Universal Wrestling Federation (9.26.1987) Review

-They appear to be doing a market-specific version of this show for New York because the show opens with another shot of Missy Hyatt, who is so, so, SO out of her element and awkward as a babyface/neutral host. It’s weird how tentative she suddenly sounds when she speaks in this role.

-Originally aired September 26, 1987.

-Your hosts are Jim Ross, action sports, and Magnum TA, action weather, in the news studio again.

-DUSTY RHODES IS ON THE SHOW THIS WEEK!

IVAN KOLOFF (with Paul Jones) vs. ROCKY KING
-From NWA syndicated TV. Ivan shoulderblocks Rocky. Rocky tries a monkey flip off the ropes, but Ivan just hooks both of his legs and stomps him. Big boot and a toss to the floor. There’s a weird echo effect that sounds like they’re actually watching this match in the studio, but also they’re feeding the audio directly to the viewer, and we’re hearing both.

-Legdrop by Ivan gets two. Rocky mounts a comeback and we get an awkward moment as Rocky actually stops in mid-move like he’s surprised that Ivan is letting him do two moves in a row, and the commentators even call that out. Sickle finishes it.

-Skandar Akbar is at the news desk to announce that he negotiated a deal with John Ayers to buy all of the unsigned contracts for the title matches that Ayers had on his desk. So, uh, that’s how wrestling works.

-A Gabbo Rhodes highlight reel.

DUSTY RHODES vs. COLT STEELE
-From NWA Pro. When your parents name you Colt Steele, it’s either do a job to Dusty Rhodes or get a job from Nina Hartley. No third option.

-Dusty wobbles in such a way that his hands happen to make contact with Colt, and then the Weaverlock puts him away, as Johnny Weaver nods approvingly. Johnny gets some words with Dusty after the match, who marvels that the Weaverlock is such a dane-jis hold.

ARN ANDERSON & TULLY BLANCHARD (with JJ Dillon) vs. DENNY BROWN & ITALIAN STALLION
-The Horsemen go to work on Denny’s arm. Stallion tags in and the Horsemen switch to the leg. That’s pretty much all there is to say about the match, as the Horsemen stay laser-focused on the leg. Tully goads Denny into coming into the ring while Arn throws the Stallion to the floor just to be a dick. Tully wraps this one up with the slingshot suplex.

-And now, 23 minutes into the show, we see UWF wrestling, with the Jive Tones demanding the Tag Team Titles TODAY! And it’s a middle finger to the UWF guys, as they just cut off the promo with Tiger in mid-sentence.

STING & CHRIS ADAMS vs. EDDIE GILBERT & TERRY TAYLOR
-We’re joined in progress, of course, because nobody actually wants to watch UWF on the UWF show. We pick up with Sting looking right at the camera and smirking as he has a side headlock clamped on Eddie. They criss-cross and Eddie misses an elbow. Sting takes a shot at Terry on the apron, tricking him into arguing with the referee while Chris Adams helps with some double-teaming. Chris Adams then drags Eddie over to the heel corner and yanks Eddie’s arm toward Terry, but Terry won’t tag in! What is he, chicken?

-So Eddie eventually gets the advantage back and wears down Adams, and NOW Terry wants in, so he takes a few shots, but Adams lands on his feet after an attempted backdrop, and he meets Terry with a Thesz press. Sting and Adams beat up on their opponents as we pause for a break!

-We’re back with Eddie and Chris colliding on a shoulderblock and they’re both out. Terry tags in first and tries to block the hot tag by grabbing Chris’ foot, but Chris turns it into an enziguiri with his free foot, tag, donnybrook. Sting beats on his chest before a Stinger splash, and I think that’s the first time he’s done that. Rick Steiner runs in to stop Sting from getting the winning pin and we get a post-match brawl.

-After the match, Sting declares that the First Family is the Puffette Brigade, because Gary Young is a powder puff and Eddie Gilbert is a hot puff, and Sting is going to eat the lunch of the Puffs. Chris Adams and Shane Douglas pledge their allegiance to the Stinger.

-Ric Flair video. It’s an impressive victory, but they played it so much on this show and the other shows that I’m wondering if Jim Crockett paid $250,000 to the editors and then had to play the hell out of it to amortize the cost.

NWA TV TITLE: NIKITA KOLOFF (Champion) vs. VERNON DEATON
-All right, enough of that UWF horse shit, here’s what you really came for–a recycled match from World Wide.

-Koloff knocks around Deaton while guest commentator JJ Dillon calls attention to what bullshit it is that Deaton is challenging. Yes, but that’s true of every promotion’s TV Title. Sickle finishes in seconds.

-Missy interviews Eddie and Terry again. This is clearly supposed to be her version of Piper’s Pit and it’s a bit of a joke when it’s the same two guests two weeks in a row. And they’re doing the weird WWF thing where there’s no mention at all that Eddie and Missy have a past.

BARRY WINDHAM vs. ARN ANDERSON
-This is introduced as a UWF match, but the very first words we hear from commentator David Crockett are “Here on the Superstation…”

-Arn works the arm in classic Anderson fashion. Barry fights out and connects with uppercuts. We take time out for a promo from the Lightning Express because they still do that on this show.

-Back from the commercial break, Barry has Arn trapped in the sleeper and David Crockett wonders if Johnny Weaver taught this to Barry, too. Arn breaks out and they collide off the ropes as we get a time limit warning. Arn revives and suplexes Barry. He heads to the top rope, but Barry meets him up there to hit the superplex, but they land too close to the ropes and Arn survives. Clothesline by Barry, but the bell sounds before he can make the cover.

-We finish up with a preview of next week’s show, and AGAIN, Missy Hyatt suddenly looks and sounds like she has never been in front of a TV camera in her life. It’s so weird.

3.9

The final score: review Bad

The 411

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