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The Gratuitous B-Movie Column: Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell

August 8, 2018 | Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz
Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell

The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Issue #471: Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell

Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets review column that thinks it’s about time we just accept that the arctic can also be the artic because so few people seem to be able to remember the “c” after the “r” and, goddamit, we all know what the hell they’re talking about, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number four hundred and seventy-one, I finally take a look at the fifth sequel in the Tremors franchise, Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell, which hit home video this past May.

Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell

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Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell, also known as Tremors 6: A Cold Day in Hell (which is what it should be known as because it’s the sixth movie in the goddamn franchise and there’s nothing wrong with being a part 6 in anything. Nothing), comes to us from the same team that brought us Tremors 5: Bloodlines, with Don Michael Paul as director and John Whelpley handling the script. Bloodlines was the first Tremors movie not made by the fine folks at Stampede Entertainment and, as my review stated back when I reviewed it, Bloodlines had a different feel and tone than the previous four Tremors movies. Bloodlines felt more like an out and out horror movie than a horror-comedy, it felt harsher and more sadistic. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, I could live with the shift in tone if that’s what everyone involved wanted to do, but at the same time I preferred the balance between horror and comedy that the Stampede folks spent so much time developing. That seemed like the better movie strategy. And now, three years later, it looks like that everyone now involved in the Tremors franchise decided that the next one needed to strive for that “Stampede balance” and, with A Cold Day in Hell, they’ve come damn close to where the franchise was, tone wise, before Bloodlines. It’s practically a return to form.

Michael Gross returns and once again plays survivalist, gun aficionado, and graboid hunter Burt Gummer, and at the start of the movie he’s back in Perfection, Nevada, operating Walter Chang’s market while the normal owner is away (going to law school or something). While testing a pellet gun, a U.S. government tax agent shows up and informs Gummer that he owes a massive amount in back taxes and that the government intends to seize all of his property. As you’d expect, this news doesn’t sit well with Gummer (he freaks out on the tax man), but at the same time he finds himself in a bit of a pickle. His survivalist video business is in serious decline, he isn’t necessarily getting paid for watching/running Chang’s Market, and he doesn’t have a mass of savings stashed somewhere to pay off his debts. And on top of that, there haven’t been any graboid jobs in a good, long while (nothing since the last movie). What the hell is he going to do?

It’s at this point that Gummer gets a call from a scientific research lab at the Arctic Circle. Apparently, within the Nunavut Territory in Canada, there has been a graboid attack. A graboid attack in the cold of the Arctic Circle? Impossible. Graboids live, exist, and thrive in the heat. How could they survive in the ice and snow and whatnot? Well, Valerie McKee (Jamie-Lee Money), the daughter of Valentine McKee and Rhonda LeBeck from the first Tremors, is at the scene of the graboid carnage and, due to her family background, knows exactly what a graboid attack looks like. Valerie explains to Gummer what she’s seen and pleads with Gummer to come to the scientific station and help take out the graboid menace. Gummer eventually agrees. What else does he have to do? And so Gummer, along with his son Travis (Jamie Kennedy), heads to the Arctic Circle to hunt graboids.

Now, the Arctic Circle is in the midst of an unexpected heat wave when Gummer and Travis arrive via plane, so it isn’t as cold or snow covered as you’d expect it to be. The graboid menace is very real, though, as a graboid off shoot, an ass blaster, shows up and attacks the plane. After taking out the flying killer with the plane’s propeller, Gummer and Travis make an emergency landing near the scientific lab. It’s at this point that Gummer and Travis meet Agent Cutts (Paul du Toit), who runs a nearby DARPA research facility. As soon as Gummer finds out that Cutts is a DARPA agent he suspects that the graboid menace in the Arctic could be a government/military experiment of some sort, perhaps a bioweapon. Cutts doesn’t say what he and his research team is up to; all they do is confiscate the booze that the plane pilot (Mac, as played by Adrienne Pearce) is transporting into the area.

