411’s ROH on HDNet Report (09.18.09): Episode XXV – Briscoes vs. Steen & Generico

Mike Hogewood and Dave Prazak are here to open the show. The “BIG NEWS” for all five ROH fans that only watch the TV show is that Bryan Danielson has signed with World Wrestling Entertainment. They plug his final appearances and thank him for his contributions.

The Dark City Fight Club vs. The Young Bucks
Loud “Young Bucks” chant, and no Code of Honor from the DCFC. Nick Jackson starts with Jon Davis and Davis shoves him away. Cool spot where Nick goes for an armdrag but can’t because of the size difference. He does hit a dropkick but it’s about as effective. Jon shoves him, and Nick shoves back. He ducks a clothesline and Matt gets a forearm from the apron, Nick tries a crossbody, and Davis hits a powerslam for two. Chavis tags in and whips Nick to the ropes, Matt gets a blind tag, Nick kicks Chavis and Matt tries a missile dropkick but gets swatted away. Matt ducks a clothesline and wrings Chavis’ injured arm, tags out to Nick who hits a double axe handle to the arm, he tags back out and Matt hits a moonsault onto the arm. That was cool. Matt tags in Nick who hits a double stomp to the arm, and then hits the corner mounted punches. Matt tags back in and they do a double arm wringer, but Chavis reverses a double Irish Whip with a shoulder block. The Bucks hit the ropes and run into a double clothesline.

Chavis hits a flurry of right hands on Matt, tags in Davis, and the DCFC hit a Hart Attack variant where Davis hits a leaping legdrop. Matt kicks out of that and actually trades forearms with Davis. He WINS and ducks a clothesline to get a schoolboy for two! Davis hits a clothesline and tags in Chavis. Matt hits some forearms and Chavis but eats a knee lift. Davis is back in and he stretches out Matt with a backbreaker. Matt fights buck, dodging and hitting forearms. He goes to tag in Nick but Davis takes a cheap shot to prevent the tag from happening. Matt hits an elbow out of the corner, clocks Chavis, and hits a springboard blockbuster on Davis. Nick gets the hot tag and ducks a clothesline from Davis before hitting a springboard dropkick on Chavis. Nick counters an Irish Whip with an elbow and gets a one count on Davis off a springboard crossbody.

Nick hits a kick to the face when Davis telegraphs a back body drop, and Matt comes in to toss Nick into a dropkick. Matt follows with a spear and the Young Bucks hit the springboard frog splash/standing moonsault combo. I love them. Chavis breaks up the pin and throws Matt outside. Nick hits a dropkick on Chavis, POUNCE BY DAVIS! Chavis tags in and the DCFC power Nick into the corner, Davis whips Chavis into a corner clothesline, and then hit a tilt-a-whirl into a double-team cutter. Matt breaks up the cover and fights off Davis, and then goes after Chavis with chops. Chavis reverses a whip and charges into the corner, Matt jumps over him and Nick hits a superkick. They go for More Bang For Your Buck but Davis takes out Nick and Chavis counters the Finlay Roll. He shoves Matt but Matt dropkicks Davis! Chavis hits Matt with a blue thunder bossman slam, but Nick hits a sunset flip, jackknife pin, and THE YOUNG BUCKS WIN!

Match Analysis:
Shawn Michaels used to say he loved wrestling Diesel because of the size difference: the story was already there. That’s what this was, but we got some hard work from both teams. The Young Bucks are a joy to watch and the DCFC is also, for a totally different reason. I gotta hand it to ROH for how the handle injuries: The Bucks went after Chavis’ injury and Chavis took the pinfall, and what has to be a huge upset. ***

Our main event is also a tag team match, featuring The Briscoe Brothers versus Kevin Steen and El Generico.Jay Briscoe says the two teams bring out the best in each other, but Mark Briscoe says the win-loss record shows who the better team is.

Prince Nana and Ernie Osiris are out here with Sal Rinauro. Nana feels sorry for Sal, because the fat slobs on their stinkin’ couches will finally see the manslaughter he’s been promising for weeks.

Bison Smith vs. Sal Rinauro
Sal is worried, and we conveniently switch cameras at the “Oh…” Bison is in and kicks Sal. Sal ducks a clothesline and SLAPS BISON SMITH! He tries a rana and gets powerbombed into the buckles. Bison hits a chokeslam/uranage (couldn’t tell) and covers, but decides he doesn’t want three yet. Smith hits a military press into the buckles. Sal goes outside and Bison tosses him into the rail and into the steps. He dives out onto him. SLAP THE PORPOISE! Bison tosses Sal back inside and covers him with one boot for three. Sal was only 27.

