411’s WWE Bad Blood Report 06.15.03

411’s WWE Bad Blood Report 06.15.03
LIVE From Houston, Texas
Exclusive 411 Report by Pankonin

-Opening Videos & Pyro as J.R. and The King welcome us to Bad Blood.

Dudley Boyz vs. Rodney Mack & Chris Nowinski
Earlier in the night on Heat, the Theodore Long stable approached D-Von about joining them, saying that his “white brother” is holding him down. D-Von looks pissed as they walk away. The match itself starts out fairly even, with Long attempting to provide enough distraction for a double team, which fails miserably and results in both Mack and Nowinski as victims of a big splash in the corner by Bubba. The Dudleys remain in control until Mack trips D-Von and does the nut shot into the ringpost, allowing for the heels to take firm control for the first time. The heels take turns working over D-Von until Nowinski misses with an elbow drop off the top rope, allowing D-Von enough time to make the hot tag to Bubba, who hits a sidewalk slam on Nowinski for a two count. D-Von and Mack fight on the outside, while Bubba and Nowinski duke it out in the ring. Nowinski tries to use his mask as a weapon, but misses and gets flung over the top rope. Mack tries to lock in the “blackout” from behind, but Bubba escapes and Mack falls victim to the “Whassup” drop. Bubba tells D-Von to get the tables, but Long gets on the apron and points out his being held down by the white man. D-Von hesitates, allowing Mack and Nowinski enough time to punk D-Von from behind while Nowinski nails Bubba over the back of the head with his mask allowing for a cheap pinfall victory.

Winners: Christopher Nowinski & Rodney Mack

-Video package is shown leading up to the Redneck triathlon.

Redneck Triathlon: Burping Contest
Austin is doing jumping jacks to prepare for this intense contest. Bischoff goes first and lets out a weak one. Austin’s is better. Bischoff’s second one is even better than the other two. Austin’s next attempt is a “wet one”, Bischoff says he can beat it, and lets out another hideous hell of a burp. Austin gives him credit for that one. Austin’s final one is pathetically fake, and lasts around 10 seconds. Of course, the fake one takes the cake, allowing Austin to win round one of the contest. Austin is honored to win the prestigious contest, Bischoff advises Austin to see a doctor.

Winner: Stone Cold Steve Austin

Test vs. Scott Steiner
This beauty of a match starts off with a dandy. Test and Stacy are arguing outside the ring, Steiner attempts to dive off the ring and land on Test, but misses by about a foot! That goes down in the Scott Steiner Lowlight Hall of Fame, and that says a lot! Test flings Steiner into the ring steps, all while taunting Stacy. Test continues to dominate while Stacy leads the crowd in a “You Suck” chant. Test applies a fierce SLEEPER HOLD for a few minutes, Steiner attempts to power out but Test knocks him back down to the mat. Test attempts an double axe-handle drop off the top rope, but lands right into a Steiner belly-to-belly to finally even up the match. Steiner is up first and hits a series of clotheslines, followed by a Lou drop blocked into a splash. Steiner finishes his rally with a ten-count fists of fury on the ropes. Steiner remains in control until Test counters a whip into a quick Pumphandle Slam for a two-count. Test begins to untie a turnbuckle, but Stacy tries to stop him with a slap, while Steiner has recovered and nearly accidentally hits Stacy, but as a true gentleman he stops. Test hits the big boot but only for two. Steiner quickly recovers and hits something weak for a quick finish for an anticlimactic win. Stacy acts as if she’s one a million bucks, win in actuality all she has won is Scott Steiner. As good as you probably expected.

Winner: Scott Steiner

-Backstage, Bischoff admits defeat in the burping contest, but tells Austin he’s going to win the pie eating contest. Bischoff says he’s done some research and introduces Austin to four hot models. Austin tells him he does a good job, and Bischoff asks to go first. Austin says that since he’s in his home state he should go first. Bischoff insists he wants to go first, and Austin decides that is ok, as long as Austin gets to select Bischoff’s “pie”. Bischoff says they have a deal as they shake hands.

Christian vs. Booker T
Intercontinental Title
Christian has new theme music and entrance video, the opera is now officially dead. The match starts out very evenly, with both men exchanging basic hip-tosses and arm-drags. Booker hits a spinebuster for a two count for the first pin attempt of the match. Christian bails to the outside and tosses Booker into the ring steps, giving the champion his first advantage of the match. Christian retains control of the ring with a sleeper hold as the crowd chants for Booker T. Booker blocks a Christian attack with a flapjack which evens up the match as both guys are down for the double ten count. Both guys get up at the same time and exchange punches, with Booker getting the best of the exchange finishing with a sidewalk slam for a two count. Booker hits a reverse kick for two continuing his momentum. Booker continues to dominate until Christian reverses a rollup, using the ropes but only manages a two count. Christian almost immediate tries another and still only gets two. Booker now tries for an inside cradle and he also only gets a two count. Booker goes over the ropes and hits a scissors kick into the ropes knocking Christian down. Booker goes upstairs and hits a missile dropkick and gets another two count. Christian gets up and gets knocked right back down with the side kick. This gives Booker enough time to do a Houston Spinaroonie! Booker looks to finish Christian off, but the champion bails, grabbing his belt and runs to the outside. Christian is headed to the back, and the referee grabs the mic and tells him that he must return to the ring or not only will he forfeit the match but the title! Christian runs back into the ring and nails Booker over the head with the IC title, intentionally trying to get himself disqualified, and it apparently works, another anticlimactic finish as the crowd is PISSED.

