, FUTURE SHOCK!!!! Drew in the corner.
THE FUCKING USOS ARE HERE!!! They hold Drew’s foot! This causes a DQ!
Winner: Drew McIntyre via DQ
Holy shitfuck, that was amazeballs. The immediate reaction to the DQ finish is an eye-roll, sure, and I understand that, but I feel like Owens and McIntyre simultaneously left it all in the ring and still had a lot more to offer. Not sure if that makes sense, but I am both ok with the severity, immediacy, and bad-assery of what we just saw, and also ok with the reality that we can get more for a potential clean finish. That, coupled with the segment beforehand just….wow.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 13:49 shown
They enter the ring and attack Drew to MASSIVE BOOS! Superkick from Jimmy! Splash from Je—NO!!! Drew is up!!! He sends Jimmy to the outside, then Jey to the outside ONTO HIS BROTHER!! HAHAHAHA SICK!!!!
OWENS WITH A STUNNER TO DREW!!!!
Owens to The Usos: “Tell the Tribal Chief he owes me one.”
Usos roll bck into the ring, Drew is slow to rise, but does so, and….TURNS TO HIT A GLASGOW KISS TO JEY!!! CLAYMORE TO JIMMY!!!!
Seth is in rare form, wearing a shirt I’m actually jealous of.
He brings up Riddle immediately, telling him to go back to middle school and get an education. Maybe he can start a farm.
Riddle is on the tron, says he is glad Seth is out there. He has a medical update about his condition.
Riddle says that he is medically cleared and the next time he sees Seth, it’s on.
Riddle has a pretty blatant 420 on his shirt.
Seth wonders if it will be on like last time they were at the Garden, or like at Summerslam, because both times, he stomped Riddle’s head into this mat. Seth is always one step ahead. Two. Hell even three. He wishes Riddle was here right now so he could stomp those last few brain cells out of his stupid, stompable head.
Riddle is glad he feels that way, because he is NOT in his mom’s basement, he’s here in DC, and he’s on his way to the ring to kick Seth’s ass, BRO!
Riddle runs fast in flip flops, if you were ever curious. He slides into the ring, pauses, Seth tries to stomp, and Riddle stops, exits, then pulls Seth outside. They go at it, enter the ring, Riddle with some bodt kicks. Seth catches one, punches, Riddle ducks the punch, captures, and hits a suplex!!! Seth rolls to the outside! Riddle to the apron, but Seth trips him up and Riddle lands on the apron hard. Seth rolls him over the announce table then follows and attacks with right hands! Seth grabs Riddle by the head and attacks the neck. He asks Riddle how stupid is he. Rollins to the top of the table. Riddle awaits. Seth runs for a stomp, but Riddle hops up, hits a knee to the face of Seth! Seth falls into the crowd. Riddle hops over and chases Seth up the steps! He stops md way and takes in the love of the crowd.
A video package for Lashley vs AJ and the US Title.
Did you hear me? A fucking video package for a midcard match on RAW.
Amazing.
Backstage, Riddle is with Kevin Patrick. He wants Seth. Clash at the Castle. Be there.
Veer Mahaan is here. Why? TO KILL SOMEONE!
Match 4: Veer Mahaan vs Beaux Keller
Keller slips away from the offense a couple of times, then slides out for the ring with a smile. Veer follows, and Keller slides back in. Veer slides in and eats a dropkick. Veer grabs Keller by the head and sends him flying over the top rope. Deeyum. Another toss of Keller into the ring.
Veer with a HUGE splash in the corner. He hits the ropes, POUNCE! Huge clothesline. Cervical clutch.
Winner: Veer Mahaan
Squishy Squish Squash
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 1:49
Lashley is shadow boxing backstage while Pearce talks to security in the background.
I am informed that earlier, there was a segment where a garbage can fire was being put out.
Match 5: United States Championship
AJ Styles vs Bobby Lashley
AJ corners Lashley, but Lashley shoves him away WITH ONE HAND!!! He then clotheslines him down. Elbows in the corner to AJ. Lashley drops an elbow and covers for 1..NO!!! Aj with ights, Lashley kicks, hits the ropes, AJ hops over, under, dropkick to Lashley! AJ corners Lashley, Lashley lifts, body slam! Bobby sends AJ to the outside! AJ lands on his feet, Lashley follows, Aj enters the ring, baseball slide! He springboard over the top rope! Lands on the apron! Lashley sends AJ into —no!!! AJ hops down, shoves Lashley, he stops the offense, but Aj hops to the apron and hits a sliding knee to Lashley!
We are BACK and Lashley whips AJ INTO the bottom of the post back first! Lordy. AJ falls to the outside. Lashley sends AJ into the barricade, does so again. Lashley sends him into the barricade back first this time. Lashley breaks the count, then heads back in to send AJ into the ring. Lashley hits a kick in the corner. Another. Kick from AJ! AJ with some chops! He hits the ropes, gets caught in Lashley’s arm! SPINEBUSTER!!! Whip from Lashley, and AJ hits the post chest first. Damn bruh, he must be hurtin.
Miz and Ciampa are here to annoy us all.
Lashley whips AJ into the corner, chest first yet again1 Lashley drops some elbows to the back of the head, looks for a suplex, AJ knees Lashley’s head, Lashley drops him, kicks, suplex onto the ropes! AJ on the apron, Lashley hits the ropes, he smashes into aJ, sending him flying to the mat outside!