As soon as Gummer meets with the Arctic scientific lab leader, Dr. Rita Sims (Tanya van Graan), he becomes more annoyed than ever before. First, Sims and her people (with the exception of Valerie) seems to be taking the graboid threat seriously. No one seems to understand just how dangerous these creatures are. Second, no one seems to have a real deal answer on what the hell the DARPA people are up to. All anyone seems to know is that the DARPA lab is part of a joint project between the American and Canadian governments. Beyond that, the whole thing is a mystery. And third, something’s off, physically, with Gummer, something he can’t explain. Every so often, out of nowhere, Gummer experiences a flashback that physically stops him dead in his tracks. The flashbacks tend to be scenes and sequences from the first and third movies. Why is Gummer now experiencing these flashbacks, which almost appear to be the result of some kind of shell shock?

Gummer will have to work around all of it. He has a job to do. The graboids are in the Arctic, they’re dangerous as hell (as always), and they need to be stopped. But how is he going to stop them? Can he rely on Travis, who has some experience fighting the creatures? Will Gummer have enough time to train the scientists to fight?
Nope.

As soon as Gummer makes everyone aware of what kind of danger they all face, a graboid appears and eats someone. And in the ensuing chaos of that attack, the lab’s communications go down, including the Wi-Fi, and the lab loses its only satellite phone. Sonofabitch.

Now, while all of that is going on, Agent Cutts and some of his people experience a full on graboid attack while performing some sort of drill test in a waterhole. The attack freaks out Cutts and sends his team scurrying back to the DARPA lab.

And so, between the Arctic lab, the DARPA lab, and the valley they’re all in, Gummer realizes that everyone is screwed. The graboids have everyone boxed in, and without a way to call in backup, it will be only a matter of time before they all end up as graboid food. How the hell are they all going to get out of this alive?

The rest of the movie is, for the most part, Gummer and Travis trying to come up with a plan of attack. They argue quite a bit (they still have issues to deal with), and Gummer blacks out a few times. In fact, Gummer ends up in the lab’s infirmary multiple times and the medical staff run tests on Gummer’s blood. Apparently, Gummer has some sort of parasite inside him that, if it isn’t deal with, will eventually kill him. The parasite is graboid in origin (he likely got it when he was inside a graboid in Tremors 3: Back to Perfection) and the only cure involves using goo from the inside of a graboid. Goo from the inside of a graboid? How the hell is that going to happen? They’re going to have to capture a graboid. Capture a graboid? What the fuck?

And what about Gummer’s tax issues? Will that get resolved?

The opening sequence, where we see three researchers attacked by a graboid in the snow, is one of the best looking graboid attack sequences in the history of the franchise. It’s tense, it’s epic, and it has just enough gore to make you sort of squeamish. It’s also the only real “hard core” horror sequence in the movie. There are plenty more moments of bloody carnage throughout the movie (the DARPA watering hole attack is actually nastier than the opening sequence but it isn’t as gory), but once the first three scientists get eaten the movie’s tone actually shifts and becomes more like the first four movies in the franchise. I was surprised when it happened. I expected to see an expansion of what we saw in Bloodlines. Heck, that movie was “successful,” and why mess with success? Universal wouldn’t have made another one if Bloodlines wasn’t “successful.” Universal didn’t go that way, though. Everyone involved decided to go back, sort of, to what worked before. And it’s terrific.

I do think that, while the script is chock full of great one liners from Gummer and generally funny dialogue, the Arctic circle setting of the movie is what makes it funnier and lighter than Bloodlines. The “cold” and “snow” somehow softens the proceedings. Now, as you will see in the DVD’s special features, the movie was actually made in South Africa and all of the snow was added in via CGI in post-production. Bloodlines was also made in South Africa, but A Cold Day in Hell actually looks like it was made in the badlands of Canada or somewhere like that. A Cold Day in Hell is also more colorful than Bloodlines, which helps mute the harshness that we saw in Bloodlines. I hope that, if and when we get future Tremors installments, the moviemakers stick with the bright colors look and stay away from that harsh and hazy look that way too many low budget genre movies go for. Color is your friend, not your enemy.

The music also helps give the movie that “old” Tremors feel, from the twangy opening theme to the sort of orchestral score that exists throughout the movie. Created by Brian Mantia and Frederik Wiedmann, the score is nothing short of fantastic and is something that would be great to have as a soundtrack CD. That will likely never happen, but, hey, a man can hope, can’t he?