Winner: Booker T (DQ)

-The King is in the ring after a Raw events promo, announcing that round two of the Redneck Triathlon will happen in the actual ring. King brings out Bischoff and Austin separately.

Redneck Triathlon: Pie Eating
Long rant short, Austin picks to nobody’s surprise Mae Young. Bischoff moans and complains as Mae struts her way down to the ring. “Put that tongue back in your mouth you nasty old hag!” says the Bisch. Bischoff says there is no way he is doing that, as Austin taunts him as a quitter. Just as Lawler begins to announce Austin as the winner, Bischoff stops him, and kisses Mae Young. THAT’S what they call “Pie Eating”. Oh wait, a bronco buster. Fan-tastic. Of course, I’m home for Father’s Day, and my dad who hates wrestling walks in as Mae Young is stripping. I’m going to be turning into Scott Keith any second the way this PPV is going.

-La Rez speaks some French backstage, dissing on George W. and America as usual.

Kane/RVD vs. La Resistance
I forgot to mention after my disgust of the “pie eating fiasco” that Austin forfeited the contest, allowing Bischoff to win and tie the series at one apiece. RVD dominates the Frenches in the early going and in between has some discussion with Kane. Grenier provides some double-team, finally giving La Rez their first advantage of the night. Dupree tags Sylvan into the match as the heels continue the RVD beatdown. Big “USA” chant from the crowd. RVD eventually makes a hot tag to Kane, who cleans house on both La Rezers. Kane tags in RVD, who does a top rope kick as the champions continue to dominate the challengers. Both Grenier and Dupree get flipped to the outside, allowing RVD to fly over the top rope, but the French team moves and RVD hits Kane on accident! La Rez get Kane into the ring and hit a double flapjack, cover and we have NEW Tag champs in ANOTHER anti-climatic finish.

Winner: La Resistance

Chris Jericho vs. Goldberg
Jericho tries running around, but Goldberg catches him and proceeds to beat the shit out of him. Several gorilla presses, with the final one throwing Jericho completely out of the ring. Goldberg goes for a spear outside, but Jericho dodges it and Goldberg goes completely through the restraining wall. The referee checks on Goldberg, and Jericho regroups enough to work over Goldberg! Jericho leads the offense for a couple minutes, including a modified DDT and an arm submission. Goldberg lands a kick to the gut, but both guys are down and out. Both guys get up at the same time, but Goldberg lands a decent kick to knock Jericho back down. Goldberg flings Jericho into the ropes, but Jericho blocks and gets a single-arm takedown! Both Jericho and Goldberg are wobbly, but Jericho is the first to recover hitting the bulldog and lionsault! Cover by Jericho but only manages a two and a half plus. Jericho goes for another lionsault, but Goldberg blocks it into a suplex. Goldberg sets up for the spear and connects! A small but steady Goldberg Sucks chant goes through the whole match. Jericho lands a low blow and now the crowd is LOUDLY chanting Y2J! Jericho locks in the Walls as Goldberg scrambles for the ropes. Goldberg escapes, Spear, Jackhammer, and just like that it is over. No, I didn’t cut corners, that is how it ends.

Winner: Goldberg

-After the match, Goldberg exchanges smack with a fan holding a Jerichoholic sign.

-A PIG FREAKING PEN is set up in the arena. Shades of HHH/Henry Godwinn? Maybe they changed the Hell in a Cell to a Slop match. We go backstage where it is time to determine the deciding match of the Redneck Triathlon. It is going to be a singing contest. B-e-a-utiful.

Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair
Huge ovation for Michaels, who dusted off the Texas tights he wore at the Royal Rumble in ’97. Shoving match to start with Michaels clotheslining Flair over the top rope and following with an over the top rope splash. Flair recovers and does the trademark whooo chops, followed by Michaels exchanging the favor with chops of his own. Flair actually takes the first noticeable advantage of the match, working over one of Michaels’s legs with a series of chops and submissions, including the figure four. Michaels recovers and goes for the sweet chin music, but Flair blocks it, however Michaels knocks Flair down and locks in a figure four of his own! Flair escapes, and both guys attempt rollups while grabbing the tights, neither works as both guys only get two counts. Michaels hits a superplex on Flair, then goes outside, under the ring and gets a table, setting it up outside the ring. Flair tries to superplex Michaels from the ring to the table, but Michaels blocks it and sets Flair up on the table. Randy Orton runs in out of nowhere and runs right into a Michaels superkick. Michaels gets back in the ring and goes upstairs, reversing in mid-air and landing a perfect body splash onto Flair on the table! Michaels throws a moaning Flair back into the ring. Flair is in the corner, and Michaels goes over to work him over, but Flair hits low blow mule kick that actually nails BOTH Michaels AND the referee, that is a first. Michaels recovers quickly with a kip up and goes upstairs, landing the flying elbow drop. The referee is still out from the mule kick as Michaels tunes up the Sweet Chin Music and connects! Almost immediately after the kick Randy Orton comes in out of nowhere and pastes Michaels with a chair, draping Flair over the downed Michaels. The groggy ref recovers and does the three count as Flair gets the win. A MULE KICK to the nuts makes a referee unconscious for two minutes?