Ciampa gets on the apron as the ref starts the count. Meanwhile, Miz is near AJ. He grabs AJ by the hair, smiles to attack, but a man in a hoodie leaves the crowd looking to attack! SECURITY ATTACKS THE MAN AS COMMENTARY ACTS AS IF IT’S A CRAZED FAN AND WE GO TO BLACK! LUMIS IS RUNNNIN WILD!!!
We are BACK and AJ hits a forearm on Bobby! Cover for 1..2.NO!!! No mention of what just happened.
Bobby attacks with shoulders in the corner. AJ kicks away. He rushes the middle of the ring, Lashley catches him, gets him to the shoulders. Powerslam and a cover for 1..2..NO!!! Lashley sits AJ on the top rope. He locks up for a belly to belly but Aj slinks under neath and clips the knee. He gets Lashley in a torture rack, slams Lashley down sloppily! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! AJ calls for the clash, but Lashley back body drops him. Lashley up, drippin sweat. He grabs AJ ,flips him up on his back, and spins him down with a slam. Cover for 1..2….NO!!!! Lashley wants a spear, but AJ side steps! Rolls through. CALF CRUSHER!!!! LASHLEY ESCAPES AND ETS A HURT LOCK!!!! AJ turns him on his back! Pin for 1..2..NO!! Lashley breaks the hold. Aj up first, kicks the back of the leg.
AJ tries for the forearm, but Lashley moves, hits the ropes. SPEAR!!! Cover!!! 1..2…..3!!!
Winner: Bobby Lashley
Really love that the Miz and Ciampa interference had no bearing on the match, and that Lashley continues to be a dominant presence. I also love the amount of pain AJ took, because that boy got his ass kicked. Solid defense from two solid guys. Truly, what hurt this match the most was the commercial breaks. It slowed the momentum down.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 21:45
Theory is getting ready backstage for Dolph Ziggler.
Match 6: Dakota Kai vs Dana Brooke
Lockup from behind by Dana. Kai back elbows out and kicks the back of Dana. Cover for 1…2..NO!!! Kai corners Dana then bounces off the adjacent corner and runs with a kick to the head. Kai covers for 1..2.NO!!! Kai grabs the head as Bailey tells Wale to shut up. Dana kicks out of the corner. Back elbo to Kai. Dna with rights to the fac, short arm clothesline. Another. Dana sends Kai into the corner, Dakota takes the move hard, Dana back flips with an elbow.
She grabs the head, goes for a bulldog, but Kai shoots her into the buckle. Kai runs with a huge boot to the face! Cover for 1..2..3!!!
Winner: Dakota Kai
Establishing a pecking order.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:15
Match 7: Austin Theory vs Dolph Ziggler
Dolph in some camo pants! He shoots the leg quickly! Chinlock from behind! Thoery with some rights, but Ziggler gets a leg scissors and shoves Theory away. Theory with a HUGE fucking punch to the chin. Theory lifts Dolph, talks some shit to his face, then sends Dolph into the ringpost from inside the ring. Another toss of Dolph into the ringpost shoulder first. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! DDT from Dolph out of nowhere! Dolph with rights and lefts in the corner. He lifts Theory to the top rope and splits the legs. Dolph to the top. He locks the head and stands. Right from Theory, and Dolph drops to the mat. He flies back up. X-Factor off the top! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!
We are BACK and Theory has a headlock on Dolph. Dolph turns into the hold, hits a few elbows, right hand to the forehead. Antoher right. Dolph hits the ropes, but Theory is too quick and he sends Dolph into the ringpost AGAIN!!!! Theory on the apron. He dives through the ropes, spins into a dropkick! Cover for 1….2….NO!!! Theory sends Dolph into the post AGAIN! Holy shit lol. Theory tells Dolph he can do this all day. Theory locks the head, in the center of the ring, flips up, Dolph lands on his feet, uppercut to the chin. Kick out of the corner. Dolph side steps, hits the ropes, clothesline to Theory, another, he hops up in the corner and mounts for some punches over and over and over then pulls him down for a neckbreaker. Dolph with an elbow drop! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!!
Dolph awaits Theory to stand. Goes for a Superkick, Theory catches and spins olph. Elbow from Dolph. Dolph hops up t othe 2nd bukle but Theory punches the back! He gets the torture rack on Dolph then spins him into a powerbomb and a cover for 1..2…NO!!! Theory to the apron! He dives into the ring! FAMEASSER!!!! Cover! 1…2…NO!!!! Both men to their knees! Right hands and DOlph is getting some cheers! They go at it again but Theroy kicks the knee, then ets the upperhand. Dolph kicks then hits a headbutt! ZIG ZA—-NO!!!! HUGE FUCKING CLOTHESLINE DECAPITATES DOLPH!!!! Holy hell. A-Town Do—ZIGGLER ELBOWS OUT! Sunset flip! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Theory rolls forward into a 1..2..NO!!!! ZIG ZAG FROM DOLPH! Cover for 1…2…..NO!!!!! Both men are down.
Ziggler up in the corner! He stomps! Again! Again! Super—NO!!! Theroy rolls DOlph up! FEET ON THE ROPES! 1..2…..NO!!!!! Ref stops it!
Dolph rolls him up!!! 1..2..NO!!!! Dolph kicks the leg, hits the ropes, tries for a fameasser, Theory catches him! A-Town DOWN! Cover! 1….2…..3!!!
Winner: Austin Theory
THIS. Was. GREAT! Especially the final few moments! This was a star-making performance that, I hope, shows the naysayers that perhaps there is something to the push of Theory. This wasn’t forced, had a good story, and was just a great match. It was the main event for a reason. Theyre creating (and re-creating) new stars for us.
Total Rating: ***3/4
Match Time: 16:27
End Show