The graboids are, again, mostly CGI and look different than the original mechanical, practical ones. I still prefer the practical creatures, but I will say that the CGI is much better looking in A Cold Day in Hell than it was in Bloodlines. The graboids still have that twirling giant worm look to them, but they’re not as harsh as they were the last time. The graboid’s mouth is absolutely terrifying (the woman that gets swallowed whole is an insane sequence mostly because there’s no escaping that damn mouth. And the tentacles that the graboids have are scary, too). There is one “practical” scene in the movie, when Travis actually climbs into a graboid’s mouth, and it’s phenomenally disgusting. If only one of these Tremors sequels could get a “major” budget so we could see more of that kind of thing.

Tremors6AssBlaster

The ass blasters, all CGI, also look better than ever.

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Michael Gross is, once again, brilliant as Burt Gummer. He’s been playing the character, off and on, for almost three decades and there isn’t a false note in his performance. He has several great unhinged moments, like when he flips out on Travis over whether or not he filled out the right paperwork in order to bring in firearms to Canada. And the “Guinness Book of balls!” section is a section destined to live on YouTube forever. Gross also adds a slight dose of further humanity into Gummer when he questions Travis on his rifle. I think you’ll be surprised at the way Gummer reacts. Gross also does a decent enough job in the action scenes he’s asked to do. He isn’t as quick as he used to be, but Gross can still fire two 9mm Berettas with the best of them. I hope Gross never stops playing Gummer. What do you think of the whole “hat changing” thing?

Jamie Kennedy is less annoying this time out as Gummer’s son Travis (or Travis B. Welker, as he likes to be called). Travis is a little more sarcastic this time around, but because the whole “he’s Gummer’s son” thing is out there for the world to see it plays better. Kennedy also has much better chemistry with Gross in this movie. Kennedy does a good job in the action scenes he’s asked to do, and he handles the “passing of the torch” scene quite well. I’m not sure Kennedy can front a Tremors movie by himself yet, but if the intention is to keep him around as Gummer’s sidekick I’m fine with it. It works.

Jamie-Lee Money is awesome as Valerie McKee. She definitely seems like she could be the daughter of Valentine and Rhonda from the first movie, as she has Valentine’s confidence and Rhonda’s smarts in abundance. It’s also a hoot when she explains what graboids are and how she likes to work a machine gun. She’s quite the shot. Hopefully she returns in the next one, if there is a next one.

Tanya van Graan is terrific as Dr. Rita Sims. She’s tough, she’s smart, she knows how to wield a rifle, and, well, she’s hot. Her whole “lack of underwear” thing is a bit shocking, but then smart people do that kind of thing sometimes. I don’t know if I totally buy her as Kennedy’s love interest, at least not yet. Perhaps she, too, will show up in another movie and we’ll see more of her and Travis.

Adrienne Pearce is hilarious as the pilot Mac. She’s a little crazy, sure, but then you probably have to be crazy in order to survive at the Arctic Circle. The whole booze running thing is also a good indicator of how nuts she is.

And Paul du Toit is an absolute scumbag as DARPA agent Cutts. As soon as you see him you don’t like him, and that sentiment doesn’t change throughout the movie’s 98 minute running time. The only disappointment when it comes to Cutts? He didn’t get to see the inside of a graboid. It’s a damn, damn shame.

Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell is a great sequel and an almost return to form. The cast, the director, the story, it all works quite well, and I think if you’re a fan of the first four Tremors flicks you’ll enjoy this one. Now, bring on part 7. Where the hell else can graboids show up next?

See Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell. See it, see it, see it. It’s pretty dang awesome.

So what do we have here?

Dead bodies: Around 20.

Explosions: Several.

Nudity?: None.

Doobage: Snow, ice core drilling, a seismic spike, orange goo city, multiple people eaten, severed arm spitting, pellet gun hooey, beer drinking, a severed frozen head, a guy sleeping on the roof, white camo hooey, small plane hooey, emergency landing hooey, ass blaster killing, alcohol confiscation, a real lack of snow, a lecture on the danger of what is happening, ass blaster attack with head crushing, satellite dish destruction, a flying severed head, double handgun hooey, exploding ass blaster, a parasite, a hot spring watering hole, eggs, female scientist eating, total geographic isolation, a slow motion car flip, floor attack, soldier eating, a 4-wheller used as a decoy, exploding graboid, a pissing diversion, multiple parasite attacks, electric fence making, a pretty cool man-on-fire gag, full on trailer destruction, bomb making, shoe eating, serious exploding graboid, a very dead power generator, a bomb throwing montage, a graboid capturing plan, attempted machete hooey, crawling into a graboid’s mouth, needle hooey, remote control airplane hooey, a final exploding graboid, and an epic series of complaints about a kiss.