Winner: Ric Flair

Singing Contest
Bischoff tries to lip sync to his own music, but Austin calls him on it. Austin says since neither of them can sing they should re-spin the wheel, and Austin spins it, but stops it on the pig pen. Austin comes out and just beats the shit out of Bischoff, which really has nothing to do with a pig pen. Austin drags Bischoff’s carcass up the ramp and chucks him into the pig pen, apparently giving Austin the win.

Winner: Stone Cold
Triple H vs. Kevin Nash
World Heavyweight Title
Special Ref Mick Foley

Trip and Mick exchange words before Hunter nails Nash with a kick to the gut to start the match. Both guys exchange blows pretty equally in the early going with your garden variety of clotheslines and fists to the face. The match spills to the outside as Nash introduces Hunter’s face to the cage wire several times over before throwing him back into the ring. Nash hits a sidewalk slam followed by the first pin attempt of the night which was a two count. Nash hits a lateral press and another two count. Nash grabs a chair and proceeds to whack the shizzle out of Triple H, who rolls to the outside. Nash chases after and slams Hunter into the corner of the cell over and over, followed by a whip into the “steel” steps. Nash grabs the steps and stalks Hunter with them, throwing them at The Game, who dodges out of the way as the steps crash into the cell and back at the ring! The miss seemingly ignites Hunter, who lands his first offense in a long time. Nash actually goes for the Jacknife out of nowhere, but H powers out and nails the big guy with several shots to the face. With Nash down, Triple H finds a TOOLBOX, and searches for something. Nash recovers and goes after the hunting champion, who finds a hammer and whacks Nash over the “recovering” quad of Nash. Hunter gets back in the ring and shoves Foley, who shoves back and knocks The Game flat on his ass. The crowd finally comes alive, albeit temporarily as Foley berates Triple H. Nash is still groggy as Hunter gets out of the ring and does the “cheese grater effect” with Nash onto the cell wall. Triple H continues to dominate and whip Nash all over the cell. Back into the ring, the beatdown continues as Triple H had found a screwdriver in the toolbox as well, and grinds it into Nash’s forehead. Triple H goes under the ring and finds a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire! Triple H nails Nash in the gut, who is bleeding and groggy as hell. Trip goes to the attack again, but Nash nails a fist to the face, causing Hunter to drop the 2×4. Nash is able to pick up the piece of lumber wrapped in wire and nails HHH directly over the head with the object, finally busting the champ wide open. Nash finally has taken an advantage in the match, hitting some clothelines, whips, and closing with the snake eyes. Triple H is out cold as Nash tries to catch his breath. Nash slowly crawls over for the cover and gets a two count. Triple H slides to the outside and finds a crate under the ring, Nash goes to grab Hunter, but Trip whacks him with the wooden crate over the head, knocking Nash out in the ring. Trip goes back underneath the ring and finds his trademark sledgehammer. Foley tries to grab the sledgehammer, but Triple H smashes him with a forearm, knocking the special ref to the mat. Trip grabs the steel steps, but Nash executes a DROP TOE HOLD, which trips HHH and causes him to land face first into his own weapon! Both guys are down, Trip is the first to recover and pastes both Nash AND Foley with a steel chair. Foley is bleeding, which causes him to bring out MR.SOCKO!! Mandible claw on Triple H! Trip begins to fade, but manages to land a kick to Foley’s nuts to break the hold. Triple H goes to attack Foley, while Nash grabs the steel steps and accidentally knocks both Foley AND The Game out. Nash covers with Trip completely out, but Foley hasn’t recovered enough. Nash goes to check on Foley, but Triple H bumps Nash into Mick, knocking the referee to the outside. Triple H goes for the pedigree, but Nash bumps Trip into the 2×4 set up on the ring post! Jacknife from Nash, Foley slowly comes into the ring, but not enough as Nash only gets a 2 15/16th count. All three guys are out cold. Nash is the first up, who stops HHH from his slow crawl to the sledgehammer. As Nash begins to pull Trip away, HHH nails a sledgehammer shot. HHH hits the pedigree and goes for the cover. Foley slowly crawls over and makes the three count. Triple H retains again. Surprisingly the BEST MATCH OF THE NIGHT.

Winner: Triple H

-Evolution comes out to celebrate as the show ends at 9:32 CDT, the earliest end to a PPV as long as I can remember.

Trip/Nash, HBK/Flair, and Goldberg/Y2J were all ok enough, but everything else really pretty much sucked. Anti-climatic finishes for nearly every match doesn’t exactly give the first brand extension PPV a good start. I’m usually the “positive” one, but even I have to give Bad Blood a “thumbs down.”