Match Analysis:
MANSLAUGHTER! 1/2*

Rinauro sneaks under the ring. Nana says that this is what happens when you mess with The Embassy, and if Bison can’t get the job done, he has his hired gun Joey Ryan. Oh wow, he looks even more like a porn star than ROH World Champion Austin Aries. You can follow Joey on Twitter, but you might get herpes. Nana issues an open challenge which leads to…

Colt Cabana vs. Joey Ryan
Colt starts this out with punches for Ryan and tosses him outside. And again. Ryan charges, Cabana sidesteps, and Joey falls outside. You can also follow Colt Cabana on Twitter. Colt grabs a foot and paintbrushes Ryan, and then goes in circles until Joey lands on his ass. Colt does some holds, jumps over Joey, rolls back and kicks him in the face. Ryan dodges a corner charge but misses a clotheslines and trips over Cabana, who cartwheels. Ryan catches a boot out of the corner, so Colt slow…ly uses his other leg to get back on the ground and gets a sunset flip for two. Cabana gets a headlock, switches to a hammerlock and spanks Joey. No comment.

Nana trips up Cabana and Ryan gets a dropkick. He shoves Colt into the ropes and goes after the arm and gets a keylock. He backs Cabana into the corner and feels himself up. The testosterone level in this one is not high. Ryan catches another corner kick but this time Cabana hits the axe kick to the noggin. Cabana avoids an O’Connor roll and hits a quebrada for a two count. Colt hits a few jabs but Ryan prevents the bionic elbow and wrings the arm again. He kind of hits a few knees to the arm and applies an armbar. He gets a hammerlock in the ropes and tries a double axe handle to the arm, but Cabana moves and hits a gut punch.

Cabana hits a series of jabs and a big wind-up punch. He whips Ryan to the corner and hits the Flying Asshole. He goes for the lariat but Joey hits a superkick for two. Ryan sets up Cabana for “The Moustache Ride” (whatever that is) but Cabana tosses him off and then hits a boot on Nana. Cabana leaps over Ryan, Ryan grabs a waistlock, Cabana gets the legs, and gets the Billy Goat’s Curse for the submission.

Match Analysis:
This was your typical Colt Cabana match: a lot of comedy and his big spots. Ryan didn’t do too much to impress me, but then, he was there to look like a goof. It doesn’t help that his gimmick is used by Rhett Titus and the ROH Champion. *1/4

Sal is out from under the ring and Colt accidentally hits him with an elbow. Oh how the mighty have…oh how the average have fallen.

Steen says the Briscoes are the toughest guys he’s been in the ring with. He’s not sure if Generico ever has a strategy, but he just tries to hit hard.

We see last week’s main event, where Tyler Black lost to Jerry Lynn (thanks to some help from Nigel McGuinness) and we will have a special interview with Black next week.

Nana is here and says that Colt ruined a night that was supposed to be special for the Embassy, so anyone who hangs out with Cabana is an enemy.

Next week, Necro Butcher wrestles Jimmy Rave.

Nigel is in the crowd, and he says that he understands how we can sit there in the dark area and make our disrespectful comments while the wrestlers physically disable themselves for our sick entertainment. He says he doesn’t understand why the wrestlers care, because he’s stopped caring. This begs the question of who is in control: the fans or the wrestlers? He says that after fifteen months of suffering as ROH Champion and pandering to the fans, he wants to know who to blame. Does he blame the wrestlers who tried to injure him, or the fans who encouraged them? He blames all of us. And while he can’t slap us in the face, he can get in the ring and risk injury. So, does he take his ball and go home? Nope. If he’s going down, everyone is going down with him. If he gets hurt, his opponent will be hurt worse. If he gets injured, they’ll leave on a stretcher. The time for catchphrases is over, and don’t say he didn’t warn you.

THAT. WAS. AWESOME!

Next week, Austin Aries defends his title via “Lucky Lottery”, i.e. “Wrestlers From a Hat”. Too bad it won’t be Fredzilla. Aries is here to describe the process, and he’s narrowed it down to his two favorites hats…I can’t describe how awesome these hats are.