Kim Richards?: None.

Gratuitous: South African desert with “snow,” complaining about who uses the metric system, Michael Gross, Jamie Kennedy, calisthenics, someone explaining what graboids are just in case you didn’t know, a satellite phone, Michael Gross yelling about a government form that needs to be filled out in order to bring guns into Canada, DARPA, a shot taken at Kevin Bacon, remote control plane flying, graboid skin boots, multiple flashbacks to earlier Tremors movies, Jamie Kennedy talking about nailing Jell-O to a wall, an obvious stunt double, noise making, “Mustang Sally,” metal balls, and an epic series of complaints about a kiss.

Best lines: “Guys, we hit something,” “There are no big life form that in the ice!,” “Really, Gummer? A motion detector?,” “Perfection,” “Do it again, dickweed,” “Special agent? You’re a bean counter!,” “You’ve changed teams? No! Just hats,” “What the hell happened here?,” “Graboids! Where?,” “Ask her if she’s hot,” “Why are you so sure this is a graboid attack?,” “Welcome to the great white north,” “Ass blasters? In the Arctic?,” “Do I smell alcohol?,” “Do you know that skidmark?,” “Wow. They even know you in Canada,” “I thought it would be colder than a reindeer’s ball bag up here,” “How do you recover a half-eaten testicle?,” “Come on, this sounds like a bunch of sassafras,” “We’ve got ass blasters on campus!,” “Doc! Grow a spine!,” “My balls are stainless steel!,” “My balls are in the Guinness Book of Balls!,” “Your father was the most brilliant underachiever I ever met,” “How the hell did you get infected by a graboid?,” “Don’t let the urgent get in the way of the important,” “This shit just got real,” “Do you feel up for this, old man?,” “You know, that’s a good idea but bioweapons are not my thing,” “All right, let’s scoot and shoot!,” “Biomechanics are so sexy,” “Take off your pants, Rita!,” “You’re going commando in the Arctic?,” “That boy’s got game,” “Oh, come on, if you’re going to piss like a puppy at least stay on the porch!,” “I’ll be dead when I say I’m dead!,” “Oh, shit, he lived?,” “Don’t leave me unarmed,” “I guess blood ain’t thicker than ammo, huh?,” “Let’s go fishing,” “A 3 iron? It was the best I could do,” “Amateurs,” “If it’s good for the graboid it’s good for the Gummer,” “That is no way to treat an HK91!,” “With all due respect, soldier, you need a shower,” “Graboids don’t make good pets, Mr. Cutts!,” “Call me Burt!,” “Dude, what do you know about kissing?,” and “Pops?”

Rating: 9.0/10.0

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Things to Watch Out For This Week

SomeonesWatchingMe

Someone’s Watching Me!: Written and directed by John Carpenter, this is the TV movie Carpenter made right before Halloween (I do believe it was released on NBC after Halloween back in 1978). I’ve never seen this (I’ve never seen it on TV, and I don’t think it ever got a home video release on VHS. I never saw it at any of the video stories I frequented back in the day), but it’s something I’ve wanted to see since I found out that Carpenter made it. This Blu-ray comes to us from the fine folks at Shout! Factory/Scream Factory, and while it doesn’t have a Carpenter commentary on it, it’ll still be worth picking up. Scream Factory really doesn’t do bad home video releases, and, heck, it’s another John Carpenter movie. What’s not to like about that?

2036OriginUnknown

2036: Origin Unknown: Katee Sackhoff apparently stars in this low budget British sci-fi flick. I don’t know what to make of it, really. I think the trailer is intriguing, but some of the early reviews I’ve seen for this claim the movie is slow moving and convoluted, so I’m worried about it. I’ve seen way too many low budget sci-fi movies that feel like they play forever, and, in the low budget movie world, they tend to be the worst ones to sit through. However, I think Sackhoff is an underrated actress and I’m hoping that this isn’t as bad as it’s been made out to be. Anyone out there already see this at a festival or anything? Is it bad? Boring?

BreakinIn

Breaking In: I missed this home invasion action flick when it was in movie theatres this past May. I’m not a fan of Gabrielle Union, who stars, but the trailers for this actually looked pretty good and director James McTiegue was in need of a hit, so I wanted to see it. I didn’t, though. Now that it’s on home video, what better time to check it out than now? And, heck, I bet this movie finds a huge audience on home video. It just looks like the kind of movie that people will find and enjoy on home video. Anyone out there see this? Is it any good? Am I right in assuming that it’s the kind of movie that will find a huge audience on home video?

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Did you check out Cult TV?

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The 1970’s TV thriller Kolchak: The Night Stalker is first up! Check out what I think about the show with the links below!

Issue #1
Issue #2
Episode 3

#4… coming soon! It really is!

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B-Movie News

AlexanderNevskyMaximumImpact

Maximum Impact picked up by Unified Pictures for North American distribution!: Action star Alexander Nevsky’s next action vehicle, the action comedy Maximum Impact, was recently picked up by Unified Pictures for distribution in North America. The movie, directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak with a script by Ross LaManna, will be released theatrically on September 28, 2018, and then hit home video and Video On Demand on October 2nd. Joining Nevsky in Maximum Impact are Kelly Hu, William Baldwin, Tom Arnold, Mark Dacascos, and Danny Trejo, making for one of the best B-movie casts in recent memory.

The plot, according to the press release I received regarding the distribution news, has an agent of the Federal Security Service of Russia (Nevsky, naturally) and a U.S. Secret Service agent having to team up to rescue the granddaughter of the U.S. Secretary of State who gets kidnapped in Moscow for some reason. Action and comedy ensue.

The cast sounds phenomenal, and Nevsky is a great new action star who keeps making worthwhile action flicks (Showdown in Manila was excellent). I definitely plan on checking this out when it hits North America.

Be on the lookout for the official English language trailer for the movie (it should be out at some point later this week) and make sure you keep an eye out for the flick if it happens to be playing at a movie theatre near you. Otherwise, October 2nd can’t get here fast enough.

DeathRaceBeyondAnarchy

Death Race: Beyond Anarchy hitting home video this October. Finally: I don’t quite know what happened with this low budget, direct-to-video sequel, as it was supposed to come out earlier this year (in January, to be exact). For whatever reason, Universal Home Video decided not to release the movie then, but it looks like it’s finally going to get released this October 2nd. Directed by Don Michael Paul (hey, he directed Tremors 6, too), this newest Death Race sequel stars Zach McGowan and also apparently features Danny Glover, Danny Trejo (damn, he’s going to be a busy guy on October 2nd), and Fred Koehler.

I still haven’t seen any of the Death Race remake sequels, but I did enjoy the Jason Statham remake and think, with this fourth one coming out, I need to check these goddamn things out. They may look cheesy and whatnot, but they could be fun, and sometimes that’s all you really need from a movie. Fun.

So when you’re checking out Maximum Impact on October 2nd, be sure to check out Beyond Anarchy. I mean, what the hell else are you going to have going on at that time?

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Who is the Douchebag of the Week? Go here and find out!

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Next Issue: Krull!

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Well, I think that’ll be about it for now. Don’t forget to sign up with disqus if you want to comment on this article and any other 411 article. You know you want to, so just go do it.

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Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell

Michael Gross– Burt Gummer
Jamie Kennedy– Travis B. Welker
Jamie-Lee Money– Valerie McKee
Tanya van Graan– Dr. Rita Sims
Adrienne Pearce– Mac
Paul du Toit– Agent Cutts
Rob van Vuuren– Swackhammer
Francesco Nassimbeni– Dr. Charles Freezze
Christie Peruso– Geo-Tech Vargas
Jay Antsey– Dr. D
Kiroshan Naidoo– Hart Hansen
Keeno Lee Hector– Aklark

Directed by Don Michael Paul
Screenplay by John Whelpley, based on characters created by S.S. Wilson, Brent Maddock, and Ron Underwood

Distributed by Universal Studios and Universal Pictures Home Entertainment

Rated PG-13 for creature violence, gore, crude humor, and language
Runtime– 98 minutes

Buy it here or here