Next week, KENTA teams with Roderick Strong and Bryan Danielson to take on Chris Hero and The American Wolves, the ROH World Tag Team Champions. Yeah buddy.

We get a look at last week’s postmatch brawl between the Briscoes, Wolves, and Steenerico.

Kevin Steen & El Generico vs. Jay & Mark Briscoe
Mark and Steen start things out with a shoving contest and Steen grabs a headlock and then bulls over him with a shoulder block. We get a leapfrog sequence and Mark hits a gut punch, leaps over Steen and hits a spinning wheel kick. Generico tags in, jumps into the ring and taunts, but Mark is having none of it and hits a kick to the gut. They do a leapfrog sequence to a stalemate until Generico schools Mark with a series of armdrags. Jay tags in, fakes a Greco-Roman Knucklelock and hits a boot to the gut, and follows with a stiff chop and a back elbow. Steen tags back in and they trade shoves, shoulder blocks and slaps. Kevin blows snot on Jay and Jay spits on Kevin. Steen wins a forearm exchange but Jay hits a dropkick. He wins another strike war and whips Kevin to the corner and hits a corner clothesline, and then hits a snap mare before hitting a running boot for a two count. Mark tags in and controls Kevin with corner thrusts but Steen counters a vertical suplex with his own. Steen grabs a front facelock and Generico tags in. Generico and Mark trade strikes and Jay is back in and the Briscoes hit a double football tackle and Jay covers for two.

Jay hits a snap suplex for two and Generico backs up and tags Steen in. Kevin telegraphs a back body drop and gets kicked, but he rolls under a clothesline and DDTs Jay for two. Mark tried to break up the cover and gets a snot rocket in his direction. He tells Generico to put the boot up and slams Jay’s face on the boot. Generico is in and he gets two off a scoop slam. Steenerico work in the drop toehold/somersault legdrop combo, Generico takes out Mark and Steen covers for two. Generico tags back in and stays on top of things with strikes. He whips Jay into the corner but runs into a back elbow, and Jay hits the reverse STO into the middle turnbuckle. Jay makes the tag and Mark busts out some Redneck Fu and an Alabama Slam. Steen comes in and Mark hits the leg lariat to the back of the neck. He runs into a boot and Generico tosses him to the apron. Generico dives onto Jay and Mark dives onto Steen!

Generico and Mark go back into the ring and stare each other down. Mark wins a forearm battle but runs into Generico’s modified Michinoku Driver. Generico gets two and goes for the corner Yakuza Kick, but runs into a superkick. Both men make tags and Jay and Steen trade forearms and elbows. LOTS of forearms and elbows. Jay wins with punches and stomps a mudhole. He does the facewash but Generico hits the Yakuza Kick when he goes to the other corner! SIDE EXPLODER BY MARK! POWERBOMB BY STEEN! All four men are down! Steen and Jay are up and trade punches, but Steen hits the Codebreaker! He heads up top, but the Swanton Bomb eats knees! Steen tags out but Generico runs into a forearm. Generico tosses Jay to the apron but Mark hits a clothesline and a cutter, Jay lifts up Steen, DEATH VALLEY DRIVER ON THE APRON!

The Briscoes pick up Generico and hit the crucifix bomb/neckbreaker combination, but Generico kicks out at two! They set up for the Springboard Doomsday Device, but Steen grabs Mark, VICTORY ROLL BY GENERICO! ONE…TWO…THR-NO! Generico grabs Jay, and hits an Exploder into the buckles! Steen is in, CANNONBALL! Generico is up top, SOMORSAULT COAST TO COAST DROPKICK BY GENERICO! They set up for the Assembly Line, BUT THE AMERICAN WOLVES ARE OUT! BULLSHIT!

Match Analysis:
Please excuse my language, but that pissed me off. I was enjoying that. These two teams really do bring out the best in one another, and the whole match was great. This really showed the evolution of Steen and Generico, who used to be underdogs to the Briscoes and now are equals. The last five minutes made me mark out, and while the finish makes sense from a booking standpoint, I’m not happy. ***1/2

The babyfaces beat up on the Wolves. Steen gets on the mic, says that while he enjoys kicking the Briscoes asses, they have a problem with the Wolves that has gone on long enough. They ruined a darn good match (amen!) and Steen reminds the Wolves that they earned a tag title shot, wherever, whenever, and with whatever stipulation. You can drive to New York on September 26th, for LADDER WAR II!